The Salem Stalker has nothing on DAYS exits right now. I have whiplash from the new "role" call! In the last few weeks, we've lost Tripp, Abigail, Eli, Lani, Jules, Carver, Ben, Ciara, Baby Bo, Jan, and I'm sure others that I'm missing.
It was such a whirlwind that I decided to break this week's column into days, sort of an in-the-moment reaction. It was that kind of a week where a ton but nothing really happened at the same time.
This day was all Abigail's funeral, you know, without the funeral. Usually, I get super cranky when they do big events off-screen, but this episode was handled very well. I loved the montages and Kayla's poem over everything. This whole day was pretty much for Billy Flynn to spike the football. Oh, man, when Wilson showed up and hugged Chad?! Tears. I had all the tears.
I was shocked that they included Gwen in the obituary. I see how Jen would do that for Jack, but I could have done without that. Gwen's going to miss Abigail like I miss the low-rise jeans trend.
Will was pretty quick to figure out that Abigail's death could be connected to Sami's kidnapping. It's almost like he's a reporter or something. I wouldn't mind him looking into this further. Ever since that hatchet job he did on Sami years ago, I feel like he owes her a solid to write a piece that helps her. Or not. After all, he did grow up as her son. He's done a lot.
Ciara picked the worst possible time to announce they were leaving Salem. Literally, lady. Read the room! Also, the statement that she either goes back to work or takes her no savings and sails around the world with her infant is about the most soap thing I've ever heard. Also, my sister recently traveled overnight (one night!) with her new infant. They needed an entire luggage cart for baby gear. I'm not convinced a boat is big enough!
When Clyde and Nancy talk, it makes me wonder -- does Clyde actually like her? Or does he just like having a fan? He's used to people fearing him. This whole having someone like him might be a novelty in itself.
Orpheus' plan is to have Jan learn the password to the Salem PD database (um, okay, sure) and give it to him. Jan can sneak out of the hospital while supposedly still in a coma, so I guess she can do this, too. Also, I do have to tip my hat to Jan just a little. She has none of Rolf or the DiMeras' superpowers, but she always manages to pull off schemes.
Also, stop me if you've heard this, but Jan doesn't want to go back to jail. I get Shawn worrying about his kid, but eventually, his cop side has to kick in here, no? Jan murdered someone! Shawn kinda stands for justice.
Ben and Marlena's relationship is utterly inappropriate on so many levels. Yet I adore it. Ben's mother died when he was five, and he and Jordan split not long after they went on the run. So, Mar is the first motherly type person he's had in his life. I'm glad they made the point that he's going to continue his therapy sessions. And Mar being the godmother was downright adorable.
She's a total goof, but Jan's fantasy (nightmare?) about visiting Evan in prison was downright delightful. First, Heather Lindell looked gorgeous. Second, I love the idea of someone being obsessed with and stalking Jan. Her annoyance that someone decided that they should be an insta-family was hilarious. Third, "Jan Spears-Frears." Ha!
Don't look now, but Rafe is starting to cultivate some self-awareness. At least he's with it enough to know that the Salem PD doesn't scare Clyde. I don't love that he abused Chad's grief a bit, but I appreciated the thought behind it. Though, little did Chad or Rafe know that the DiMeras don't really scare Clyde, either. Thanks to drunken E.J. thinking he was doing the right thing, now the secret is out that Clyde shot E.J.
Watching Evan pace around for Jan to arrive makes me realize that Evan has not earned the space DAYS needs him to occupy in this story. Jan, Orpheus, and Kristen are all well-eared big bads. Evan just looked like a grumpy toddler, not someone that we should fear if he doesn't get his way.
Belle confessed to Chloe about sleeping with E.J. That all but guarantees Belle is pregnant. Now there's a witness to her tryst with E.J. She also described how, at the funeral, she found herself longing for Shawn and Claire. I'm shocked that Belle can't make up her mind. She's usually so committed to her decisions and doesn't flip-flop between men ever.
Okay, I know I talked earlier about Jan pulling things off, but this escape is truly one of her craziest. She managed to get her own monitoring device off. Then, she was able to bust an infant out of the NICU, and I promise you, Baby Not-Shawn's-Kid had security monitors all over him, too. Finally, she blows past hospital security. AND she does all of this while supposedly in custody of a detective. This is an inside-the-park home run.
You guys! We're headed back down to the docks! You remember the docks, right? The place where everyone is safe and nothing bad happens? Well, Shawn went down to the docks and got knocked out for his troubles. Cue Super Belle (apparently, they're not that separated if they're still sharing locations on their phones), who gets there and knocks Jan into the river. She does this while wearing heels, which is kind of badass. Belle rescues Shawn and then the baby, too. For some reason, Shawn dives in the water after Jan. To be fair, I think Shawn would do that for any baby mama. I mean, remember the whole Willow Stark saga? Plus, Belle did say that Shawn might have a concussion. There's no sign of Jan, which means she's off to DiMera island to plot how she's going to get her son back.
It's the Cin goodbye tour. I love that they included Ciara visiting Victor. It's always nice to see Pop-Pop smile. The farewells on the docks were great, too. I'm so glad Jake made an appearance!
This time, Leo goes to see Gwen, and she calls him Matty. I still can't shake that one time she only called him Leo. Anyway, they dance a little more around whether or not Gwen and/or Leo could have killed Abigail. With the speed of the exits, it feels like we should be a little further down this line, too.
Clyde explains the whole story to Nancy -- about how a rando guy asked him to sell some jewelry on behalf of a deceased aunt. That story is true, in that it happened. So, Clyde's not lying. But he is leaving out the huge part that Clyde knew Leo was lying and called him on it. He may not have known the jewelry was Abigail's, but he did know it was stolen.
Belle visits Shawn at the hospital, and the baby is going to be fine. Belle says that she was so worried about Shawn, but now, she just can't bring herself to raise Jan's baby. This is the first truly honest thing Belle has said in weeks. But I have to wonder if the dynamics changed now that Jan isn't in the picture. As it stands now, she's holding this kid's maternity against him. As a reminder -- this is the same woman who is sleeping with Stefano DiMera's son.
She goes back to the DiMansion, and E.J. and his accent lament, "I could have lost you..." Oh, girl, Belle. You're in trouble.
The Salem Brain was in good hand with Chloe. First, she gave Belle the appropriate amount of side-eye when Belle bragged about sleeping with E.J. Chloe pointed out that this is going to be complicated with Sami, and while Belle deserves comfort, this may not be the tall drink of foreign water she should have gone for. Next, Chloe went right to her parent and dropped more truth bombs. Nancy should take some steps away from Clyde right now. The fact that he merely sold stolen jewels instead of killing someone is not truly a check in the "pro" column! Listen to your wise daughter, Nancy!
Ciara left her purse with Jan. Just sitting right there on the bed. Sigh.
LINE OF THE WEEK:
Will: "I don't snore"
Ben: "Like a chainsaw. I went to the commissary to get ear plugs, still didn't help!"
Will: "Excuse me, remind me why I was your best man again?"
Ben: "Well, maybe you took pity on me because I had no friends."
Will: "Yeah, so maybe keep that in mind the next time you want to spread vicious rumors about me."
Like Mar and Ben, these two should not be friends, either. But giving them credit for the whole year they spent in prison together, I do like how things ended up here. If nothing else, I like that Arianna and baby Bo will get to be buddies.
They went through the trouble of making a program for the funeral. But none of the pallbearers was a DAYS character. Hoping these are easter eggs for behind-the-scenes folks.
Flashing fireworks in Salem give me bad flashbacks to Ben's old apartment.
Nancy mentioned Joy!
Cady McLain looked stunning. May I have a bottle of whatever she's using for that skin?
Knowing she was leaving that day on a sea vessel, Ciara looked at her closet and thought, "Cashmere crop-top, lace-up mini skirt, and thigh-high boots it is!" Never change, Ciara.
I like how Marlena has been involved with helping Thomas and Charlotte from the beginning.
Oh, we're back to running! Remember when that was a thing Brady and Eric did all the time?
I love that Ben was the one wearing the baby around in a carrier.
Note -- should anyone truly describe Leo as "average looking"?
Nine years?!? Has it been that long since E.J. was shot?
Did Jan stop for oranges on the way to the docks? Again, I'm impressed with her efficiency! Maybe she can give me tips on how to get my kids dressed and loaded into the car on time.
I like Rafe and Ciara's relationship, but I can see how those in the anti-Rope camp may feel a certain way about Rafe now being the godfather to Bo's namesake.
Aside from Ben and Ciara leaving town, Jake and Ava are also planning a trip beyond Salem. (Ba-dum-bum)
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