So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, I need some support. I have to do something that makes me anxious. Something that feels foreign and unnatural. Like, my fingers want to seize up and not write the following, but I must. I have to. It's my job. The thing is, oh, drats. This is hard. But here it goes -- I agreed with a lot of Bonnie's actions last week. I know. I know. That hurt. A lot. Excuse me. I need a second to collect myself. Talk amongst yourselves. I'll give you a topic. Mayo on fries: yay or nay?
Okay. It still feels unreal that Bonnie and I are somewhat simpatico, but here we are. Well. At least when it comes to Nancy and makeovers -- two things we both seem to love. I thought Bons showed extreme class and compassion toward her fellow "Mother of a Last Blaster" club member. Sure, I wish Kate could have made it a trio, as she's all style and advice, but what we got was special, nonetheless.
It was all rather shocking, really. Bonnie didn't press Nancy to get revenge or give her bad advice. Instead, she related with a relevant, touching story, and she pressed Nance to celebrate her fabulousness and move on. She was kind, supportive, and, um, helpful. So un-Bonnie-like, but I repeat, "here we are."
Truthfully, Bonnie's praise of, "You're an attractive, charming woman, and girl, you are in your prime" needs to be Nancy's new mantra. Yep. Bonnie pushed Nancy to regain her confidence. Ms. Wesley was successfully sprinkled with a little Bonnie magic. And that's how Nancy got her groove (and red hair!) back.
Okay. This continues to feel abnormal, but I have to say it, anyway, "Thank you, Bonnie." No. Stop. Don't take another step. Unlike you and Sonny, we're not at a hugging stage yet, but, again, "thankyouverymuch." Now, go check on Nancy before you bring up your stupid daughter, Mimi, and ruin this truce. Oh. That felt more normal. Sorry. Sonny is a better man than I when it comes to Bonnie. He's willing to move on. I will, too. Eventually. Until then, I'm keeping an eye on you, Lockhart.
In other Nancy news, I found her scene with Chloe poignant. It was important for Nancy to know how Chloe felt and vice versa. There are so many layers to this bombshell, and I'm glad the writers are taking time to cover the fallout. There have been some missteps, for sure, but also some great aspects, too. And Patrika Darbo and Nadia Bjorlin were brilliant! So, I count that as a win for DAYS fans.
Another win was Nancy versus Leo! I knew Patrika and Greg Rikaart would be wonderful sparring partners, and I wasn't disappointed. Sure, Leo had the right message -- getting along would be best for everyone, but it was just delivered too soon, especially from someone who might not have been sincere about it.
In fact, the entire "Has Leo REALLY changed!?" question is looming large on the canvas. Though another ponder should be, "Does Leo have to change to keep Craig's love?" To help uncover some answers, please welcome home, using your best Oprah voice, "WIL-SON!"
I'm so thrilled about this! Individually, Sonny and Will heartwarmingly caught up with Justin and Marlena, respectively, and then came together to take Leo down after Brady flashed the "Wilson" signal for them to rush back to Gotham. Um. Salem. Because I'm so happy, I'm even ignoring that they didn't come back to compel Satan from Marlena but did so to help "Team Broe" complete "Operation Free Craig." It's a worthy cause, of course, too.
Of course, Craig seemed 1-800-Not-Interested in Sonny and Will's side of that sordid story. They might have even made it a little worse for the time being, but good will prevail, right? Or is Craig okay with dating a possibly recovered, but probably not, baddie like Leo? I feel like he's getting the picture from everyone loud and clear, and at this point, he doesn't mind the view. So, should everyone leave Craig alone or continue with the mission?
In other mission-minded maneuvers, Renee DuMonde was on one to find a divorce lawyer to free Tony of Anna and herself of Alex. Alex Marshall! They went there. Excuse me while I attempt a celebratory backflip. Okay. Maybe I'll just shout, "Woohoo!" That seems safer at this stage of life.
Needless to say, Xanimal was shocked to see Sarah in the square! Paul Telfer and Linsey Godfrey's chemistry did not miss a beat, even under the bizarre circumstances, which I kind of love, as I'll take this nod to Renee for a while longer. I'm eager to see how this all turns out. And as long as nobody goes to mail a letter, the storyline should have a happy reunion at some point, I suspect.
Conversely, during Xander's utterly stunned twitterpation upon seeing Sarah again, did anyone else have the desire to ask him, "How's Gwen?" I'm fairly sure his response would have been a tongue-tied, "Who!?" because Ms. Rizzy-Czech most certainly didn't exist to him in that moment.
Paul Telfer did an amazing job of relating Xander's heartbreaking confusion on the matter. Though I also loved that Sarah called him "Alex," as in "Alex Marshall!"
Off and on topic, I'd love to see more throwbacks to Alex Marshall. His original portrayer, Quinn Redeker, is a legend. Another amazing performer? Blake Berris! I'm not sure if Quinn is still acting or has retired, but I know Blake is still working hard. Which leads me to wish...
Nick was Alex's grandson. What if Jessica had twins, but just as Nick's brother was to be born, Jessica snapped into another personality (as she once suffered from dissociative identity disorder), and that personality gave him away for adoption. Stranger things have happened on DAYS. Perhaps that twin was named "Marshall" and raised by his grandfather or one his associates. That would bring the ever-talented Blake back onto the screen and tap into the rich history of the show. It might even get Jessica and Marie back in town for a visit. Just an idea.
Meanwhile on Planet Gwen in the Seriously Lady!? Galaxy, she wondered if Abigail and Sarah returning home was her cosmic punishment. Oof. I'm just going to write "YES!" on a sheet of paper and slowly slide it across the table toward her. Feel free to cosign it until room runs out.
Eli called Billie Reed and mentioned Director Donovan. I'm in! Could a visit from Billie be in the works, too!? Either way, again, I am all in on Team Eli! Go, Detective Grant, go. Go get that son-of-an-itch, T.R.
John and Marlena asking Justin to be their lawyer!? Yes, please. I love the idea of this vet-filled court fight. I also love the follow-up to Mar's possession. It could have easily been swept under the rug, but it's sure to give Deidre Hall some meaty material to sink her teeth into, and that's never, ever a bad thing. She's our leading lady for a reason.
To play devil's advocate, as it were, should Marlena stop shrinking and start a new career or maybe even retire? She could write a helluva autobiography or true crime novels. Maybe she could mentor a new psychiatrist (one of Justin's sons or Joy Wesley, or perhaps Paul Narita changed careers while in San Fran). Or perhaps she could start a talk show! She could team up with J.J.'s old bestie, Rory, and they could be the "Martha and Snoop" of Salem. I don't know why that popped into my head and makes me so happy, but it does.
Then again, Doc might be busy defending herself in court or otherwise occupied. Something about the statement that Satan encouraged someone to cheat on their spouse as a form of self-care screams, "Mar's going to end up in another Stella Lombard-like pit!" This all has me intrigued...and worried about Marlena!
Do you think execs at the other companies in Salem just laugh at the revolving door of CEOs at DiMera Enterprises and Titan? If I ran a business in town, I'd make DE and Titan CEO bingo cards and play with my peers. Cover a square if you had Gabi Hernandez-DiMera! She's the CEO du jour. Sorry, Jake. You'll laugh about all this as soon as the next exorcism is over.
Also, I'm glad more Salemites are connecting the Satanic dots. Sure, Susan is fooled for the moment, which, you know, isn't that hard to do, but CIN and Jake are fully aboard the Johnny is the Devil Express. Let's get others on this train. Pronto!
I'm going to be honest. It took me a minute to remember that Tripp and Ciara used to date. Whoops! I was like, why is C-Town so close to Allie's ex-fiancée? Yep, whoopsy. I should get Dr. Kayla to check my brain. Or maybe Satan is messing with my memory. Who knows? But I digress.
Also, fine. I'll be the one to finally say it -- Allie straight-up sucks. She's giving up a person who will wake at some ungodly hour to turn off her alarm and take care of her child while making her waffles with peanut butter and honey just so she can ease into consciousness. She deserves that alarm-inducing heartache. And I'm giving Tripp my address if he wants to wake me with peanut butter and honey drenched waffles should the mood strike. Though, again, I digress.
Honestly, Allie deserves to be happy and all, and hooray for her accepting responsibility, but she needs to sort some things out and make a solid choice. I believe she cares for Tripp, but I also believe she loves Chanel. Maybe Will can help her come to terms with her feelings now that he's back in town. He can even bring Doc Mar Mar along for the visit. She has extra time on her hands. Eek. Too son? Anyway. Will is smart. He can help. And I'd love to see the siblings reconnect!
Looping back, the scenes between Tripp and Ciara were nice. And Tripp needs nice right now. I also thought it was a sign of true friendship that they could be candid with one another, yet it remained classy and supportive.
Still, I did feel bad for the dude when he expressed his frustrations on coming in second place. Who wants to tell Tripp that things usually happen in threes? Then again, maybe it was karma for the way he treated Claire Bear regarding all the Haley stuff. So, perhaps he's even, and the next relationship will be a winner. Yep. That's it! I hope. At least he'll have pal Ciara to lean on for support. There's that.
Hmm. Ava escaped with a little help from Gwen and Ned Granger, a.k.a. "Saul Goodman." I wonder if she stowed away on the same flight that took Jack and Jennifer back to Boston. Holding them hostage would be classic mob behavior. Vintage Ava. They could be a bargaining chip to keep Salemites in check if she needed some leverage or trade. I repeat, "Hmm..."
Also, is it sad that I think "Saul Goodman" probably has a better shot in court than most of Salem's real lawyers?
In other legal news, Rafe's fate is in the hands of the jury. Nope. You didn't miss the trial, either. It was off-screen. With all the buildup and such, it's a bit head-scratching we didn't even get a glimpse or two of Raferoni in front of the judge. It seemed like a big deal until it wasn't. We'll just have to wait for Nicole's next update.
In yet more head-scratching legal news, what the Weston!? Clyde is up for parole soon!? Okay. Sure. I guess this is the jailtime equivalent of SORAS-ing. I mean, if a Clyde-sized sentence equals a few years in prison, a ten-year sentence should last, like, a month, maybe? After doing the calculations, we should probably tell E.J. he was free to leave Statesville 15 minutes ago. Oh, soap time. Gotta love it.
Orpheus! Welcome back, Milo. With the devil in town, you're the second worst person in Salem. I bet that stings!
I love the bad guy code of ethics. Orph was all, "You done me wrong, I fired back. We good." And Clyde basically, "Yeah bro." He's also -- again -- hoping to be paroled soon, and Orpheus is eager to have a connection on "the outside." Considering his only ones now are his estranged daughter with changing faces and his stupid yet handsome son, well, Clyde would be an upgrade, I think.
Belle's right, Eej. Don't trust Clyde. It doesn't appear like he will, but I love the scenes between him and his cellmate either way. I also enjoy the flashbacks. This high-tension tightrope walk has me on edge. And bonus points for more Belle!
It's time, folks. Who wants to be the one to tell Belle she should chuck the red coat? Although she looks ravishing in it, it's not bringing her any luck. At all. First Jan and now Satan. What's next? Will Sami swaddle her in it and try to sell her on the black market...again!? I look at this as an excuse to go shopping with 'Tink and maybe celebrate St. Paddy's afterwards with some whiskey at the pub. Okay, fine. Twist my arm. I'll do it!
There was a lot to celebrate last week, but I must scream again, "Welcome home, Wilson!" Chandler Massey and Zach Tinker are Must-See TV. Their chemistry is crackling, and, despite the circumstances on-screen, they bring a bit of sunshine with them. Plus, this is Zach's first time on DAYS-proper, and it already seems like he's been there a lifetime. Cheers to happy returns!
Listen here, "Johnny Angel." You just made it personal. No, you didn't go and hypnotize Li Shin! I'm gathering the gang and heading to Salem to slap a little Satan out of Johnny.
LINE(S) OF THE WEEK
Xander [on the phone]: "Yeah, hi, Jack...umm...you wanna go ahead and finish that story you were trying to tell me?"
Chloe (to Brady): "Well, if I'm going to make nice with Leo, I'm going to need a drink. Correction. Several drinks."
Leo (to Chloe): "Salem Search is not your friend."
Bonnie (encouraging Nancy): "Come on, Jessica Rabbit!"
EXCHANGE(S) OF THE WEEK
Leo: "Nance. May I call you that?"
Watching Chad and Gabi going at it over the CEO spot made me suddenly feel old. It seems like only yesterday a younger, more naïve Gabi was sweet on tall hipster Chad while floppy-banged Mia and Baby Will tagged along. Time flies!
"Relationships end for all sorts of reasons, and just because they don't work now, doesn't mean they never did. You just have to treasure all those good memories." Damn it, Bonnie. Wise again. Are we sure this isn't Adrienne!?
"...even Julie, and she's a tough nut." You are right about that, Paulina!
I was so excited to see Wally Kurth and Judi Evans! It feels like it's been an eternity since we last saw them on-screen. Worth the wait!
The tone in which Nancy stated, "His name is Leo" was pure "ouch!"
Mar was dumped by her third patient this week. Tripp, well, you know that story. They should commiserate over some FroYo in the square.
Clyde was reading The Devil Wears Prada. One, ha! I love this. Two, that tracks. He does love him some powerful women, amIright, Kate?
Susan makes a valid point! The word "crazy" is rather judgy and unkind. Then again, she's a bit wacko. I kid. I kid.
I always love vintage flashbacks.
I don't mind a smart schemer, but Gwen's disappointing me, considering her years of experience carefully crafting and executing revenge plots. She's good at the long games, but bad at winging it.
Bonnie's story (and support) about her friend Dennis was also pretty awesome. Guh. I can't give the Big Bon Bon this much praise in one column, but yeah. She scores some points for that, too.
Maybe Tripp can babysit little CIN-A-Bun someday if he's missing Henry.
I loved the follow-up to the "Don Craig" joke and Laurisa's "LINE OF THE WEEK" the Two Scoops before. "Renee" had to admit that Anna was right. That stung but was funny.
I dig Jake and Ben's friendship. It works. And without it, we wouldn't have gems like Ben telling his bestie, "Dude. Maybe you weren't fighting a kid. Maybe you were just sucker-punched by the devil!"
Leo wasn't wrong-wrong when discussing Brady. He said, "Oh, please. That man is a total drama queen." If the crown fits and all. Or maybe, "It takes one to know one." Either works.
I always love Marlena and Will reunions! Happy times. I was disappointed she didn't squeal, "My Dear Boy," though given her week, I'll give her a pass.
Li wasn't lying when he stated there's always drama at DiMera.
Nor was Sarah -- sorry! Ms. DuMonde -- lying when she said, "Lots of people in this town have been dead before." Ha! So, so, soooo true.
And I'm not going to lie. I want to sit on a porch swing and drink a mint julep while hearing more about the Banks family tree. Based on what we've already heard, that's got to be one wacky history lesson.
While Kate deserves the spotlight in her own storyline soon, I love her commentary from the sidelines. Lauren Koslow's delivery was spectacular when Jake said he trusted Gabi, and Kate snarked, "That's a mistake."
Something makes me believe that Leo and Gwen would make good friends.
Ciara's zinger that she had two top mechanics around and they still didn't put together the baby's swing was great.
Will asking Marlena, "The devil kept seeing your patients!?" was hysterical. Sad. But hysterical.
I love that John loves so hard. His hugs are epic. His jubilant disposition contagious. We need more returns just to witness more of his joy. Or give this man a puppy! That would be an amazing merry meeting.
Speaking of a joyous John, just how happy would he be to see his son Paul!? I know I would. And he could take up that aforementioned shrink mentee role with Marlena. John's son following in Doc's footprints? Um, yes!
Hearing Satan say, "Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?" made my Batman loving heart skip a beat! I could almost hear Jack Nicholson's voice and the cackle that follows. I think it's time to turn on "Batdance" by Prince and happy dance.
Has everyone seen the interview with Billy Flynn and Zach Tinker!? They're talented and hilarious. We really do win as DAYS fans!
It doesn't seem like Jake was totally brainwashed by the devil the way Susan was. It wasn't as thorough. Does that make it a brain-sponge-bath?
To answer my own question from the wee beginning of this column, if Lani wants to have mayo on fries with someone, she can call me. Love that combo. And would love to do anything to keep her away from T.R.
So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's it for March 14. Laurisa is back next week and ready to rumble if the Bradys didn't throw a St. Patrick's Day shindig! Like, Roman really better be ready with at least one green beer and a shamrock or else there will be hell to pay. And, as always, thank you for reading, and "That's a fact."
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