With satisfaction when we're done, satisfaction of what's to come

It's almost here! The ''Age of Carlivati,'' that is. There's only a few more episodes left under the old writers, and, like when Deimos died, who's ready to celebrate the dearly departed? Let's wrap up the second-to-last week of dismay in this week's random DAYS Two Scoops!

We're almost there! Almost. Soon, it will be yet another new era of DAYS. Gone will be the Higley Nightmare Regime. We'll be in the "Age of Aquarius," err, "Age of Carlivati." Yep, yep. Another few years, another head writer change. I'm going to face this like a first date after a bad relationship -- be cautiously optimistic, have a Scotch in hand, and a friend on standby, ready to fake an emergency to get me out if the situation turns south.

With that, we have one last Two Scoops to scoop through in this Higley litter box. Laurisa will be back next week to say goodbye to the glum. But I have to be honest, this is like the second to last week of school. Summer is in sight, and my care factor has gone from "What the funk, lady!?" to "Nope. Don't care. It's gonna change in a week, anyways." So, since the flip-flops are on, Steve's barbequing, and everyone needs a break, let's celebrate a few years of random storytelling with a random Two Scoops of last week. I'll wait for you to grab a drink, apple pie, and some of the Patch Man's grilled goodness...

It wasn't an extravagant Horton and Brady picnic, sadly. It wasn't even a day at the lake so Salemites could show off their beach bods, but I'll take grilling out with Steve and the gang over the nothing we've gotten the past few years. Plus, there were red, white, and blue flowers, bows, ribbons, bunting, and cups! It was a star-spangled surprise that I hope continues until the grander traditions are brought back.

Holy hilarious, Batman! I want to DVR every episode of The Andre, Kate, and Lucas Show. That was some seriously snarky, sidesplitting stuff. And we seriously need more of that, please!

I wish Dario had taken Abe's order instead of getting married. Abe eating a BLT and fries would have been much more desirable TV than that wedding. Ooph.

Oh, yeah. Abe's totally calling for delivery next time. Or sending an intern. That's the kind of stuff they're not paid to do, Mayor.

Victor kind of sums up my feelings about Deimos' death. He said, "I don't mean to be glib about this, but what does it matter who killed him?" Amen, Brother Vic. Preach. If we find out who did it, I'd split the cost with Victor for a "Hero's Day Parade" and getting the culprit a plaque next to Tom and Alice's.

And based off the following exchange, Kate and Andre could be the grand marshals of the parade. They quipped: Kate: "Would it be crass to toast to Deimos' grisly death?" Andre: "You want us to toast to the demise of a man who was skewered like a kebob? Me, too."

Though I'm surprised Kate thought a knife to the heart was "grisly," considering her daughter's bloody body was once beaten out of a giant turkey piata, and her wedding dress was covered in Roman's blood, moments after they wed.

Never let it be said that Jennifer didn't raise gracious children. Abigail said she wanted to show her gratitude to Dario by helping him (a.k.a. marrying him), and now J.J. said he'd "Take one for the team." That "one for the team" is murder charges, by the way.

Nevertheless, nearly all the scenes between Jennifer, Abigail, and J.J. last week were on fire! Melissa Reeves, Marci Miller, and Casey Moss have great family chemistry. I also love that Jennifer loves hard but isn't afraid of tough love. More, please!

Speaking of charming family moments, I enjoyed Hope and Julie's "carpe diem" chat. It was touching. And a great use of history.

Can't the Salem P.D. just lay Baby Holly on all the suspects' chests until she identifies the one who murdered Deimos? And then, of course, she would forgive the killer of their sins. After all, that's what Dr. Dead Dad would do.

Roman, yes! Say "Yes!" to Steve's offer to consult with Black Patch. You still get to run the pub for stability plus you get to day drink and fight bad guys while being snarky and using cheesy one-liners. Ro Ro, that's all you, bud. Do it.

For those keeping track: Hope and Rafe have been officially cleared as suspects in Deimos' murder investigation. J.J. appears to be the guiltiest, which most likely means he's totally innocent. Sonny eventually did the right thing and confessed after chanting, "It had to be me." Meaning, it probably wasn't. Stay tuned!

"Shadow the Jedi pie master." Yes, Steve. Just yes to all of that. You win.

The best part about all this legal drama? More Justin! I will never be tired of Wally Kurth getting more screen time. Never. He's super talented, dipped in delightful dimples. More, please.

Oh, Tripp. He's a big Paula Abdul/"Two steps forward/two steps back" mess. He had second thoughts about destroying Kayla. So he called Jade. Jumpin' Jiminy Cricket, dude. So close, Tripp, yet so far away.

Aww, Gabs! Remember when Abigail had enough self-respect to walk away from Chad because she didn't have his entire heart (or attention for more than a minute)? Remember that? Well, girl, that. Do that. It's looking a little sad sticking by his side right now.

Finally! Nicole admitted she wasn't in love with Deimos, just attracted to his willingness to say what she wanted to hear. Or something like that. Either way, we can cross Deimos off the list of great loves of Nicole's life. Like he was on it anyway. Sorry, Dirty D.

It's official! Brady trusts Eric and Nicole. By "trusts," I mean he totally doesn't. At all. But he said he did. That was nice. I guess it's the thought that counts.

I hope Sonny was packed for that guilt trip Victor took him on after Uncle Vic heard him think about confessing to murder. Vic told Sonny Boy it would be like Deimos winning if he turned himself in. He also said that Sonny is the future of Titan and the family. And then Vic tore off his suit to reveal a sparkling gown and broke out into "Greatest Love of All," crooning, "I believe the children are Sonny is our future; Teach them him well and let them him lead the way..." It was touching.

Not to be a buzzkill, but I'm sort of with Hope. Last week wasn't really the time for big romantic gestures. What Rafe did was endearingly sweet, but it did feel off amongst all the murder mystery stuff. Just a little, but way to carpe diem, Rafe. Sorry, J.J.

With that said, Rafe going to Doug, Victor, and Roman was honorable. The show was really going the extra miles to be respectful to "Bope" fans. Which I'm sure made "Wilson" fans happy, since they waited as long for Sonny to get hit on by someone...at Will's fresh gravesite. Oh, right. That mess. Moving on...

Though I thought Rafe and Victor's approval meeting was the most meaningful. Not only did they talk about Bo but also about being the second great love of someone's life. I was glad Vic brought up Mickey to draw a comparison.

Kayla told Steve she was happy but waiting for the other shoe to fall. I totally get that feeling, Sweetness. Steve told us, err, Kayla, "Now listen to me, we are going to be happy for a very long time. You got that?" I hope that was a glimpse of things to come on DAYS in general, Patch Man.

Um, if Eric's kindness and generosity to that former vet didn't make Nicole think about putting on her Rollerblades again, she needs a session with Mar Mar. #swoon

Oh, oh! Lani got a hypno session with Mar. She remembered a dog named Noodle then being locked in a garage. I know an awesome cat named Noodle. So, there's that.

I can't be certain, but I'm pretty sure Chad had issues with Abigail marrying Dario. I mean, I picked up on a little hurt and hostility.

Man, Theo can't catch a break in the job department. Karma for being a creep to Claire? You decide.

Poor Mr. Morales.

And poor Abe, too! He just wanted lunch, not to be the ringmaster of a freak show wedding debacle.

Joey almost told Tripp the truth about Ava. Again. I really thought it would happen this time. #noIdidnt

I've never felt worse for Abigail than when she had to kiss her new hubby. Oh, that kiss. The look of pure disgust on her face. I get it, girl. I've felt that way about most storylines since the fiftieth anniversary fiasco.

I'm worried about Sonny and Chad. Their vibe is off a bit.

Was it just me, or did Chad come off as one of the most concerned people worrying about J.J.? He was ready to front money to help him. He also came off way more caring than Sonny did during their brief chat (though Sonny later came around). Julie was eating chocolate-covered strawberries instead of wringing her hands. Well, I get that. Those berries did look divine. And J.J. isn't Nick, so...

Sure, Abe. Call Jennifer to get her permission to marry her twenty-something-year-old daughter of legal age and sound mind. Oh, wait. I get it now. The "sound mind" part might have made him nervous. Good call, Abe.

I get the concern, Seth, but let's not humiliate the chief of staff in the middle of the hospital lobby. I think HIPAA, HR, and common knowledge would all have a problem with that. That was all rather tacky. Ah, well, such is this storyline.

Brady and Sonny's fight was unintentionally funny to me. It's like the guy who casually works when he wants to and isn't fleeing the country is trying to look moral over the guy who just fired fifty people. I really wish Justin had gotten the position for a while.

Yay to a Marlena and Hope scene! Though Hope shouldn't worry so much. Rafe already had his doppelgnger storyline. Remember Fafe!? Exactly. So that card's off the table. Though we still don't know what happened to Emily Hudson. Hmm...

Jennifer asking Chad to help with the Abigail/Dario situation was coming from a good place, but that's sort of like someone suggesting you ask the person who just beat you up to beat you up again because they didn't totally break your nose the first time. It doesn't exactly work that way, Jenny Bear.

At least the Horton Center offices are nicer than the church's ones. There's that, Eric and Nicole.

Whoops! I forgot for a second that Paul and Brady are half-brothers. That makes more sense that Paul pleaded with Brady to go a little easier on Sonny.

Do you think if I Mean Girls Jade, she'll leave Salem? Just in case, I'm starting a rumor -- I mean, a true fact *wink* -- that she's a grotsky, little byotch who made out with a hot dog. Go. Run with that, Internet. #byebyeJade

I adored Abigail when she threw shade at Dario and asked him sharply, "Deny myself joy!?"

More so, I adored Abigail's "ugh" and eye roll when Dario said, "I'd like to make a toast." Abs and I really must do lunch now. I have a notebook full of reasons Dario's annoying.

So, Chad was upset with Gabi for dancing with J.J. while tripping on Halo extreme and later showing her concern for an ex who was arrested for murder, but while he was riding the 'Lo 2.0 he renewed his vows with his ex, kissed her, and later threw a hissy fit at her wedding while daydreaming about recommitting to her. Gotcha, man. Yep. Maybe Chad should be single for a minute.

Would (or should) Tate still be in a stroller? Isn't he like ten or something.

Yay! Lucas brought up Austin and Billie. I hope they visit soon. Oh, and Philip, too. Poor Phil.

Doug's delight over Rafe asking for his Princess' hand in marriage would have been much sweeter if Rafe had thought of it himself.

Um, I think before Deimos died, he may have worked at Hobby Lobby. Eek!

Oh, Claire. Way to take sound advice and do the opposite. Aunt Sami would be proud.

I absolutely loved the nod to Mary Beth Evans via Kayla's famous apple pie-making skills.

Yikes. Sonny's already rescheduling play dates with Arianna Grace. That's not a good sign.

As Dario seems to be every gal's second choice and first choice to place in the "friend zone," I get why he had to resort to trickery to land a lady, but it doesn't make him any less icky for doing so.

Soooo. Aren't there security cameras in the nurses' lobby? I mean, like, really.

Oh, Rafe. Don't worry. Most people have said worse to Julie than, "Don't take this the wrong way, but you gotta go!" In fact, things usually begin with "Go to..."

Hey, Nurse Shelley, take it down just a notch.

Speaking of Nurse Shelley, as I watched her, I could only wish that she had been Nurse Lynn Burke or even crazy Ali McIntyre instead.

Also, I kind of wish the cater-waiter at the event had been former bellhop/current assistant to someone Derrick. That would have added a juicy layer to the story as well as tested Derrick's morals -- would he send Sonny up the river to have Paul available? #wewillneverknow

Was I the only one unsure that Julie actually knows what "afternoon delight" means?

I think it's time for the talented Melissa Archer to return to DAYS as Sarah Horton, who's now a lawyer and reopens Mickey's law firm.

Rafe said to Hope, "I know that I asked you to marry me before and you said, 'No,' and your reasons made sense to me." Was I the only person who yelled, "Um, you mean last week, dude?"

Abigail said in her, uh, "vows" that Dario was there for her when nobody else was. That's kinda true. Everyone else thought she was dead. Well, sans crazy Andre and even crazier Gammy Laura. Still, she's not wrong, but it's just as sad.

Crazy thought! Chad and Abigail should just get together already. Gabi will understand. She's been a great friend to both. And, well, Dario, he can go back to Mexico. I have his bags already packed for him, and his ride will be there as soon as I'm taken off hold with the Alguna Vez Ms Horrible Cartel. Whoops! I meant "Immigration," not the cartel. The cartel. Blah! They might hurt Dario. Wouldn't want that. Festive hold music, though.

Maybe Roman should hang out by the Martin house around 8:15 or midnight to meet this Mrs. Garland. She might not be happily married, and he could use a little romance in his life. Clang, clang, clang went the trolley, right, Ro?

I adored that Hope was there for Jennifer and J.J., but, even being cleared of killing Deimos, she shouldn't be near the investigation. Neither should Rafe. That's like giving Ben Weston a jailhouse job in the Statesville gift shop next to the neckties. Not a good idea. At all.

HOT Major kudos to the major talent that is Casey Moss! He rocked. He rolled. He sliced. He diced. He simply was amazing last week.

NOT No. Stop it now, writers. Andre should not fall in love with Kate. I don't want to see their Jack and Karen vibe messed up any further. Hearing Andre say that after such a fun, dysfunctional day with the DiMeras was disheartening.

LINE(S) OF THE WEEK J.J. (to Abigail about her spontaneous wedding): "On your lunch break? How romantic. Ceremony come with fries?"

Kate (to Andre in front of Lucas): "I always try to be very respectful of my children's choices. [pause] Although that tie is testing my resolve."

EXCHANGE OF THE WEEK Julie: "Rafe made me promise to keep you here and to keep my big mouth shut." Hope: "And we both know you're not very good at that."

PARTING THOUGHTS So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's Two Scoops for the week of July 10. The next time I'm up to bat, DAYS will have a new head writer! Well, a semi-new head writer who's been here for months, but whose new material will be airing beginning July 19. You know, that entire five- to six-month time lapse *whisper The Matrix.* In any event, Laurisa will be back next week to wrap up the Higley era of DAYS. In fact, I think the decorations are still up from the "Deimos Is Dead" party she had, so be prepared to celebrate! And, "That's a fact."

As always, thanks for reading! Tony

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