Can't always get what you want

Rafe constantly treats Sami like a child. In all fairness, Sami acts like a child around Rafe. At this point, it's the chicken-or-the-egg argument. Who cares which came first -- just make it stop!

Any student of English will tell you that you can't tell a great story without some rising action. Sure, we'd all love for every week to be revealing secrets and climaxes. But, that isn't the pure storytelling way. So, as much as I'm a bit of a crankopotamus about this week, I get that it's all part of the game. Plus, now that DAYS has been renewed (WOOT!!!!) the writers have time to craft some great storylines . What happened last week was just set up for all the great things about to come.

DANIEL Carly's not the only one who sees Daniel in a different light. I don't know if you all know this or not, but that Shawn Christian is kind of gorgeous. It's like a new actor joined the show a few weeks ago and he's grabbed my attention. Daniel and Melanie's scenes together were perfection. They contained the perfect blend of longing, awkwardness, and humor. I'm glad that Melanie is taking the lead a little bit here because, between the two of them, she's the one who has experience reconnecting with a long-lost relative.

SAMI and RAFE There's a lot I don't get about Salem's newest wannabe supercouple. Rafe constantly treats Sami like a child. But in all fairness, Sami acts like a child around Rafe. At this point, it's the chicken or the egg argument. I'm not sure which came first. But I am sure that I want it to end. Instead of trying to make up for lost time with Sydney, Sami just paced around the penthouse and pouted about Rafe. Instead of spending time with the little girl that he claimed he missed so much, Rafe drowned himself in another mystery. Even when Sami plunked the tot right down on his lap, Rafe seemed to be looking for the shortest way to the door.

But, however annoying Safe may or may not be, its peanuts compared to what the writers have done with Sami herself. Looking for a job is a super hobby for Sami to have. In fact, fans have been screaming about this for years. But this time the job hunt has nothing to do with furthering Sami as a character. It's just another plot point to give Safe something else to bond/fight over. There's no way the writers can be serious with it. Do the writers really expect us to believe that Sami would qualify to (snicker, snicker, snort!) to work at the FBI? BWAHAHAHAHAHA!! It's the flippin' FBI. Everyone goes through a background check!

But I have to admit that the point at which I physically slapped my head out of disbelief was when Sami announced that she was going to have Roman write her a letter of recommendation, but then remembered Rafe could write it! (Pause again for slap) Yes, Sami was really considering going into a job interview with either a) a letter from her boyfriend or b) a note from daddy. Really, Sami? What has happened to this character? I can only hope that when Nicole comes back, Sami's smarts will return.

NICOLE If the last three months have shown us anything, it's that DAYS is much stronger with Nicole on-screen. So, I'm going to look past the fact that she's deluding herself enough to think that E.J. or Roman would even think of taking her calls and just roll with her blackmail attempt.

And the more I think about it, the more I like it that she's a little off her rocker. She snapped within minutes after her miscarriage and hasn't looked back. I highly doubt that her time in prison was full of therapy sessions and self-reflection. Nope. More likely, Nicole just sat and marinated in her own anger. The extended temporary insanity can also explain why Nicole was so nasty to Faye because I'm still not down with being disrespectful to Mama Walker.

But, I LOVED that the writers tied in Nicole to Anna's motivation. I have to admit that I had forgotten all about Nicole witnessing Tony's death and doing nothing. Anna has a darn good reason to be mad at Nicole. I'd actually like to see Anna get a little more revenge for Nicole hesitating more than a second to call 9-1-1 when she saw Tony dying.

E.J. He finally spelled it out for us. E.J.'s grand plan is to make Sami fall in love with him and then leave her broken-hearted. I can't see this ending any other way than E.J. actually falling in love with Sami.

On one hand, I'm excited to see E.J. go through a process where he actually forgives someone else. On the other hand, E.J. is on a revenge mission that involves him gaining Sami's trust enough so she'll be with him, and that sounds all too familiar. It sounds almost EXACTLY LIKE his first storyline on the show. Hmmm...

Still, love him or hate him, E.J. is rarely boring. In fact, the only time when he has been dreadfully boring is when his brain took a backseat to Nicole's lies. This time, E.J. is back in control and, as a viewer, I'm okay with that. But I would suggest that he stop confessing his secrets to his children. Johnny already told Theo that Sydney was safe the whole time. Next, Sydney's going to start talking and telling everyone that daddy is pretending to love mommy. I've seen that after-school-special and it doesn't end well.

MELANIE and PHILIP I get why the writers had to warp speed Philip and Melanie together. With Viv and Carly coming back, they needed something to keep Viv from going full speed ahead with her plan. But now that the pairing has served its purpose and Melanie's life has been spared, Phelanie needs to end.

I'll admit that in the beginning, I was a little enticed with the idea of these two junior baddies getting together. But as soon as these two hooked up, Philip lost his punch. I remember when Philip was trying to arrange corporate takeovers. Last week, Philip arranged for the two of them to move back in with Maggie. Not that I don't love Maggie, but living with everyone's favorite Auntie doesn't exactly scream badass. It screams safe and helpful, which I'm pretty sure were two of the last things that viewers wanted when they bought into Phelanie. Plus no matter how easy it is for me to look past the appearance age-difference, Melanie complaining that her mom gave her away doesn't do well for the whole "let's believe Melanie isn't a teenager" game that the writers want us to play. Melanie is still a kid. That's the reason that she's still hung up on Nathan, yet fell over herself to marry the good looking upperclassman who finally paid attention to her Philip.

CHLOE Chloe kinda amused me this week. She's so many degrees of wrong in everything she does that she's actually lapped back around into comical. Because she craves any attention -- good or bad -- she started a fight with Daniel to remind him that she still exists. It's a classic desperate girl move (one that I've seen many a-gals use), but I'm not so sure I'm pumped about seeing it on my favorite soap.

Daniel's interaction with Carly or Melanie isn't really any of Chloe's business. Quite frankly, all Chloe's fit-throwing isn't going to change the fact that Melanie is Carly and Daniel's daughter, so the sooner Chloe gets over herself and supports Daniel through this, the better.

And now they're fighting over Chloe not going to therapy. (If that was a valid concern, wouldn't virtually every soap opera couple have that same argument?) This argument flustered Chloemeister so much that she went to vent to Nicole, because Nicole has absolutely no problems of her own to worry about, so Nicole is thrilled to shell out well-thought-out advice to Chloe.

I know, I know. Chloe is "traumatized" because she found out that she can't get pregnant. Sorry, I have a hard time believing that the girl who just a few months ago came out of a life-threatening coma and got engaged to the man she loves is now ticked because she might have to adopt a child. Don't even get me started on the fact that she's complaining about how the mark of a horrible human being is giving up a child. (I wonder what Chloe's mother, Nancy, would think about that revelation.)

Still, by the end of the week, I thought Chloe was actually a hoot. Be sure to tune in next week when Chloe goes off on Maxine for watering the plants on the nurses' station, "Oh, you think you're sooo cool that you gave Daniel a plant to look at. What? Am I not capable of gardening too? Just because I can't pour water in dirt doesn't mean that I can't be a good wife!!" STEPHANIE and NATHAN There's no way Stephanie actually thinks that she did a good deed by keeping Mel's letter from Nathan. Even Stephanie can't be that dumb. She did it because she didn't want Nathan's attention to wander. I don't care how many people she wants to tell her story of being punished for a misunderstanding. I'm not buying it. So since we got that out of the way, can Stephanie please drop the good girl act? No one tricked her into being in Mel's wedding and getting that letter. Like Tony, I'm a little excited to see Stephanie Johnson Soap Badgirl. The problem is that I'm not seeing it yet. Instead, I see the same Carrie Brady/ Chloe Lane/ Lexie Carver gal who always has an explanation or excuse for all of her actions. So, anytime Steph wants to embrace the bitch I'll be ready.

CARLY, BO, and HOPE I like Carly. I like Bo. But, I don't buy Barly yet. I buy the lust and the desperation, but not the legitimate connection. Like Sami and Rafe, their relationship has never been under regular circumstances, so I don't know if these two are really built for the long haul. I'm not alone either. Max, Victor, Caroline, and Roman have all made pro-Bope speeches. Heck, even Carly thinks that Bo and Hope can eventually find their way back to each other. She told Hope so. Hmm...I'm starting to see why Carly managed to get herself buried alive. If I were Hope, I'd have slugged Carly right there. Where was this noble notion when Carly was hopping into bed with Bo?

Still, I can't totally hate Carly because Carly actually used the phrase "Since I ended things with Lawrence." HA! There are several exes with whom I'd have loved to end things the way Carly does.

CARLY and MELANIE I love this storyline because I can see both sides of it. Melanie is in a world of hurt right now. She has to deal with the fact that her tortured childhood could have been replaced with one that was full of surfing and chillin'. Like it or not, Carly is the one person who could have prevented her growing up with Trent, yet she didn't. So I think Melanie has every right to resent Carly. Daniel's got a pretty good case too. The fact that he and Melanie have worked in the same building for the past few months is little consolation to the years that he's missed out on with her. And to his credit, he's trying to move forward. But, I credit Carly a ton of sympathy because she was between a rock and a hard spot when she gave up Mel. She didn't know if Daniel would be able to raise Melanie or not. But, she was darn sure that Lawrence and Viv would have gone after Daniel and Melanie. In a case of an impossible choice, she went with what she knew for sure. I can't fault her too much for that.

LOOSE ENDS I actually like Mia, yet even I'm bored to tears with which guy she wants to date. I'm suddenly longing for the days when kids went to mysterious ski camps that lasted months on end.

Brady and Arianna got engaged. Nicole is heading back to Salem and hasn't forgotten about the leather jacket-wearing bachelor. Please, oh, please let this mean that Crazy Nicole is going to show up in a wedding dress at ANOTHER one of Brady's weddings.

Extra Scoops:

RANDOM THOUGHTS I like how Rafe was looking for fingerprints in a house where he didn't wear gloves, or ask Sami and E.J. to wear gloves when they came in.

What in the holy comb-over was up with Nathan's hair?

She still looks better than me on my best day, but I appreciate that DAYS isn't overstyling Arianne Zucker while she's playing Nicole in prison. I'm glad she isn't in heavy makeup and perfect hair. We all know that only happens when you are in a coma.

I like how being Catholic automatically means you know Latin.

HOT Darin Brooks returned for about five minutes, but I'll take what I can get. Much like Daniel, when Max's scenes don't revolve around his love life, I find him endlessly entertaining. He was sweet with Caroline. He was tough with Bo. He was hilarious with Daniel. (How deliciously awkward was the "How's Chelsea?" question between the two of them?) He was dead serious with Philip (THANK GOD someone else called Philip out on his proposal addiction!) And most importantly, he was genuine with Melanie. The reigning Emmy winner is always a welcome sight in Salem.

NOT Sadly, the tradition is staying alive. My beloved Irish Bradys failed to do anything that looked like a St. Patrick's Day party. But then again, it's not like they had anything to celebrate or anything. Nope, it's not like they could honor the youngest member of the Brady family returning with a big-ol' Irish fest. And, really, where would they host such a shin-dig? If only there was an Irish Pub somewhere in town...

LINE OF THE WEEK Max: "I am the best, I know. I always forget that. I'm glad you tell me these things." The Line of the Week was brought to you today by Darin Brooks's awesome comedic timing.

That's all I've got for now! I'm off to eat leftover potato soup and corned beef. Unlike some people, I actually celebrated St. Patty's Day this week. Tony will be back next week to cover more of our newly renewed favorite soap!

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