Six degrees of slapping E.J.

The biggest difference between the way Steve treated Kayla a couple of months ago and the way Jeremy is treating Stephanie now is that Steve was being brainwashed. What is Jeremy's excuse?

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Step right up and slap EJ should have been a carnival ride this week. Stefano belted him a good one and told him to "be a man" with regards to Sami and the kids that we now know are not his (so far). EJ asked him what he should do, go over Sami's house and drag her out by her hair, caveman style? Stefano said if that's what it takes, and coming from the person who drugged Marlena repeatedly and took her to really strange operas in the middle of the night, I really think he means it. Sami came into the DiMera mansion, out for blood (more on that in a minute) and EJ, instead of killing her, Lucas and Marlena, decided to take the high road, remove the clip from the gun and tell her to be on her merry way. To say that Stefano was mad about that is the understatement of the year. He was furious that EJ dared defy a direct order from him. Stefano also made a comment that he keeps waiting to find out that EJ is really the gardener's mongrel. I don't think Stefano really meant that, because EJ looks just like Stefano's father and that would have to have been a hell of a trick on the gardener's part.

EJ then went to the famous Salem docks, which is apparently the designated place in town to lick your wounds. EJ (along with his friendly bottle of whiskey) was sitting there, minding his own business and having fantasies about killing Lucas and Sami falling into his arms, when Kate sauntered on past. She was ticked that she had just been in a meeting with her lawyers concerning the misappropriation of funds charges that they are dealing with. EJ basically could have cared less. Kate then accused him of sitting there pining over Sami instead of taking care of business. Then she slapped him and told him to be a man. Wrong move, Katie. Still smarting from his father's words, EJ just about threw Kate in the river. You all know how I feel about manhandling, but I am also a firm believer in the theory you don't hit anyone that you don't want to hit you back. That aside, I am very interested to see how this plays out. EJ is hurt and feeling destructive, not to mention his severe dislike for Lucas. I honestly wonder if EJ is going to try to do something to him.

You know who I would like to "do something" to? Stephanie. I am so sick of her and her attitude towards Steve, like it was his fault that he was kidnapped and away from her for so long. The biggest difference between the way Steve treated Kayla a couple of months ago and the way Jeremy is treating Stephanie now is that Steve was being brainwashed. What is Jeremy's excuse? But anywho, I did seriously enjoy Jeremy shooting Stephanie down when she suggested that they move in together. They've been dating for about five minutes and since she is mad at daddy for investigating her man, she thinks co-habitation is a good idea. That's the picture of maturity. Adrienne did agree that Stephanie could move in, probably against her better judgment. Oh well, at least they did remember that Adrienne has kids and mentioned them. I loved Marlena this week. I love how she told Belle (and this is what she really said if you take all the niceness out of it) to get a job to help her own family out and stop complaining that Shawn doesn't make enough money. Praise the Lord, someone finally said it. While Belle was sneaking behind Shawn's back, setting up clandestine job interviews with Philip, where was her pen circling the want ads? I have the utmost respect for stay-at-home moms because their job is really hard, but Marlena was right, lots of mothers work. Plus, Belle's rationalization that she is taking care of Claire doesn't really hold up anymore, as Claire is in pre-school now, which I'm sure takes up a good chunk of the day. Belle could easily work part-time. I really get the feeling that Belle doesn't want to work though. I could be wrong.

At the beginning of the week, we got to watch Andre stab the Police Commissioner, in the police station, and as of Friday he is still running free. Um, okay. But, let me backtrack a little here. At the beginning of the week, Stefano had prepared Sami for removal of her babies' stem cells, but then here comes Bart with the revelation that the twins are not a match for Stefano, meaning EJ is not the papa. At about the same time, Nick woke up from his head-injury bender and remembered the results of the paternity test. Lucas and EJ found Sami in some random motel room (I guess since she wasn't a match, and they didn't want to just kill her, that was a speedy solution). Nick arrived at their apartment and gave them the correct DNA results. Of course, Kate showed up and tried to intimidate him into not telling, but Nick does happen to have a backbone (sometimes). Sami immediately thought that Kate, EJ or both were behind EJ being mis-named the father, but Nick took all the blame himself. Sami's joy was very short lived though, since she received the news about Roman being stabbed at virtually the same time. Sami was really, really pissed and said that she was going to kill all the DiMera's, as that is the only way her family would have any peace. Roman flatlined and was taken to surgery, and in the stupid Lucas move for the week, Lucas made a point of staring down the hallway watching Roman being wheeled into surgery, while Sami managed to disappear. Convoluted much? But anyway, Sami showed up at the DiMera mansion claiming she was going to shoot everyone. Bart tried to get the gun away from her and was shot in the foot for his trouble. Stefano rocked here, because he walked right up on her gun until it was firmly against his chest and dared her to shoot him, as there was no way she could have missed. Just as she was about to, Lucas and Marlena tackled her from outside and EJ got the gun away from her. This is when he dumped the clip out of the gun. Sami screamed and raged, but basically no harm was done. Except to Bart.

Poor Bart. I'm very sorry that they felt they had to kill him off, because he was always entertaining. Tony drugged Stefano and had gotten the "key that can end the whole feud" off of his person, but Bart managed to step in and swallow it. Enter Andre, who had a very weird sword fight with Tony in the DiMera living room. And poor Bart ended up a shisk-kabob. What I found weird about the whole thing is how broken up Stefano was about it. Since when could he ever stand Bart?

I am also terribly sick of Nick and Chelsea. I just knew he was going to do something stupid with that money, instead of, I don't know, living on it since he NO LONGER HAS A JOB!!! But no, of course, he gave the money to Kate (!) to give to Chelsea for her college education, his reasoning being it would give him piece of mind that Chelsea would have an education and therefore wouldn't end up like Kate. Whatever. Then what made me really sick is that after Chelsea found out that the guy she basically ditched Nick for is really an undercover cop (who else saw that coming from a mile away?) she calls Nick to come meet her so she can whine to him about it. They are killing me.

SOME RANDOM THOUGHTS

What is Miss China Lee (Nick's fake Vegas fiance) doing in Salem? I wonder what her angle is.

I miss Anna. They need to bring her back.

When will Lexie quit lurking (I hate it) and show herself to Abe and Theo already? I know Theo saw her in the hospital, but come on, that was like a month ago. I hate lurkers!!!

I still love Santo and Colleen. We now know that his wife (who still has never been named) died and that he and Stefano weren't able to make it back in time. Long story short, Santo and Colleen got into another argument about what her true calling was and he wouldn't give her back her shawl. He tried to keep it away from her and almost fell off the cliff (why the hell does everyone on every soap do stuff on cliffs?). Colleen felt bad, and they ended up doing some heavy smooching. I am really interested to see what happens next. I'm glad they are not telling this story in a day or two and making it a good summer story. I still hope the Brady's are at fault though. That's just me.

So scoopers, what will happen next week? Will EJ do something unsavory to Lucas? How will Stefano survive now that his stem cell plan is blown to dust? Will Kate actually give Chelsea that money? What does China have in store for Nick and Chelsea? Watch and find out!

Until next time!

Melissa

READ MORE OF THIS WEEK'S TWO SCOOPS The Bold and the Beautiful | General Hospital | The Young and the Restless

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