It's time to come together

Break out your diva shades and oversized hats because the bitch is back! Celebrate the good times as this week's Two Scoops rolls out the red carpet to help usher in the return of Eileen Davidson as the deliciously, devilish Kristen DiMera!

That popping sound you may have heard was yet another bottle of champagne being opened, dear friends. I'm a deliriously happy Scooper this week! No, I'm not crazy. I know the majority of our fair soap was a messy pile of poo last week, but I don't care. Nope. Not one bit. And you all know why -- Eileen Davidson is back as the one and only Kristen DiMera! To quote my awesome partner, Laurisa, "Woot!"

You know, I don't think I can contain my excitement for a spiffy intro. Let's just discuss her return! Oh, yeah, and whatever else happened last week afterwards. Gushing to commence in five, four, three, two, one...

KRISTEN I stopped by Soap Central Live a few week ago to chat about all things DAYS with host Dan J Kroll. You can click here to listen (later, of course). And, yes, I brought up Kristen's return! But let me elaborate.

When I began Scooping five years ago (this month!), three of my all-time favorite DAYS characters were long gone, and seemingly so forever. Those three were Vivian Alamain, Nicole Walker, and Kristen DiMera. Never in my Scooping dreams did I think I'd be able to cover the antics of my three beloved divas, which was kind of a bummer. But don't get me wrong, I was just happy to be an official Two Scooper, and I moved on with gusto, as there is always something to celebrate about my favorite soap each week.

Well, the soap gods soon smiled upon me. Much to my surprise, Nicole returned with a small pooch and martini in hand less than a year after I became a columnist. I celebrated hard. And the next thing I knew, I started reading reports that Louise Sorrel was returning as Vivian. I celebrated even harder. So you can imagine how hardy I partied when on my five-year Scooping anniversary, I got the best gift ever -- Kristen returned as well! Welcome back, Eileen! Party on, folks. Party on!

And the party begins with Eileen Davidson. I adore her. I always have. My first run-in with her was on Santa Barbara as Kelly Capwell number four, no less. Sorry, Robin Wright, but Eileen was my favorite Kelly. In fact, it was love at first sight. And as sad I was when Santa Barbara was canceled I was just as thrilled when Eileen ventured to Salem! From there, it was on. My heart belonged to Kristen Blake!

From the good girl Ms. Blake was when she arrived in town to the devil she became, I was always firmly on "Team Kristen." I never really cared what Kristen did as Eileen managed to razzle and dazzle with her performances. Sure, my gal Kristen had issues. She may be an unbalanced schemer, but she's my unbalanced schemer.

So, sorry hardcore Marlena fans, we may be parting ways soon. Granted, I'll still enjoy a good Mar Mar and Will scene every now and then, but the Kristen flag is once again flying proudly, and I'm looking forward to whatever she may be planning for Salem's holier-than-though super psychiatrist. There's a storm coming, Mr. Wayne Doc Evans. You and your friends better batten down the hatches. Oh, this is going to rock!

Kristen's first scenes rocked, too! They were textbook "Popular Actor Returns to a Soap, 101." There were the mysterious phone calls made beforehand, followed by the entrance of a person shot from behind. Who is she? I don't know!

Spoiler alert: I did know. It was Kristen! And when the camera finally panned to Eileen's face, I cheered and then Tweeted! She was officially home. And in a fierce hat, too boot, and when a diva returns in a hat, that certainly spells trouble. Dun dun dun!

So what's ahead for Kristen? It doesn't take a Rafe to realize -- whoops! Sorry. It doesn't take a fool to realize that Stefano will convince her to return to Salem. Excuse me while I squeal with excitement for another second. Okay, okay, calming down.

Without a doubt, when Kristen gets back to town, heads will certainly turn (and eventually roll). I suspect John and Marlena are on her hit list. I'm sure John will be a bit edgy. And, oh, I'm eager to see Doc's horrified reaction! *insert evil snickering*

And we know Kristen's returning to reunite the DiMera boys. There is a certain amusing factor that's her mission, given she's been gone and seldom mentioned for fourteen years. Thankfully, Kristen picked that up and rolled her eyes, too. I also cracked up when she referred to Chad as "the new one." But I digress.

Kristen has her mission, and I'm eager to see how the DiMera boys react to her. She's certainly the anti-Lexie, sans the time Lexie went a bit -- and by "a bit" I mean "a lot" -- crazy. Sure, Kristen has style and sophistication like Lexie, but she's also got crazy eyes, and that spells trouble for everyone (and fun for viewers). I have a feeling she'll rally the DiMera army instead of worrying about peacefully integrating them into the community. That's just a hunch, of course.

I also suspect that Chad will be a bit "whatever" towards Kristen. Chad's just kind of like that, but E.J. might be more curious and all shades of suspicious. I can't wait to see how Kristen reacts to E.J. He was the child she could have been raising with John, after all. That has to be a forefront thought for her. Oh, this is definitely going to get juicy, and I can't wait. As I always say, "More, please!"

With that gushing out of the way for now, let's briefly talk about the rest of the week in Salem. I don't want to kill the buzz, but I'm just contractually obligated to do so...after another gulp of champagne.

NICOLE, DR. DAN, JENNIFER, and COMPANY My mom is not a drinker. In fact, I've only known her to have a glass of wine during the holidays and on report card days when I was younger. When we had a DAYS gab-fest last week and I brought up Nicole/Jennifer, she simply said, "They make me want to reach for a bottle of wine." So true, mom. So true.

Truth be told, I'm annoyed with all the characters involved in this storyline myself right now. Dr. Dan needs to abort his mission. Nicole, well, we'll talk about her in a few. And Jennifer totally drove me bat-crap crazy! Like, really, every time she started to fume and scream about Nicole, I just wanted to lock her in a secret room. I wonder if Kristen still has the keys to that? Hmm...

Anyway, every time Jen started in on how big of a mistake Dr. Dan was making, she was inadvertently calling him stupid. Way to charm him, Jen! He's a big boy. He can make his own choices. And thanks to Victor, Brady, Chloe, and, well, everyone who knows Nicole, he knows what she's capable of. So, Dr. Dan can certainly man-up and face the facts when Nicole's schemes are exposed. It's his mess to deal with, despite Jennifer's good intentions.

Now, I assume Jennifer's probably redirecting her, um, grief over Jack's death onto something she thinks she can control, but the girl has got to give it up. Brady was absolutely right. It's not Jen's place to interfere in Dr. Dan's life. Her heart might be in the right place, but unfortunately her brain is like a lump of one-track hostility towards Nicole. In fact, I've lost most of my sympathy for Jennifer these days.

That isn't to say Nicole is an innocent party. She's not. It was tragic that she lost her baby, no doubt about it, and Ari Zucker is doing an amazing job with the material, but Nicole is not a saint. It's rather icky that she's using Danny's death to frame Jennifer for baby murder. In fact, I'm sick of dead babies in Salem. It's depressing and seems to happen far too often on DAYS. There should be a once a decade rule about that sort of thing. Again, I digress.

Nicole using her baby's death to her advantage is sick. Like Jennifer pining over Dr. Dan right now, Nicole using her baby lessens the sympathy we should have for a beloved character going through a heartbreaking ordeal. Instead, we have two crazy chicks messing with Dr. Dan. Great.

CAROLINE and COMPANY Honestly, this storyline is depressing. Sure, it's realistic, but it's sad, and I'm electing not to go into too much detail about it right now. I'm in party mode and don't want to be a buzz kill.

I will say, I'm enjoying the performances and the fact it's bringing Caroline, Kayla, and Bo to the front burner. I also appreciated that Bo reached out to Gabi to keep an eye on Caroline. I'm not thrilled with this storyline, but I'm glad the writers are keeping a keen eye on the small details. Other than that, we're moving on for the moment!

LOOSE ENDS Yes, yes, and yes! Had Kristen not returned this week, Lucas apologizing to Will (and Sonny) would have received my "Hot of the Week." I was thrilled to see Lucas open up and realize how much he hurt Will. Amen to happy endings and hugs!

Speaking of Lucas, his decision to apologize semi-stemmed from his talk with Kate. As much as I enjoy Kate's support of Will, I almost spit out my cocktail when she told Lucas it's not up to a parent to tell their kids who they should love, etc. Really!? I mean, really, Kate!? Methinks she had to be kidding, or she genuinely learned from her mistakes...the exact moment she uttered that advice. If not, the current writers need to review, say, the past nineteen years of Kate's actions. Just saying.

Another contender for the "Hot of the Week" was Victor. I adore the man. His support of Sonny was amazing, and methinks his message is timeless -- support your loved ones and wish them all the happiness in the world. Unless they're dating Nicole, of course.

In a total OMG moment, Billie actually had a scene of substance! No, seriously. She did. She had a relevant conversation with Jennifer and later had to play the part of an eyewitness. Okay, okay. I'm grasping at straws, but at least she didn't pop up just to annoy E.J. again. That's some progress for Billie.

Finally, Safe. Ugh. They pretty much dated and reminisced all week. I really mean that. Allllll week. We even got Safe flashbacks. Um, yay! I especially loved the entire episode when Rafe complained about the service at Common Grounds. That was a special time for sure. Okay, back to Kristen!

HOT: Three words: Eileen Davidson's return! Okay, four words -- fabulous!

NOT: Okay, okay, okay, writers. I'm sure you all have a dictionary handy, so it's time to look up the word "balance." Each week you have five hours of material to air (sans commercials, of course. With those it really makes things around 220 minutes, but let's defer to five hours to make life easier. Math isn't my thing). So, they have five hours to fill, but I'd like to know why four and a half of them seem to be dedicated to Safe?

Believe it or not, there are other scenes viewers would love to see! To name a few over the past two weeks: Justin's meeting with Nick and Chad, Roman and Marlena's conversation regarding budget cuts at the police station, Kate getting her hands on Nick's rsum, Maggie crying to Victor about Dr. Dan leaving, Nurse Maxine eating lunch, Abigail looking for her cell phone, and so on. I feel like I'm missing little things while Safe is being shoved down my throat. Hell, even seeing annoying 'ole Billie randomly pop up was a welcomed sight compared to the Safe overload.

In conclusion, I need more balance, dear writers. We know you have the hots for Safe, but let's play fair to, you know, all the fans. Is that too much to ask for?

LINE OF THE WEEK: Caroline (to Bo, regarding his plan to sail around the world): "Shouldn't you be out buying a wooden leg and a parrot?"

Honorable Mentions: Kate (to Lucas): "Gay people do kiss, too. You knew that right?"

Nicole (to Jennifer): "You forbid it? What, did you swallow a Victorian novel?"

RANDOM THOUGHTS: Of course Victor uses the most expensive coffee beans. I love it!

I can't keep track of all of Nicole's daydreams.

Since when did Dr. Dan's apartment get a hallway? I remember when it was Sami's place and the room off the kitchen was the bathroom.

Remember when the pier was on the way to everything in Salem instead of the square? I bet it's now the safest place to talk to yourself aloud, as no one goes there anymore!

PARTING THOUGHTS: So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's Two Scoops for the week of October 15! You can follow me on Twitter @Tony_S_DAYS as I continue to rave about Eileen Davidson's return! In the meantime, I'm off to the "Kristen's back" afterparty. Laurisa will be back next week to cover all things DAYS, but just be sure to talk softly, as she's been partying, too, and "That's a fact!"

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