All mixed up

Just when you thought it was safe to ignore a storyline, a secret explodes right in the middle of it. See what Nicole, John, Kate, and Sami learned this week and why you should stay tuned to DAYS, in this week's Two Scoops column.

I'm going to make a lot of people mad with this column. I'm going to make a lot of people happy too. Because, you see, this Sweeps month has been filled with revelations that honestly, confuse me. For the first time in a long time I like and despise characters at the same time. I actually think that's a tribute to the good work that the writers are doing.

WILL I don't know that I've ever felt worse for a character than I do for Will. His insecurities are causing him to sink into such self-delusion that he listed Kate, Roman, Lucas, and Sami as people who won't be able to handle the news that he's gay, when clearly everyone loves the kid no matter what. It's a good thing that Sonny worked as a Sherpa because Will needs all the guidance that he can get.

Unfortunately, he's got too much of his mama in him to listen to advice. Yes, much like Sami, I'm rooting for Will to get out of his own head (not to mention his own way) and realize that it's not always a best practice to live your life based on your predictions of other people's actions. I want to see Will happy, and he's clearly miserable right now.

NICOLE and DANIEL It's not that I don't think that Nicole deserves a kid. She's at her golden-hearted best when she has someone to love. And, I would really enjoy watching Arianne Zucker weave maternal compassion into Nicole's multi-layered psyche. But the problem is that this time it isn't about Nicole, or even the baby. It's all about the pregnancy and E.J. Rant coming in 3...2...

I need a lot more than Daniel's weak, "Well, they were wrong" explanation to tell me why no one is concerned about Nicole's health. She's been told that she'd never be able to carry a pregnancy to term because of the internal damage caused by her last miscarriage. Plus, no one will ever be able to convince me that Nicole isn't the best candidate possible for an adoption storyline, since she knows first-hand that DNA does not necessarily make a family (See: Mendez, Paul or DiMera, Sydney).

Nope. We move right past anything dealing with Nicole and focus this storyline on E.J. "Big Papa" DiMera. (Y'all know how much I love tug-of-war storylines over kids!) Nicole's already cast Brady Daniel in the role of sidekick who will keep her secrets. Next, she'll be changing her name and meeting with some poor unsuspecting nun! And...exhale. End of rant.

As for the Daniel and Nicole thing, now that Chloe and Daniel are civil, there's no need for Nicole to hate him. And Daniel does love a lady in a hospital gown, so Nicole is totally his type. Honestly, Ari Zucker and Shawn Christian have great banter between them, so I'm okay with Nicole and Daniel being friends. Plus, I love that Daniel isn't afraid to speak to the terrors of being on every side of a paternity secret that biology would allow. Between Parker, Melanie, and Maggie, Daniel has it covered.

MADISON and IAN Madison tried to appeal to Ian's heart by calling Brady her soul mate. Ian was even less amused that I. Seriously, I guess I should be sad that Madison is stuck in a loveless marriage. But I don't care enough about her to be that sad. And, someone needs to explain to me what everyone means when they say that Ian "saved" Madison's life. As far as I'm concerned, "saving" someone's life means pulling them from a car, giving them a kidney, or something of the like. It doesn't mean investing in someone's company. Oh well, at least I like that Ian called her a hot mess.

SAMI and LUCAS No joke, when Lucas came to Sami's door, I was terribly excited to see him. If Sami's going to be judged and berated for "not changing," then it should be by Lucas, because he's schemed alongside and truly taken the journey with her. But, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Sami filled Lucas in on her tryst with E.J., drawing the parallel between sleeping with E.J. and Lucas's drinking. I'll be the first to say that substance addiction is hardly the same as sleeping with your ex. But, in the terror of the moment that you hear your child is dead, I can see a slight resemblance, especially in the area of self-destruction. So, I'll let that one slide for now.

Besides, I was too distracted by how Alison Sweeney and Bryan Datillo's chemistry seemed better than ever. Or perhaps it's exactly what Lucas said. Lucas is the one person in town who doesn't hate Sami. It's not that Sami didn't deserve it, but as a viewer, it was getting tired of watching Marlena, Will, Rafe, and E.J. all scold Sami scene after scene. I found Lucas and Sami's scene very refreshing.

ABIGAIL and MEL Holy cow, Abigail tracked down where Carrie and Austin went for the weekend! The look on Mel's face when she saw Austin and realized what Abigail had done was priceless. Melanie is all too familiar with the Horton string of crazy, and it doesn't look like she's too thrilled to be a spectator to it this time either.

Just what is crazy Abigail planning to do? Drug Austin's drink? Bury Carrie in an avalanche? Sneak into his room and haunt Austin's dreams? Once again, I have so much faith in Kate Mansi, and Abigail's strong support system back home, that I'm giving this storyline a lot of leeway. It's not that I'm rooting for Abigail and Austin to end up together, nor do I support what Abigail is doing. But, darn it, if she isn't entertaining me! Plus, the repercussions of this storyline will bring about some great material for my second favorite new character -- Jack Deveraux: Super Dad. (I missed him this week!)

CARRIE and AUSTIN I'm not even going to say what I thought Carrie had in her suitcase when she opened it up because this is a family column. But it's clear that Austin is pulling out all the stops to get their relationship back on track, including taking her to a romantic ski trip at Green Mountain Lodge.

I know I'm wrong for not being mad at Austin for keeping the "truth" about what happened with Abigail from Carrie. But for some reason, I can't help but feel sorry for the guy. Part of it is because I know Abigail is lying. Perhaps part of it is because Carrie and Austin always seemed like the antagonists for Sami and/or Lucas, rather than an actual couple. But, the biggest part is because Carrie isn't being honest about her feelings for Rafe. As long as Carrie is taking Rafe out for lunch at the Brady Pub, it really doesn't really matter how clean Austin comes.

Still, I wish that Austin had someone to talk to. If only he had a sibling in town or something like that.

WILL and SAMI On one hand, I think it's terribly unfair to put it all on Sami that she doesn't know Will is gay. Will, like most 19-year-olds do, confided some secrets in people other than his parents. Aside from Sonny and Marlena, we haven't seen anyone else suspect anything about Will. So I can't be completely mad at Sami for that.

On the other hand, it's more than time for Sami to stop saddling Will with her baggage. I can't help but think that if Sami wasn't always counting on Will to keep her secrets, maybe he'd feel a little more comfortable opening up to her -- or, at least, letting her help put together some Ikea furniture in his new apartment.

Still, there was a point last week when Sami was begging Will to let her in. Knowing how much he needs someone to be there for him right now, it made me hope that these two find a way to work it out.

JOHN and HOPE After filing their divorce papers and having to turn over their passports, they decided to go sightseeing to kill time. It was better than be holed up in their shared hotel room. Naturally, there was only one free room in all of the land! Then, things finally got interesting. Turns out John never stopped working for the ISA! Woot!

I am urging the writers with all of my might. Keep going down this road! Stefano didn't just brainwash John and Hope to keep Marlena single. He had the two of the commit crimes! If the two of them can remember their past, perhaps they can find proof that Stefano committed a crime and then arrest him for something. Seeing ISA Agent Black and Detective Brady work together would be a helluva lot more interesting than seeing Marlena's husband and Bo's wife try to convince us that there's any reason in the world that they should be a couple.

RAFE

The more time that Rafe spends with Carrie, the more I like him. He's charmingly flawed and not forced to be Mr. Wonderful. I had to laugh at the irony of Rafe lamenting that Sami has a way of twisting the truth in her own mind, just before staring into Carrie's eyes and telling her how amazingly forgiving she is. Normally I'd be irritated by that sort of thing. But, I didn't mind it this time. It was the most vulnerable I've ever seen him, and it didn't look bad.

SAMI and MARLENA I don't think Sami is wrong all of the time. But sweet fancy Moses, she sure is exhausting! Following her logic is like chasing a balloon around the room that some kid blew up and then let go. As impressed as I was that Marlena didn't slap Sami when the girl had the nerve to fault Marlena for Safe's marriage problems, I was more impressed that Marlena kept up with Sami without having to stop to put on those motion-sickness bracelets.

I still remain firm that both ladies are right/wrong. Marlena hasn't been there for Sami, and to show up at Sami's door and confess to knowing about Sami's affair and also keeping Will's secrets is not a great move. I don't think there was any malice behind it at all, but Marlena had to know that her move equated to poking a sleeping dragon with a torch.

As for Sami's part, she needs to realize that the only people responsible for the state of her marriage are her and Rafe. I don't care if Marlena had taken out a billboard in Horton Square announcing "Sami and E.J. hit the sheets again," it still wouldn't be Marlena's fault that Rafe is mad at Sami. And for real, we need to retire the blame game over Marlena's affair with John. For a woman who is not with either of her children's fathers, Sami sure throws around accusations about "letting daddy walk out the door" like nobody's business. Get. Over. It.

LOOSE ENDS: As much potential as they had at one point, I got nothing from the Daniel and Jennifer scenes. I like them both, so I can't root for Daniel to land the gal that couldn't commit to him, any more than I can force myself to want Jennifer to settle down with the guy who she almost wanted some of the time.

E.J. offered Lexie the job of Salem's Health Commissioner. (Is that a real thing?) He wanted to up preventative medicine -- which was the first good idea I've heard out of him in a long time. But, he offered the job to Lexie after a string of ridiculous-even-for-E.J. suggestions that Abe is somehow on the same sin-o-meter level as the DiMeras. Puuhleeeease.

There was a bit of revisionist history again when Marlena mentioned that Will lived in Switzerland because he didn't get along with Sami. We all know that wasn't the case. But, that does pretty much confirm that Marlena doesn't know that Will was the one who shot E.J.

Since I know next to nothing about her, crazy Gabi doesn't interest me the same way that crazy Abigail does. She's a little too Jan Spears and not enough Nicole Walker.

Thanks to Ian's intel, Kate put Sami on the super top-secret mission of sniffing out the mole. I'm not sure that Sami really needs another storyline where someone hates her right now, but because Lucas is back, and he still technically works for Kate, this could have promise.

HOT: Slide over a piece of humble pie with a side of guilt. I need to eat some when it comes to Carrie. I did not expect her to so accurately state so many historical facts. Carrie pointed out that Sami must have been out of her mind to cheat, since Sami isn't one to cheat before. And then went further to drop the Victor/Caroline bomb as an example of someone who kept an affair a secret, yet wasn't crucified for it because of the circumstances surrounding it. Carrie really has gotten smarter in law school!

NOT: Shoot! I had it all packed: my cowbell, foam finger, and Team Brady t-shirt. I was ready to board the fan bus. Then, he went and took Madison back. Dang. Apparently, the five minutes he spent with her outweighed the fact that she played him for a chump. And, he's also going to help her take down Ian. That doesn't sound exciting. Ian will crush them. Now, if Brady came across a secret that Ian had, then I could be interested. But the whole True Love vs. Evil thing that they're trying to pull off isn't working for me. Unless I'm mistaken, that dynamic is already being employed in Bo/Hope/John/Marlena/Stefano land and I barely like it there. Free Brady!

LINE OF THE WEEK: Marlena: "Sami, if you can't take responsibility for your actions then for once in your life, please stop talking!" The refrains of "Amens" can still be heard echoing though out the kingdom of Salem.

Honorable mention: Madison: "Can you just give me five minutes?" Brady: "Five minutes?! I was happy to give you the rest of my life! So no, I don't have five minutes." Dayum. Brady told her. RANDOM THOUGHTS: Thank goodness Sami finally got out of the "Elvira: Business Casual" collection and into some other duds.

Alamainia looks a lot like Wherever Melanie's From, France.

As someone who completely despises the term "ASAP" I had to laugh at Sami telling Kate to, "shove it up her ASAP."

Need more proof that Rafe and Carrie are going to be a couple? Check it out here.

It's never a good sign when Hope puts on extra makeup.

It's amusing to watch Sami and E.J. have a discussion about who's more selfish. That's like Facebook and YouTube arguing over who's the bigger work distraction.

Since when does Daniel call Nicole, "Nic"?

How delish does lobster cob salad sound?

Did anyone else see Daniel get distracted for a second while reading something on Nicole's chart? Should we worry about that?

RIP Agent Walsh. My condolences to Brenda and Brandon.

This doesn't have anything to do with DAYS, but I watched OLTL's Star Manning make her way to Port Charles to settle in with the gang at GH. I love that the show is doing this. If it gets more viewers to a new soap, I'm all for it!

Did you check out the Emmy Pre-Noms?

More importantly, did you cast your Dankies vote?

Finally, I leave you with one more confession before I turn it over to Tony for another week. Friends, I can't type "Amamainia" without having the song, "Transylvania Mania" go through my head. I think they even mention Alamainia in the first few lines. Listen and let me know what you think about the song or the week on DAYS! Click here to share your thoughts with me!

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