It's a hard knock life

It was a hard knock life in Salem last week. While Sami stewed in the slammer, several of her loved ones worked hard to save her future. Chad, on the other hand, might not have one! And breaking casting news has your faithful Two Scooper in a slump. Put on 'dem blues and read all about it in this week's Two Scoops!

Good one, everyone. I mean, really. Everyone is hysterical. I read it. I read this article. I'm not sure how many people were involved, but you all got me. Ha. Ha. I'm impressed -- the articles, Tweets, message board posts, and interviews all looked authentic. But I know you guys are just messing with me.

Okay, I'll fully admit I might be in denial. By "might be," I totally mean I am. For the next few months, I'll be 100% pretending that Eileen's not leaving DAYS again. So I'll just say this -- it's been an amazing privilege to have her back, and I wish her nothing but the best. Oh, and a speedy return to Salem. That, too. Then again, you guys are joking with me, amIright?!

Also not funny is what Chad is going through. It appears he could have a brain tumor, like Lexie. I've seen Soap Dish. Maybe he has Kopfgeschlagen, and he simply needs a brain transplant. I'd vote for Gabi to give up hers, but, well, you see the obvious flaw in that plan. Perhaps Adrienne could give up hers. She's not using it lately.

Anyway, so Chad may or may not have a tumor, which comes at an incredibly inconvenient time because he has never been so adorably swoon-worthy. I don't know what Abigail's hesitation is. She needs to drop the dull doc and head full speed ahead to Tall Drink of Waterville. If she doesn't want to take that journey, I'll be auctioning Chad off on eBay.

More so, I'm rather peeved at whoever decided wasting Casey Deidrick's talents was a good idea. Chad's been peppered into storylines the past year or so. Chad's more than a spicy seasoning sprinkled on from time to time. He should have had his own storyline a long time ago. Then again, I'm probably wrong. What would one do with Stefano's youngest son whose best friend is a Horton and business partner is a Kiriakis? Nope. I got nothing.

Fortunately, Kayla does have something and shared a juicy tidbit last week. That is, Joe Bernardi probably shouldn't have died from his gunshot wound. It appears he was poisoned while in recovery. Considering Stefano is the one who brought poison specialist, Dr. Chaka, to Salem, and seems to have a lightning-fast informant at the hospital, I'm placing bets that he is behind this. Because, really, like Chad, I do believe Stefano said he didn't kill Joe, but that doesn't mean he didn't send someone else to do it for him.

In the meantime, I love all the drama surrounding Sami's case. EJami has never been so amazing, and Justin is on board and ready to rock. In fact, he's on board with a stern attitude and something to prove. Thankfully, Hope, Kayla, and even Kate are on the Sami's Not Guilty Bus, too. Yep, I'm totally digging this storyline right now. You know, sans Adrienne being a major tool.

LOOSE ENDS: I'm with Maggie and Vargas. Nick's past isn't that great. He needs help. Conversely, Marlena needs more to do. Hey, wait a minute! She's a shrink, and he's a psychopath. Whatever could be done with this scenario, dear writers?

I'm surprisingly on board with Cameron and Gabi getting together. Neither of them will win a personality contest, but they do look pretty together. There's that.

I'm not entirely sure that Brent is needed at the moment. The character is only causing more drama in Will and Sonny's lives. I'm pretty sure the teenage parents, Will's mother being in jail because Sonny's mom put her there, and their lingering secrets thingies have that covered. Because of that, I'm can't really fault Will for being annoyed by his presence.

Score some gentlemanly points for Will! He was a lot nicer to Adrienne than I would have been. Granted, Sonny got the yelling at her part down pat. It's uncomfortable to see Sonny and Adrienne fighting, but Freddie Smith and Judi Evans have great mother/son sparring chemistry. Cheers to that!

Um, yes, please! A Stefano and Kate scene is exactly what I needed to perk me up last week. Oh, oh! And there are few things more hysterical than when Alison Sweeney and Bryan Dattilo share a scene, too. Hooray for old crowd-pleasing standbys. More, please!

I'm rather enjoying Dr. Dan and Eric working together. More so, it seems like all the characters are mixed up in interesting pairings right now, and I love that! Well, most of it. I'm still not sure why Kate is so gaga over Rafe. I guess she got too close to Stefano's brain erase scanner when she lived at the mansion.

I know I'm in the minority here, but I still think Anne is kind of hysterical. Okay, maybe I should say Meredith Scott Lynn is hysterical as Anne. I'm still not sure why the character is such a surly bitch, but they all can't be winners like Rafe. So, she's good for a chuckle. I'll take that. Just be warned, Anne, my free pass will be revoked if you mess with my Maxine again. You're on notice. I actually like that Adrienne went to speak with Jennifer but cried on Abigail's shoulder instead. These two have had a long-lasting bond. I'm pretty sure Abigail even lived with them for a while. So, okay. Sure. Why not? Cry away, NuAdrienne. I love Kimberly and Shane, so I'm really trying to find something likeable about Jeannie-T. I don't feel so bad, though. Most of her aunts seem to think she's ridiculous, too.

Let's face it. Nicole could have torn apart J.J. with one hand. I think she took it easy on the lad, but I'm okay with that. For one, he's doing a good enough job destroying himself. And, two, little spats keep Nicole's claws nice and sharp, and something tells me she'll need them for next week!

SUMMER OF SINNERS Don't be the last kid on the cyber block to partake in DAYS Two Scoop's Summer of Sinners! For the latest edition, "Wicked Hot Witches and Short-Lived Villainesses!," click here!

HOT Yes, yes, and yes! I love that Kayla is getting to be front and center right now. Mary Beth Evans kind of lights up the screen a bit. It's refreshing to see her have more than a few passing lines or act as a Dannifer cheerleader. Let's keep this up, dear writers!

NOT I'll give Rafe a big old pat on the back for defending Will. That was swell. But just like Nicole spouting off about Sami getting away with murder, I have a hard time listening to Rafe scold anyone (even Nick) about how horrible it is to keep a child away from his father. Methinks Rafe's just a little miffed that Nick stole his shtick. You know, since Rafe has done the same thing to E.J. Oh, twice. Then again, I'm forgetting two important things. One, Rafe is always right. And, two, it's not a crime if you do something to a DiMera. Whoops. My bad. You're ever so right, Raffers.

LINE OF THE WEEK Justin (to E.J.): "The Greeks didn't invent revenge, but we made it into an art form." Oh, dear, Justin! Victor would be so proud.

Honorable Mention E.J. (to Sami): "That's my girl. Get your Irish up!"

RANDOM THOUGHTS Aw, I loved the video of the kids that E.J. played for Sami. Johnny, What's Her Name, and Who's Her Face are totally adorable.

Chad cracked me up when he said that he was Stefano's youngest son...that he knows of!

Boom! I loved how Dr. Dan totally blew Jeannie-T's advances out of the water.

I'd like to check out this DiMera compound in Marco. I mean, if the private jet is fueled up and all, why waste it?

With a daughter like Brenda, you'd think Judge Jim Walsh would be able to handle a rowdy courtroom.

I loved Hope's retro-ish top.

Smoking in a hospital is a totally great idea, Jeannie-T. Where's a wonky elevator when you need one?

Why I love Kristen Example 5,656: Girl isn't afraid to get ugly when it comes to getting what she wants. That costume wasn't exactly Susan Banks, but it was good for a laugh. I'd say a cross between Susan Banks and Bonnie Lockhart.

PARTING THOUGHTS So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's Two Scoops for the week of August 5. I'm off to the DiMera compound for some rest, relaxation, and non-extraditing fun. Laurisa will be back to helm the wheel on Monday. You've been warned. And, "That's a fact!"

As always, thanks for reading! Tony

Need more Two Scoops? Head over to read blogs by Laurisa or Tony for more ranting, raving, and all-out randomness

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