April sweeps?

Within a minute of walking in the door, with her new pooch Pookie in tow, Nicole had the House of Kiriakis shaking more than the martini she demanded from Henderson this past week.

Wow, what a week in Salem! I had to check my calendar to make sure it wasn't May Sweeps time. It's not by the way - Days was just THAT good! I hardly know where to begin!? There were returns and a recast and revelations and revenge plots unfolding and a little romance and, although not an "R" word, comedy and ... and ... and cheese puffs! There were cheese puffs a plenty! I mean, really, how can it get better than that!

Henderson do you want to tell them why I liked it? Umm ... Henderson? ... I'm waiting. Ok, I guess that only works for Victor. Anyway, I'm like a dog off its leash darting from place to place in sheer excitement. So let's just jump in and see where we end up!

... And Her Little Dog Too (Nicole)

It should come as a no surprise that I would talk about Nicole's return first. I've been looking forward to it since I found out and I wasn't disappointed at all! Within a minute of walking in the door, with her new pooch Pookie in tow, she had the House of Kiriakis shaking more than the martini she demanded from Henderson - who also came out of the woodworks this week! Arianne Zuker looks wonderful and she seamlessly stepped back into the bitchy, gold digging shoes of Nicole. Welcome back!

I'll talk about her interaction with everyone else at the dinner party later, but, first, let's discuss her breakfast with Chloe. Way back when Mrs. "I Didn't Kill My Husband" Black returned I wrote that I'd love to see these two square off now that she's a little less of a singing do-gooder and more of a diva and, yah, I got my wish and it was good! Ok, I'm not a fan of adults resorting to chucking croissants, but their bitch-a-thon had me checking myself for scratch marks as their razor sharp claws were all the way out!

FYI, my next statement has nothing to do with my fondness of Nicole ... Chloe has a very warped sense of reality if she thinks she was a helpless victim during the entire calamity that was the "Scar Storyline." No question about it - Nicole did horrible things to her, but what Chloe did to her family, friends and "the love of her life" Brady Black was just a cruel, if not more so. She faked her death because of a scar! Ok, I have a heart and insecurities so I can sympathize a little, but ... she faked her death because of a scar! Just a tad extreme, doncha think Chlomiester? I side with Victor on this one and am going to sit back and enjoy the fight as these two tear each other apart!

Mr. Henderson Presents (The Kiriakis Family)

My only gripe about Ron Leath's return as Victor's faithful butler Henderson is that every time he rattled off the ingredients to one of the tasty dishes he was serving it made me hungry! I really want chocolate cake now! Seriously tough, it was a nice treat to see him back in action, although I'm not sure if he'd agree. What started off as a classy, semi-uncomfortable dinner party ended up being a brawl that needed a referee rather than a matre d'.

Let's just say if looks could kill we should be mourning Chloe right now as Victor's optical daggers were slicing and dicing her. Then his verbal attack began! I almost, almost, felt bad for her. Almost. Ok, not really, whether she's guilty of actually harming Brady or not, I'm with Victor on this one too. She's been a bit ungrateful and demanding since she returned - not the worried wife one would expect if their beloved husband has been missing for months. Granted, her means of finding him herself are pretty limited, I'll giver her that, but she only seems concerned after someone else brings it up first. Perhaps I'm just transferring my frustrations with the lack of storyline progress out on her as its been simmering way to long on the back burner. The smell of scorched "Missing Brady" is starting to get nauseating. The writers need to bring this bad boy to a boil and sever up some meaty storyline stew already.

So Nicole's back! Did I mention that? Victor certainly noticed and was certainly annoyed to say the very least. I couldn't help but crack up at all the vicious jabs they took at each other. Unfortunately for him they're still legally married and Nicole's not one to back away from any ploy that might mean some money in her pocket so this has the potential of getting a whole lot nastier! Oh this should be fun to watch!

Speaking of fun, err, funny, Chelsea's Kiriakis genealogy explanations to Dr. Dan amidst the chaos were also hysterical! I wished she would have been fully recovered from her surgery and/or not bicycling through Smittenville because if she was 100% up to par and not worried about impressing Dr. Dan I'm sure she would have been stabbing at Nicole and Chloe with her wonderful sword of sarcasm. I'll raise my cyber wine glass and toast to Chelsea taking them on once she's back to her old self!

However, not as amusing were some of the good doctor's comments to the women at the dinner party. Sure, telling Kate she has a great body, praising Chloe's voice (among other things) and calling Nicole hot are compliments, but they were a little out of place ... I think. I'm not sure. I can't put my finger on it just yet. In the interest of full disclosure, I've sobered up from my moments of being drunk off Dr. Dan's heroic actions, but I still like him for the most part and would hate to see him become another sketchy Salem newbie. Mysterious bad boy with a heart of gold, cool. Nasty playboy with a shady agenda, not cool, rad or gnarly.

One last thing ... did anyone else's Spidey Senses start to tingle when Dr. Dan talked about helping an Italian man's daughter in Europe? Stefano is Italian, but since Lexie is his only living daughter that we know about and over the last few years she's either been cheating on Abe or stranded in a tunnel that ruled her out. Then it hit me - Italian - Vitali! That combined with Ava's headaches had me putting my pointer finger to my chin and humming, "Hmm?"

What Ever Happened To Ava Baby? (Ava, Steve, Hope and ... Max?)

This week some new revelations were made regarding Salem's resident psychopath. While flipping through Ava's scrapbook Hope discovered she used to be the successful president of Transworld Corporation. We learned that Steve's is being blamed for causing the "pain in her head." We also found out that she has a softer side when both Steve and Hope berated her with the details of the plane crash. Hats off to the Days' writing team for remembering there were three victims! Way to go guys!

Anyway, so Little Miss Crazy Pants went to the cemetery to lay some flowers at Shawn Sr.'s grave and bumped into ... Max. Huh? Ok, she's insane and Max pops up like "Where's Waldo" these days so it kinda made sense. Kinda. I could only come up with two possible reasons for this. They either wanted to show her sympathetic side for an attempt at redemption down the road and/or let Max see her so that eventually he can put the face and name together and potentially save the day. That should help his recent self-esteem issues!

Though once she picked Steve up and brought him "home" the drama really started! Hope and Steve played pretend yet Ava didn't seem to catch on as quickly as Angelo did. She also lied to Hope about sleeping with Steve when in reality she passed out. I have a feeling something's physically wrong with her and she's not inherently crazy. The plot is definitely thickening and becoming a lot more interesting.

Handle With Care (Kayla and Bo)

And speaking of interesting it finally happened! I mean FINALLY happened! Kayla found out about Ava and guess what? She and the baby are fine! She's worried, but fine. Mary Beth Evans knocked it out of the park in the scenes were she demanded to know the truth. I'm thankful this cat is finally out of the bag, yet I have a bad feeling the next step is going to be Kayla and Bo wincing and cramping their way through a little adventure to find their spouses. They need to take their respective daughters' advice and stay in bed. I 100% agree with Laurisa's statements last week - I'd rather see Bo recover completely and let someone else be the hero this time. I'm sure the Brady siblings' arguments will be that Kayla is a doctor and can look after Bo and he will look after her, but, seriously, they both need to relax as best they can and call Roman and/or Abe as Laurisa suggested. By the way, where has Roman been lately?

Warning! Proceed With Caution (Bo, Dr. Dan and Chelsea)

Aside from a nice visit with Caroline and Ciara (although she wasn't shown), Bo had a few friendly words with Dr. Dan about Chelsea's "school girl" crush on him. Dr. Dan assured him that his intentions were honorable and they simply bonded in a patient/doctor kind of a way, but Bo was quick to point out that she isn't his patient anymore. As Hope might say, "Good catch Brady!"

However, after soothing Bo's concerns, Dr. Dan was quick to accept Chelsea's giggly invitation to the Java Caf. Hmm. I'm not sure how I feel about this in general, but the one thing that has me worried at this point is Chelsea's sudden fever at the end of Friday's show. This has all the makings of her hiding a potentially life threatening setback from everyone. I'm not advocating a relationship between them, but if she wants to impress Dr. Dan passing out in her cappuccino might not be the way to do it. Even if she doesn't want to tell him she should mention something to either Lexie or her Aunt Kayla. Then again, that would be sensible. Never mind.

Start Spreading The News (The Sorority Gang, Nick and Max)

Prior to making a date with Dr. Dan, Chelsea was visited by her boyfriend Nick, Stephanie and Max. Oh yah, and a gushy, giggly, overly enthusiastic Morgan coincidentally popped up as well just in time to hear Nick's big announcement - he received two grants for the environmental thingamajig he wants to create! I'm thrilled for him, really I am, but this is a snooze fest. I would've been just as bored listening to him as Stephanie and Chelsea obviously were and I'm totally puzzled as to why Morgan was so gaga over his explanation. It's great that she's supporting her "sisters" boyfriend, but she was laying it on a little thick. Then there was Max's reaction to the news ...

Shady's Back, Back Again (Max)

"Shady Max" reemerged upon hearing about the grant approval, but used his secret genius intuition to bolt before Nick started going on and on and on about the details. Smart guy. Actually its becoming more obvious that he is in fact a smart guy, a brilliant one perhaps. I really want to like this storyline as it has some potential. First, Darin Brooks is a good actor and there's something very likeable about him that makes you want to root for him. Next, I can certainly identify with going through a "mid-twenties" crisis and trying to figure out what to do with your life after being confident that you knew (he perhaps thought he'd always be racing). Finally, I can sympathize and see where adding mourning to the mix would make it extra hard. But, but, there's something missing and I just can't get into it for some reason despite wishing I could.

Daysopoly (Philip and John)

So Morgan's beaux (that's me wishful thinking) Philip showed up at John's place to gloat about Paul Hollingsworth being indicted on graft charges. Whoopsie! It looks like the man in John's pocket got picked up by the poepoe, but that didn't seem to phase him, which I shouldn't be surprised about, and he warned Philip that their turf war is still on. Phil said it best, it's sort of pointless when they could both continue to profit from the docks, but I can see John's side too. His life has been controlled by others *cough Stefano* and he needs to take the reigns on something. Then again John's hands are going to get really full, really fast ...

The DiMera Bunch (John, Marlene, Sami, E.J. and Dr. Rolf)

Enter Marlena, Sami, E.J. and the twins! If nothing else, this storyline is simply hilarious! Sure, it's absurd that Marlena would want to live in a house where she's been held hostage several times, yet there was hardly a moment when I wasn't giggling at something being said or a strange reaction on someone's face so I set aside that logical thinking. John and Dr. Rolf's banter over his accent, his butler duties and the way John keeps waving the "I can send you back to jail" card over his head were all very funny! And you know what - go John! He said it best, "revenge is sweet," and he certainly deserves to get some! He just better act quickly because once the "Old John" resurfaces he's likely to take the high road.

In general, Dr. Rolf is over the top! When he kept offering everyone cheese puffs I nearly lost it especially after hearing John's response, "I must commend you. You have a way with cheese puffs." Dr. Rolf also had a few "Benson" moments when the doorbell rang and he looked so put off by having to answer it. Of course, Marlena and Sami's reactions to him were also priceless as was the look on Sami's face when she found out her mom pulled a gun on him. "I was just trying to make a point," Marlena calmly replied. Are you kidding me!? Freaking hysterical! Seriously, if Days spun these characters off into a weekly sitcom I'd watch!

Mr. And Mrs. Spunky (Sami, E.J., Maggie AND Mickey)

To further talk about things completely out of order, before they decided to freeload at John's place, Sami and E.J. were forced to play another round of The Newlywed Game with the INS guy. Their comedic chemistry had me rolling on the floor. From the moment he burst into the door exclaiming, "Honey, I'm home!" to the raw fish to the sly jabs to the nose tweaking and foot stomping I enjoyed every minute!

Yet, aside from their new living arrangements, the other big news that came out of this is that E.J. is going to be a partner at Mickey's law firm given he passes a probation period. At first I thought I'd have to list the reasons why we have to suspend reality to actually believe he's a state certified lawyer all of the sudden then I remembered one important thing - E.J. was born in 1997, yah, he's technically 11, so, yah, reality went out the window ages ago where he's concerned. He's a grown up lawyer now? Sure, I'm cool with that. He floated into Salem on a giant cloud of cotton candy? Heck, why not. He's totally reformed? Not so fast - the verdict is still out on that one!

Although, it seems like Maggie is setting up her tent in "Camp Reformed E.J." I nearly had a big gripe with Big Red as she seemed a little too eager to support him. At first I was all, "as Lucas's aunt, why is she helping the man who nearly destroyed his life?" For Johnny's sake she eventually came up with. Not the best explanation, but at least we got one and Days sometimes doesn't even give us that much to go on so I sucked it up and lowered the red flag. Besides, shucks, I can't stay mad at Big Red!

Finally, this section wouldn't be complete without sending a big "Welcome to Salem" to Kevin Dobson who premiered this week as the new Mickey! I read some of his reviews on the message boards and nearly all of them were favorable. Yay! I feel a little too biased to make a fair evaluation of him, but I definitely enjoyed his work so far, as brief as it was, and look forward to Mickey and Maggie getting more screen time soon!

Extra Scoops

Hot and Not

Hot: In general, Days was just on fire last week! It was the perfect balance of drama and comedy. Sure, there's a few things we could dissect and complain about, but if last week is a sample of days to come, I give it two enthusiastic thumbs way up!

Not: In addition to the writers missing a great opportunity for Morgan and Philip to run into each other (hello she was in his house), they don't seem too sure of what they want to do with her lately. She started out as this smart, strong, sassy independent young woman and lately she's been a twittering oddball who's coming across either shady or ditzy, which one I'm not sure. Wake up writers - we liked old Morgan so don't ruin a good thing!

Line of the Week:

"You mean like the average American family? Brainwashed dad. Gun toting mom. Married couple who hates each other. Missed matched set of twins. And an evil scientist butler. I'll have to think about it." - John's response to Marlena when she asked if everyone could live with him as "one big happy family."

Randomness ...

I had a hard time picking just one "Hot" item, so I decided to toss the various runners-up here. First, there were the returns and recast! Next, Kayla finally learned the truth about Ava! Then, there was Victor dotting on Chelsea over dinner - seriously how cute was that!? Of course E.J. telling Sami to do what she does best, "lie through your teeth," was a serious contender too.

Finally, I'm enjoying Victor and Marlena's sessions. Aside from proving that she actually works and my happiness over John Aniston getting more screen time, Victor's character is just becoming more and more fascinating to watch. Given he's been around for long time, is great combination of writing and acting to discover new dimensions to such a veteran charter!

So friends and fellow Days fans, that's "Two Scoops" for the week of March 31st, and, as Pre-Brain Erased John Black used to say, "That's a fact."

As always, thanks for reading! Tony

P.S. Did I mention Nicole's back!?

Need more Two Scoops? Laurisa and I are always up to something, so make sure to check out our Soap Central Blogs for more ranting, raving and all-out randomness!