Send in the clowns

This past week was great for Santo and Colleen, but it was pretty boring for E.J. and Sami.

Welcome to the second week of our Two Scoops auditions, Soap Central fans. In our second column, Laurisa has offered up a column for your enjoyment. Please take some time to read over it and then drop us a line to let us know what you think, whether you'd like to read more from Laurisa every week -- or if you'd like to wait to read from someone else.

Hey Days fans! My name is Laurisa, and I'm thrilled to share my humble opinions on my favorite guilty obsession with the smartest fans in daytime. I'd also like to give a special hello to my best friend, Jamie and her mom Debbie, who introduced me to Days at age 9 when I would go play at Jamie's house after school. Ok, starting the show...

Santo and Colleen took a big step this week. The two star crossed lovers confessed their love for each other. Then, Santo got down on his knees and proposed to Colleen. But Colleen couldn't decide- she says that she loves her work as a novice but loves Santo too. All through this week's installment of "Days of our Gallway Lives" we got this strange "devil/angel on the shoulder" shot with Sami and EJ watching from inside the scene with Santo and Colleen and yelling instructions to their counterparts- "Don't do it Colleen" or "You love him, its ok!". I thought it was an interesting tactic and it takes the parallels between the two storylines further. But, I have to say that I like the Sami/EJ relationship better when it's in real-life and not through proxy relatives. This week was great for Santo and Colleen, but pretty boring for EJ and Sami. Sami did her fair amount of protesting, and EJ made a great play for the "Theresa Lopez-Fitzgerald Fate Award", but these two need to move on with their own storyline.

While EJ's grandfather waits for an answer from Colleen, EJ's father waits to be "buried". The grand Brady plan to trap Andre started out really well, and they were even smart enough to get a DiMera's help. But apparently they were just so dang proud of their brain child that they couldn't do one simple thing- keep it a secret. Quick headcount of the people who are in on the big secret: 1. Bo, 2. Hope, 3. Roman, 4. John, 5. Marlena, 6. Lucas, 7. Sami, 8. Abe, 9. Lexie, 10. Steve, 11. Kayla, 12. Stephanie, 13. Andre, and 14. Anna. Add in the fact that EJ figured it out and Kate, Shawn, and Belle probably know too, there exists no conceivable way that Andre will fall for the trap. Did they really think that he would? If Stefano was really dead, the Bradys would be holding a bottomless cup cocktail party at the Brady pub- not donning their best mourning clothes and sitting at the funeral. Andre is way too good at recognizing the smell of a rat.

Andre was a man of many faces this week- including one nightmare educing clown. He snuck into Sami's hospital room dressed as a clown to confront her about Stefano's death. But when Lucas interrupted, Andre escaped and switched costumes again- this time to a nice little old lady costume. Personally, I would have gone for a doctor- you know, hospital scrubs, mask, and hat- but "Thelma Harper" works too. Anyway, Andre has it pretty much figured out that Stefano's death is a fake, and he blames Roman for it. So, he goes to set a trap for Roman, using a terrorized Kate as the bait. Shawn and Belle get in the way, so he throws them in the freezer (insert "Shawn needed to cool off" joke here- but more on that later). Thaao Penghlis must be having an absolute ball with his dual roles because his Andre DiMera is breaking the creep-o-meter. Thaao has perfectly positioned Andre on the cusp of insanity- with just enough brilliance to stay one step ahead of the Bradys. I don't know how long the writers can keep him around, but Andre is a great villain and as much as I hate to admit it, I love watching him- even if that does mean that I have to sleep with the lights on after seeing the clown costume.

In fact, the only thing creepier than Andre in that clown costume was Max and Stephanie almost doing the deed. After flying the friendly skies, they wind up on Incest Mountain, where they snuggle up together and Stephanie Silk Sheets Super Slut tries to seduce uncle Max. Anti-Steph/Max reason #1: I don't care if they are complete strangers to each other as adults. The fact is that one of them calls Caroline "mom" and the other one calls her "grandma". Those two people should not be discussing when they are going to sleep together. Anyway, Stephanie proceeds to tell Max a story about a night that she spent with Jeremy- (smooth Steph- always bring up another dude- guys love that). Then, she starts acting desperate and says things like, "Like when you broke up with me?!?!?" and "Why are guys only attracted to girls who are taken??!?!?" and "That whole time we were together"- ummm...Anti-Steph/Max reason #2: They were together for like 5 seconds and Stephanie is still hurting over it. Now, they're talking about a relationship that they don't even have. Anti-Steph/Max reason #3: Max tells Steph that she needs to choose between him and Jeremy. It baffles my mind that they biggest concern that Max has is how Stephanie feels about Jeremy when he was ready to get it on with Ms. Elevator a few days earlier. He's never been into commitment before, so why should he act like he cares now? Personally, I like single Max- especially if he could help single Nick get some confidence. Anti-Steph/Max reason #4: Stephanie shouldn't want to break up with Jeremy because just because a Johnny Depp look-alike is waiting for her. She should break up with Jeremy on her own- because he's mean to her. I have the sneaking suspicion that once Jeremy shows up in Salem and pleads with Steph for a second chance, she'll give right in. Thankfully Bo and Kayla rescue Steph and Max just in time to break-up their little love fest. I'll give Kayla a pass on not reading Stephanie the riot act right away, but as soon as they get home and the fear of almost losing her daughter wears off, there needs to be a sentence that starts with, "So, I couldn't help but notice that you were about to sleep with my brother..." Side note: Missed storyline- before the jump, Rawlings offered to keep Stephanie on as a member of Charlie's Hell's Angels. GREAT IDEA. There is a huge potential with this storyline. Stephanie would stay on as an undercover fembot, all the while spying on a DiMera business and reporting back to the Bradys....sound like anyone she's related to?

In other non-Salem places, Belle and Philip arrive in Oklahoma to track down Lauren and Tyler. It almost worked too- except for the fact that Lauren wasn't talking and Tyler is now living under the alias, "Pocket" (wild guess). However, we did learn of a quirky little detail that may stop this family reunion. Philip signed a paper that gave away his parental rights....or did he? Philip said that he signed a paper consenting to terminate the pregnancy. I'm no lawyer, but if Lauren didn't terminate the pregnancy, then she didn't fulfill her part of the contract- making the contract void. I really hope that Philip does find his son and starts his own family so that he can stop projecting one on Belle. Personally, I'm a Philip fan. I really think that if that guy could find a girl to love, support, and slightly spoil, he would be the perfect husband. While I'm not completely sold on Belle and Shawn, I'm not buying the idea that Belle may still have feelings for Philip for a second. I think Belle feels sorry for Philip and pretty guilty since she knows that she should have never married Philip in the first place. He needs to find his son, find a girl, so that Belle can go back to being his BFF.

I saved the best for last because something amazing happened this week. Knowing that Andre is after her, Kate takes up drinking and confessing to Roman. She actually admitted that she spent years of her life trying to make Sami's life miserable and questions why Roman has anything to do with her. (Thump! That was me having to duck to avoid the pigs that are flying around the room). But, let it be known that when one confesses the truth- rewards will come!! This time it came in the form of a great new storyline. Get your ring side seats Days fans, for Kate vs. Anna! While Tony and Roman might be the catalyst for this new storyline, they are minor details. The big story here is the ladies. I don't know who I want to root for. But, I am loving the fact that Kate is picking on someone her own size and, for once, she has a story that doesn't involve one of her kids. Plus, what's wrong with having two ladies fight over Roman for a change?

Parting Thoughts: Chelsea is making me motion sick- I'm convinced that all she wants is for guys to love her, but she doesn't want to invest anything back. She is intrigued at Jett's confession, but not enough to totally give up on hearing Nick's voice when she's lonely.

I'm getting very tired of Lucas accusing Sami of sneaking around behind his back. He needs to stop acting like the Brady/DiMera vendetta is just something that Sami whipped up to piss him off.

Shawn definitely has the heart of a cop, but he has a loooooong way to go in the discipline department. Between snapping at Belle and then snapping at Hope, this cadet needs to calm down and stop acting like his opinion is the only one in the world. Once he does that, I think he'll be a great addition to the force.

Finally, how do you think big Shawn will feel when he learns of the fake Phoenix fatality? What was in the letter that Jeremy left for Stephanie? And, what was Andre talking about when he said that EJ was building an alibi?

Happy viewing! Laurisa

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