Sex and the city

Salem got pretty steamy this Valentine's Day! While a nude Nick bared his, um, heart for Gabi on the East Side, Rafe and Kate got drunk downtown and then got down with each other. On the West Side, things heated up between Sami and E.J. Alas, neither Will nor Chad could stroll down Lover's Lane with their hearts' desires on Valentine's Day. This makes me wonder about Buddy Holly's lyrics. Is it so easy to fall in love?

Salem was a hotbed of activity this Valentine's Day, and I "hearted" it! A lovey-dovey E.J. and Sami were swoon-worthy. I got to celebrate it with Kristen for the first time since the late '90s! Victor and Maggie were in full-fledged amazing Magic mode. My only complaint is that I ate all the good chocolates out of the heart-shaped sampler and was left with the not-so-satisfying chews and crunchy ones by the end of Friday's episode. So, let's toss the wilting flowers, pick through the leftover candies, and discuss all the steamy shenanigans in Salem last week!

KATE and RAFE These two shacked up? Okay. Sure. I'm game. We'll chalk this up to "I'm glad Rafe isn't sniffing around Sami anymore" and leave it at that. Okay, okay. I'll elaborate.

For starters -- why not? They're both attractive and single. More so, it gives Rafe some more dimension. Maybe sleeping with one of the only other shady ladies in town who garner just as many dirty looks as Sami will bring him down a peg or two in everyone's eyes.

I'm sure Sami will go ballistic and not want to touch him again. E.J. will get a good laugh. Roman will have something to say about his super cop shagging his ex-wife. You know, if we see Roman again. Judgy Hope and hopeful Marlena will be a tad disappointed in his choice of bedmates. Oh, oh! I hope we get Carrie's reaction to hearing that Rafe slept with her mother-in-law. Plus, methinks Stefano will have issue with it. So, welcome, Rafe! Welcome to the Walk of Shame Club. Please see Brady Black for your welcome kit.

As for Kate, well, I guess if I knew nothing about Rafe and he was a mute, I would give her a high-five for bedding a hottie. But I know Rafe. His Rafeyness pretty much sends him spiraling down the Hottie Scale. So, sorry, Kate, you'll have to settle for a "girlfriend, you can do better." And there is part of me that also wishes that Kate had hooked up with Roman. His do-gooder to her schemer worked well in the past.

But I may be putting the cart before the horse. Maybe it was just a one-time thing (that will surely come back to haunt them, nevertheless). And ultimately, this tryst could lead to some interesting tidbits. I already liked the way Rafe and Kate tag-teamed Nick. Plus, even thickheaded Rafe isn't dumb enough to think Kate will change her wily ways for him. So, if he can accept her ways, and she lowers her standards, this could work out well for them. Mazel tov, horn dogs!

E.J. and SAMI I kind of feel like the writers gave us the gift of "EJami" this year for Valentine's Day! And unlike the Safe Sweater they gave us last year, this one's a perfect fit. It was warm and cozy, and brought a smile to my face. In fact, my nerves are settling a bit. It's been three weeks, and EJami seems just fine. I hope this trend keeps up, because their recent cuteness is starting to make up for the six-year ride we were on as we waited for them to get together. More, please!

Speaking of them getting together, Sami told Marlena about E.J. Dr. Evans tried the clinical approach to tell Sami she's making a mistake. Mama Mar Mar tried the direct approach. Safe Cheerleader Fun Barbie Marlena tried to advocate rekindling things with Rafe.

Whereas I can respect Marlena's concern, I'm not as convinced as I used to be that she gives the best advice. Then again, I'm sure she'd be more supportive if E.J. was married to one of Sami's sisters and Sami had feelings for him. Marlena doesn't seem to mind that scenario. Wait! Never mind. That only applies to if Carrie and/or Belle want what Sami has. Otherwise, Sami's making a mistake. Got it, Mar. My bad.

ERIC and NICOLE The last time these two outwardly expressed their feelings for one another, they were in their late teens/early twenties. With one smoking hot outfit, Nicole brought Eric right back to being a blushing, stuttering young buck. They haven't admitted to any feelings yet, but like Nicole's dress, they didn't leave much to the imagination. It's apparent they're both hot and bothered.

This leads me to admit that, even though the writing has been on the wall for these two ever since he used his angel wings to fly back into Salem, I'm finally onboard. The pace is slow, but it has to be. I'm okay with it now, especially after witnessing the smoldering chemistry between Greg Vaughan and Arianne Zucker. So, let's get Eric and Nicole some Rollerblades and a boardwalk, and get this party started!

BRADY and KRISTEN First, Drunk-But-Not-Drunk Kristen was hysterical! Eileen Davidson never ceases to amuse me. However, Kristen wasn't amused when she couldn't seal the deal with Brady. He's not budging. He doesn't want to get married.

In Brady's defense, I actually understand his why. He cited his track record with dead fiances as the reason. I'd go as far as to say his brain-dead ex-wife, Chloe, probably doesn't help, either, but I digress. I'm a firm believer that things come in threes. Therefore, I hope they don't get engaged. I don't want Kristen to die, but that's just me being selfish. I'd hate to stand in between a scorned schemer and her plans. That is, if Kristen's feelings don't get in the way of her plans first. Hmm!

NICK and GABI God golly. When Nick and Gabi act like a sane couple, they're palatable. Nick's Valentine's Day surprise was rather fun, too. However, the other 99 percent of the time, I'd rather drink spoiled milk than watch their idiotic interactions.

It actually gives me a headache that Gabi's so blind to his bizarre ways. I mean, dude was listening to a recording of Will when she walked in. Did Gabi think that he missed Will so much that Nick needed to hear his voice? Oh, that's right. He claimed it was some new software.

Um, okay, but why did Nick want software that sounded like Will? Gabi's far from the likes of Sami, Nicole, and Kate (or even dingbat Chloe for that matter) when it comes to scheming, but she managed to convince the entire town she was being stalked. That's not too shabby. Hence, she should be able to spot a fellow schemer in her own bed. Maybe I'm giving her too much credit.

But I will throw Gabi a bone. I saw a glimmer of the girl I once sort of didn't despise last week. I was glad that she was there for Will when he needed to talk about Sonny, but, more so, I was glad she called Nick out on him calling Sonny "the other gay boy." Above all, Gabi has supported Will coming out. It was getting a little questionable as to why she was letting Nick run rampant with the homophobic slurs. Gabi has a way to go before being likeable again, but I'll tip my hat for her sort-of effort to curb his hate speech. It's a start.

WILL, SONNY, and BRIAN I'm not sure who was a sadder sap last week -- Will or Chad. Let's start with Will. We'll talk about Chad in a minute.

Baby Daddy Willie got his hopes up and crushed due to an un-cancelled Valentine's Day gift from Sonny. Oh, that gift and seeing Sonny with stone cold fox, Brian. My heart kind of broke for him a little because Chandler Massey does "my puppy just died" looks so well. I'm sure as a kid, he pretty much got whatever he asked for.

As for Sonny, I feel sad for him, too. I know he and Will have talked, but I don't think they're communicating well. If they did, they probably would have been spending Valentine's Day together.

And sorry, Brian, but you're getting a little needy. No matter how blue those eyes are, no matter if you're pre-med, and have rower's arms from being on the crew team, talking about falling in love before the first real date is never a good thing. Like, never, ever a good idea. So, yeah, if it helps, I'll just head to Salem, distract Brian, and you guys get Will and Sonny back together. Deal?

ABIGAIL and CAMERON In case anyone would like to join, I'm starting a new club! It's going to be called the Steel Triangles. And by "Steel Triangles" I mean darts, as in I'm going to throw darts at the writers when they come up with silly ideas. I tried the cat/spray bottle approach, but that doesn't seem to thwart them from giving us gems like the Gold Circle Club.

Let me begin by saying I have absolutely no problem with Abigail being a virgin. I actually think it's commendable. I also think it's something that she should be totally proud of, but the writers are making her ashamed of it. I've seen Abigail's feistiness. Girlfriend isn't afraid to rally around things she believes in. Hence, I'm a little stumped at why she's acting like it's a deep, dark, dirty secret. If I were her, I'd be more embarrassed about the entire pretending to sleep with a drunk, passed-out married dude thingy, but that's just me.

CHLOE, DR. DAN, and JENNIFER I feel as bad for Parker and his fever as I do for myself watching this storyline. It's a little trying to watch Chloe think so little of herself that she feels the need to chase a man who's clearly stated he doesn't want to be with her. I didn't like it when Nicole did it with Dr. Dan, and I don't like it now. The Chlomiester might as well just go back to hooking, because at least then her wardrobe would make more sense. Anyway...

Chloe called out Jennifer for lying. They fought. Anne was extra cranky because she forgot to eat her morning prune Danish and was a little backed up. She fought with Jennifer. And then Dr. Dad and Jen had the obligatory fight about trust, but kept missing the mark while trying to apologize. I think there was something else, maybe about Chloe pranking Jennifer by having ten large pizzas delivered to the Horton house, but I kind of dozed off during those scenes. Whoops!

LOOSE ENDS: Poor Chad! I wanted to give him a big hug last week and offer him some chocolates. He looked so down. I'm glad Kristen was there to help. At this point, his biggest crimes have been pummeling Nick and interrupting the wedding of two idiots. I've wanted to punch Nick lately, too. All is forgiven, Chad Man! Now, if only there was a young lady in town for him to canoodle with. Someone like, say, Chelsea. Just putting that out there again... Oh, oh! Stefano said he's wrapping up business in Europe and may be heading back to Salem soon. Um, yes, please! It will be nice to see the Phoenix more often, but it will be even nicer to see him go after Rafe for bedding Kate. I mean, really, despite what he says to Kate, he's not going to like that...at all!

HOT As if I needed another reason to love Maggie, she goes and encourages Victor to spend some time on Valentine's Day with Caroline. That was as sweet as it was classy. Props to you, Big Red -- and props to Magic in general! They are pretty much the definition of a classy couple. Take notes, young Salemites in love -- this is how it should be done!

NOT I would have much rather seen Hope working that B&E than talking to Nick. Like, much, much more. What irks me the most is that I have to side with Gabi on this one over Hope. Gabi said to Nick, "Will's family is your family, too." Yes, yes, and yes! I've been screaming that for months. That means Gabi is riii.... Let me try this again. Gabi is rrrr. Damn. This is hard.

That means Gabi is right. Sorry, I'm not used to typing that out. So, Ms. Gabs, please let Hope and the full force of the Horton Army know that, too. And, sorry, Fancy Face, but this is strike two. Don't make me give you an Alex North Memorial Award, because I will.

LINE OF THE WEEK Nicole: "No more tacos after ten. It makes for crazy thinking."

RANDOM THOUGHTS The Chicago nightclub owners need to hire a lighting designer pronto. Instead of mood lighting, they had on sobering floodlights. Don't they know it's supposed to be dim and dark to make everyone look better while drinking and dancing? I mean, you're supposed to regret your choices the next day, not during.

Drunk-But-Not-Drunk Kristen sort of had twangs of Susan Banks in her voice!

Okay, tell me again why neither Chad nor Lucas has real storylines or love lives?

Hey, Allie! Bye, Allie! See you next month, and say hi to Pap-pap Roman for us.

Johnny leaving a dinosaur in the fridge to guard the apple treats is fantastic.

You'd think Jennifer would have a little elevator anxiety.

Nice call, Parker! Cherry juice is great, especially when replacing it with cranberry juice in a Cosmo. And you're welcome!

I mentioned this before, but daamn! Arianne Zucker looked all shades of amazing in her club wear.

Hope and Invisi-Bo's Valentine's Day was ber romantic! Oh. Wait...

Am I the only one who'd like to see what would happen if Ms. Abigail and Mr. T started to spend time together? To be clear, I meant T as in Will's friend, not A-Team Mr. T.

I would have enjoyed watching Victor and Melissa working together. I'd also love to see Melissa and Sarah meet their new brother, Dr. Dan!

I haven't heard "blue plate special" in, like, forever. What a throwback!

I want to move to Salem just to have a fancy, spacious shower! Will's was huge, and I remember Carly's being just as big.

Um, where exactly is Will living now? His place looked rather dorm-ish.

My Spidey Senses are tingling! Methinks Brady might be trying to play a player. Not sure yet, but hmm...

Mmm, peach cobbler!

When Eric asked Nicole if she was trying to get a rise out of him, my inner teenager just kind of snickered.

Why I love Kristen Example 5,643: When she's fake drunk, she talks to potted plants. I cracked up when she exclaimed, "Love my nature!" Yeah, the only time I talk to plants is when I'm fake drunk, too. By "fake," I mean for-real really hammered, but that's only happened -- let's say -- one time.

10 Super Post-Millennium Couples on DAYS! To celebrate Valentine's Day, Laurisa and I took to our blogs to swoon over some of our favorite post-Y2K supercouples! Take a stroll down lovers lane by clicking here for part one and here for part two. Be sure to leave a comment and gush about your favorite DAYS lovebirds!

PARTING THOUGHTS So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's Two Scoops for the week of February 18! To celebrate President's Day, I'm off to cover up my naughty parts with a Lincoln-esque stovetop hat and wait on the bed until my significant other walks in. Laurisa will be back next week to Scoop all the steaminess those wacky Salemites have been up to. And, "That's a fact!"

As always, thanks for reading! Tony

Need more Two Scoops? Head over to read blogs by Laurisa or Tony for more ranting, raving and all out randomness

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