The homecoming dance

He may be sore about it now, but going back to his roots is the best thing to happen to E.J. since Sami. Should more DiMeras join him? And what other kids should head home too? Find out in this week's Two Scoops.

Thanks to some new employment opportunities, the manfriend and I are moving closer to our families. We're pretty pumped. And, yes, that loud shriek of joy you heard was from my mother and mother-in-law. (In their defense, we are pretty spectacular.)

So that means that for a few weeks in between house sales and new leases, I'll be shacking up with my fabulous little sister. One, she loves DAYS. Two, she loves wine. Three, we will be combining one and two a lot. I couldn't be happier.

But it got me thinking about how much movement and rearranging is going on in Salem. Who, like me, is thrilled to be making the change? Who would rather live in a box on the pier? Let's discuss!

Let's start with the top reunion -- Team DiMera! Sure, I still think it a little rich to hear Stefano drone on about loyalty when he dropped E.J. like a hot potato when E.J. appeared to be DNA deficient. But, I do adore the idea of all of the DiMeras coming back under one roof!

Chad and E.J. are splendid together as brothers. No, I'm not mad at E.J. at all for pulling a fast one on Chad and strong-arming him into moving into the mansion. In addition to getting me one step closer to my beloved Chad and Johnny scenes, that move made the whole Chad-lies-to-Cameron-about-the-brain-tumor thing worth my time. Double score!

Quick headcount of the mansion residents -- Stefano, Kristen, Brady, Sami, E.J., Johnny, Sydney, Allie (part-time), and Chad. Please, please, soap overlords. Someone out of this bunch must throw a Halloween party this year at the mansion! Oh! A double DiMera Halloween wedding at the mansion! Yes, please!

Also coming home was Will...to find Gabi making out with Nick on the couch! I clapped when Will blew up at these two creatures. He needs to lawyer up (or Sami-up -- at this point I don't care), make Gabi sign an agreement, and tell Nick to kick rocks.

I don't read spoilers. But Nick is totally going to kidnap Gabi and Ari, right? He's probably going to make her think that some firm in Somewhere Else, USA, wants to hire her for a modeling gig and then convince her that he can go along to help with Ari. Then poof! the job will be in a locked dungeon. Again, that's just my working theory, but I would so love it for that to happen. I think that a few months alone with Gabi's logic may be just the punishment that Nick has coming to him.

I got a kick out of Gabi's complete delusional narcissism. She told Nick that Sonny threw the "Melanie thing" in her face, when it was actually Gabi who brought it up by butting into a private conversation and grandstanding about that mean ol' Chad ruining her wedding. Then she told Sonny that he needs to respect her more, because I guess free room and childcare are insults to a new mother.

I just really want to live in Gabi's world. I'd go up to my bank and chastise them for the lack of funds in my shoe budget and then go home and tell off my oven for not having dinner ready. Think of the possibilities if only I were Gabi! In happier homecoming news, I smiled when Chloe showed her beautiful face. What can I say? I have a soft spot in my heart for Ghoul Girl. I wouldn't mind seeing Phillip, Shawn, and Belle back in town with Chloe again. The show is really lacking in that late 20s/early30s age range. Nick is holding up that demographic by himself these days.

Anyway, the sad news was that her return seemed to be for the sole reason of pimping Danifer. Good gravy, this cause needs to be put to rest! I'm talking right away if not sooner.

As far as soap characters go, Daniel is a fairly decent dude. He's a doctor who saves people's lives. He's crazy about his kid and forgiving towards his baby mama. But -- and I hope someone out there in DAYS headquarters is paying attention -- he'd be about a million gazillion percent less annoying if the show would cut out all the commentary from the other characters about him. I don't need Abigail, Victor, Brady, Chloe, and Maggie singing his praises every single second.

Really, I can make up my own mind about characters. Check it out: based on last week's show, I would have come to the conclusion that Jennifer is a crazy person. Well, maybe not completely crazy. She had the good sense to change out of that blue dress. And she showed so much promise when she gave J.J. some tough love and fired Theresa for embezzling money from the hospital. But then she went and blamed Daniel for the run-in with J.J. I could have sworn at one point Jennifer made her living investigating things to uncover the truth.

One character who isn't coming home right now is J.J. Again, Casey Moss continues to impress. But J.J. is a hot honey-peppered mess right now. I have to keep reminding myself that I'm supposed to believe that J.J.'s grief made him sell drugs and hate Daniel. But the funny thing about grief is that it just isn't that specific. It shows up in a lot of unexpected places. You can't dictate what aspects of your life it touches. Yet, J.J. seems to have that power and that's where I'm starting to disconnect with this storyline. His crusade against Daniel made J.J. homeless, yet J.J. seemed hell-bent on carrying it through.

Perhaps the only character more adamant to stay away from home than J.J. was Theresa. She made the rounds about Salem, looking for anyone she could guilt/beg/bribe into giving her a second chance. (Actually, I have a feeling that it's probably more like her millionth chance.) Alas, no one was willing. That is, until she got to Anne, who apparently has the power to just hand out jobs at Salem U Hospital. Perfect. If there's one thing Theresa's been missing, it's a mentor who can teach her how to hold ridiculous grudges and develop a bloated sense of power. Thank goodness for small miracles, huh?

LOOSE ENDS I'm a little torn with the Wilson fight. On one hand, there aren't too many 20-something club owners who would give up the single life to take care of their boyfriend, his ex, and his daughter with said ex. But then again, Will told Sonny about the kid, the shooting, and Sami's role in covering up said shooting, and Sonny still chose to be with Will. In light of that later point, Will does have some pretty solid ground to stand on when lecturing Sonny about being honest. So, yeah, Sonny does need to cough up the truth with a side of apology. After that, Will should forgive Sonny very quickly.

Not that I ever want to be one to criticize Ms. Thang (I value my freedom too much for that), but last week made me start to suspect that Kristen is perhaps a bit jealous of Nicole. Think about it. Nicole has royally messed up, but somehow seems to garner forgiveness from the better part of Salem. In addition to Brady, Daniel, Rafe, and Eric practically moving mountains to bring her salvation, Jen went and invited Lady Martini to book club! Oh, sure, Marlena and Victor still don't like Nicole, but they hardly represent the general Salem population. Those two rarely like anyone.

I'm very worried about Kate. Ever since splitting with Stefano, she's lost her edge. First she started sleeping with Rafe after what he did to Austin. And last week she basically defended Nick to Will! It used to be that you couldn't mess with Kate's babies and get away with it. Now, she practically hands you a gift basket. Hmm... If you've ever had a wish for some hand-me-down velvet suits, now may be the time to make your move, Sami!

I loved Cameron asking Gabi out on a date! Cameron may be boring, but he's a stellar dude. And unless Gabi is going to be fully realized as a villain, I'm going to need her to make a go of it with Cam. In fact, letting Cam be the hero and rescue her from Nick may actually make Dr. Davis a bit more exciting too! Also, good for Sonny for finding a creative solution to his problem. Gabi's way less likely to blackmail Sonny about sleeping with Nick if, you know, she's not sleeping with Nick anymore.

Nicole got offered a new job as a TV reporter. I think E.J. summed it up best when he said that she's stopped being herself. If this job will help Nicole ditch the judgmental side, I'm all for it.

Last week caught Eric in a standard parent/kid predicament. How do you tell your mom that you're having visions of having sex with a woman when a) you're a priest and b) you're not sure if you're confusing dreams with reality? Classic family conundrum! I forget; how did the Waltons handle this one?

Summer of Sinners Just in case you missed any of the installments (and I'm not judging you if you did), you can catch all of the Top 10 lists here:

• Hunky Henchmen and Other Dodgy DAYS Guest Star Baddies • Wicked Hot Witches and Short-Lived Villainesses • Biggest Problem Children • Schemers We Love • Most Sinister Sinners

HOT Chad may not be as smooth as his siblings when it comes to romance, but he hit a homerun last week. I'm not talking about getting Abigail an early copy of Jack's book. I'm not even talking about including rave reviews from the media -- though, both of those were well done. But the best thing Chad did was actually read the book. I guarantee that meant more to Abigail than anything else. Well done, Chadsworth! NOT I've overlooked a lot of Brady's stupidity in recent months, mainly because I believe that Kristen is that good and can fool a lot of people. However, he's going to need a huge shovel to get out of the hole he dug himself with Nicole. I wasn't too keen on him dishing out relationship advice. But I really didn't like him speaking for Eric. Brady has no idea what Eric does or doesn't need from Nicole.

LINE OF THE WEEK Victor (to Kristen): "Okay you caught us. Nicole is deep into the Obama birth certificate thing. We're thinking about going to Kenya to investigate."

RANDOM THOUGHTS I liked the picture on Jen's desk of Jen, J.J., and Abigail. It was such a nice departure from the glamour shot poses that we too often see framed around Salem. Good job, set peeps!

I couldn't help but notice that Sonny let it slip to E.J. that he and Will were feeling a little crowded in their apartment. Could the trio be moving to the mansion too?

I like the paint job on the top dresser drawer in Daniel's apartment. Speaking of, I wonder if Daniel is still subleasing that place from Sami.

Seeing Eric in that white shirt and jeans wasn't the worst thing to happen to me all week.

I have serious hair envy. Kate Mansi's mane is fab!

I thought that Jack was writing a book about John. Maybe he'll pull a Tupac and release more posthumously! Or, maybe the fact that his book went to print a year after he died is proof that Jack actually is alive somewhere and editing manuscript drafts. Hmm....

Daniel's excitement when he heard that Mel was in for a visit matched my own. Love that gal!

Let me get this straight, Anne left work to come to Jen's house to make a point about Jen leaving work. That's kind of like Garfield lecturing Tom for eating too much pasta.

Psst! Bev! When a guy constantly brings his best friend along on your dates, he's probably not that into you. Just FYI.

Is it too much to hope for that this "whole family" Stefano wants living in the mansion could include Sonja and Steven too? In semi-related news, I know a certain Horton chap who's overdue for a proper love story.

The other day, my mother posed a very good question to me. Does Kristen have two copies of the video -- one edited and one not? Discuss.

That's it for this week! Tony will be back for the next two weeks to go through the rest of Pre-Cana with Kristen and Brady. I told him that he shouldn't tag along, but he insisted that there would be a wine tasting at some point. He's usually right about those things, so I didn't argue with him.

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