Two rings don't make a right

In Stefano's twisted mind, Sami and E.J. are the reincarnation of Colleen and Santo.

Holy storylines, Batman! This week was full of progression. If there's one good thing about Hogan, it's that he moves the storylines along. In one of his early interviews, Hogan said that he tells a story very fast so viewers need to tune in every day. I'm there! Well, actually my TiVo is there, but I play the episodes back as soon as I can. Starting from the top, we learn how the Gallway storyline climaxes. Colleen committed "suicide". I toyed with this idea earlier in the story, but I just couldn't bring myself to imagine a nun committing suicide. I'm not an expert in Catholicism, but I thought that the Catholic Church viewed suicide as a big-time sin. But at the end of the week, we watch Pete clutch Colleen's habit on top of a cliff. I'd be surprised if we're supposed to believe anything other than Colleen "jumped" (meaning I don't think anyone murdered her). Please note that I'm using quotation marks to emphasize that I'm hesitant to believe that we've seen the last of Colleen. The first rule of soaps is that if there's no body, then nobody died. Hogan, until you show me Santo leaning over Colleen's corpse, I do not believe that Colleen is dead. Maybe she ran off and joined the circus. Maybe she went into a life sentence long penance. Or, maybe she's been living in Salem this whole time. I'm not sure. But I do know that I've done this dance before, and I'm not buying Colleen's death until you show me a body. But for now, her suicide makes perfect confusion. Shawn feels guilty for breaking his sister's heart. Santo is enraged at Pete and Shawn for telling Colleen about his not-so-dead wife. And Stefano feels guilty for ruining his father's chances of marrying Colleen. I know that the easy thing to do is blame Santo because he is the one who lied. But, I really think that Santo loved Colleen, and wanted out of his arranged marriage. I think that he would have made a good life for Colleen. I'm blaming Pete. That guy is just a jerk. I just cannot get past the fact that the guy would swear off his own daughter, just because she wanted to decide what to do with her life. Pete needs to put the caveman stick away. (And maybe pick up another bottle of gray hair color. I appreciate the attempt to age the actor playing Colleen's father. We're getting closer, but we're not there yet.) Andre continued his trail of terror. I swear, this guy is one step away from fava beans and Chianti with Dr. Lector. Anyway, he plays this horrible game with Sami, asking her to kill either Lucas or EJ. Logically, Sami should choose EJ. This choice would play easily into Andre's master plan. Andre has read what's in the folio. Andre knows that EJ is the key to ending the feud, which would mean no more Mr. Psycho-Torture. So, if Andre gets rid of EJ the feud will go on forever, and Andre will have job security as Salem's resident bad guy. But he can't kill EJ himself. Stefano would be ticked. So, who better than Sami, the woman who EJ raped, to be given the loaded gun? Unfortunately for Andre, he bumps Sami at the last second and she ends up shooting Lucas in the leg. Then, Sami beats the crap out of Andre with a steel rod. Never underestimate the power of a mad pregnant lady. Andre had a GUN, and Sami still cleared his clock with a pole. That's my girl! Back to the folio, Sami learns that the only way to stop the feud is when Santo and Colleen's souls are joined. She knows that this means marrying EJ. In Stefano's twisted mind, Sami and EJ are the reincarnation of Colleen and Santo. I'll buy into this logic up until one point. In the brilliant scene from the cemetery, Stefano recalls his parent's "sham of a marriage" with great pain. He shutters at the sorrow his father experienced, but he's willing to watch EJ have the same type of marriage? Really??? This brings me to a full time-out, flags on the field, what-ever card you get in soccer to stop the play... Hogan, you've got some splainin' to do! You got the fans' attention with the Lucas/Sami/EJ triangle. The great acting from this talented trio made us crazy with divide over who Sami really loves. And now, with one failing move, you're going to alienate both camps. Lumi fans have to watch Sami leave Lucas to marry EJ. And Ejami fans have to watch Sami make EJ's life miserable with a fake marriage. Not cool, man! This is in no way, shape, or form, a resolution to the storyline. I don't like it, not one little bit. But we know that Sami will do it to save her father. Roman is in a coffin somewhere. But we learn that Roman is not in Stefano's faux grave. Abe and Steve dig up the grave and find Benjy. I would have liked to see Benjy get a better send off than, "by the way he's the guy in the coffin." Steve grieving over his loss was horribly sad, and Stephen Nichols knocked it out of the park. But, I really do hope that TPTB take Abe's suggestion and give Benjy a formal funeral. The character deserves it. In the only non-Brady DiMera storyline this week, the ever spinning marry-go-round-o-love continues for Chelsea and Steph. For the first time I'm going to defend both of them and say- that's how it should be. Please refrain from throwing objects while I explain.... When you're young, the reality is that sometimes you date more than one person at once and make mistakes with those people. Sticking two young people together too soon results in a love affair that doesn't always make sense when the characters grow up (cough! ShawnBelle). Who cares if they're both "dating" two guys at once? Not all of us are as lucky as Hope (just check out our cheek bones) to be rescued by the man of our dreams at 19. I still think that Chelsea is best with Nick, and Steph needs to stay out of the family tree. But the idea of Chelsea and Steph being a little stupid with guys is right on the money for young college co-eds. Speaking of college girls, Chelsea and Steph decide to pledge Alpha Chi Barbie. The sorority scenes were painfully obnoxious, but I'm going to give this storyline a pass this week. Any storyline put up next to the resolution of the Gallway-gate was in a bad position to begin with. So, I'm going to wait to see how it plays out. At least these girls are participating in normal college activity. I'm ok with watching corny storylines as long as these two stay in college. Seriously, I'm not excited about the recent drop out rate of Salem U. If these girls can get their degrees we'd actually have an occasion for the whole town to get together besides a fake funeral or one of Sami's weddings. But, it wasn't all books and pledges this week. The Banana Boat sunscreen guy showed up at Nick's apartment (which magically grew another bedroom) for D and Art. Banana Boat man, a.k.a Umar, knew Nick and Chelsea by name, and he also knew the story that China Lee told Nick. Umar says that China Lee worked for the boy's father- a very powerful Sudanese leader. Not sure if I believe him yet. But, I didn't have time to question it because, before I knew it, Jeremy was holding a gun to Umar's head- ensuring that D and Art remain with Nick for at least one more night. It looks like the D and Art storyline may also be a way for Jeremy to redeem himself. Thank God! I never wanted to believe that Mike Horton's son was really that much of a twit. I also never wanted to believe that a Brady-Horton romance would be as silly as the hormone fest that was Jeremy and Stephanie during summer '07. I like the trend of Jeremy becoming more than a one-dimensional meatball. Stephanie told Max that she wants a man like her dad. Max may be easy on the eyes, but he is no Steve. He's nowhere near dangerous enough. He needs to be more like....say....the guy who jumps out of a bedroom with a gun to save the lives of two kids and two of his friends. That move has Steve written all over it. Finally, further proof that I am a TV-aholic, I loved that Nick's nosey neighbor is named Mr. Kravits! : I guess Hogan is a "Bewitched" fan! For those of you who don't remember, Mrs. Kravits was Samantha and Darrin's nosey neighbor on "Bewitched". Here ends today's lesson in useless TV knowledge. Remember, this powerful information can only be used for good. A million and one rumors:

Rumor #1- I've read the spumors about Drake leaving the show. The whole thing makes me sad. Even if I roll my eyes at every, "That's a fact," I can't images Days without Drake. I love that character of John; I love the idea of John; and I love Drake playing John. If Drake decides to leave, I hope it's because he's professionally ready to move on and not because of some hard feelings brought on by TPTB. The show will have a HUGE hole to fill if Drake leaves. Rumor #2- Sami is leaving. Riiiiight. I think the show could get along with out her. She's only the key to resolving the current Brady/DiMera feud storyline. No biggie. Finally, how do you think Belle's upcoming trip to Texas will go? Will Jeremy come clean with Stephanie? And, who will be more excited to see Roman again- Kate or Anna? Happy viewing! Laurisa