Alrighty then

While a hopeless Hattie's plans crashed and burned, Lucas scorched Sonny and company so badly they may need aloe for their burns. And then Lucas saw Will! Plus, is Hope a runaway bride? Will Brady brag about being right or go on a bender? Was Tripp too overdressed for moving? Let's chat about all things DAYS in this week's Two Scoops!

Breaking DAYS news: Gabi did not get abducted last week. I repeat, "Gabi did not get abducted last week." Nope. Not even a casual kidnapping, hostage situation, or long pause waiting for elevator doors to open. And we now return to our regularly scheduled Two Scoops already in progress...

In not-so-breaking DAYS news, Sonny, Paul, Abigail, and Chad talked more about their double wedding. No, really. They did. Hey. At least they weren't in the hospital while doing it, which made the scenes vastly different than the weeks before. There's that nugget.

Oh, and Gabi discovered that it's not just Sonny and Paul's wedding -- it's also Chad and Abigail's. She was a little taken aback by that. She's not so sure she will go. I get it. I'm not sure I will, either, Gabs. Maybe we can hang out at Club TBD instead and wait for Chloe to perform, but I digress. Don't worry, though. Ari Grace will still be the flower girl either way. Gabi even helped her practice. It was cute.

Speaking of cute, Sonny, Paul, Abigail, and Chad had said chitchat about the wedding and flipping coins. They even explored St. Luke's. And then a drunken Lucas arrived and blew up their joyful noise with a few rants that would have made Kate proud, you know, if Lucas was sober when said rants were detonated.

The breakdown: Still reeling from "Adrienne" dumping him, Lushy Luc had been fired by his mom and denied access to Arianna Grace, and he's still mourning Will, so Lucas had zero flips to give and gave the quad a piece of his plastered mind. It was soapy deliciousness! In a sad-for-Lucas kind of way, of course, but Bryan Dattilo's performance was something to see! Wowza. If that doesn't go on his Emmy submission reel, he's a bigger dolt than Brady.

And, yes, I buried the lede. My bad. My bad. That is, Lucas saw Will at the end of Friday's episode! Yes, Will-Will! I'll let you cheer with excitement and rush back to your DVR to re-watch it a few more times...

I can't remember the last time I was so excited to see a character randomly show up (who wasn't named Kristen or Vivian, of course). Will said, like, one word, and we have no idea if he's a real son or a holy ghost, or if Lucas' empty flask is just making him hear and see things, but I don't care. Will is back in some capacity, and for now, that will do. I just hope whatever they have planned will smooth over some of the former writer's biggest blunders, you know, like killing off Will in the first place. We shall see, but let's just do a little happy dance while we can and cross our fingers.

LOOSE ENDS: Fear not! John and Marlena are okay. Andre is, too! No one's brain received any electrical shocks. They were rescued by Roman and Paul while Hope had it out with Hattie. It was some intense action. Still, I'm glad this storyline is winding down, but it is leaving us with a juicy mystery -- someone was strapped down to a bed at Bayview! We don't know who the nutso is just yet, however some recent casting news might have spilled the psycho beans, and I couldn't be happier. Click here if you want to be spoiled!

To loop back, the Hattie storyline. The performances have been marvelous. Deidre Hall's take on Hattie, especially, tugged at my heartstrings. Hattie's "don't touch my stuff" and concerns that Roman will hate her were downright pitiful. As it turns out, Hattie had layers, and Deidre crafted them perfectly, considering Hattie could have easily been a one-note comical gimmick. Sadly, however, I don't think Mad Hattie will ever become Mrs. Mr. Roman. Sorry, gal.

Meanwhile, Bonnie bounced around with her special brand of Bonnieness. She's on edge, as she's afraid she'll be ratted out by either Hattie or Sheila. It was good for a few chuckles. For now. But I won't be sad to say goodbye to this storyline when it wraps up, and I'm loving that Marlena will be a big part of blowing Bonnie out of the water. Go get her, Doc!

You know, Brady's not wrong-wrong for assuming there's a little something-something simmering between Eric and Nicole, even if they don't entirely realize it yet. I mean, if I were ever stuck in a cabin during a blizzard, I'd want to have Eric and Nicole around to keep me warm because of their smoldering chemistry. Yet Brady's handling of the situation just isn't working for me. At all. I get that he's scared to lose Nicole, as his track record with losing women is up there with the number of times Gabi's been kidnapped, but his actions are just off-putting. I simply don't care if he ends up with the current love of his life at this point because he's acting like a putz. I want better for Brady.

Here may not come the bride! Hope is dragging her feet when it comes to walking down the aisle with Rafe. She feels "everything is so great right now" with their status quo. R-Dawg wants to tie the knot. I'm kind of on Team Hope here. This couple doesn't offend me, but they don't exactly excite me either. I mean, I'm happy if my gal Hope's happy. There's that. Yet I feel less paperwork binding them together is better for a quick out if need be. Plus, Hope became a widow -- twice in less than twenty-four hours -- a few Novembers ago. I get her hesitation. Not to mention we still don't know what happened to Emily Hudson, do we, Rafe? Hmm.

Gabi and Eli, huh? Not so subtle, but not so bad. They're an attractive couple. Though I kind of suspect Eli wants to take Gabi to the wedding to make sure Chad makes it down the aisle, which would ensure he has a legit chance with Gabs. That Eli. He's such a hot dog. Anyway...

Three things are clear regarding Gabi and Eli. One, Gabi is a great gift-giver. A Gameboy!? Yes, please. Two, Eli could also win my heart with ice cream. Just saying. And, three -- say what!? Julie and Gabi played nice. That was hella crazy.*

* Please note, Julie said "Just this once I'm going to butt out." Subtext: she reserves the right to butt in later. Well played, Jules. Well played.

HOT Welcome back, Chandler Massey! Just seeing Will for a second made me downright giddy. Sure, we still don't know if he's a ghost, a figment of Lucas' toasted imagination, or a real Will, but I'm happy nonetheless. It feels like one of the greatest wrongs in recent DAYS history has started to be righted. So, cheers to that (and a warning to the new head writers -- do right by our boy)!

NOT Oh, boy. I think we have another doppelgnger on our hands. Was it just me, or was Maggie very, very incredibly very un-Maggie-like last week? I mean. Sure. Bonnie can drive anyone a bit bonkers, but Maggie seemed more like Miranda Priestly from The Devil Wears Prada than downhome Maggie Simmons-Horton-eventually Kiriakis. I've never heard Maggie -- who hand-delivers homemade baked goods in baskets with ribbons tied to them while riding a rainbow unicorn made of smiles, giggles, and cute cat memes and surrounded by animated baby animals, and Maggie, who hasn't passed a sorrowful sap with a sad story she won't A.A. it out with -- say things like, "I handle staffing in this house," or call someone -- anyone -- "rough around the edges" then demand their work be perfect or they'll be fired. Mags is like the fairy godmother of granting second chances to all. This seemed extremely out of character for her, and I'm ba da ba ba ba not lovin' it. That's all.

LINE OF THE WEEK Victor (to Bonnie): "Is there anything -- anything -- I can do to make you stop talking?"

EXCHANGE OF THE WEEK Victor: "So. How are things going with Adrienne?" Justin: "Great." Victor: "You don't think she's acting a bit odd? I mean, more odd than usual?" Justin: "That's what happens to people who move into this house." Victor: "Justin. She wants to confide in me. She wants to tell me about her personal feelings, and I hardly have any interest in my own personal feelings. Imagine my distaste hearing hers."

RANDOM THOUGHTS Was it just me, or did Tripp seem a little dressed up for moving? I mean, who buttons up all the way while lugging boxes. Relax, man.

Gabi and Arianna Grace's park bench scene was adorable!

Right. I forgot all about Holly's snorty breathing problem. Maybe Nicole should have that checked out, or at least run a paternity test to make sure her dad really isn't Darth Vader.

Whud 'da hell, John Black!? He said he owed Roman a beer. Ya think? Though I kind of want to see these two drinking together. The stories they'd reminisce about would be awkwardly entertaining and would most likely start with "When I was Roman..."

Do you think Marlena will become jealous of Gabi as Yo Gabba Gabs is making a serious play for the Most Abducted Salemite Ever Award, which is sort of Mar's bag?

Abigail is one hell of a peacekeeper! To rein in Andre and Kate is pretty impressive. Hat tip, girl.

Ha! Hope's "Hattie...Hattie..." was kind of brilliant. Kristian Alfonso needs more chances to flex those comedic chops.

I really, really hope that Lauren Koslow is submitting herself for Best Supporting Actress in the next round of Emmys.

Can we all agree that there need to be "Calm down, Brady!" T-shirts made?

Geez, Raferoni N' Cheese. Go easy on Eli. Calling him a "hot dog" was pretty harsh. #whatwasthat!?

Yes! I always loved the Brady Pub, but that quick peek at the drink prices on Wednesday confirmed it's an affordable place for happy hour.

Um, how did Hope and Rafe know about Hattie being Dead Anj's helper? I was a bit confused.

Theo and Claire are back together. Alrighty then. Though happy couples in Salem only last a week or two, so...

If Nicole needs a tiebreaker in her decision over Eric and Brady, let's take a look at this: Eric's favorite childhood snack was peanut butter cups. Brady's was red jellybeans. I mean. Jellybeans have their time and place, but chocolate and peanut butter!? Yes, please. Eric for the win. And if he could please bring peanut butter cups. Win/win.

T-Boz is cracking me up as Sheila! You can tell she's having a great time.

Yes! John brought up Belle! Come home, 'Tink. Come home soon. Oh, wait! She is. And Shawn-Douglas, too. Can. Not. Wait.

Sure. Sure, Eli. You were waiting for a "delivery service" in just a towel. Sure. Okay. *stage wink* But quickly answer -- was it FedEx, UPS, or Tinder?

I hope Allie Horton never hears Lucas' laundry list of things he's lost, as she wasn't on it. I mean, she's not lost-lost, but she hasn't been found in Salem in years sans a photo we didn't see of the twins and Sydney. Eh. I guess that will give Allie her reason to be a little cray, as that girl is bound to have some issues.

Speaking of long lost children, shouldn't Melanie meet her little sister? You know, the Oracular Babe that would have been the light of Dr. Dan's life. I mean, with Holly, it's like, "having a little piece of Daniel back," or so said Nicole. Aww. It's like he never left. Never, ever...ever flippin' left. Ever.

Conversely, one could also add the following to little pieces of Daniel around: Mel, Parker, Brady's heart, the shrine to Dead Dr. Dude in Horton Town Square, sunsets, sunrises, the midday sun -- hell! Just the sun, though it doesn't exactly shine as bright as Dr. Dan did. Maybe if the sun wore a puka shell necklace, hung a little ten, and hit on some patients, it would be almost as rad as Dr. Dude. Almost.

I adored Doug and Eric's bonding moment. Doug's "don't close yourself off" speech was lovely. And, really -- how amazing is Bill Hayes!?

OMG! Hattie had a fashion board on Pinterest. Why are we just hearing about this now? I've got to go there.

I was never worried about John's memories. Dr. Rolf put them on a CD before downloading the RoboJohn software. Sure, John might not remember the past few years if they were reinstalled, but, considering what happened in Salem during that time, is that so bad? Is it?

Nicole: "Holly wanted ice cream." Eric: "Holly can't talk." Tony (to his TV): "OMG, I love them!"

Brady looking longingly at booze all week made me realize he's an amateur drunk. Lushy Lucas knows enough to carry a backup. And don't drink, kids. #themoreyouknow

PARTING THOUGHTS So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's Two Scoops for the week of September 18. Laurisa will be back next week to determine if Will was a ghost, a drunken hallucination, or a moving, talking, walking real boy! And "That's a fact!"

As always, thanks for reading! Tony

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