Growing pains

Hope loses it when Aiden returns, but did he just save the show? Elsewhere, Salem deals with a viral breakout, and Chad and Ciara get way too close for comfort. Check it all out in Two Scoops!

One tried and true parenting trope is the old, "You made this mess. You deal with it." It's not meant to be mean, of course. But, it is intended to teach important lessons like not to "perm" your Barbie's hair with vinegar and hand lotion. Yes, I did this. No, it did not work. Yes, my cousin Lauren and I were left with a bald Barbie.

But we had to keep that bald Barbie around. She still had to fly that plane and live in that dream house, after all. So, we fashioned her with the most fabulous scarves and hats you've ever seen. And I learned that you don't always get to just chuck everything and start over when you make a mess. Sometimes you have to deal with it.

Well, it's time to make the writers play with some bald Barbies.

The first doll goes to the Hope/Ciara/Chase/Aiden situation. The rape was the bad perm attempt. And this was a doozy. Not only was Ciara raped by her stepbrother, but it was in the middle of Alice Horton's living room! The writers made that scene so disturbing that viewers will never forget it.

So while Andre certainly complicated this situation, Hope's choice isn't that tough. There's no way either parent would turn on their kids. After the lengths Aiden went to to cover up Chase accidentally killing his mother, no one should be surprised with Aiden trying to protect his son now.

But on the other side, it's hard to root for Hope to give either of them another chance. This woman knows the pain of losing a child. There's no way Hope would pick a man over her kid. And Aiden shouldn't want her if she would. The two bonded over their mutual protection of their children. Sadly, they should end over it as well. There is no compromise to be made here.

The fix? Plunge Aiden into villain status. Daniel Cosgrove plays sinister spectacularly well. Even villains can love their families. (Hi, Vivian!) Heck, villains can even fall in love. (Hey there, Kristen!) But this way, the rape isn't twisted into something that Hope has to compromise over. And we still get the good chemistry between Kristian and Daniel from time to time.

Okay, time to hand out more dolls. Ever since I saw her smile that huge, toothy grin, I thought for sure Jade was Ava's daughter. So, I've been overlooking the rapid pace in which she and Joey fell in love and she became Joey's main confidante because I knew there was more. There just had to be!

I was even fine with the bald Barbie (in this case, Joey murdering Ava) because I thought that act would be the basis for a grand storyline of revenge. We'd even get a mafia princess out of the deal, and it's been a long minute since we had a good young villainess!

But, alas, I'm starting to realize there might not be any more. We're really supposed to forget about the murder and be worried that Jo-Jo is headed to do some hard time for stealing some rocks from a souvenir shop. I felt no suspense during the Joey police scene. The whole thing was a symphony of reaction shots from a bunch of nobodies...and Steve. If there is more here, we need to get to it right away, if not sooner.

At least this cross-country bike ride turned Manson family plight gives Kayla some quality time with Fynn. I like that they've maneuvered him away from sex tape playboy to a guy who really cares about Kayla. I wouldn't go so far as to say that I'm excited for Kayla and Fynn, but I certainly don't hate them. I get Kayla's annoyance at being handled and Steve keeping her out of the loop to "protect her." Both those things do seem to happen to her a lot.

Plus, Kayla hasn't had anyone but Steve in nearly 30 years. Yet, Steve's had flings with Billie and Ava. I don't mean that as "Steve cheated so Kayla can too!" I'm just pointing out that I don't totally hate the idea of Kayla being the one to choose someone over Steve for a change. There's no doubt in my mind that Steve and Kayla are endgame. But, it's nice to be reminded that Kayla is more than just "and Kayla" from "Steve and Kayla".

Also, this whole "you know I'll never leave you" stuff had me wondering if Fynn is helping Kayla's headaches along so he can play Florence Nightingale. I'm keeping an eye on Fynn just in case.

Finally, there's the bald Barbie that is the Deimos/Victor feud. Two Titans going head-to-head? I'm all in! But there's been a bait and switch here. Somehow, the storyline set up as a revenge plot for Victor and Maggie barely involves Victor or Maggie anymore. Boo.

As for Deimos himself, he's a solid C for me. Yet, he's getting the A+ treatment on DAYS. I have this working theory that Deimos was put in place for Vincent Irizzary to have a juicy role because he was a big get for the show. Since I didn't know Vincent before DAYS, I tossed up a Twitter poll this week to see how many of you were familiar with his work. Almost 70 percent of you said you'd seen him before. So, let me know, is DAYS using him right?

LOOSE ENDS Part of me wants to feel something for Chase. He's been through a lot. But this isn't the adorable blond moppet that Ciara bullied. He has a completely different face now, and I can't quite explain why (and I fully acknowledge that it's not fair), but I just don't feel the same for Chase with Jonathan McClendon in the role. I think maybe this was a case where too much changed in an instant. Swapping the age, actor, and character traits all at once is hard for an audience to swallow.

As much as I want to smack Mama H with a frying pan every time she bashes Hope, I have to admit that I'm intrigued to know who she was calling. Emily and Arianna are dead. Who else would be so invested in Rafe?

And given the prospect of Sonny and Paul, I'll actually take it. Aside from the Chandler Massey years, Will's never been a favorite of mine. So, it's easy for me to fold up my Wilson flag* and save it for later. Plus, I'd like to see Christopher Sean given a real chance at being a powerful romantic lead. It's time to get him off the bench. Plus, Paul still being hung up on Sonny is consistent, which is my main complaint with the current storylines.

*Made of 100% unfortunately patterned cardigans

Who else got immediate flashbacks of Abigail and Austin when Ciara sat down on that couch next to a drunk and passed-out Chad?

HOT:

I like Henry. He has guts for asking Paul out. But, hello, cradle robber! I get the same major stop sign with these two that I do with Chad and Ciara. So I'm glad Paul let him down gently. It gives me one more reason to root for Paul. Now, let's just not forget about Henry. Maybe he can go work for Philip and learn the music promotion bizz! He could be Claire's first publicist! Make. It. Happen. #TeamHenry

NOT: The following two lines actually happened this week: Nicole: "I never met a man with so much self-confidence who thinks he's invincible." Kate: "You move me more than any man I've ever known?" Both were about Deimos. Okay, sure. Let's ignore the fact that Nicole was married to both Victor and E.J. -- two guys who practically invented self-confidence. And Kate fell for the town devil so much that she helped Stefano uncover a long lost son and took care of Stefano in failing health.

What really grates me about these statements is that Kate and Nicole are two of the strongest, most independent women on the show, and this storyline is turning them into chumps. I mean, Kate literally set up a seduction scene for the man she just caught cheating on her a few hours before! And while I'm really glad she's not with Dr. Judgment anymore, watching her go through the motions of trying to prove herself to a man takes me right back to Nicole's Apology Tour 2015. Gross. The only way to make this work is if Kate and Nicole are secretly working together. Otherwise, the lack of self-respect this storyline is requiring of these two is pretty stinky. They're better than that.

LINE OF THE WEEK: Jade (to Joey) : "You wanna hang with me? Do something cool." Right back attcha, Jade baby.

RANDOM THOUGHTS While looking for a DAYS onesie for my little Kristin-Vivian, I came across this, and it may be the strangest thing on the Internet.

Anne took another job. Kayla and Fynn are on the run. Who's minding the shop at Salem U Hospital?

Rafe only eats salsa when he's upset. Dude, wait until you learn about ice cream.

For the record, a guy with an eye patch telling someone else to not have a distinctive feature is laugh-out-loud funny.

Henry is right. College applications are the worst.

Jade actually said to Joey, "I like this side of you, killer." Might not be the best nickname.

One session with Marlena, and Ciara's ready to move on with Chad. Marlena should probably triple her rates.

Steve was right there in the commune the whole time?! I guess the search party isn't as great when they're high. Just say no, kids!

Nicole sure did change clothes and curl her hair fast. If I could master this art, maybe I wouldn't show up to work every day rocking the messy top-knot and the least-spit-up-on top at the moment.

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