"Death" on the Nile

Nick Fallon makes his case for one of the best soap villains as he terrorizes Gabi, Kate, and Abigail without them even knowing it. Find out more in this week's Two Scoops.

Of all the twists and turns that happened last week, there's one question that is more puzzling than the rest. It's one that even the Internet couldn't provide me an easy answer for. Sure, everyone else seemed to be wondering how Nick was able to escape that icy cold water with a huge gash on his head. But I was too busy wondering, just when do Catholic baptisms take place?

Everyone went back to work after Arianna's baptism like it was just a quick lunch! Is this a thing? Do they happen at 10 a.m. on a Wednesday? It was all very strange to me.

Where was I? Oh, yes. Nick.

Nick is back and creepier than ever. As I've said before, Blake Berris is a treasure. He's on his way to joining the ranks of Anders Hove and Roscoe Borne (See here or here) on my list of People Who Scare Me So Much on TV that I'd be Scared of Them in Real Life list. His portrayal of Nick reminds me of what would happen if Hannibal Lector and Scar from The Lion King decided to mentor one of the kids from Lord of the Flies.

The one I actually feel the most for is Gabi. Nick tried to rape her. The crimes Gabi committed against Nick happened in the immediate minutes following his attack. I really can't demand too much from her reasoning capabilities in those moments. And if you've been reading the column for any amount of time, you know that I have no problem calling out Gabi's skirted responsibilities.

But, I have a major problem with him having the upper hand with her again here. Throwing in the fact that Nick himself is a rape victim does little to help win him any points. In fact, it makes him look all the more sick, if not suggesting a completely split personality like mommy dearest.

But going the Jessica Fallon route would be all too easy. Nope, I think that the sainted Hortons like Julie will be shocked to learn that their precious little Nicky is a big, pants-a-flaming liar. There's no way that the Birdman of Annoyance just happened to be the perfect assistant for Nick at Mad World. There's no way that Nick just happened to be the only person not telling Abigail that all the DiMeras are bad. Nick's moving forward with his plan to exact revenge on the terrible trio, and he's starting with Kate.

This could not please me more as Kate just so happened to have another scene with Stefano last week. I know that she turned him down for a dinner date. But Rafe has moved on with the lovely Jordan. So, can Kate please stuff that noise about how she never loved Stefano? We all know that isn't true. Plus, Stefano might be the only match for Nick right now, so Kate would do well to keep that trump card in her bed corner.

Speaking of bedmate, E.J. and Abigail continued their forbidden dance in the hospital closet. Okay, truth time, kids. The glaring problem with Ejabigal is that Abigail is nowhere near the sparring partner that E.J. has in Sami and, for me, that sinks their chemistry potential. I think it's really cute and all when Abs tries to act like she's on the same psychological level as E.J. But when she "threatens" him, she comes across more like a yappy Pomeranian who will crumble the second a cookie is brought into negotiations. (To be fair to Abigail, I'd pretty much do anything for cookies too. Especially oatmeal raisin. They're delicious.)

In all seriousness, it's a waste of E.J.'s character to pair him with someone with whom he has to retract his claws and play by the rules. We saw that train wreck with Taylor. And Abigail is even less confident than Taylor was. Now, as I mentioned earlier, turning Abigail crazy would kick this storyline into high gear. But that doesn't seem to be where they're going. Bummer, because the divine Ms. Mansi can own that role like few others.

But I have to admit that even I'm having a hard time noticing that the show is screwing with one of their best couples in years. And that's all because Eric and Nicole are basically winning the world right now.

You know the feeling when you see your crush walk into the party with another girl? Multiply this by a million and that's what Nicole felt when Eric walked into the pub, wearing his collar. Only in her case, this "other girl" is not one that she can compete with, at least not in the traditional way. And Nicole is going to need to realize that this "other girl" isn't going to be out of Eric' life even if she does win his heart. And that gives this storyline a lot of leeway as far as time goes.

I've heard the "you deserve the best" speech a lot in my soap opera watching career. And 99 percent of the time, it's total hooey. But Eric might be the only character genuinely good enough to pull it off. When he took Nicole's hand and told her that she deserved someone who could be everything she wanted, it solidified my opinion that Eric is by far Nicole's best partner.

Nicole knows it too. And now that she told Daniel what really went down in that basement, he knows it as well. I really hope that their trip to find Dr. Chyka doesn't result in Daniel and Nicole thinking they can be a pair. Daniel's built up a lot of good credit since he split with Jennifer. But he's still a far cry from Eric when it comes to Nicole.

LOOSE ENDS Rafe and Jordan's relationship is continuing to do wonders for Rafe. He's so self-deprecating with her. (See: "Is anything bruised?" "Just my ego.") He's actually sort of charming! Nice work, Jordan!

Unless Abigail goes crazy, I really don't want to see the side of her I saw last week. The whole "desperate to have it happen again" is the same type of malarkey that I got mad about before when she was embarrassed about being a virgin. I'm tired of watching Abigail be ashamed over making decisions about what to do with her body. That type of embarrassment doesn't look good on any lady, least of all a strong girl like Abigail.

J.J. and Bev managed to set a trap for Theresa, and she took the $2,000 bait. Not only will it be nice to see Theresa get some payback, but what about the strong showing from my new gal, Bev? I kinda like her!

Thank you, E.J., for pointing out that Nick is totally lying about being a better person. I'm a little shocked that Sami didn't recognize fake amnesia when it walked right into her granddaughter's christening. Maybe her blonde hair contained all of her magical scheming power!

I'm pretty sure that Aiden just stands in the doorways and waits to butt into Hope's conversations. And I'm definitely sure that Hope and Aiden aren't going to be at each other's throats forever. I like Kristian Alfonso and Daniel Cosgrove together very much. But, we need to clear up the little Bo problem before Hope really moves on. Despite the fact that we never see him, the show has led us to believe that Hope talks to him regularly.

Brady may be the most resourceful alcoholic, excuse me, heroin addict who "doesn't have a drinking problem" ever. He managed to eavesdrop on Victor's plan to monitor his every move and steal Maggie's key to Daniel's house. I don't like to see Maggie and Victor lose, but they got straight up beat last week.

HOT The scene where Sami, Kate, and Gabi stuffed their faces with dessert in celebration of Nick's return was a hoot. If nothing else, the fact that Nick is blackmailing them all will mean that these three still have a chance to hang out and stress each other out. I'm getting quite fond of the terrible trio. I'd like the band to stick together a little longer.

NOT Forgive me, Father, for I'm about to call out your boy. What's your problem, Brother Timothy? At first I thought your cool Irish accent was a nice nod to the Brady heritage. But then you became a real party pooper. How dare you suggest that Eric's feelings for Nicole are somehow tied in to what happened with Kristen!? I'll have you know that Eric flipped his perfectly gelled lid when he saw Nicole and Vargas together. He was equally ruffled when he learned Brady was sleeping with Nicole. Both of those things happened before Eric learned anything about Kristen's revenge. So, I'm really going to need you to back up the judgmental train and give Eric a break, mmkay, Timbo?

LINE OF THE WEEK Nicole: "I can't be another man's second best." Ohhhhhh!! Cue the Beyonc music and sing it proud. You go, lady!

Honorable mention: Kate (about Nick): "He's an ex-con with a crush on crazy."

RANDOM THOUGHTS Upon our first meeting, my husband's great-aunt took one look at me and said, "Well, honey, you're really pretty, but I don't know how you expect to have a baby on those hips!" She and Julie would have gotten along splendidly.

I liked the detail on Will's suit jacket.

Nicole looked fierce in that black and white dress.

Wait! Father Matt isn't at St. Luke's anymore? I'm not going to be the one to break it to @Tony_S_Days

The Chad bashing can stop any time now, Hortons. It just makes you look stupid.

Did Julie really warn someone else about pushing too hard?

I'm pretty sure "Alleged vow forsaker" should be hyphenated. Also, I'm pretty sure I'm going to punch the pretend Internet journalist who wrote that about my Eric.

Abigail could use some lessons from Kate on how to dress snazzy but still appropriate. Underboob is not work-appropriate.

I adore Theresa and Abigail as sparing partners. They work much better than E.J. and Abigail.

Alison Sweeny and Lauren Koslow's reaction shots to Nick's "confession" in the church were things of beauty. So very well done, ladies.

I know that they aren't E.J.'s biggest fans, but to skip out on Arianna's christening party seemed a bit small of Rafe and Lucas. That day wasn't about you, fellas.

Anne and Miles may make an interesting pair.

How exactly would one remove waterproof makeup at night? The chemicals involved can't be good for your skin.

The underwater camera trick that DAYS has is way cool.

Hey, Miles, quick insight from us ladies for ya -- a guy as good-looking as Eric doesn't need to go the "let me pretend I'm a priest so that chicks will like me more because I'm forbidden" route. He could probably just go with, "Hi. I'm Eric."

And that's all for now, DAYS fans! Tony will be back next week to accompany us all to J.J.'s sentencing. Don't worry. He'll make sure J.J.'s in a tie and everything. I have my fingers crossed that Justin will be around to lay down that sweet Justin logic that we've been missing these last few weeks.

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