Dial D for deception

In a not-so-shocking twist of fate, it was revealed last week that none other than ole' Stefano DiMera was behind Mayor Marino's murder!

I won't lie. I was tardy turning in my column this week. So, I apologize if it was posted a little later than normal. But, the darndest thing happened to me. I couldn't find my laptop! I searched high and low. I looked under couch cushions. I rooted through each desk drawer. I even peeked under my bed. Nope, nothing but some spare change and a dust bunny. Then it spontaneously dawned one me - I left it in the freezer! D'oh! Don't you just hate when you put electronic devices in the refrigerator and forget about them!? I mean really, who is stupid enough to do something like that!? Oh, wait ... moving on ...

Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone! And, welcome to "March Sweeps," Week Two! I can't admit there was a ton of action, but I can say there were tons of lies told, accusations made, and odd character combos sharing some screen time. Lucas and Dr. Dan chatting at the Cheatin' Heart? Will and Max sharing a heartfelt reunion? Mel and Tony teaming up!? Ok, not sure about the last one just yet, but I am sure there's a lot to discuss, so let's get discussing!

The Man Behind The Murder (Stefano & Company)

In a not-so-shocking twist of fate, it was revealed that none other than ole' Stefano DiMera was behind Mayor Marino's murder! I'll be honest, at first I thought this was a major letdown. Blaming Stefano seemed like an easy scapegoat. "Oh, a bad thing happened in Salem. Let's blame Stefano!" Been there, done that ... or so I thought.

Upon further pondering, a chat with Laurisa, and a mighty strong, um, soft drink, I managed to find the silver lining. But, before I reveal what shined, I need to kvetch. The big problem I had with Stefano ordering the hit is that it's very un-Stefano like. I.E. he holds family sacred and also holds Sami in a strange regard, so I don't know if I can fully believe he would want her killed. Then again, he is a crazy mo-fo and, normally, crazy trumps loyalty.

Ok, my second complaint. By Stefano being the "bag guy" it dumbs down the entire plot. It just didn't seem Mr. Killer was overly informed about Sami. Actually, it didn't seem like he knew much about her at all ... certainly not as much as one would think considering Stefano knows a lot about Sami and could've easily informed Mr. Killer. Then again, I'm sure there was a shady network of third parties involved passing, or not passing, information to and from. So, therefore maybe I'm just reading too much into things. I've been known to do that from time to time.

The silver lining? One thing, it proves Sami is pretty justified by not telling E.J. about "Grace." We all knew Stefano was capable of anything before, but having the mayor murdered was a gruesome reminder of just how dangerous he can be. It also reiterates her choice had nothing to do with E.J.'s skills as a father. Her issues have always been with Stefano and now that's re-warranted. Ironically, Grace might be in trouble after all as Stefano had Nicole followed to the convent! Yep, things could get ugly, not only for the baby, but for Nicole and Sami too! Yet, I'd love it if hose two teamed up to stop Steffie ... now that could be interesting!

The second thing that shines - this reveal brings everything back to Brady vs. DiMera. That feud has been such a staple to the show and, although it got a bit irritating at times, this round is gearing up to be pretty intense. Besides, it's already brought several of the vets back to the front burner and there's nothing wrong with that! I mean, wow, we actually got to see Roman, Sami, Bo AND Hope all in the same scene - together! Again, nothing wrong with that!

And, not only will the Brady Bunch be furious with Stefano, but I suspect there might be some internal turmoil as well. Aside from the entire "his children could have been harmed" aspect, something tells me that E.J. won't be too happy with his dear old dad for putting a hit out on his favorite blond spitfire. Whoops! I meant second favorite blond spitfire. Sorry about that, Nicole.

Finally, it will also be interesting to see if Roman remains front and center throughout the investigation. Before John came to town, Roman was Stefano's number one adversary so perhaps history is coming full swing. Only now, Roman has back up - Rafe's in his corner and Fancy Face is back on the force! Combine that with Bo, Abe and, well, not Steve anymore, but, regardless, Team Brady could pose a serious threat to Team DiMera. Yet, the ball's still up in the air on this one so, really, it's anyone's game!

This Badge's For You (Hope & Bo)

I never doubted that Hope wouldn't get her badge back, but I'm still thrilled she did! Hope and the force go together like Alice and doughnuts! Yay! Bo, however, isn't as thrilled to see her back on the force as he fears she might jump into bed with Rafe! Hope and Rafe!? Nah. Highly doubt that. However, I'm sure even if they do end up doing the mattress mambo there'll be some logical explanation like ... um ...yes, like, they were abducted, taken to a submarine, brainwashed, and coaxed into having sex because they think they're former lovers. See, logical.

Pick-A-Little, Talk-A-Little (Sami & Company)

Speaking of Rafe, Sami just couldn't get him off her mind last week! Then again, those feelings seemed pretty mutual. Awe, love is in the air! Cute.

Sami also couldn't stop herself from trying to help him in the most Sami-ish way possible - plowing through people until she got what she wanted. When Roman couldn't help him get a job with the force, she went to Abe. But then an interesting thing happened, Rafe stepped in and told her he would take care of things. Eventually, he went to Roman himself, but I thought it was note worthy that he stood up to Sami and she actually backed off (as much as Sami can back off that is). That makes me wonder if she hasn't met her match after all. Hmm ...

Ironically, Roman did help Rafe get a job ... with the Anti-Terror Task Force ... in New York City! No worries, he turned it down. He's not leaving Salem (Read: he's not leaving Sami). But, with that job offer off the table and his FBI career kaput, I can't help by to think he'll conveniently end up one of the boys in blue at the Salem P.D. I, for one, wouldn't mind that at all! Besides, the poepoe need a first basemen ... and, yes, now we know why they're too busy to solve crimes.

Ok, back to Ms. Sami Gene! She had other run-ins last week too! Things started out with a trip to the convent. She wanted to know all about the woman who was with Grace. Oh boy! If she only knew stuff would certainly hit the fan! However, Sister Theresa soothed her concerns to a point, but Sami is really starting to freak out about not being with her baby girl. Don't blame her. Yet, I'm a worried that Sami's a bit rusty these days. Normally, she would have a foolproof plan by now, but it doesn't seem like her scheming wheels are turning yet. Maybe Rafe will swoop in and save the day again as he seems pretty invested in little Grace too. Just a thought.

Aside from a clash with Nicole, Sami also had a chat with her dad, a scrap with Lucas and, of course, talked with Will. Side note, all three men seemed to pick up on her hots for a certain ex-FBI agent. End side note, back to Sami and Will ... he seemed a little worried about his mother's latest love interest. I can gave his concerns a pass, they're pretty well warranted. As are his concerns that she's up to something. He's pretty perception and smart enough to learn lessons from history.

Yet, I think he needs to get to know Rafe before totally pegging him as another lost cause. Rafe's definitely the antithesis of E.J. and that's a big plus right off the bat. And, Rafe's definitely more fun than bland old Austin. Plus, sure, they're conspiring, but it's conspiring for a good cause this time. I think that will shock Will in a good way. All and all, I'd like to see Will accept that both his parents moved on ... scheming to get parents back together is so '06. Then again, Sami pulled similar schemes at sixteen, so maybe history is coming full circle. Again, hmm ...

Mo Money, Mo Problems (Nicole)

Nicole's week wasn't all smooth sailing with her "Euro Trash" lovah despite their roll in the hay and gushy vows of love. The least of her problems - she had to cover her tracks after asking E.J. for more money for the wedding. Luckily, he's handsome, but not all that bright these days and bought her excuse. Weddings are expensive. Sure, that works.

However, her problems only got larger. Much larger! The first one - Philip's out to get E.J. and she's likely to become road kill on his cruise down Revenge Road. Like always, Nicole turned to the one man who has proved time and again that he'll unconditionally support her - E.J.! Wait, that's not right ... she turned to Brady! That's more like it. He promised to help her, shocker, and she seemed pretty grateful. She even gave him a quick smooch as thanks. Maybe it's just me, but I think she was a little thrown off by that very quick peck. Anyone else catch a possible ... "I kinda liked that" vibe from her? Just wondering.

But, Dimples wasn't her only concern as the Black Market baby broker we all know and love showed up. Yep, Dr. Baker is back! Sort of. I have to admit, he made me chuckle a bit when he rattled her cage ... those two are pretty fun together. Back to the point, he showed up with some hot of the press news - he closed the clinic and is heading to Detroit. Just like that? I don't think so. Something tells me we haven't seen the last of him. I think Nicole agrees.

Oh, yeah, Nicole also vowed to bring Sami down for leaving Grace at the convent. She gets a point for actually caring about Grace, yet I smell a tiny bit of hypocrisy. After all, she ditched Grace in favor of Sydney.

Lastly, together Nicole and Lucas crack me up, but she was hardly laughing when he said that Sydney reminded him of Ali! That got me wondering - is that because both Syd and Ali look like Sami or do they both look like E.J.? Was there yet another lab mix up back when Ali's paternity was discovered? Again, I wonder.

The Worms Ate My Fuel Project! (Team DiMera vs. Team Kiriakis)

Whoops! Someone deleted the Titan mainframe. Yep, ALL of their computer files were destroyed including the coveted Alternative Fuels Project. Again, whoops! Philip immediately blamed E.J. and went to confront him. Unsurprisingly, Junior didn't admit to anything, yet celebrated with Stefano once Dimples left. Needless to say, I think the DiMera Family might have been behind things. Just a hunch.

More than anything, the computer crash brought out Philip's anger, desperation and vulnerability. In fact, he was so angry that he threatened to kill E.J.! I'm beginning to sense this is a pattern with Philip as just last year he declared he would kill Paul Hollingsworth if he crossed him. I'm a bit worried about his stability. I think one of his only anchors to reality at the moment is Stephanie and, thankfully, she decided to stick with him. Score one for a happy, non-related couple!

Although, Philip may need more than Stephanie's support as he's planning a revenge tactic - he's going to tell E.J. all about the "affair" Brady and Nicole are having! Ironically, Philip is about to throw a stick of dynamite in E.J.'s lap, although he doesn't know just how explosive the fallout will be if E.J. keeps searching for the truth. This could work in his favor ... if he's not fired, killed or institutionalized in the meantime.

In other corporate news, Brady and Mel had a few "meetings." In the beginning of the week, he comforted her with kind words and a game of darts. By the end of the week, he coldly accused her of working with the DiMeras and planting the virus! Ironically, Mel isn't guilty of either of those things, but, shocker, she was blamed anyway. Now Brady, one of the only people who had any compassion for her, has turned against her. Not good. And, she's broke! Oh, yes, and E.J. gave her a tongue lashing and kicked her out. But, because of that, there seems to be an interesting alliance about to form - Mel and Tony! He heard E.J. verbally bashing her and witnessed her abrupt exit. Tony seemed pretty interested in her plight when he approached her so I can't wait to see what that's all about!

Here Dumbs the Bride ... (Chloe)

I'll start by giving Chloe some props. Awkward moments aside, I thought she dealt with Will pretty well. Mostly, she was honest with him. She told him his parent's aren't going to happen again. They've both moved on. If there're two things Will needs helpings of it's honesty and reality. He's not quite stomping his feet and demanding his parents get back together like he use to do, but he's verging on it. It was nice that she let him speak his mind, yet was frank with him and didn't try to sooth his teenaged angst with "nothing is wrong," "thing will work out" clichs. And, that's where her props end.

Although her intentions were good-ish, albeit a little selfish, listening to Chloe give advice is like getting a pep talk from Debbie Downer. It's hard to take her seriously especially since she's still convincing herself marrying, no, eloping with Lucas is the best remedy to her problems. I think Nicole should be jealous as Chloe's new best friend seems to be denial. Yep, Chloemiester, Lucas seeing you in your wedding dress is the only thing wrong with the entire scenario. Rrriiiggghhhttt.

Bros and Hos (Lucas & Dr. Dan)

After fighting with Chloe about her need to "get things over with" as soon as possible, Lucas went to the best place ever for a recovering alcoholic to clear their head and think. Nope, he didn't go to an AA meeting. Nope, he didn't go to the waterfront where it seems Brady is always lingering to give someone a shoulder to cry on. And, nope, he didn't go to see Maggie. He went to a bar. Yep, really. If it wasn't for several other head scratching "what the heck just happened" moments last week, I would have really questioned this, but I'll move on ...

While at the Cheatin' Heart, Lucas McLush ran into none other than Dr. Dan who gave him all sorts of advice on Chloe. You're right, it was awkward. Ironically, he did make some valid points. He encouraged Lucas to fight for their relationship because Chloe was such a special lady ... excuse while I dry heave for a second. Ok, so, he urged Lucas not to give up and so on and so forth. Like Chloe, now that Dr. Dan's spoken with God and has gotten a little "clarity" he thought it was alright to help Lucas. Denial or simply dumb? Not sure.

But, I guess if I didn't know anything about Dr. Dan's relationship with Chloe, I would have bought his spiel too. But I do, so his hypocritical advice made me a little nauseous. Despite being a great doctor, he's simply sort of a spineless sleaze ball as he had the perfect moment to confess, yet didn't. And, because he (among other people) didn't say anything, Lucas put on his gee-golly-wiz happy face, rushed home, and is about to whisk away his blushing bride. That is, unless someone stops them!

Wicked Ways (Kate)

I have a confession - I'm crushing on Kate right now! Lauren Koslow was simply off the hook last week! She managed to take Kate's malicious actions right to the brink, but reel them in before they toppled over the edge. Or, before she revealed her cards. Smart move. Heck, she even seemed to make Victor wince at the cruel severity of her plans. Yep, she's on to something!

I should also admit, normally when Kate interferes in her children's lives it's annoying, but this time I'm behind her. Well, sure, she should just tell Lucas the truth, but where's the fun in that? Her evil, vindictive tactics are so much fun to watch! Let's just say, after last week, she has Chloe and Dr. Dude tangled up in her web right where she wants them! It was pretty delightful, let's discuss ...

First up, Chloe! Kate basically took her on a full fledged guilt trip. She patted her back and acted concerned after bumping into her at the hospital. She even suggested a little shopping trip so the two could bond. Awe! In a nut shell, Chloe has no freaking clue Kate knows what she did. Chloe simply has extreme guilt that's eating away at her sanity. Mission accomplished, Kate! Good bad work!

Second, Dr. Dan! Kate also had him squirming in his seat. Although, he didn't seem as guilt ridden as Chloe was, I have to disagree with Kate - he did look tense and irritable. I would be too if I was caught in a major lie and my only defense was to dodge questions. That doesn't scream guilty at all. Right. Yet, I kind of think maybe he was questioning her motives a bit in addition to his squirming and dodging. Maybe he's onto her being onto him.

One thing's for sure, she definitely rattled his cage when she suggested they get back together! What a great ploy to throw him off her trail and to see how he'd react. He gave their second chance a big no. She hardly seemed heartbroken. I highly doubt that anyone believed for a second that she'd actually want to reconcile with Dr. Dan ... well except maybe Dr. Dim himself. She simply played like a fiddle and made him uncomfortable! Again, mission accomplished.

The only curve ball Kate wasn't expecting is that Lucas and Chloe decided to elope! That seemed to freak her out a bit ... and by freak her out I mean she snapped at Will and looked more crazed than normal. Yet, something tells me that she's not exactly ready to cash in the chips. Odds are, Mama Kate is gonna end up in Vegas! As long as she's not mistaken for an escaped tiger from the Siegfried and Roy Show since her claws are out, she should manage to pounce on Chloe before they make it to the alter!

Hot & Not

Hot: Unless the Higley Rgime tosses us a major curve ball, Rafe is turning out to be a pretty cool cat. Actually, what prompted him to get the "Hot of the Week" Award is that he did something not many people do in Salem - he took responsibility for his own actions! Yep, he told Sami that he went along with all of her schemes own accord. Sure, you can tell he's new in town, but I think it's pretty refreshing when someone owns up to their mistakes. Other Rafe props? He said that, "A man would walk out of that house" in regards to E.J. being such a daddy's boy. Ouch, snap! But, totally true! Last, but not least, Rafe promised to bring down Stefano in order to protect Sami! Although that's a huge promise I'm not entirely sure he's going to be able to keep, his intentions are good and I couldn't help but let a gooey, smitten "Awe!" slip out.

Not: Wow! I can't even express how much Chelsea's actions disappointed me. I can totally understand why she was upset. She can't have children and that's a crushing diagnosis. She even spoke to Dr. Feel Good and he reconfirmed there's no hope. Sad, sad. Yes, I 100% get that ... but ... BUT ... she broke up with Max because of that without even an explanation until he cornered her!? Really!? That was lame on several levels. Not only has Max always been supportive of her (hiding Ford Decker's body, anyone?), but, as he wisely pointed out, they were both adopted! Yes, they were both adopted! Not to mention both Max and Chelsea were happily adopted. Wait, I already stated that, but I felt the need to reiterate the fact. Despite the fact I'm over members of the same family dating, that was still a dumb reason to end things, Swamp Baby. Upset? Totally justified. Breaking up without explaining to a guy who's always been supportive? Not so cool. At all. I'm sad enough that Rachel Melvin is leaving the show, but now I just hope the writers don't ruin her character before she makes it out the door.

Line of the Week:

"Uh, Chloe, I said I wish there was something I could do 'cause I was supposed to say that. I really don't want to do anything," Will's response to Chloe's suggestion that maybe he could help her. Will, my boy, you get major points for honesty.

Randomness ...

Wow! "Opera Bitch" got her wedding dress awfully fast. No second, third ... fifteenth fitting? It just fit like that? Chloe's pretty lucky, most of the gals I know end up being white, fluffy pincushions for quite a long time.

I'm surprised Will and Brady haven't ran into each other yet. Both of them seem to do nothing but wonder around the pier and bump into people. Maybe they should talk Mickey and Steve into forming a quartet and start singing for the entertainment of passersby.

Does anyone else feel that Nicole seriously needs to stop rehashing her schemes out loud!? Just the fact that the DiMera Mansion's foyer is busier than Grand Central Station should be an indicator to shut up. Note to Nicole: Shhh!

Sami can't date because E.J. will never accept a guy she's with because of Johnny!? Sounds, um, logical. Rrriiiggghhhttt!

Days has been great lately, no doubt, but I want to know which writer put character's names in a hat, picked two, and decided they should have a scene together. Example - Max and Will. That was all shades of awkward. A teenager in a bar that doesn't serve food? Relatives who never had screen time together having such a warm reunion? Ok, it was just odd on levels I can't describe, but it also made me feel a little robbed that we didn't see Will's reunion with Roman, Kate or even Caroline. Not to mention it was so seriously contrived simply to get Chelsea to walk in and hear them. Nice try writers, but not so much.

Did anyone else notice Rafe and Lucas size each other up at the Brady Pub!? Funny stuff!

Parting Thoughts ...

So friends and Days fans, that's "Two Scoops" for the week of March 16th! I hope the luck of the Irish comes a smilin' down upon ye all ... or something like that, Shawn Sr. had a much better way with Irish blessings than I do. Moral of the story - don't take wooden nickels, drink lots of green beer, dance a jig or two, read Laurisa's column next Monday, and have a great St. Patrick's Day - "That's a fact!"

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