The final countdown!

Just when things were looking up, Tony fell down. Actually, he accidentally fell from some steps on the pier, crashed through a handrail, and was impaled on a sharp piece of wood. Ouch!

Oh!? Hi Days' Fans! Sorry, I didn't notice anyone was ready to read yet as I was busy enjoying my delicious Tyson's Anytizers. They are the hot, substantial snacks that are always perfectly delicious. Ok, I can't back that up. I got the info from the Tyson website, but don't you just love blatant product placement! Right. Moving on!

It's a wrap - March Sweeps has left the building! The good news? April storylines bring May Sweeps. That's always exciting! But, before I get ahead of myself, let's talk about last week's breaking news - the Count's days are numbered! Nope, it doesn't look so good for everyone's favorite DiMera black sheep. I guess when you start the week by getting slapped across the face it's never a good sign of things to come. So, let's talk about Tony's last few days and, more importantly, who he spent them with!

The Winner Takes A Fall (Tony & Company)

I mean, wow, I know being on top never lasts, but Tony's tenure was over before it began. Within a few days he declared independence, flaunted the fuel project, and planned to move to New York with the lovely Anna ... where is she anyway? Ok, back on track, just when things were looking up, Tony fell down. Actually, he accidentally fell from some steps on the pier, crashed threw a handrail, and was impaled on a sharp piece of wood. Serious ouch!

But, he's still clinging to life ... at least for the moment ... and that leaves many questions to be answered. What will he do with his borrowed time? Will he out Nicole? Will he point a finger at Philip? Will he succumb to Dr. Dan's patient loving charm and go on a date with him before its too late? Not sure. Yet, I am sure of one thing - the first smiling face he saw when he regained consciousness was none other than his sis-in-law to be ...

Nicole. Tony pushed her buttons early on in the week and she gave him the big 'ole above mentioned slap across the face! Ironically, even he couldn't find fault in Nicole's reaction and admitted he had it coming. He did. But, the serious part is that he's dangling Nicole's secret in front of her face and, let's face it, she's not one to mess with. Just ask Colin Murphy or Victor. Wait, Colin's dead, but Victor will surely fill you in ... just don't be anywhere near a bathtub when you ask as I've heard he still has a phobia of them.

Point being, Nicole is cornered and dangerous. I don't think even Brady will be able to talk her down from this ledge. She's scared. She's mad. She even took a drink to steady her nerves! And, aside from Brady, her only other backup is bumbling Mia. Side note: Yes, Ms. Mia, there is a difference between young and naive and just plain dumb, look into it, ok? Right, Nicole and Tony. She was pretty pleased to see him clinging to life and even dilly-dallied dialing 911 for help! She eventually did, yet now she's in super-major panic mode. Not good for Tony especially since she's alone with him in his hospital room thanks to the very bright guard who walked away from his post because he got a phone call. What an idiot! But, maybe he'll get fired and Rafe will get his job. That could be a silver lining, huh?

So, what will Nicole do next? Will she accidentally pull the cord to Tony's life support or wait to see what happens? I'm guessing the former, yet I hope not. Aside from the furry she'd face if caught, Nicole's a mom now. I think she needs to worry about her illegally obtained baby and try to stay out of the slammer. Sure, Tony's a loose end, yet murder is never a solution. Well, most of the time. However, whether or not she kills Tony, I highly doubt she'll stick up for the man who is bound to be blamed for his impending doom ...

Philip. He and Tony went a few rounds last week - both verbally and not-so-verbally. I really enjoyed their scenes together. In addition to being well performed by two great actors, they were poignant. Philip and Tony DO have a lot in common. Not only can they both be cocky and reek with a sense of entitlement at times, but, deep down, they're both rapidly searching for parental approval which they'll probably never get. Tony's learned that lesson. Philip, not so much yet.

However, I do need to make a side rant about how people treat Philip. And, to be fair, it's more of an inconsistency on the writers' part. Ok, here it goes ... it hard boils my eggs when characters act like he's had such a charmed, wonderful, stress free life full of relaxation and being spoon fed. Sure, he was spoiled and Philip can be a downright arrogant jerk-faced punk at times. No question about that. But, everyone seems to forget his jerk face was literally blown off, as was his leg, during tours of duty with the Marines. I'm talking bomb, explosion, no face, no leg. That's beyond horrifying. He's definitely faced unimaginable hardships. Therefore I think it's a little unfair how he's misjudged at times and it's also annoying that the writers don't remember his past ... all of his past. Ok, I'm done. End rant.

Philip didn't want any advice from Tony, he just wanted the fuel project. Taking no for an answer is not Dimples strong suite, but Tony brushed him off repeatedly. But, then the hammer fell - Victor not only fired Phil, but disowned him as well (more on that later)! Kind of like Nicole, Phil felt cornered too and tried to beat a yes out of Tony. That didn't turn out so hot either.

Actually, I was expecting more pizzazz from a fight between an aging count with a passion for fencing and an ex-Marine blindly obsessed with getting daddy's approval. But, Phil ended up with blood on his hands and I suspect that will be the ironic evidence that may get him into trouble. Lots and lots of trouble. Not only trouble with the authorities, but with a certain dangerous mobster I like to call ...

Stefano. The guy is so amusingly unhinged. His delusional way of looking at things is great. I mean, seriously, he exiled Tony to a deserted island for twenty years! That just screams best interest and I have no idea why Tony would be so upset about that. Stefano doesn't either. He just sees an ungrateful turncoat. Make sense. Rrriiiggghhhttt.

However, the big guy is about to eat his words. He uttered the one phrase that is sure to cause a great deal of guilt and pain. He said Tony was dead to him! Not a good sign for Tony's future nor is it a good sign for Philip, because, let's face it, someone is going to have to pay for Tony's accident whether it's their fault or not.

Yet, as much as I'm a little concerned for Philip, it will be an interesting fight as he's got Bo in his corner. Sure, Phil made the mess himself, but I'm happy anytime the writers remember Bo and Little Vic are actually related. Besides, he has backup to his backup - Hope, Roman and the rest of the Brady Bunch. Let the games begin!

In other Tony news ... unsurprisingly, E.J. still doesn't have a clue as to what's going on. Yet, props to him for trying to stick up for Tony. It was nice to see that he cares so much for his brother. Who knew? Tony also gets some props for seeing right through Nicole and Brady's plans to steal the blueprints. If more characters had a clue, Salem would be a lot more interesting! Way to go Tony! ... and sorry you're dying.

Dumped By Daddy (Philip & Victor)

Ah, memories! I can recall fondly when my dad fired me from our family's business then disowned me. It really made the next family gathering so much more interesting. However, I'm not going to harp on Victor for being so meanly impulsive, even though he was, because Kate and Brady did a great job of that for me. More so Kate, she really, I mean, really ripped into him with all of her pent up furry! You go girl!

So, instead of harping, I'm going to go out on a limb and say I highly doubt Philip's firing and disownment will stick. His job at Titan is like a boomerang. He keeps on going back to where he started from. I think once the dust settles Vic and Phil will have a hearty belly laugh, hug, and make up. Ok, probably not, but I do think Vic will eventually simmer down and welcome his son back to the business ... with some strings attached, of course.

Besides, even though he was a big old ball of meanness, Victor isn't going to let anyone hurt his kin whether he disowned them or not ... and if he does he's totally off my holiday card list. All in all, sure, Victor completely overreacted. Sure, Dimples tremendously screwed up and deserved to be reprimanded. But, Vic's a greedy, cranky tyrant and Phil's his little boy and you can't break a bond like that.

Undercover Angle? (Bo, Hope & Roman)

The cats out of the sack! The mystery man in Bo's visions is none other than Roman!? Yes, that Roman ... Roman Brady. I think Higley's playing an early April Fool's joke on us. At least I'm convincing myself of that. Sure, Hope had a crush on Roman many, many moons ago, but I'd say the past twenty plus years of loving Bo has put an end to that. Right?

Aside from a joke, I have a feeling if Bo's vision comes to fruition it's not going to be as sordid as it appears. My guess? I think that Hope and Roman will go undercover ... the police kind, not the kind that makes me want to throw up in my mouth. I even think there was a hint to that. Bo said he missed being out in the field because of his new position and Roman can still investigates cases. So, I think that maybe was an indictor of excuses to come. I really hope so at least.

Interestingly enough, Roman and Hope's nickname could be "Rope" (Roman + Hope). And that's ironic because if they do end up having a legit affair I want someone to tie up Higley and force her to read the "Don't Screw With Bope" manual. Let's pray things don't come to that!

To polish off things in "Bopeland," I have to admit I'm a bit frustrated with Bo. The past few weeks I've been irritated by Hope's change of attitude towards his visions. First she was supportive then that seemed to change, but I get her point of view now and I also changed my mind. Bo is kind of being an accusatory jerk. She's right, he was being lame when he broke their date. And, I feel bad for Hope that she basically has to keep assuring him of something she has no intentions whatsoever of doing. Apologizing for something you didn't do, heck that didn't even happen (yet), is downright frustrating. So, hang in there Fancy Face, Bo will come around ... and if he doesn't you always have Roman! Ugh.

Movin' On Out (Chelsea)

Max, Chelsea, and Theo were super cute! I'm also excited by the idea of an adult moving out of their parent's house. That rarely seems to happen in Salem. However, the dark cloud which is Rachel's looming departure makes it hard for me to get too excited. It also doesn't help that Chelsea seems to be caught up in these small, filler moments instead of a full-blown storyline. I assume the writers are winding things down for her, but, with the way they handle exits, I'm worried hers will be an out of the blue slap to the face instead of the blaze of glory she deserves. And, that's nothing to roar at.

Daydream Believers (Kate, Lucas, Chloe, Dr. Dan & Maggie)

I've been loving me some Kate lately, but there can be too much of a good thing. Last Tuesday's episode when she had not one ... not two ... but THREE fantasies of outing Chloe's secret was wayyy too much. The fantasy/dream trick is a little tired in general, but three times on the same day was not a charm. It was Yawnsville. Moving on ...

Kate spent the better part of her week trying to convince Lucas his marriage was hasty and gloating to Dr. Dan about the elopement. As much as I dig her recent revenge plot, I'm always glad when Lucas stands up to Kate. Sure, there's an eye-rolling aspect to it all as we know it won't last, but it's good to see him wear his big boy pants once in a while. Heck, you got to love him just for his line to Kate, "You should start doing greeting cards for people who get married - Congratulations on your wedding, sorry it won't last." Brilliant! Yet, aside from scolding Kate, Lucas is still steadily cruising for a big, hindsight's-going-to-be-a-bitch heartbreaking collision. And, at his side in that speeding car, are Chloe and his pal, Dr. Dan.

Speaking of him, Big Red doesn't hate Dr. Dan as much as she did before. Interesting. I have one warning for Maggie - under no circumstance should you look him directly in the eyes. Spring is mating season for slimy doctors and I'm not sure even you'll be able to resist his hypnotic charms or highlights.

Back to Kate ... she also had time to do a little plotting between digs at Chloe and Dr. D. With a little help from Google and Nurse Maxine, Kate's poison of choice seems to be, well, poison. I'm not too into Kate being a killer, but I strangely hope so in this case as the alternative reason as to why Chloe is sick is much more frightening. Let's look at the facts ...

Chloe was tired last week. Food made her nauseous. Whoops, she missed a dose of birth control. For the love of all things holy in Soapland please say it isn't so - Chloe might be pregnant!? I seriously hope not. I'm not ready for another "Who's the Daddy?" storyline. I'm still recovering from the "Duel E.J. Pregnancies" of '08 and the "Twins from Different Daddies" saga the year before that. I need a baby break.

But, for the record, if Chloe is pregnant, she's dumber and more irresponsible than I original thought. When is sleeping with two men without protection a good idea? Never, Chloemiester, never. Most people learn that in grade school around the same time they learn about sexually transmitted diseases. And, the fact that one of the two men she slept with possibly without protection is Dr. STDan himself makes her even dumber than dumb. Therefore, you could deduce, Chloe's mentality is around that of teenaged Mia's as she also had a "Whoops Baby" ... sorry, "Unexpected Miracle."

Yet, Chloe isn't the only guilty un-prophylactic using party involved. There are two guys who'd have to share the blame. First, Dr. Dan ... you know DOCTOR Dan who is a medical DOCTOR and should know a little something about birth control. Second, Lucas. You'd think becoming a teenage dad would have made him more cautions, but not so much. However, I'll give him a semi-pass because, after all, he was sleeping with the "woman of his dreams." Therefore a "baby of their dreams" probably wouldn't be as daunting for him as it would for the rest of that motley crew.

Say Hello Gracie (Sami & Company)

In a very sensible move, Sami spoke freely about Grace in the middle of the DiMera Mansion and, shock of all shocks, someone walked in and heard her. That someone was E.J. who immediately asked her what she was talking about. Sami's response? I'm adopting a baby. Oh, our little hot head never seems to learn!

Basically it went like this - Sami gave a sob story about missing her kids while away (true) and she bonded with an abandoned baby (kinda true?). E.J. responded with a combo of a little compassion and a lot of all out arrogance. He even questioned Sami's devotion to her other children! Yep, he got a much deserved slap for that. Then she replied with another loud declaration that they are over and only have Johnny in common. Right, 'cause that'll last long. However, a note of interest, he said Sami's compassion is one of the things he loves about her ... right in front of Nicole! Whoops!

All in all, this is turning out to be a big disaster. And, to make things worse, I fear Stefano is onto her scheme. Not only did he question her about who the father his, he's plotting to dig up information on the adoption and even wants to get Rafe's help in that! Not good.

Yet, Sami's bringing this all on herself by not thinking before she acts (or speaks). It's understandable why she wants to bring Grace home, but she should have listened to Rafe and thought up a fool proof plan first. Not only that, she should have told some of her family. Sure, they probably would've given her the same "you already have three kids, you're doing it on your own" speech as E.J. gave her, yet I suspect they will be supportive in the long run. But a little heads up, I'm "adopting a baby" never hurts. I'm already dreading this hissy fit Will is sure to have over Grace.

The Godfather, Part II (Rafe & Sami)

Tony isn't the only new godfather in Salem as Sami asked Rafe to stand up for Grace. It was cute and well intended, he's happy, but, again, things were a bit rushed. Sami is doing this entire thing backwards ... first tell the family then spring the pup from the pound and then have a Christening. Well, I guess she got the last parts right.

At least things seem pretty right between her and Rafe despite the fight they had in the beginning of the week. He accused her of being hasty and stubborn. She proclaimed she was just worried about Grace. Then, she heard from Abe that Rafe turned down the lucrative job with the NYPD and they shared a steamy make-up kiss! Actually, they shared several of them! Sami is also starting to get a few details about Rafe's past. Sister Agnes told her that there's been tragedy in Rafe's life, but didn't elaborate. What could his secret be? Hmm ...

Hot & Not

Hot: Three cheers for cheesy lines! It was only a matter of time before Brady and Rafe met and I'm so glad the writers didn't let that opportunity pass without one wink, wink, nudge, nudge nod to Eric and Galen's days on Passions. When Sami asked if Brady had met Rafe, he responded, "We've met, we've met. We're old friends now." Extra cheese? Oh yeah! But, fun! Yet, the idea of Brady and Rafe becoming friends is a good one as it bridges several storylines nicely. Not only that, but it also gives Rafe more to do than just orbit Planet Sami.

Not: It's sad enough that Leann Hunley is leaving Days soon, but not having Anna around for Tony's final days is like rubbing, grinding, and smearing salt into an already open wound. It's really robbing fans of a chance to say goodbye to this beloved couple. I'm sure she'll pop up within the next few weeks, but I feel cheated by not getting some Tony and Anna time while he was healthy. Leann and Thaao have such fun, great chemistry and the chances of seeing that again are slim to none now. Not cool.

Line of the Week:

"This is just too perfect. My father hands over power to a man who didn't even know his wife wasn't pregnant. Not exactly on top of things, was he? But, how did you get around that Nicole? I mean, how many cold showers did that poor man have to take?" Tony to Nicole. And, yes Tony, we've been asking ourselves that for a long time now.

Honorable Mention:

"What are you going to do? Challenge me with your lightsaber young Padawan?" Tony to Philip. That line goes out to my wonderful Scooping partner ... she'd never forgive me if I didn't mention a Star Wars nod.

Ironic Statement of the Week:

"... She was looking forward to a big affair - event!" Dr. Dan to Lucas about Kate's disappoint on not having a big wedding for him and Chloe.

Character Updates:

Double score! We got a little update on both John and Nick last week! Sweet! Well, bittersweet. John's condition is improving ... he's talking more and his eyebrows are almost ready to convey emotions again. As for Nick, things aren't as good. He's locked in the Psych Ward and can't receive visitors. I guess that means he won't get the cake with a file baked in it that I sent him. Drats! Well, anyway, let's wish them both a speedy recover and an even speedier return to Salem!

Randomness ...

So Tony took a serious fall, yet survived and ended up in the I.C.U. That sounds interestingly similar to what happened to Andre. Hmm ...

Why do a lot of parents in Salem seem to have huge problems with their GROWN children moving out, yet give no thought to shipping their kids off to boarding school as soon as they can walk? Ironic, isn't it?

Chelsea mentioned co-worker Mark! Ok, fine! I'll give it up.

Did anyone else catch Darin Brooks (Max) on the Bonnie Hunt Show? He seems like a cool cat. Yet, did you notice him dodge the "How long are you staying on Days" questions? Uh-oh, not a good sign!

Parting Thoughts ...

So friends and Days fans, that's "Two Scoops" for the week of March 30th! As April Fool's Day is my favorite holiday I encourage everyone to have fun and lie! Wait, that didn't come out right. I encourage everyone to tell a good-natured fib to someone with a sense of humor! That's better. I also encourage everyone to read Laurisa's column next week as she cleans up our Sweep's hangovers, "That's a fact!"

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