Gentlemen, start your engines!

Poor Marlena. She finally gets her memory back after the Alex North fiasco, she and John get married again, and he catches a bullet.

Hey scoopers! This year has already got off to a rocking start and we are just beginning the first week. Stories are moving, things are happening and this fan could not be happier.

I'm going to backtrack just a little bit, as the last two weeks have been me and Pam's best/worst columns and we really haven't talked about current storyline. EJ is really nuts. Who knew that when I started watching AMC a little over a year ago that the guy that played Ethan Cambias was going to be one of the best villains I have even seen on Days? Actually if someone had told me, I probably would have laughed them off the planet. Not to say that James Scott wasn't a good actor, I just wouldn't have believed that he could not only play a villain, but make me like him no matter what heinous crap he pulls. First, EJ turns the tables on Salem's finest and turn their trap for him into a trap for Bo. Only Bo didn't show up and John is the one who ended up shot, which worked out well for EJ because John was his main objective the whole time anyway. I really loved the "I'm getting ready to shoot you, so I might as well tell you my whole plan" banter that EJ and John had going on, especially when John told him he wasn't anything but a hound dog. That little quip would have made me shoot him too :.

Then EJ continued on his mini reign-of-terror by stealing his sister Lexie's car (more on that in a minute) and taking off for who knows where. Sami was trying to free Lucas from a beam that fell on him in a cabin and whose car does she just happen to flag down and jump into for help? Yep, EJ's. He forced her to help him through the roadblock, which she agreed to as long as he agreed to help Lucas out. Well he agreed, but he had a really indecent proposal of his own: He MIGHT help save Lucas, if she agreed to sleep with him. Or he might just tell her to go fly a kite when it was over. Sami quite reluctantly agreed, only to help Lucas (was I the only one who threw up in my mouth a little when he told her she should be "honored" that she was the one he decided to plant his little DiMera seeds in?). We all know that we are heading for a Who's The Daddy story, but I have one question: I understand that pretty much everyone on this show is a Catholic, but couldn't she have taken the morning after pill?? I'm just saying.

Back to Lexie. She is so stupid. Allow me to back that statement up. Tek, whom she has a restraining order against, forced his way into her car and refused to get out until she gave him five minutes to tell her the same damn thing he tells her every time he forces her to listen to him. After Tek got out of her car, he witnessed EJ shooting John and he ran back to get Dr. Lexie's help. Lexie came to John's aid and insisted that Tek leave so Abe wouldn't catch them together or her marriage would be over. Tek told her that he was the only witness and Lexie said that she would tell the police that she saw everything. Why, oh why? I really don't think that Abe would have thought that she was having some secret rendezvous with Tek, being as how he has accosted her quite a few times before. But that isn't why she is stupid. The stupid part is if you just HAVE to lie to the POLICE, you better pretend you're sure. Lying to the police never comes to a good end, but all that waffling she did just made her seem more suspicious. Of course, Roman was laying into her really hard, but she could have handled it better. Either say, "Yes he is the one I saw", or she could have told Roman when she was talking about how dirty the window was that her final answer was that she was 90% sure it was EJ but she couldn't say for sure because it was dark and happened fast. The way she is handling it (whining "I don't want to talk about it right now, I'm upset"), she is sure to get caught. And one other thing: How many times does she want Tek to tell her he's sure? What, does she want a signed contract in blood?

Poor Marlena. She finally gets her memory back after the Alex North fiasco, she and John get married again and he catches a bullet. The whole time John and EJ were going back and forth before John was shot I kept saying to myself "She is going to kick Roman's a--." John promised and promised her that he wasn't going to get involved in the case, but that's like asking a fish if it could just stay away from that water please. John has to be in the middle of whatever is going on, that is just who he is. Poor guy, he was really trying not to get in the middle, but Bo got called away to rescue Hope and all of a sudden, John is tapped for the investigation (I guess Salem PD has NO other cops). But Marlena surprised me. She did not in fact kick Roman's a--, she flipped out on BO. Actually she has been flipping out since this happened, especially on that Dr. Doom who is in charge of John's care. I've been reading the message boards and people are saying that she needs to calm down, but her husband was just shot. I personally think she was long overdue for a freak out. I'll tell you what, Days may be cleaning house a little more than some of us like, but I've noticed that when the actors are getting to the end, they are really giving them some great stuff to play. Case in point, Patrick's kidnapping Hope and subsequent freak out. I had no idea that Brody Hutzler could go that crazy and scream like that. I mean, I know he's a good actor but he really went off the rails on that one. But as soon as Hope's water broke, he came back to reality and even helped deliver the baby. He then informed Bo and Hope that the baby was really Bo's and that he had paid Dr. Bader to lie. He apologized for causing them so much grief and was nonchalantly led away in handcuffs. Bo and Hope now have their Doodlebug and they can actually move on with their lives without Patrick's interference.

I have a confession to make. The Christmas episode where Hope gave Chelsea a kiss on the cheek and then helped her with her ornament on the Horton tree? Those two scenes made me cry like a little girl with a skinned knee. I couldn't help it. I am actually starting to like Chelsea, especially when she faced off with "Pyro-hooker." I'm not loving the way she treats people sometimes still, but Sheffer has finally done it. I'm on her side.

Nick and Billie. You know, I thought I was going to be really grossed out and pissed off about this storyline, but I found myself laughing. Billie drunk is always interesting, but Nick trying to get out the window and then hiding under Chelsea's bed was hilarious. I still think it's gross that he's in love with Chelsea and he slept with her mom, but I do have to give him a little bit of slack. He was a 22 year old virgin and Billie was right there. If he'd been Max or some other really experienced guy I would be really mad, but since it was Nick, I guess I could be a little more forgiving. I still don't know how this is going to work out as far as Nick and Chelsea are concerned, but at least it's not the same old love triangle story. But, when I said that Billie needed an unmarried man in my Best/Worst column, I really didn't mean Nick.

I'm not really sure what's going on with Steve and the Devil card, but I have a sneaking suspicion that Steve will be the second assassin that EJ was taunting John about. I am really hoping that the assassin will turn out to be someone really unexpected like Kayla. Or Abby. Why does the new pawn automatically have to be the guy that was presumed dead for 16 years and can't remember some of them? That's too obvious. And I PRAY that they don't decide to pull a whammy and make Marlena the killer. Been there, couldn't stand it the first time.

Victor must have some pretty deep pockets, huh? Not only is he financing Philip's face transplant, he is also financing his custody suit against Shawn and Belle. I think taking Claire away from her parents is beyond wrong, but to play devil's advocate Shawn has definitely given Vic some ammunition. From driving Max's car through Victor's living room and shacking up with Pyro Hooker, I wouldn't exactly be tripping over myself to give Shawn custody either. But Belle has always been a good mom and I think that this is very unfair for her. So what that she and Philip are still married, he is not Claire's biological parent, he is her great uncle. And he apparently was just severely injured and went through major surgery. But the petition for custody is for Victor, not Philip, which begs the question, how old is Victor? Not to age discriminate, but if I were a judge and I just had to take a one-year old away from her mom and dad I would place her with middle-age-ish Hope and Bo before I placed her with 70-something Victor. Money talks, eh?

I got a lot of letters after my best and worst wondering where was the Steve and Kayla commentary. Dear readers, I do apologize, but I am one of those weirdos that writes off the top of my head with no outline, so I do occasionally forget some things that I made a mental note to talk about. I like Steve and Kayla and I'm glad that they are back together. I thought their reunion scenes were wonderful. Except that Kayla running off (when she wouldn't believe Steve really remembered everything) so soon after getting out of quarantine wasn't exactly a good idea.

So scoopers, who do you think Max and Mimi really found in that basement (sorry no comments but it's getting a little late here. My jury on the two of them together is still out)? What will Doodlebug's real name turn out to be? Who is going to figure out that Nick and Billie made push-push first? Will Chelsea break out some brass knuckles and show Pyro Hooker who REALLY has too many teeth? Only time will tell!

Until next time