Please excuse the filthy dark details and carnal lust

Whoomp! There it is. Jennifer discovered J.J. and Eve's naughty little secret, but will she truly end up with the upper hand, or are Jennifer's hands about to get just as dirty? Plus, Will and J.J. seem to be cut from the same cloth, as neither is ready to own what he did, and both want a free pass. Will they get it? Find out all the sordid details in this week's Two Scoops!

Congratulations, Jennifer! J.J. isn't selling and/or using drugs again. There's that, right? Right, girl? Okay, I need to tread lightly. I don't want Jennifer mad at me. She's one scary badmammajamma right now. Yes, that's right. Jennifer found out about J.J. and Eve having the sex. She's not happy. At all.

But before I dive into this storyline -- all the Love It or List It aspects -- I have to stop and praise Melissa Reeves and Kassie DePaiva. Those two brought the house down! Their emotional scenes were ugly. They were raw. They were a captivating train wreck brought to us by two powerhouse performers. I couldn't be a prouder member of their fan club if I tried. My hat is officially tipped, ladies (and to you, too, Casey Moss)!

Now, as for said "Love It or List It aspects," I have a few. For starters, I loved every epic soapy moment of Jennifer's discovery and the immediate aftermath. That is why I watch soaps! Those are the water-cooler moments we want to discuss with our DAYS' lovin' friends -- "Did you see Jennifer's face when she walked in on J.J. and Eve!?" "OMG, yes!" "How about that slap!?" "I know!" And so on and so forth. Yes, yes, and yes. Well played, DAYS. We can also file the return of Jennifer's chutzpah under "Love It." Lady was fired up. From her crazy eyes to her declaring "I will cause a scene!" I couldn't get enough. Melissa Reeves outdid herself by bringing us on an emotional roller-coaster. Jen was mad, hurt, confused, focused, and hell-bent all in one beat. I almost (but not really) felt bad for Eve as she cowered in Jennifer's hatred.

Another "Love It" is that Jennifer reminded Abigail that she was an investigative journalist. Yes, please! I want to see more of this Jennifer. Okay, that's not a surprise, really. I've been lobbying for her to get back into reporting for years. It suits her better than hospital PR work. It brings out the fire in Jennifer that most longtime fans fell in love with in the first place.

Some more "Love It" moments? Sure. Randomly, they were Abigail being the voice of reason, Jennifer accepting that J.J. was at fault, too (for a minute, at least), and Roxanne. I like that girl. I want to see more of her. She pretty much summed up the entire storyline in a few sentences. One, "This is way crazy." Two, "Okay, we got that like an hour ago way too loud and clear." Rock on with your bad self, Roxanne.

And one final "Love It" goes to Rory. After months of enduring J.J.'s general pissy attitude and snark toward him, he went and delivered the most truth-filled lines possible by stating, "No, you shut up, dude! You're the one who dropped her [Paige] and now you're all sad. What the hell, J.J.? Man up! Live with it! And stop bringing everybody else down." Preach that awesome sauce, my stoner friend!

Alas, I can't love everything. And I didn't. At all. And there are plenty of reasons I want to "List" this storyline. Let's begin with a biggie. I love, love, love that Jennifer is fired up. I do. And I loved every minute of her gloating to Eve that she now has the upper hand. She does. Again, "Love it!" I even enjoy that she's not above a little blackmailing. Whatever. It's a soap. I'll bite. But what I'm not loving is the reason Jennifer has resorted to blackmail. She's strong-arming Eve into clearing a path for J.J. and Paige to reunite. That doesn't feel so good.

Let's break this down to the barest of bares -- Jennifer is okay with J.J. dating Paige again after walking in on him and Eve -- Paige's mother! -- shall we say, doing it like randy rabbits. Okay, no. No. Very no. Wanting your child to be happy is one thing -- the most important thing, says the enabler Jennifer -- for most parents, but I don't even think Kate would touch this one. Jennifer is basically absolving J.J. so he can (possibly) reconcile with a girl after sleeping with her mother. Sorry, had to repeat that last part. Then again, Jennifer did take Jack back after he slept with Laura, so perhaps Jennifer's tolerance to "Eww! Eww! OMG, eww!" is a lot higher than ours. Eww. The only way it would be fair for Paige to give J.J. another chance is if Paige herself knew the entire story. Right now, she doesn't. Jennifer is simply enabling J.J.'s "Poor me"/"I'll never love again" attitude by paving a way (via blackmail and lies) for him to reach out to Paige without Eve as an obstacle. Jennifer's sort of like his pimp greenlighting his behavior because he feels soooo bad, and Paige is the poor sucker she wants to pay for it.

As for Jennifer's notion (which came with a warning, I'll give her that much) that it's kind of okay to lie in the name of love/not to hurt the people you say you love/because J.J. had a sad face on, let's take a look at a snippet from Mickey Horton's soapcentral.com's profile:

"Outraged at being lied to for years, Mickey bought a gun and waited for Bill to return home. Mickey planned to murder Bill, and when the two fought over the gun, it went off, shooting Bill in the arm. After the fight, Mickey suffered a mental breakdown and was admitted to Bayview Sanitarium for one year. While there, he tried to strangle two nurses he pictured to be Laura."

Nope, nothing to see there, folks. Good thinking, Jennifer. I have no doubts this will all work out in your and J.J.'s favor. Nope. No doubts at all. And if you need me, I'll be at the bar.

Oh, right. Before I grab that drink, I should talk about Will. He usually ensures I'll need a double.

So, Sonny has decided to move on from Salem for a while and head to sunny Arizona to mend at brother Alex's place. Don't feel too bad; he flew there on Victor's private jet. Anyway. Sonny left Will, Will's big mouth, and Will's selfishness to sort through things. I support Sonny's sabbatical. Will doesn't. Among other asinine comments, Will tried to get Sonny to stay by pointing out that Arianna Grace needs him around. Sonny seemed to be a gentleman and didn't state the obvious. Okay. I will for him. So, Will, the baby didn't need him around when you went to L.A., but now she does? Got it, Sami Jr.

Seriously, Will is on my last nerve, if you couldn't tell. I love that in his world, Sonny is even a smidge at fault for him cheating. Or Paul, for that matter. Paul "seduced him," he claimed. Right.

Will is the one who lied to Paul, who's been pretty clear what he's wanted all along (be it a roll in the hay or to reunite with his true love). Totally on Team Paul here at the moment, especially if he keeps calling out Will's wonky ways. When he said to Will, "Own what you did!" I wanted to clap and cheer. Okay, I totally did. I clapped. And cheered.

Moreover, Will's using information he flipping found out after he cheated on his husband as excuses as to why he did what he did. Um, it doesn't work that way, Willie. But. But! There is a silver lining to all of this, and it's not something you hear me say often, but, thank God for Marlena! Like Paul, Doc called Will out on his bull shiitake in no time flat. She said he was trying to shift the blame. He said, "I'm at fault. I get it." Really, Will? Do you really? Something tells me he doesn't. Nice try, though, Mar Mar! LOOSE ENDS: Tori. Tori. Tori. Looks like Mama Narita has a dirty little secret she's trying to hide. She got all shades of skittish when she saw John enter Club TBD. I'm in! The more ingrained Tori is in Salem, the longer she and Paul will stay. And that's a good thing. They're two of the best new characters to come along in a very long time.

On second thought, I guess a lot of people get nervous around John. With all his brain scrambling, it's hard to tell when he'll snap. Plus, many folks do try to dodge Marlena as well. Either way, Tori is onto something.

Speaking of great new characters -- Serena, aren't Paul and Tori great?

Okay, fine. Serena knows that Parker has the elephant statue and was visited by her boss's henchwoman, Navidad. She was pretty. And that's about it. A pretty henchwoman and more elephant chit-chat. As long as this storyline goes on, I'm fairly certain I won't have to introduce "my butt" to "the edge of my seat." That's for the better. I'm terrible at introductions.

Not so terrible were Eric and Nicole actually playing nice for a change. They even hugged! And -- and she walked away from the hug without him scolding her. It was a great moment for Erole fans who refuse to give up. More, please.

Ben was cleared of all charges. There, there, and a pat on the back. I know. I was worried, too.

Finally, it looks like there will be a country mouse in the big city! That's right. Lil' Tammy Sue is heading to NYC for a once-in-a-lifetime dream job. Love Chrishell Stause as I do, I think it's best for Jordan to move on. Chrishell has done a great job with the material. It's just a shame the material has never been that great to her.

HOT

Last week's episodes were brought to you by the Houses of Reeves and DePaiva! I mean, seriously? Could these two lovely ladies get any more legendary? The answer is no. No they couldn't. #moreplease

NOT I'd have to review my soapcentral.com's insurance package, but I'm pretty sure I can get Worker's Comp for pain and suffering due to dealing with cousins Will and J.J. Seriously, those two are about as self-aware as Pep Le Pew. That is, they both stink. LINE OF THE WEEK Nicole (regarding Theresa): "You know what? That girl could really use a hug. [Pause] Or electroshock therapy."

Promising news! Nicole is talking to herself (in public, no less) more and more these days. Old Nicole used to do that all the time. Maybe the 2015 Apology Tour is over.

I adore Jen Lilley! She totally commits to Theresa's crazy in the best way possible.

When Rory asked J.J. if his new gal had a friend or sister, was I the only one who wanted to shout, "No! But she does have a daughter your age."

Mmm, mac and cheese! Thanks for the dinner suggestion, Hope.

I miss Bo and Roman scenes.

Dr. Dan and Parker are adorable together.

Okay, the chief of staff and freshman intern going over files together. One is way too important to do that, and the other is way too underqualified.

I wonder how Nathan Horton is doing in Baltimore.

It was sort of odd seeing Paige at the Kiriakis Mansion House!

Shocked face! Rory failed a class. No. Way. #way

I couldn't help but to crack up when Jennifer told Abigail that Eve had "her dirty paws all over this." "This" being Paige and J.J.'s breakup. Not J.J. himself. But it works both ways, really.

PARTING THOUGHTS So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's Two Scoops for the week of March 9! I promised Jennifer I'd help her Clorox her eyes, so Laurisa will be back next week to serve up another heaping dish of Two Scoops. And "That's a fact!"

As always, thanks for reading! Tony

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