Dude, where's my book club?

It was a high time in sleepy little Salem when Jennifer, Julie, Adrienne, Kayla, Nicole, and their uninvited guest Mary Juanna got together for book club! Plus, Sami's struggles in jail continued as Kristen grappled with a huge surprise that only a stork can bring. Is Salem's biggest sinner carrying the town saint's baby?

The ancient Greeks would have been proud of the writers last week! They blended comedy and tragedy rather perfectly. I mean, I was totally amused. I laughed. I cried. I even sat at the edge of my seat for a second. Yep, nice job, writers.

On the contrary, Nancy Reagan would have been rather disappointed, especially in J.J. Yet, I'm not. Okay, okay. Before I go on, I feel like I should turn to the audience and make a special disclaimer like they would on a very special episode of an '80s sitcom. I don't condone children -- and yes, I consider J.J. a child -- using, selling, or manufacturing drugs. Or, well, baking them into donuts.

With that said, the book club meeting was highlarious! I mean it -- pass me the pickles, peanut butter, and wine. I'm in! I knew all of the actresses involved had comedic flair, but I was pleasantly surprised by how they carried an entire episode, carrying on as such. I wouldn't suggest any of the characters becoming lifelong stoners, but if that type of mix-up happens again, I probably wouldn't mind. In fact, if J.J. and Bev don't want to join the club, I know Laurisa and I will take their seats so we can have front row access should some donuts be swapped again. We just might have to fight Sanjay Gupta and Miley Cyrus for the spots, but I digress.

Of course, there was a crime committed. J.J. is still up to his old tricks. I'd like to think him finding a policeman on his front porch then walking into a group of cackling loved ones would be enough to scare him on the straight and narrow, but something tells me he's not going to just say no. Eh, well, at least he called them cabs. That was responsible, right?

On the tragedy side of things, Theresa is going to be bummed she didn't go to book club. She could have gotten high for free instead of paying some shady guy in the park. Truth be told, I didn't miss her there. At all.

It also seems like Stefano isn't missing things, even though he's been dethroned. He intercepted E.J.'s trick to save Sami. I love that this storyline is intertwining so many characters and other storylines. It's keeping it exciting. Then again, when aren't James Scott and Joseph Mascolo excellent sparring partners?

I'm also a sucker for Sami and Kate, especially when they're sort of playing nice. Alison Sweeney and Lauren Koslow have absolutely mastered the uneasiness between Sami and Kate in those types of scenes. Love. It! And I also loved -- in a cringe-worthy way -- the moment they realized what Stefano was planning to do to Rafe. Well, more specifically, Rafe Jr. True, I was kind of rolling my eyes at Kate's insistence that Stefano was giving his word, but I guess the former Mrs. DiMera was right. There's that.

The soon-to-be Mrs. E.J. DiMera continued to serve time. I still enjoy this storyline. It hasn't disappointed yet. And I don't think it will. We're gearing up for big court scenes, and I hope we get to witness all sorts of juicy testimonies. When they have them, DAYS does big scenes right. So, let's hope we get to see this play out, and not just Sami standing around a sign that reads "Court Room." If you don't get that now, you will after reading my "Not" this week!

LOOSE ENDS: While I'm on the lines of "Not" this week, let's gab about Hope's conversation with InvisiBo. I'm glad the writers are keeping him in the loop, but I'm rather disappointed in the lack of explanation as to where he's been and where he's going. It was said that Bo is going undercover and will be out of touch for a while. Great. This should end well for Hope -- and fans.

Another rant! If Salem's best friend to all, Saint Marge Bernardi, was as connected to everyone that has to do with the law enforcement/legal system as we're supposed to believe, wouldn't she have known about Lexie's passing? I'm sure Super Cop Joe would have served under Abe at one point or another. You'd think, right? And I'm beginning to think the show killed off the wrong Bernardi. The one we're left with is kind of annoying.

But to show I'm not a total jerk, I can appreciate Marge's reactions to the situation she's faced with. She didn't (or did she? Hmm!) know her husband was corrupt. Because of that, I can see why she's sad, angry, and frustrated. Yet seeing a little less of that probably wouldn't be a bad thing. Just saying.

Oh, Young William had another hissy about Brent. I think this stems from a little insecurity. By "a little," I mean a lot. I can't help but think it reminds me a bit of Sami's insecurities about men at that age. If history does actually repeat itself, Lord, help those who stand in the way of Will and his mister.

Speaking of the Lord helping people, I may need some divine help to keep me awake during Cameron's scenes. I don't mind him with Gabi, per se, but he's sort of a blah character. I'm still trying to figure him out. Is he really a good guy? Is he shady? Or is what we're seeing all we're going to get? If the latter is true, just wake me next time he takes his shirt off, and we'll call it a day.

Finally, we might just have another miracle pregnancy on our hands! Kristen believes she has a Brady bun in the oven. And by "Brady bun," I'm either talking about Eric Brady, or Brady Black. Kristen believes it probably couldn't be Brady's baby. I believe she needs to remember all the times they've slept together. I mean, all the times, because, let's face it, if Brady and Kristen weren't fighting, they were, um, well, you know.

So, I'm not going to harp on the "it was said that she could never get pregnant" thingy, as those types of statements are about as solid as a death certificate in Salem, but I will harp on the fact that Brady and Kristen usually make rabbits pause and say, "Enough already." So, there's still a boatload of Who's Your Daddy fun left for Brady. His recovering cokehead sperm may not be as perfect as Eric's saintly ones, but I suspect if Kristen really is pregnant, Brady -- and his sperm -- shouldn't be counted out. Well, in any event. Whoopsy, Kristen -- surprise!

SUMMER OF SINNERS Before the next DAYS Two Scoops' Summer of Sinners blog drops, be sure to check out the latest edition, "Wicked Hot Witches and Short-Lived Villainesses!," by simply clicking here!

HOT Ladies, ladies, ladies! You were all hysterically fabulous! I tip my hat to Melissa, Susan, Mary Beth, Judie, and Arianne. More, please!

NOT Whereas I appreciate the hot shirtless guy telling Nicole about the memorial, and the fact the town even had one, there's one thing I needed from that day. You want to know what that little, teensy, bitty thingy I needed was? A freakin' memorial! Seeing Jennifer, Abigail, and J.J. stand around a sign while Adrienne and Sonny were off-screen somewhere hardly made for memories. At all. Then again, Jack was no Joe Bernardi. I mean, Joe certainly deserved an on-screen memorial with heartfelt eulogies. He was on the show for a total of, like, ten minutes, after all. And, besides, Kate Mansi probably would have been terrible delivering a monologue about how Jack saved Abigail from dying. Ugh. Simply ugh. The writers really should spare us all and never bring up Jack again, because it's pretty apparent they don't know what to do with him (dead, or alive). I thrice repeat, "Ugh!"

LINE OF THE WEEK High Jennifer: "You're a policeman, and we have donuts!"

Honorable Mention High Julie (to Hope on the phone): "...and Kayla would like some tacos!" High Jennifer (to the policeman): "Thank you, first responder!"

EXCHANGE OF THE WEEK High Nicole: "Where's the little girl's room?" High Jennifer: "It's in the same place it was when you lived here." High Nicole: "Okay! At least you didn't change that, too. Try to confuse me!"

RANDOM THOUGHTS Welcome to Salem, Chrishell Stause! I'm eager to see what your amazing self will do with the role of Jordan!

I think I like Bev a little more than J.J. sometimes, and I hardly know her.

Aw! I loved seeing Alice's kitchen again. Warm and fuzzy memories? Check!

Hearing Hope say that a book club is not the same as a girl's night out makes me think that Hope knows how to party. I think I'm inviting her to the next happy hour!

Why did Jen wait until the last minute to make the donuts?

If Cameron needs money, he could just market himself as a sleep aide and talk to people until they're snoring.

E.J. and Rafe working together seemed like a good idea. For a minute.

Brent, Will, Sonny, and Chad on-screen at the same time is a lot of hot.

I remember Madison, too. I think her interesting factor is being slightly exaggerated.

Why I love Kristen Example 5,657: Kristen can be, shall we say, a little mean, mean, mean sometimes, but I enjoy when we get to see her softer side, too. So much of her backstory can be forgotten by the horrendous crimes she perpetrated. So, seeing her with that little orphan girl brought back a lot of her history, and a smidge of humanity, with emphasis on the "smidge."

PARTING THOUGHTS So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's Two Scoops for the week of August 19. I'm heading off to enjoy some brownies J.J. and Rory dropped off for me, so Laurisa will be back Monday for all your Two Scooping needs. She might be a little late though. After only one bite of these brownies, I kind of want a taco, and she's picking some up. And, "That's a fact!"

As always, thanks for reading! Tony

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