My girl

Last week, Melanie Layton-Manning/Jonas-Kiriakis managed to accomplish the unthinkable -- she melted Vivian Alamain's heart and took the fun out of revenge!

Paternity is a funny thing. Most epics center on men trying to solidify their kingdom by producing and protecting a son. Yet, this week DAYS turned conventional literature on its head and declared a week-long "Ladies' Night". Fathers -- both biological and non -- fell over themselves to protect their daughters. And, in the world of Alice Horton, nothing seems more appropriate than to see the gals take center stage for the last week of Sweeps.

MELANIE

It's been a quick journey for our favorite ex-Frenchmen. (Frenchperson?) Just think, a little more than a year ago, she was a picture in Trent's wallet. Now, she's all grown-up-ish, married to a Kiriakis heir, and the daughter of Carly Manning and Daniel Jonas. You'd have thought that would be enough.

But no, Melanie Layton-Manning/Jonas-Kiriakis managed to do something I never thought I'd see. She melted Vivian Alamain's heart and took the fun out of revenge!

She didn't do it by pleading for her life. Instead, she spared her own life by asking to die. Some might say that Molly Burnett's screeching performance was way over-the-top. I am not one of those people. I thought that she was perfect. Melanie lives her life a step or two ahead of her own feet, so why not suffer that way too?

She found out that her abusive childhood was spent with a man who was not her biological father, which also means that the only biological family she's ever loved (her brother, Max) was a lie too. She's well aware of the fact that she rushed into marriage before she was sure of whom she wanted to marry. Her mom just shot her. And, her new embryo-mother-in-law tried to smother her with a pillow. You try making it through a day like that without a little screeching.

Carly and Daniel didn't do much better. While they may have had the best lovers turned friend arrangement this side of My Best Friend's Wedding, they are in for a pile of trouble now. I can't wait to see how Melanie and Daniel's relationship will play out. It's very possible that they'll bond over the only thing they have in common -- the fact that Carly lied to both of them for almost 20 years.

SYDNEY

So, two weeks ago or so, E.J. decided that the best way to punish everyone who has wronged him is to fake Sydney's death and then run away with pirates. But OOPSIE, as soon as he realized that little plan wasn't going to leave Samantha with an empty bed, he decided to switch it up a bit and let his not-so-dead daughter live. He whipped up another ransom note and was off to the races again.

These manic storyline switches keep me from feeling the shock and horror that the writers want me to feel. Instead I focus on the little things -- you know -- those things that aren't dead babies or grieving mothers, and find myself enjoying the secondary parts of this storyline.

First, I completely agree with Tony's column last week. E.J. really isn't that out of line. I mean yes, he is in the kidnapping, blackmailing, and baby death-faking kind of way. But, whereas DiMeras usually pull out some total BS reason for hurting other people (see: Your sister broke my dad's heart so I'm going to make your family pay!), E.J. actually has a dang good reason for wanting revenge on some people. Thus, I'm not that mad at him. Does that make me a bad person? Before you answer I want you to know that I think all of you smell great and have excellent hair.

Furthermore, I don't believe that Stefano is just going to sit by and watch Rafe go after E.J. If anyone is going to mess with one of Stefano's children, it's going to be Stefano himself. Plus, if Rafe does best E.J. it will mean that Sydney and Johnny aren't going to be coming 'round the mansion that much longer and I don't see Stefano standing for that.

Next, how much do I love Anna? SO MUCH! Sure, I wish she'd double-check with Roman about whether her only two choices are to do what E.J. says or go to jail. But, I do like that she's smart enough to tell E.J. that Sami isn't going without a man for very long. E.J. might be a brilliant racecar driver/lawyer/businessman, but the dude knows squat about women.

Finally, I wish Sami would cool it with all the talk of Rafe being Sydney's father. And, it's not because I don't like Rafe. It's because Sami can speak quite intelligently about how blessed a little girl can be to have two father figures in her life.

But rather than let Sami have dialogue about her own life with Roman and John, Sami just says that Rafe is Sydney's father, too, because of Finders Keepers. It's like she's offering paternity to Rafe as some sort of incentive for him to stop throwing fits and come back home. Perhaps she should just try giving out Cheerios like every other mother in America.

CHLOE and DANIEL

Bwaaahahahaha! Let me get this straight. Chloe is now worried that her fianc is paying too much attention to another girl. Could Chloe be worried that Dr. Dan might not respect their commitment and might stray with Carly? Wowzers! It would it be a mother-frickin' Greek tragedy if Chloe had to endure the pain of watching someone she loves find comfort with another.

Okay, enough sarcasm. We all know that Bope can't stay apart for long. And, when they get back together, Carly will need a new triangle to call home. That's where Chloe and Daniel come in. Daniel and Carly have a daughter together and that will obviously add to the stress of Chloe's infertility. Boo. I actually wish the show would make Carly and Chloe friends since they could bond over unfairly being labeled the town slut.

LOOSE ENDS

Mia is still trying to convince Gabi that Chad can't commit. In reality, she should be more worried about whether or not I'll stay committed to this storyline. One scene a week is not enough to keep my attention.

Stefano and Victor met to redraw the territory lines. Apparently E.J. has been too busy kidnapping his own daughter to pay proper attention to his day job as a drug lord. It's all about balance, E.J.!

Extra Scoops:

RANDOM THOUGHTS

Ghost Lawrence is kind of an a-hole, huh?

E.J. is still legally married to Nicole. Bo is still legally married to Hope. Right? Just checking.

I'm constantly surprised when men on soaps are surprised to hear that they have a kid. Can these men not count backwards from 9?

Please forgive me Phelanie fans, but I can't take it when Philip goes all "the love of my life" on Melanie. Philip can't even claim that she's "the only girl he proposed to last year."

HOT

I thought Galen Gering's performance where Rafe broke down at his desk over Sydney's bloody clothes was excellent. I don't even care that they closed Tuesday's show and opened Wednesday's show with the same scene. It was so good, I wanted to see it twice. The one thing that I've always bought about Rafe's character was his skill as an agent. So, when he broke down because the one thing he's never doubted -- his ability to solve a case -- failed him, I finally believed his emotions. More scenes like this could do wonders for this Rafe-loathing scooper!

NOT

Quick history lesson for all you new DAYS writers out there: Chloe Lane grew up in an ORPHANAGE because her own mother gave CHLOE up for ADOPTION under dangerous circumstances when Chloe was a baby. Chloe's mom came back into her life when Chloe was a teenager and the two eventually patched things up to the point of being a happy nuclear family. Ergo, 1) Chloe should never be badmouthing a mother who was forced to give up a child. And 2) Chloe should not be someone so hung up on having biological children and not even considering adoption.

LINE OF THE WEEK Victor (to Vivian): The Three Stooges on crack could have come up with a better plan.

In conclusion, I'd like to thank my partner, Tony, for covering for me last week while I was away on business. We figured that one of us needed to travel to London to let Max know that his sister was shot. Since I don't want it ever to be said that I'm not a team player, I sucked it up and had a painfully long chat with the not-easy-on-the-eyes-at-all Darin Brooks and I'm happy to report that he'll be back for a quick visit to Salem very soon. I expect you all to be there too! *wink*

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