Angels and demons...okay, mostly demons

Will, Sami, and E.J. begin their deal with the devil. Chloe reserves her table in hell. And we all cheered on a ghost from Nick's past. Find out what else wicked this way comes in this week's Two Scoops.

Everyone has demons, those secrets that we pray don't come out at the wrong time. But as we set the table for May Sweeps, some of our Salemites found their demons marching out in full display. I can't say I mind that they're out, though I wish those demons had a bit of pep in their step. (A full week to break up!? Really?) Let's take a look at what happened.

NICOLE First Sami was a complete jerk to Nicole. Then Nicole got up on her high horse about how Sami has no place to judge, but by doing so was judging Sami and....ack! I don't know. It's all one vicious headache cycle for me. The whole point of it was for Vargas to overhear it and then get more info on Nicole. I wish they hadn't used Sami to do so, as information about Nicole's shady past can be found pretty much anywhere in Salem. Say, for example, Nick, who knew that Nicole was married to E.J. even though both Ejole marriages happened while Nick was in prison.

Obviously, Nicole and Vargas are headed for something together. I'm not sure what, but adding Nicole to another storyline is rarely a bad idea. And she does contribute an interesting wrinkle to the Nick/Vargas thing since I'm pretty sure that Nicole would be all for Team Nick, since the he killed her abusive first husband. That is, until she found out that Nick hurt Eric's nephew. Then all bets are off.

VARGAS and NICK I appreciate the creepy crocodile/Captain Hook thing that the show is trying to do with Vargas and Nicky. But I've been suffering with Nick's arrogance for too long to be in the mood for subtle. I don't even want to include a sentence in this column explaining that apparently Nick made Vargas some money in jail and now Vargas wants more. I want to include a sentence that says how Vargas grabbed Nick and locked him in Jan Spear's cage.

WILL and E.J. I'm always happy to see the show revisit the Will/E.J. friendship, and this was great timing. Will desperately needs to remember his fighting spirit, and meeting with E.J. wasn't a bad place to start. I love that Will told E.J. the truth about Nick's homophobic motivation, making E.J. the only other person besides Sonny to know the real story. Considering all of the unnecessary grief that Sami is putting herself through, E.J. will be extra motivated to help Will take Nick down now.

On that note, I can certainly appreciate Will's apprehension to let his mom know about this...at first. But, eventually Will needs to be the one who tells Sami the truth and also apologize to her for the excess of blame he put on her in the first place. She shouldn't have to pay for Nick's homophobia.

STEFANO, KATE, and RAFE Stefano and Rafe finally came face-to-smirk over Kate. Oh sure, Stefano didn't come right out and say it, but Stefano knows. Stefano knows everything, which is why I'm really hoping that Stefano squashes Rafe like a bug.

Let me back up a week. I'd been on the fence about Rafe and Kate. But then Rafe joked with Kate to get on her knees and apologize to him. To my horror of all horrors, she actually did it. And that was it. The show degraded Sami's character so that she would fit with Rafe, and now they're doing it to my Katie.

And like with Sami, it's unnecessary, since Kate sparks with pretty much anyone else. For example, Stefano and Kate generated more interest in their short scene that I've seen from Rafe and Kate in weeks. Watching the two of them threaten each other -- both so proud yet not above doing anything to get what they want -- trumps watching pretty people kiss. So, again I cheer, "Git 'im, Steffie! Git 'im!"

JENNIFER, DANIEL, CHLOE, and NANCY Everybody take a drink! Daniel and Jennifer broke up again. And it was public this time. I believe Anne even captured the whole thing on her iPad and will be screening it in the town square.

Good news first. All three actors are selling their parts in this storyline, especially Nadia Bjorlin who is surprisingly delicious as a villain. But storyline-wise, this shiz is maddening.

Chloe is a certifiable nut job who makes Medea look like a realistic cautionary tale. Let's say that Daniel and Chloe do end up together. What if he puts one sugar in her coffee instead of two? Is she going to chop off Parker's ear to teach Daniel a lesson?

Okay, I know that seeing Jennifer wiggle around like a dying worm on Chloe's soapy little hook did a certain fan base out there a lot of good. But in a completely honest moment, we all know that Chloe is the evil one here. She flat-out told Anne that she'd stay in Brazil for the rest of her life if it would make Daniel hate Jennifer. Way to be a good mother, Chloemeister!

Like my partner, Tony, I'm also not thrilled with Nancy for going along with this scheme. I like Nancy's determination to go to battle for Chloe. But Nancy knows the pain of being forcibly separated from your child.

Jennifer isn't getting off easy in this whole scolding either! Quick reminder -- Victor managed to take Brady out of Chloe's bed in the middle of the night without her knowing what happened to him. There's nowhere Chloe could hide that Victor couldn't find her. Jennifer needs to tell Victor.

What? He's all the way across town? Well Kristen ever-lovin' DiMera just showed up and plopped down in your living room there, Jenny Bear! Can the fussbucket tears and do something to help yourself! Just like I said with Will a few weeks ago, I have a hard time rooting for characters that don't fight back.

CHAD, CAMERON, and ABIGAIL With proof that Cameron had been lying to them, Chad recruited Abigail to follow Cameron around town. Normally, I'm not into this kind of stuff (See: Terrible Anne), but since Cameron blew off Theo, I'm all for it.

So, Fred and Daphne kept after the mystery and finally discovered that....Cameron was a stripper. I kid you not -- I laughed out loud. The Cameron-as-a-stripper would get on my nerves if Nick and Chloe hadn't already taken up residence there. So it's actually funny now.

Not to mention, Chad's string of one-liners was entirely enjoyable, as was the playful chemistry between Casey Deidrick and Kate Mansi. And besides, I'll watch Cameron dress up as Rocky Horror every day if it means we never have to watch Abigail be embarrassed over being a virgin again.

Plus, a male stripper on the show must mean that we're going to see Kristen's bachelorette party, right?

MAGGIE Is there any chance that Maggie would like to follow Cameron around town too? I really need her out of the Chloe/Daniel/Jennifer storyline. Her individual relationships with both Jennifer and Daniel are wonderful. But it irritates me when she crossed those streams.

Also, if what Jennifer did to Daniel is unforgivable, I can't wait to see what adjective Maggie uses when she learns what Gabi did to Melanie or what Chloe did to Parker. Quick, someone invent words!

SONNY Really? The secret about Rafe and Kate is the one that Sonny felt guilty about keeping? He must have lost track of the fact that he knows that Gabi is a scheming criminal who left her last "friend" tied up in a basement with a mental patient. Sonny didn't seem too bright last week.

However, what he lacked in common sense, he made up for in compassion. Bonus gentlemen points for Sonny worrying that Nick may get hurt when Will goes to Stefano for help. Sonny doesn't owe Nick the time of day, yet he manages to be concerned for the guy. Impressive. Really, really impressive.

LUCAS and SAMI Anything that gets these two sharing a scene is good by me. And this scene needed to happen. Lucas did have a right to worry about his daughter living in the DiMera mansion. But considering that Sami was doing it for Lucas' son, I'm glad that Lucas backed off. I adore Sami and Lucas as friends. I want it to continue forever!

SY and KRISTEN Not to throw any shade at my beloved diva, but Sy kind of got the best of Kristen here. Yes, she threw a death threat at him. But it accompanied $5,000 in unmarked bills! That's pretty much the closest thing I've ever seen to a DiMera defeat. I suggest he take the win and run with it.

Also, I had to chuckle at the irony of Marlena having the key to putting her family back together literally in the palm of her hand, and yet her slightly superior attitude just got in her way. SAMI and E.J. I'll give Tomsell this -- they've done right by Sami. They took Rafe out of her orbit. They restored the awesome sidekick relationship with Lucas. And, they've given her a romantic lead who's finally her scheming and romantic equal.

I adored that Sami "made" dinner for E.J. (Don't think for a second that I'm not stealing her, "Well, I made it happen!" line.) I loved it even more that E.J. knew right away that Sami did something. Their romance, turned fighting, turned makeout scene reminded me of what would happen if Cheers's Sam and Diane moved to Dynasty. Love it all.

STEFANO The weird family meeting with Cecily was hilarious. Sami and E.J. were all smiles. Will called Stefano "Sir." It was all 1-800-TooObvious. And, Stefano's not that dumb. I could easily see Stefano being on a first name basis with the dude who owns the recording device store where Nick bought the pen. So watching the four of them dance will be entertaining.

And by the way, I need a little clarification on how DiMeras' debts work.

I thought that E.J. moving back into the mansion was going to be in return for Stefano helping Will. It seemed like a very even trade -- Stefano got his child back when Will got his. The fact that Johnny and Sydney would be part of the deal would only sweeten it for Stefano. So, I'm not sure why Sami would owe Stefano something more.

Second, didn't Kristen do all that stuff with Sami to earn E.J.'s trust so that Kristen could fulfill her promise to Stefano? E.J. didn't seek Kristen out with that request, so I'm not sure why E.J. owes Kristen anything either. Except, of course, for that amazing bachelorette party. If the guy can create Paris for Lexie, he can whip up Moulin Rouge for Kristen. Make it happen, Eej!

LOOSE ENDS: Yay for Sami and Brady having a friendly chat! But, for the record, Brady and Kristen's whirlwind "romance" turned knee-jerk proposal is hardly the same as Sami and E.J.'s years of romance, revenge, and heartache.

I've read a lot of feedback from people saying that Marlena should dump John. I agree that John was being a total dunce. But if roles were reversed, we'd be cheering the guy on who wouldn't give up on the bratty woman who's too hurt to fight for her marriage, no? It seemed that Bo went through this with Hope on a regular basis, right?

The idea of Sami spying for John had potential. But I really wished that Sami would clue John in on the Will mess. Brady is a grown man who made a decision. Will is a college kid who was blackmailed. Sami's parent trauma trumps John's by about a zillion points.

Rafe doesn't trust Nick, so Nick gets Agent Pompous Know-it-all. Looks like we finally found a use for Rafe's default behavior! I really do mean that as a compliment.

Eric should remember how sad he was at the idea of being transferred the next time he plans Easter service a week late.

Kristen brought John his ex-box, mocked his mullet (ha!), and declared that she finally knew the true meaning of love. I love that Kristen is one of us that consolidates a past relationship into a single box upon a breakup. Of course, mine were always beat-up shoe boxes, and hers is a fancy hand-carved DiMera Super Secret Box, but still, we're totally the same.

Kate confronting Nick was tremendous. And, lookie there! Remove Rafe from the situation, and Kate's back to her old self again! She was perfectly delicious when she hissed, "Do I look stupid?" And who didn't love it when Kate warned him that she can unearth his deepest, darkest secret?

NOT Please tell me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that Jennifer's breakup speech to Daniel about Jack, and Daniel's subsequent declaration that he'd never try to take Jack's place, were the speeches that Jack/ Jen fans wanted the instant Jack fell into that cake. So the fact that she's making it up now -- and make no mistake, Jennifer doesn't mean a word of it -- made me wonder if the writers knew all along what fans wanted to hear. It almost seems cruel to use the Jack excuse now.

LINE OF THE WEEK Kate: "You're always thinking, Chloe, to the extent that we can call it that."

EXCHANGE OF THE WEEK Kate (about her relationship with Rafe): "It's just imperative that no one knows." Will: "I wish I didn't know!" Me too, Will.

RANDOM THOUGHTS Anyone else think that Vargas sounds a bit like Owen Wilson?

Cecily worked the snot out of that smirk/side eye combo.

The promos with Alison Sweeney and James Scott for Ready for Love were all shades of awesome. Oh, and so was Jay Leno declaring his love for Sami!

Ha! Maxine called Chad "Slim."

Jen really needs to install a peephole in that front door.

Kristen rocked those leather pants. Wowza!

I really want to know where Abigail got that awesome giant green ring! I'd wear it with Maggie's fab silver nail polish color.

Marlena said that Sami's happiness was the most important thing. In other news, I'm 5'9" and wear a size 0.

Will's concern for Gabi as anything other than the human vessel carrying his baby is making him look like a slight chump. I know that he still thinks she's his friend, but she has yet to even tell Will what she named their baby. But, yeah, she totally wants him to be a part of the baby's life.

Of course Chad has a motorcycle.

IN THE NEWS If the speculation behind Jen Lilly coming to DAYS as Belle is true, I will be almost thrilled. Martha Madson would be my first choice as Belle. But, Ms. Lilly did a superb job over at GH with some very tough material and circumstances. And I certainly don't oppose good talent on my soap. Maybe a Cassie recast? Jeannie Donovan, perhaps?

Did you check out the All Soaps Dankies and support your favorite DAYS actors?

Get your parties planned, y'all! The Daytime Emmys will air on HNL this year on June 16!

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