Happy Birthday two you

Steve feels that Philip isn't entitled to raise Tyler, but Steve should know better than anyone how it feels to try to reconnect with a child that you weren't there to raise.

My arm hurts and I am missing all of my socks. Why? After work, I usually do laundry and watch Days. But this week, the actions of some of my favorite Days characters were so appalling that I threw more socks at the TV than I actually folded. I threw so many socks that my arm hurts from throwing them. Too bad I couldn't actually hit some Salemites and knock some Tide-scented sense into them. Here's the list of socks-to-the-head recipients:

Belle, Belle, Belle, Belle, Belle. What the holy hell was she thinking??? (SOCK!) Seriously. There's no way that Ms. Black still has feelings left for Philip. None. It just makes no sense. Philip made her out to be a monster in family court and then forced her to flee Salem, just to keep Claire. Yet there she is, hittin' the sheets with Mr. Kee-de-akis. I didn't buy Belle's "it was just sex" excuse at all. At least her second-round excuse of "I'm under a lot of stress with my dad's death and nursing school" was more Belle-like. I don't see Belle keeping her "Phillication" a secret from Shawn. Not only will the guilt consume her, but Hope's eyebrow will haunt her every step of the way. When Shawn does find out, I doubt that he'll be able to deal with it. I'm sorry Shelle fans, but Belle and Shawn seem to display way too much of the stuff that kept Sami and Lucas appart for so long- she screws up too much and his ego is too big. I'm not sure if Shawn should forgive Belle, but I do know that if they are supposed to be this great super couple they should be able to work past a grief-induced one-time fling (see=Bille/Bo and Hope/Patrick) And I swear Hogan, if Belle ends up pregnant from this little romp I'll scream. First, we all know it's nearly impossible for Philip and Belle to conceive. Second, soaps only get one "who's the daddy" storyline at a time, please. Finally, I positively can't stand any more scenes with Shawn and Philip fighting. Those faces are too pretty for all that blood.

The second and third sock (reluctantly) went to Steve and Kayla. I love Steve and Kayla, but this week I wanted to slap them both. Steve spent the early part of the week yelling at Philip for wanting to raise Tyler (I, like Philip, refuse to call the baby "Pocket"). Steve should know better than anyone how it feels to try to reconnect with a child that you weren't there to raise. Steve's argument that Philip isn't entitled to Tyler because he signed a paper to end the pregnancy is so ridiculous I can't stand it. And, Steve is just a big jerk for telling Philip to get a dog. (Side note, my husband and I recently got a puppy and it is no small task to take care of and train a dog. I don't think that Philip could maintain his regular schedule of home wrecking if he had to let a puppy out every 3-4 hours). Then Kayla tried to guilt Philip into giving up his son. She tells Philip that he would only be using Tyler to fill the hole that Belle and Claire left. Excuse me? Isn't this the same woman who wanted to have a baby in order to bring Steve closer to her? It seems like this is just a far-fetched excuse to draw out a weak storyline.

Don't worry though. There were enough socks to go around for Philip too. If he's not ready to be a father then he needs to find a way to make himself ready, not find a way out! I'm not saying that adoption isn't a wonderful thing. But, I am saying that Philip is ready to be a father. He was a great father to Claire. The idea that Philip can't be a single parent is stupid. Sure, it will be hard. But Philip has the means to hire lots of help, and he has the privilege of determining his own work/trust fund spending schedule so he can have plenty of time to spend with Tyler. Then there's the dumb-Belle issue. There's no doubt in my mind that Philip loves the idea of Belle- another rich kid like him who can give Philip some resemblance of a normal life. And, I can't really blame Philip for wanting something other than the life that Kate and Victor gave him. But, Belle is not the girl for him. Philip needs a strong woman who can go toe-to-toe with him and fight back. Try this on for size- Philip and Stephanie. For this to work, Stephanie needs to tap into her inner Grandma Caroline and be feistier and less...well...stupid. But think about it. She's a race car driver who survived in a man's world. He's a junior titan with Marine experience. Tell me that these two couldn't make for one adventurous couple! Bonus: a Stellip (Stephanie + Phillip) pair would turn Steve and Kayla into baby Tyler's grandparents.

Another sock-to-the-head went to that stupid social worker. How flippin' long does it take to get a DNA test back? Oh wait! That's right. The nurse told Sami and Marlena that it should only take 24 hours!! (And that's when the kid isn't in the hospital every 20 minutes.) Yet Philip, Steve, and Kayla are all forced to wait. Furthermore, a third set of parents comes in and gushes over how much they've bonded with Tyler and want to adopt him. So, riddle me this: If you were a social worker and a well off, decorated military vet came to you with concrete evidence that shows he is the biological father of Lauren's baby, why would you even consider entertaining requests from two other couples to adopt the baby until a DNA test is back? Step right up contestants! It's time to play "Who Wants to be a Parent?"

My final sock-to-the-head goes to EJ Wells. Is it just me, or is EJ the villain-lite version of Andre? EJ tries to be haunting, but when he does he just ends up looking silly. I laughed out loud when he was ogling at the twins through the hospital window. He reminds me of those villains in melodramas. I feel like a stage hand should be following EJ around with "BOO" and "HISS" signs. Did EJ really call a meeting with Lucas to give Lucas the opportunity to beg EJ to raise the twins? Personally, I don't see why Sami doesn't just give full custody to Lucas. If she wants to marry EJ, fine. But the twins are not part of the deal. If Lucas has full custody, it would give Sami tons of excuses to spend time with Lucas, sans Mr. Wells. Finally, I'm a little upset that Days is already casting Sami's son as a DiMera. I don't mean to sound like a raging feminist, but why can't Sami's daughter be the DiMera heir? The son is such an obvious choice. I think it would be an interesting twist to watch EJ have to raise a daughter. He'd definitely want to teach her not to date guys like him.

Now, to the non-sock chuck bunch. These storylines were much more enjoyable to watch because I could use my other arm (which had a glass of wine at the end) during these scenes.

The best scenes of the week were Sami's twins. Welcome to the Salem, John Roman Roberts (the artist formerly known as Roman Thomas Roberts Horton) and baby girl Roberts (a.k.a Colleen Marlena Julia Jane Jezebel Roberts Horton). Marlena was able to deliver the twins because, of course, she did her residency in the OB. Marlena was a rock star during these scenes, and Lucas was great with Sami too. It was the first scene in a long time that made me really root for Lumi. They were supporting each other through the birth and were funny in the hospital. I loved that they thought about naming their daughter "Julia". It was a super cute nod to the real-life Julia Roberts, who has come out multiple times to say that she is a "Days of Our Lives" fan.

The twins got some bonding time with Grandma Kate this week. I like that Sami and Kate are playing nice. I never was a fan of this rivalry. I'd much rather see Sami deal with EJ and Kate spar with Anna. Anyway, Lucas gave Kate the "You're Not My Mom" speech for the 102,807th time. But we all know better. Lucas doesn't mean it. He never does. Now that Sami is asking Kate to spend time with the twins, Lucas really needs to put an end to the empty Mom-ousting threats. Here's hoping that Lauren Koslow's talent is finally being allocated to a non-Lucas storyline.

Bo, Abe, and Roman look like they may actually have a good lead on the car that hit John. I'm very glad that this is going to be a full-out story instead of a random hit-and-run. We (the fans) deserve for John's death to mean something. I'm all for a crafty whodunit storyline. But, how the heck did Andre's cellmate, Jack, know to run down John? Andre was on his death bed, Stefano was in the hospital, and EJ was with Sami when John died. I see no conceivable way that anyone could have tipped off Jack to John's whereabouts. EJ did know where Belle's car was parked and he was at the pub when John got the call. But, unless EJ snuck off to call Jack without Sami noticing, I don't see how it can be EJ either. I guess were supposed to believe that Andre ordered the hit and told Jack to just follow John Black around until the perfect opportunity came to run John over with a car. This storyline has great potential, but it needs to be handled carefully.

I'm really glad that I kept an open mind about the sorority storyline because I'm full aboard the Max and Morgan fan wagon. I really don't care how upset Stephanie is over them. Considering that Max and Stephanie were together for approximately five seconds, Steph's bout of incest withdrawal should be very short. Max and Morgan work well. I'll even deal with the recycled "princess meets rebel" storyline because I think the two actors have great chemistry together.

I also like how the storyline is transitioning away from the stereotypical sorority fluff and actually becoming a story about friendship. I hope that Cordy stays around for a little while longer because I like how Chelsea, Stephanie, and Morgan are honestly trying to help Cordy. It looks like Ford is a bad guy and the sisters are on his trail. Classic soap rule #2. Leather gloves= bad guy. We all saw Ford put on his leather gloves. Then, we see Chelsea get attacked by a leather gloved hand. We all know where this is going. I just hope that this isn't a vessel to jam Chelsea and Jett back down our throats. If Ford attacked Chelsea, Jett, being campus security, is the obvious choice to rescue her. All Jett's missing is a cape and a giant "S" on his chest- oh and that pesky thing called believability and credibility between Jett and Chelsea.

Hot

Did y'all see my girl Caroline break up the fight between Philip and Shawn- using a golf club? That woman has more chutzpah than any character on the show! Philip and Shawn managed to tear apart the entire pub, yet they were no match for Grandma Brady. Let's face it, if the woman can handle Victor and big Shawn, she can handle anything. Love her!! Not

So many Salemites took their crazy pills this week that it was hard to pick just one (Belle, Philip, EJ, Steve, Kayla). So, my "Not" award this week goes to the prop person who thought that John Roman Roberts should make his camera debut as a shinny plastic baby doll. It totally ruined a beautiful scene.

What you think Days fans? Did the police academy suddenly change its admission rules? (I'm pretty sure that Patrick Lockhart had a record when he joined the academy.) How did Andre orchestrate a hit from his hospital bed? And, does anyone else think of Christmas when you see the gold "Believe" sign up against the red wall in the sorority house? Maybe it's just me.

Happy viewing! Laurisa