Trippin' the fight fantastic

Shawn must have eighteen lives. He drives through walls and windows with the greatest of ease and manages to not kill himself.

Hey guys, it's good old Melissa again. I have to thank Pam for switching with me this week, because even though she thinks I'm doing her a favor by covering for her, SHE is really doing me one by letting me have the first week with the new writing team, headed by my new pretend husband, Hogan Sheffer.

Okay, I'm kidding about the husband part, but can I just say how much I am LOVING Days this week. Sure there were a couple of things that made no sense or seemed a little out of character (or a lot in some cases) but overall I love the direction that Days is taking. So with no further ado . . .

My favorite part of whole week had to have been when Philip yanked his mother out of her chair at Chez Rouge during her important business meeting and let her have it in front of a restaurant full of people. Even Lucas hasn't went off like that any of the times that Kate has destroyed his life with her constant meddling. Of course Kate tried to deny it at first, and then let it slip (yeah, right. When in trouble drag someone down with you) that she wasn't the only one who knew. Philip threatened to break every plate in the restaurant until she told him that his father knew about Claire's paternity too. See, that is the Philip that I want to see. He's a Marine for goodness sake's, I love to see him with an actual . . . backbone. Then the way he slid up to Shawn and said "Hey, my dad, your grandfather knew about Claire too, just thought you'd like to know," was just Kiriakis all day.

Then Shawn decided that it would be a good idea to go visit Victor, in his living room. But maybe Shawn should have gotten out of the car before he went into Victor's living room, you know rang the bell, instead of driving Max's car (I thought it exploded) THROUGH the wall. Shawn must have eighteen lives. He drives through walls and windows with the greatest of ease and manages to not kill himself. That scene was priceless, with Kate and Victor having "What the Hell" looks on their faces and then here comes Victor's manservant (I don't think that was Henderson) with his gun locked, loaded and ready to go. Somebody called Bo and Hope they were not too pleased to find out about Victor's deception (Hope even gave him a little shove/smack as she walked past him). Bo was right to ask him how he could do that to Shawn when Victor had always regretted not knowing Bo was his son until he was an adult. Victor offered to reinstate his contract with Shawn for the engine turbo-charger thingamajiggy that can make a car that previously exploded strong enough to drive though Victor's wall. Shawn (rightly) told him to take him contract and stick it where the sun don't shine.

I really liked Sami's scenes with Belle in the hospital. It isn't often enough that we realize the characters have siblings because we never used to see them together except at weddings and funerals. Sami calling John, who we all know isn't her favorite person, to help give Belle some peace of mind as far as her mother is concerned was a lovely gesture. That said, Carrie's visit with Belle just made me want to punch Carrie. She told Belle that even though she was married to Lucas she was just still so in love with Austin that she had to end it. [Insert sound of a record scratching here.] WHHAAAATTTT????? Um, no sweetie, you didn't end anything. YOU. GOT. CAUGHT. If E.J. hadn't pointed Lucas in the right direction, Carrie would still be whining about how she loves Austin, but she can't hurt Lucas by leaving him, even though it is apparently perfectly okay to keep sleeping with his brother. Don't try to change history to make yourself look better. It just happened two weeks ago. I like E.J. and Sami together. Okay, at least I did until Wednesday, but more about that later. I just knew that Lucas was going to try to sabotage her date, but to drag your kid into it is low. And then to use his already troubled child to get Sami to do what he wants is really beneath him. What father in his right mind would vandalize someone's property and hire a hooker (even if it was just to do a little playacting) and bring their kid along for the ride? Then he tells Sami about all the feelings he has for her, even though he treats her like crap, and makes this big hairy deal about how she can't be a good mom and have a boyfriend. So I guess the same didn't apply to him when he was dating Sexy Sophie and Carrie, right? And speaking of which, who in the hell decided to let Will run his parents' lives? He had a natural girl fit saying "Mom, you're ruining everything by daring to have a life and date E.J.! I'm just going to run my little spoiled butt away from home again since I can't have my way (I'm paraphrasing)!" If I would have had the nerve to say something like that to my parents at Will's age, they would have been like "Go ahead. And we will have you arrested as a runaway. See ya when you get back," instead of trying to kiss up to me like Lucas and Sami did. And you know what? Please someone cut off Will's wookie hair. It is just killing me.

So, now we know that E.J. Wells is not quite as nice a guy as he would have everyone believe. I did enjoy E.J. going ape all over Lucas and Will (whom I really thought deserved it), but not too many mothers are going to let some guy flip out all over their kid, whether the kid deserves it or not. And then of course E.J. doing the desktop mambo with Kate was really just not what I needed to see. Especially since I was eating. James Scott (E.J.) is gorgeous and I would watch him read the phone book, but putting him with Kate while he goes after Sami is a little bit much for me. Did I mention, yuck? And what was with Kate making Sami out to be this big slut, like she has hooked up with every male in a fifty mile radius? Hey pot, it's kettle, didn't you used to be a prostitute? Isn't Lucas the product of an affair that had a lot to do with Laura Horton losing her mind? Just checking.

In the same "yuck" vein was Chelsea asking her GRANDMOTHER who she had sex with, being as how her office looked like the booty-tornado had hit it. Then out strolls E.J., which somehow made Chelsea flash back to Sami's comments about her mom and grandmother being hookers and how she would probably be one too. Which of course gave Chelsea the bright idea to pose as a prostitute so she would get in trouble and her mom and dad would have to bail her out, and hopefully become closer. Okay. I don't really get the logic on that one, but I do have to say that I cracked up laughing when she kept tripping over her super high hooker heels and tried to arrange herself in her best streetwalker pose against a mailbox. I'll tell you what, I don't care for Chelsea much, but Rachel Melvin is terrific. It isn't very often an actor can make me laugh at a character I can't stand.

Speaking of hookers (oh you knew I was going there) WHAT THE HECK is Shawn thinking? He has lost his damn mind. Or maybe there is just a shortage of girls in town that he is not related to, being how he is a Brady, Horton and Kiriakis. Come to think of it, Belle and Mimi are pretty much it, unless you count Billie and Kate, which is beyond creepy. But back to the happy hooker, the comments like "I've never woken up with one of my john's before," and "Having sex with someone you care about is like a vacation," just made me shake my head. Where in the heck are they going with this story? You know what, I hope and pray that when Mimi figures out that Willow's new "angel" is Shawn that she runs right to Belle and tells her to slap some sense into Shawn. Not that Belle would actually make that kind of effort, but I want to see the look on her face when she finds out that Shawn is sleeping with a former prostitute. I have a feeling it will be priceless.

And lastly, the things this week that didn't make sense. Why would Philip and Mimi sign away the rights to their biological child to a virtual stranger, especially since Philip couldn't even remember what her name was? Mimi is supposedly barren and had a hard time with egg retrieval, so explain to me again why she would terminate the surrogate contract and give away her baby when it might be the only chance she would have to have a biological child of her own? Because she her husband left her? Because her egg and Philip's sperm were never supposed to party together? SO WHAT?? And I cannot believe that Philip Kiriakis would let any of his biological children go to be adopted and raised by someone else, especially when he couldn't even remember the name of the person who would decide what would happen to the baby. Yes, yes I know I was to set the stage for Bonnie to get custody of Mimi's baby, but this whole storyline is making less sense by the day.

Another thing that made no sense was the reveal that Patrick paid off Hope's doctor to lie and say that he was the father of Hope's baby and not Bo. Okay, one more time, I am completely willing to suspend my disbelief in most situations because, after all, it is a soap. But how in the world are they going to explain how Bo could be the father when it is now October and they had not slept together since before Zach died on New Year's Day? I know that Hope supposedly has an irregular cycle, but she didn't sleep with Patrick until springtime (April if I recall correctly), so how is the doctor tricking Hope into thinking she is nowhere near as far along as she actually is? This is just like when Hope was pregnant with Zach and by rights John should have been the father because she and Bo hadn't slept together in what seemed like years, but lo and behold, Bo was the dad. I guess Bo has magic sperm that can fly through the air, cross continents and find his lady love Hope wherever she is.

So much happened this week I can't even touch on it all, but I love the new accelerated pace and how you can't miss a day without being a bit lost. Did you guys notice that there were no flashbacks and no one was standing in a room talking to themselves? Let me know what you guys think of everything. I also want to thank all of you guys that write to me, whether or not you agree with me. I just want to let you guys know that even if I don't get a chance to personally respond to every one, I read every single thing you guys write to me and appreciate them all.

So what will happen next, scoopers? Will Sami learn that E.J. is also dipping his pen into Kate's inkwell? Will someone tackle Will, hold him down and shave his head? Exactly how crooked is Patrick and does he really think that Hope would leave Salem with him forever? Do you think that Philip will look a lot like Jay Kenneth Johnson when he comes back to Salem? We shall see!

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