Insane in the membrane

Are the doubles about to get caught? Should Eli give Gabi another...um...shot? Is Kayla digging herself a hole? Let's discuss it all in this edition of Two Scoops!

After two dragging weeks, I feel like we're back on track. I guess DAYS crammed five days' worth of work into four. I'm good with that!

I'm also good with donating money to buy Gabi a whistle or some self-defense classes. That poor gal got kidnapped uh-gain! Seriously, Gabbers, it's time to start using the buddy system.

Might I suggest Eli for your buddy? Now that the obligatory Chabigail roadblock is out of the way, Gabi deserves a good storyline. (Um, the sheer fact Camila Banus had to suffer through those dang baseball scenes should earn her a ton of good soap karma.) There was a spark of something between Gabi and Eli that got unceremoniously squashed way too soon. I'd say him saving her life is a good way to get things back on track.

Oh, and yes, Rafe -- that's exactly what Eli did. You can have a seat with that accusatory attitude. That shot he fired is one reason your sister is alive and in Salem right now.

Of course, the other reason could have been Gabi herself. I guess Raines didn't read her rap sheet. Push this girl too far, and she'll shoot your butt! I couldn't help but be proud of both Gabi and Camila for how far they've come. The standoff scene between Gabi and Raines was very well done.

From one gal who's growing to another who's regressing...we've got to talk Kayla. We've all been there. There's at least one point in your life where you look back and think, "Man, I wish I had handled that better." That's exactly what I see coming for Kayla.

Her emotions are completely understandable. However, her actions are falling short of the Kayla we know she truly is. She's not this petty. (Really? Not taking Tripp's money for the hospital? I'm pretty sure the DiMeras and Kiriakises both have wings named after them at that place.)

We're talking about the woman who forgave and grew to genuinely care for the man who raped her. Let's not pretend that Kayla is such a small-minded person that she can't see past the Tripp situation (let this situation "Tripp" her up?) to see that she's really mad at Ava -- not Steve or Tripp. Much as I love Steve and Kayla, I think Kayla needs to find someone else as a sounding board for her frustrations. It's a shame Marlena is locked up right now.

Jarlena is understandably ticked at Hattie. But I think she should be given credit for basically carrying this whole operation. The lady came to town to take her shot with Roman and punish Andre. She accomplished both.

I gave Ron the benefit of the doubt when he started this storyline, and I'm glad I did. Now that Hope and Sheila are on the case, the doppelgngers will wrap up soon. We suffered through a year plus of Deimos and Clyde literally getting away with murder. A few weeks of Hattie and Bonnie pulling a con seems like nothing -- especially when it means we get to see Deidre Hall and the previously criminally underused Judi Evans get to stretch as actors.

Plus, I like the freedom afforded these storylines. I've wanted Lucas and Adrienne to split for a while. I like seeing Jarlena work together again. I'm pleasantly pleased with Chloe and Lucas as scheming knuckleheads. Nadia Bjorlin plays an excellent straight man to Lucas' comedy.

Sure, there were a few downsides. I have a super hard time buying Roman rejecting "Marlena" instantly. If I never see "Adrienne" hit on Victor again, it will be too soon. And while I'm glad Maggie is more than just the couch counselor for Brady and Nicole, I don't believe she would be this short with Adrienne. Forgiving people who hurt Lucas is her thing. (See: Lane, Chloe)

But the big moments made those headaches worth it. I howled with delight when Hattie stood up at that press conference and double-crossed Andre. That was worth the price of admission for this whole thing. One of my biggest problems with Andre's return has been this stance that he's "fine now." I'd make the argument that he's the most dangerous villain in DAYS history. (At least Stefano had soft spots -- his kids, Marlena, etc.) Andre was pure evil. His stay in the mental hospital is more than a little overdue.

Plus, his commitment could mean a visit from Abigail. For some reason, that pair is one of my favorites. I kind of hope he's Abigail "man" of honor.

LOOSE ENDS: Has it ever happened that one couple gets married during a double wedding, and the other doesn't? Asking for a friend.

To be fair, if John got his memories wiped, we all know he'd be fine. That's the only thing that happens more often than Gabi getting kidnapped.

Not buying Andre's anger over Kate "backstabbing" him. I suppose his next move is to march right over to Abigail and give her hell for cheating on Dario. You know, since marriage is so sacred, huh, Andre?

Nicole getting Holly back was touching. Brady making it about himself was not.

Ron's really good at writing the heck out of characters on their way out the door. Aaron D. Spears turned in a helluva performance as a villain.

HOT: The Abe and Raines scene was truly spectacular. Raines had some comeuppance due his way, and Abe was just the man to serve it up. It all capped off with Abe hissing to Raines, "Your time is...going to be haaaard time." No one delivers a line like James Reynolds. In fact, every time he gets the whiff of a storyline, I find myself remembering what a good actor he is. That's my roundabout way of campaigning for more screen time for Abe. Make it happen.

NOT: Theo's getting dangerously close to "I don't want you, but he can't have you either." Not cool. Personally, I think Claire's choice between Theo and Tripp is like "trying" to pick between a stale goldfish cracker and a gourmet grilled cheese sandwich. With bacon. And a side of chocolate brownies. #ishipclipp

Whatever side you come down on -- Claire is a selfish brat or Theo is a judgmental dolt -- most fans tend to agree that revisiting Claire and Theo is a bad idea. Their current scenes are awkward and forced. This pairing doesn't do much to further either character. I dunno. They feel a little bit like the next gen Sami & Austin. It seems like both of these people could do better.

LINE OF THE WEEK: Adrienne (to Sheila about the Kiriakis family): "Yes, yes. They're very much ballers." If there ever was a more Caucasian delivery of a line, I haven't heard it. Judi Evans for the win!

Honorable mention: Claire (to Theo): "So would you get off your high horse about this, or would you rather ride it right out of this apartment?" Yaaasssss, Claire!

RANDOM THOUGHTS Even the commercial break cliffhangers are better now!

Not loving Kate's new affinity for braids.

Paul, man, you pay attention when people offer you desserts and snacks!

I'm glad Valerie got her ice back.

That face! Thomas! I just wanted to hug his little cheeks!

From Brady's blue checkered to J.J.'s blush, the boys are bringing it with their sport coat game. Look out, Andre. Them boys are coming for you!

The commercials for the return of Will and Grace make me super happy.

I love that Paul is in touch with Shane.

Raines and Dario ran their counterfeiting ring from Nicole and Brady's Canadian hideout? Nifty.

According to her tweets, Nadia Bjorlin was well into her third trimester when these scenes aired. In related news, Nadia Bjorlin is a beauty mutant.

Anyone else wish Sheila had answered, "Maybe I'll try to be a singer," when asked what she'd do after prison?

Hey Jen, this is the third Chabby wedding. I think she's over the idea of being the center of attention.

Tori better be coming back for this Paulson wedding. Please and thank you.

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