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7th Annual Golden Donuts: The Best of DAYS 2013
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With one scene, Eric and Nicole were able to take the heat away from E.J. and Abigail and talk me off the DAYS ledge. Find out more in this week's Two Scoops.

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A week ago I was knee-deep in a bag of sea-salt caramel chocolate, trying to forget the horror of Smith Island. (We'll get to that later.) I almost didn't want to tune in to the show. But then the soap gods gave me a gift that nothing -- not even the shock of Ejabby -- could ruin.

It took a lot of fumbling and bumbling from Dr. Chyka, who definitely lacks the charm of Dr. Rolf or Burt. But Nicole and Eric ended up in the basement of Daniel's building, tied to the same pole. Awww!! Such a great first date for them!! (Seriously, I told you nothing could ruin this for me.)

And everything was soap opera perfect. Of course Nicole was clad in nothing but a blanket. Of course Eric was able to wrangle his wrists free once to save Nicole's life. Of course the heat was so high that the two of them perfectly glistened with sweat and return of first, true love. Too much? You bet. But what else would we expect from soaps? It was wonderful.

They told each other that they wouldn't want to be tied to a pole with anyone else. She told him how much he saved her life, which he did. And then, finally, he told her that he couldn't risk dying without her hearing that he loves her.

You guys, it was the best! As a Nicole fan, it was so sweet to see her finally be someone's first choice. Brady picked Chloe over her. E.J. picked Sami over her. But Eric picked her over God. I mean, I guess in Eric's case, he can still technically have both of them, but you know what I mean. Finally, some dude stepped up to the plate for Nicole and picked her. Just her. And all was right with the world.

In fact, it even helped me look at the other storylines differently. Now that I've had some time and Merlot to think about Ejabby -- excuse me, Ejabigail -- I've come to the conclusion that this is a great storyline too. Let me explain.

Sure, the E.J. side of it is pretty weak. Falling crotch first into the first gal who throws herself at his ego is something that a less resourceful man does. When E.J. DiMera feels that he's being cheated out of something, he whips up some kind of DiMera black magic and bribes/schemes his way into getting what he wants.

But still, if Sami and E.J. can get past rape, kidnapping, and attempted murder, then a roll in the hay with a random chick shouldn't be the end of them.

And yes, Abigail is a random chick. Adrienne can talk all she wants about the handful of throwaway scenes they shared. These two aren't even in the same hemisphere as a tango on the pier or even a safe house in West Salem, if we're being real here.

Which is why this could be slamdunk amazing for my gal Abigail -- if they play it right.

Much as I adore the Lady Mansi, Abigail has had a self-righteous stick up her highly fashionable rear for a long time. That whack nonsense she gave Chad about not being a good enough person for her after he took actual bullets for another human being was enough to make me shoot her a serious side-eye.

Um, no honey. I adore you, but get over yourself. Let Julie carry the Horton Self-Righteous Banner for a while. She does it with the charm and panache that only Julie can. But you need to come back down to earth with the rest of us.

If this tryst with E.J. can do that, then I'm all for it. Sure, it smells a lot like what happened to Philip when the show suddenly realized that there was no one left in his age group so they reassigned him to one a decade away and had him marry Melanie. But if this preps Abigail for a relationship with an older guy...like Brady...then I will send E.J. a thank you basket of fish and chips.

However, for that to happen, I'm going to need Abigail to either A) Stop acting like an utter and complete whack-a-doo OR B) Dive head-first into whack-a-doo bliss

Let's explore option "A" first. To go that route, Abigail has to S.T.O.P. that petulant whining about how E.J. took advantage of her. That's an absolute pile of shull bit -- if you know what I mean. Abigail figuratively and literally flung herself at E.J. So while I know that moving in on an engaged fella isn't the most proper thing to do, I care more about Abigail owning her own decisions than I do about what those decisions are.

If option "B" is the way to go -- and let me tell you that it is -- then it's time to dust off the crazy Abigail of Abigail/Austin days and let Kate Mansi kill it once again.

Considering that she strong-armed E.J. into meeting her on Smith Island again, she's got a running start on this storyline. It's clear that E.J. slept with Abigail at least in part to protect Sami. Heck, Sami herself explaining the lengths to which E.J. will go to for his family was proof enough.

But Abigail's smart enough to realize that she can dangle the Nick carrot in front of E.J. anytime she wants, and he'll come running -- not because he wants to, but because if he doesn't, Abigail can whip out the Sami trump card and make the pain rain down on E.J.

Alas, when that does happen Abigail will long for the days when Carrie Brady would just slap her face and yell at her for stealing her man. Sami Brady will burn Abigail to the ground, and Abigail will totally deserve it. At least, crazy Abigail will. And I can't wait to watch it.

LOOSE ENDS Roman made his monthly appearance to let us all know that he's had to officially pull police resources off the Kristen hunt. That, coupled with Daniel's deleted files, means that Kristen is well on her way to being free to return to Salem and face no charges. Just putting that out there.

I'm so glad that Will didn't accept Sonny's proposal. Not only is Will way too young to be getting married, but I need to see Guy Wilson a little longer in the role before I'll be ready for the tremendously spectacular wedding that you know Sami is going to throw. Trash her all you want, but who else has more wedding planning experience in Salem than Sami?

The Kate/Jordan/Rafe/Lucas/Sheryl situation is shaping up rather nicely! I agree with @Tony_S_Days. Sheryl and Jordan's scenes showed the closeness that usually only applies to lovers or family members. That's a huge credit to Chrishell Stause and Jade Harlow. I just hope the writing matches their chemistry, meaning Jordan's secret better be good.

I'm much happier now that the feud is moving away from Rafe and more towards some new gal getting the best of Kate. Rafe and Kate were together for all of about five minutes. However, Kate and her pride have been together for as long as I can remember. Jordan threatening that makes much more sense than her taking away Kate's boy toy.

And as a nice side dish, we may get Lucas and Sheryl! Sheryl didn't run for the hills when she met Sami while Lucas brought Sami's daughter to see Sami's ex-husband. And for the first time in...well...ever, Kate doesn't seem to be vetting Sheryl as a potential mate for Lucas. Looks like these two have clearance for a boardroom/bedroom romance! Have at it, kids!

Maybe it's just my desperation for all things Danifer to go away, but I don't know that Theresa and Daniel would be all that bad. She's got a little bit of the Chelsea-Brady- rebel streak in her that Daniel fell for before.

But that's way down the line. Theresa's got some work to do now and she's maybe probably totally going to work it with Brady. He made it very clear that he wanted nothing to do with her, which is basically like second base for him. Since he always seems to hate women before he beds them, things are looking up for Theresa.

I didn't quite understand Marlena saying that Eric won't ever trust him again, since he just confessed his darkest secret to her. Then again, if Marlena was making any sense these days, she'd know that Nicole has put her life on the line for both of Marlena's boys and didn't deserve that mumbo-jumbo attachment disorder slam. Guess all that brain-scrambling Marlena suffered (hello, Salem Stalker!) is finally starting to catch up with her.

My working theory is that Nick is behind the camera, and he'll use the photos to blackmail E.J. into making Sami's life miserable. That is, unless Anne's broom can make it all the way out to Smith Island. She could be down for ruining a Deveraux.

Extra Scoops

HOT Nicole and Eric did their love story payoff scene with their hands literally tied behind their backs. You move, every other couple out there.

NOT I'm really going to need the ex-Mrs. Peter Blake to tone it down on the whole "those darn dirty DiMeras" noise. One, it's going to break Theo's heart when Jennifer informs him that Abigail is not to have anything to do with any DiMeras. Two, it's going to be super awkward when Jennifer learns that her precious little girl willingly acquired biblical knowledge of both DiMera bros. Three, Scoldy McDoe-eyes really isn't going to take it well that Abigail led the Bible study on each occasion.

LINE OF THE WEEK Eric (to Nicole): "It wouldn't be right if I were to leave this world without telling you...I just need to be honest to you, to myself, to God. I love you." Aww!!!! Everybody now! Er-i-cole! Er-i-cole!

Honorable mention: E.J.: "So then useless bloody Gabi didn't know what to do..." You're preaching to the choir here, Eeej.

RANDOM THOUGHTS Who would have ever thought there would come a day when Marlena and Maggie would both visit Nicole's office for help?

I get that Maggie is superwoman, but is it really the best idea to have the alcoholic checking on the stock of the mini-bar?

It's possible that Lucas could jump in to protect his niece Abigail from Sami. But after the way that the Hortons (including Abigail) jumped to Nick's defense and forgot all about Will, Lucas' level of Horton allegiance should be pretty low.

Sorry. I refuse to believe that Nicole doesn't own at least one fabulous robe.

Of course T is a three-exclamation point/winky smiley face type of guy.

"I swear to God" carries a lot more weight when Eric says it.

It's always a little startling to hear Kate gloat about Countess W having problems. It would be like hearing Carrie Bradshaw make a case for sensible shoes.

Rafe's "Could you be the one?" was super cheesy and kind of adorable.

Yay for Julie talking to Marie! My mom texted me and asked if Marie was coming back to provide Eric with counsel on leaving the church. A great idea, Mom!

I desperately want a tiger-paneled skirt like Kate had.

New Will. Same unfortunate vests.

And that's it for this glorious week in Salem! Better enjoy it now, kids. Sami made Kate promise that nothing bad will happen at Arianna's christening, which pretty much guarantees that the whole thing is doing to hell in a designer handbasket. Luckily, Tony will be back to help us all through it. Until then, get your Dankies votes in for the best of DAYS 2013!

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