What to expect when you're expecting

Nick and Gabi expected the perfect wedding day until Chad delivered a baby bombshell on the congregation. Plus, Marlena expected to one-up Kristen, but ended up going home broke, while Chloe struck Jennifer when she least expected it! Expect the unexpected in this week's Two Scoops.

Okay, okay, there were a lot of wrongs in Salem last week, DAYS fans, but let's discuss the biggest one first. What exactly was Sami wearing on Friday!? I'm pretty sure she took a time machine back to the '80s, beat up Joan Jett, and then stole her clothes. Not that leather and lace can't be appropriate, say, at a rock concert, or at most places in New Jersey*, but it was a little distracting for a heart-to-heart with one's son. Then again, I'm wearing that same outfit now, so perhaps I'm just a little jealous that Ali Sweeney looked so amazing it in. There's that. Anyway!

Since most people are talking about the biggie of big storylines right now, I should, too. That is, what is going on between Cameron and Emily? I'm so worried about them. When Abigail asked about her, and Cameron cringed like there was trouble in paradise, I got concerned. As an audience, we've invested far too much time in "Camily" to give them such a lackluster parting. Wait! Question. Who the hell is Emily? I don't think Cameron knows, either, so let's move on and discuss the rest of the show.

Let me start by exclaiming, "Go, DAYS!" That is how a juicy reveal is done. I loved every soapy minute of Chad standing up and blowing the lid off Salem's latest baby secret. Although, I'm a tad upset that Caroline didn't say something like, "Well, I did it with a little more flair." But I digress. Monday's show was a great way to start the week. So, let's break down all the breakdowns at Nick and Gabi's would-be wedding and discuss what the rest of those whacky Salemites were up to, too!

NICK and GABI'S SORTA-WEDDING (Part 1) First things first! There were so many things that made me crack up during Nick and Gabi's sorta wedding that I have to share. Billie and Kate as Statler and Waldorf making comments from the balcony, er, church pew kept me in stitches. Why didn't we see more of this Billie over the past year? Those two could really turn into the gals from Grey Gardens, and I wouldn't mind a bit. Doug and Julie's late entrance was also entertaining. I especially laughed when he said, "Looks like we're just in time," as the drama unfolded around them.

Unfortunately, not everything about the ceremony was belly laugh-inducing. There were tears a'plenty, fists flying, and a whole lot of gasps and chest-grasping. Again, whereas I absolutely loved the delicious soapy drama of it all, I had some issues. I mean, seriously, did you really think I wouldn't? But first, let me tackle my non-issues. That might be easier.

CHAD I'm not mad at Chad. Was it a crappy thing to do at an inappropriate time? Oh, yeah! You betcha. But timing has never been Gabi's thing, either. She certainly could have found an appropriate time or two to tell the popo Melanie was being held up in a basement. Chad wanted a little comeuppance because of that. And he did feel bad for hurting Abigail, Will, and Sonny. So, meh, I don't mind that he ruined her big farce of a day.

WILL, LUCAS, and SAMI I loved Lucas' talk with Will. He didn't let his son get away with the "poor me" stuff. Good! Lucas went to jail for the flipping little ingrate, for goodness sake. Sure, sure, Will has justified issues, but Lucas was right to remind Will of how far Lucas has gone to love and protect him. Lucas pledged to be there for him now every step of the way, too. I hope that plays out because I enjoy this side of Lucas. I mean, really, who else wanted to give PFLAG's best dad a big hug?

Of course, Sami deserves credit for her chat with Will, too. It was an intense conversation that needed to happen. And I thought Alison Sweeney did an amazing job with the material. She really nailed it perfectly. Go, Ali!

I'm also hoping that his chats with Sami and Lucas are a turning point for Will and his parents. They've both apologized and admitted they messed up a zillion times, all the while exclaiming how much they love him. Now it's Will turn to man-up, forgive them, and move on with their support and encouragement. He really has bigger issues to deal with right now, anyway, and could use all the help he can get without the added embitterment.

NICK and GABI In the interest of full disclosure, Shawn-Douglas could have crashed through the stained glass window and crushed them both with his motorcycle, and I wouldn't have pitched a fit. Nick is so annoyingly obsessive that I want to go to Salem and smack some sense into all the Hortons who still look at him as dorky l'il Nicky. He's not that anymore. He's a full-fledged adult who will probably appear on America's Most Wanted at some point in the future. Case in point: Nick stating that "No one can stop our love." Nice sentiment, but creepy delivery.

As for poor, poor, devastated Gabi I only have one thing to say -- ha-ha-ha-ha...ha! Notwithstanding that she didn't show an ounce of guilt that Sami was doting on her for months, she could have done a lot better at describing what really happened to Rafe and Sami. She seemed to skip the part where Will proposed and offered to raise the baby with her. She didn't mention that, like her, Will didn't really want her to go through with the abortion. And she left out that Will has voiced his second, third, and fifteenth thoughts about Nick's their decision to raise the baby as a Felon, whoops, Fallon. I don't think Gabs is so much of a heartless bitch as she is dumb and spineless. Oh, how I miss the days when she and Will were best friends who were supportive of each other.

SONNY Nick, Gabi, and Will have all made enough poor choices that coughing up sympathy for them is extremely hard right now. Um, I don't even think I could if I tried. The same can't be said for Sonny. He was blindsided by their secret, and that's the biggest issue I've had with it all along. Sonny should have been let in on it a long time ago. Granted, Sonny shouldn't have had a say in what they did with the baby, but he could have voiced his opinion and decided what he wanted to do (be it stay with Will, or move on). But he was robbed of that, and that was rather sucky.

I do hope that Sonny forgives Will eventually. They make each other happy, and that's a rarity for soaps. And, after all, Sonny still has a huge secret on his shoulders that could easily explain why Chad was so hellbent on destroying Gabi. Just like Sonny deserved to know about the baby, I think Will should know about what Gabi has done. It might actually explain both of their odd behavior lately. Then again, I have faith that Sonny will step up if he feels the time is right. Well, here's to hoping anyway! In the meantime, sorry, Sonny -- it sucks to be you right now.

RAFE and SAMI Sami and Rafe's blowout was both awesome and ridiculous. Some of their fighting points were totally valid, but some were laughable (although not in a good way). It seemed like the writers just had them say everything and anything in hopes that some of it would make sense. Some of it did. Some of it not-so-much.

This section could be a million miles long, but I'll stick to one of my biggest issues. That was Rafe running with the misguided point that Will rushed Gabi to the abortion clinic so he could 86 the baby and be with Sonny. Um, that's not exactly how it happened, and Gabs should have tried harder to tell him so. More so, I remember clearly when Rafe was Will's stepfather and loved the lad. Sure, Sami didn't remember her affection for Gabi in the heat of the moment either, but Rafe was wrong, too. Hmm, Rafe and Sami bringing out the worst in each other? Who would have thought? Ultimately, if this blowup keeps Rafe and Sami apart that is fine by me.

NICK and GABI'S SORTA-WEDDING (Part 2) In conclusion, the blowout was entertaining, but I'm more excited by what happens next, as the first part of this storyline has been lackluster. The alliances that will form are interesting. On one side we have Will, Sami, Lucas, E.J., Marlena, and Kate. On the other side, we have Nick, Gabi, Rafe, and, well, all of the Horton famil y, apparently. I also hope that Rafe runs with his "Sami's true colors" mantra and stays away. That alone will make it much, much better.

JOHN, MARLENA, KRISTEN, and BRADY I absolutely loved the gusto with which Mar Mar tried to trick Kristen. The big smile on her face when the plans were laid was truly inspiring. However, I also loved that Kristen called her out in five seconds flat. That note was legendary. Nice attempt, Doc, but Kristen is a smidge more schemer savvy. All in all, a Dee/Eileen scene is never a bad thing. More, please!

As for John and Marlena, I can only ask -- when did they re-re-re-remarry? They keep talking about their marriage, but I feel like I missed something. Then again, they're probably just talking about their commitment to each other, which, in that case, they still have a problem. John is going on his version of a walkabout to clear his head. I hope he ends up in Bollywood to visit Auntie Viv. I'm sure she would give him some super advice.

Finally, we have beat-up Brady and Kristen. I'm curious about my devilish little diva. Is she actually starting to develop genuine feelings for the Brady Man? That would be interesting, but would also make me worried. When real feelings start flowing, there's more to lose, and they're too interesting to break up just yet over a little staged mugging and head trauma.

KATE, JENNIFER, DR. DAN, and CHLOE It's a little chuckle-worthy when Kate talks about Chloe being a prostitute. I mean, hello, pot, the original kettle is calling you black. Sure, Kate gave her sad accounts about her time in Hookerville, but that doesn't negate the fact she was the mayor there for a while. Moving on...

I'm honestly not that vested in watching the Chlomiester trying to win back Dr. Dan. Let me put that out there first. But if I have to watch something, I'd rather see Chloe vs. Jennifer opposed to Chloe vs. Kate. Let's face it. Kate is like Muhammad Ali. Chloe is like Screech from Saved by the Bell in boxing gloves. Kate could easily wipe the floor with her. Therefore, Chloe and Jennifer are a little more suited as adversaries.

It also seems like Jennifer's boxing coach will be Kate, while Chloe has her tag-team partner, cranky pants, Anne. I like these odds, but I think Chloe and Anne need to step up their game a bit. Their set-up was a good start, but Jennifer could easily explain away a note. What's next? Are they going to write "Daniel sucks!" in the women's restroom with a green marker and then place the marker in Jennifer's purse? Step it up, ladies. Step it up.

LOOSE ENDS: I'm glad that the Chloe vs. Nicole re: Dr. Dan's love tiff didn't last very long. I enjoy their friendship. Then again, their feud used to be pretty exciting to watch, too. Hmm!

Abigail and I are buddies, but I don't know if I will be able to resist giving her a sassy Maxine "mmm'hmm" when she finally finds out what Gabi did to Melanie. I hope she'll cut Chad some slack once that cat is out of the bag. You know, if she's not back with Cameron by then. Drats!

Invisi-Bo needs to slap some sense into Hope. I love my Fancy Face, but her special brand of justice was irritating. St. Rafe got a free pass because he was upset by a DiMera. A DiMera gets a citation and a lot of 'tude for doing the same thing Caroline got away with doing a few years ago without so much as a slap on the wrist. And Hope admittedly broke the law to help Mar Mar, but that was okay because it was an anti-DiMera strike. Got it! You can get away with anything in Salem as long as you blame it on a DiMera.

On topic, one could possibly argue that since Rafe beat up Chad (in front of a church full of onlookers, no less) and got away with it, Chad is off the hook for beating up Nick. That leaves Gabi's wrongdoings free for the picking. Go, Chad, go! Hurry to Justin and get a new affidavit signed!

HOT There was a lot of "Hot" last week, but I just loved that Victor was the one to check in on Sonny. I was just complaining to a friend that there hasn't been a good Victor/Sonny scene in a while, so I feel vindicated! I love that Victor loves Sonny so much. And of course his rundown of worse wedding disasters was hysterical!

NOT Okay, Horton family! Let's gather around for a second. I need to remind you all that Alice's son, Bill Horton, is Will's grandfather. That means -- bingo! Will is a Horton, too. If everyone in that family is going to stay on Team Nick, this is going to be an irritating storyline. Alice is already probably spinning in her grave like a pig on a spit from all the unHortonness of it all.

LINE OF THE WEEK Kate(to Jennifer): "It's delightful beyond words to see me twice in one day, isn't it?"

RANDOM THOUGHTS * Don't be mad! I'm allowed to make New Jersey jokes. I lived there for years. It was all in jest, my fist-pumping friends.

Victor claims to speak four languages. I'm guessing one of them is crazy, since he was married to Vivian, Nicole, and Kate!

HA! Thank you, Victor, for making fun of Doug and Julie's addiction to cruises.

Speaking of which, thank you, writers, for finally addressing the stupidness that was Julie lobbying for Nick's release then skipping town because she "had to" go on a cruise.

The Caroline/Eric scene was cute. Grandmas are the best!

Eric and Nicole made up. Good. I was worried.

I really wish the characters had scowled and shaken their fists every time they called Chad a dirty DiMera. It would have really driven the point home.

I want to see Lucas at one of those PFLAG meetings! And you can't tell me there's not some single mother there he could mingle with. I mean, come on, writers!

Yeah -- a Marlena/Will scene! Those are like chicken soup for the soap soul.

Double yeah -- a Will/E.J. scene! That hug was sweet. As was E.J.'s hug with Sami. But, I mean, hey, if E.J's giving out hugs so freely, where is the beginning of the line?

I should hate Anne, but I don't.

I loved that Nicole was trying on habits!

Chloe claimed Parker's first word was "choo choo." I'm convinced she's wrong and he really said "hoochie" while pointing at her.

PARTING THOUGHTS So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's Two Scoops for the week of January 21! Laurisa will be back next week to referee all the latest baby drama. She'll also be helping Chloe tape a "kick me" sign to Jennifer's back. Because that'll get her! And, "That's a fact!"

As always, thanks for reading! Tony

Need more Two Scoops? Head over to read blogs by Laurisa or Tony for more ranting, raving and all out randomness

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