What's the point of trying to dream anymore?

Oh, Canada! Nicole's dream life turned into a nightmare as Brady was blasted by a baddie back from the dead. Plus, let's see what storylines are being set up for May Sweeps as we head to the Great White North in this week's DAYS Two Scoops, eh!

Why, hello, Xander! Yep. He's back. And he put a bullet into Brady, but we'll get to that in a few. Let's first talk about Brady, Nicole, and lots of ooey gooey love in the afternoon...

I'm a glutton. I really am. I know my Nicole-loving heart is going to be crushed, but I couldn't help but be a little thrilled for her happily ever after happy for a few hours with Brady, Tate, and Holly, and daydreaming of dogs, dogs riding bikes, farmers' markets, and hardware sales. It was like a romance bomb dropped in their cabin. I mean, Nicole flashed that hopeful old-school Nicole "I May Actually Find Happiness" Walker smile, and I wished for nothing more than that feeling to stick around for her this time. And it did. Again, for a few hours. There's that.

Look, I get that this storyline is contrived. What did we expect to happen with Brady "I Fall Hard in Love in Two Seconds" Black and Nicole in a cabin, right? And, sure, it's rushed, but I do believe there is a genuine love between Brady and Nicole. I'll play along. I've always rooted for them to be an endgame for one another (if Eric was unable to fulfill his duties as Nicole's soul mate, of course). So I enjoyed that Nicole got to smile, got some sweet loving from a nice guy who bakes cupcakes for his kids, got to eat some frittata, and dream a dream of a little Canadian fairytale with Brady and the bunch. Again-again, for a few hours. And then Xander came to Canada and blew everything up.

Though if Xander shot anyone, I wish it were Scooter. And maybe Deimos, too. But I digress...

Full disclosure: I'm a horrible person. Don't throw cyber rocks or burn effigies of me (again; you know who you are), but, and for purely selfish reasons, I want Brady to need a new heart because of Xander's bullet. I don't wish another fictional character dead so that Brady can get one, but if Brady didn't have St. Dr. Danny Boy of Jonas' heart, then we'd never, ever hear stuff like, "Daniel's heart beats in Brady's body," and, you know, crap like that. So, yeah. I'm horrible, but I kind of want that to happen, but, again, I digress...

Ultimately, hello -- Xander's back! I love this creep, thanks to the talents of Paul Telfer. This is also a storyline direction that makes sense for Nicole and Brady. Xander hates them. He hates them both. He hates them all. He's ready for revenge, and I'm ready for this showdown. Ding, ding! Let the Sweeps games begin.

LOOSE ENDS: For the record: Theo is not jealous of Ciara and Wyatt. He's stressed about possibly failing bio. Got it, pal.

Though, if one were to play devil's advocate, I might be picking up on a little "Theo's jelly" vibe. Just ask Claire. It's pinging on her radar, too. But I'm burying the lead...

That is, Theo is Wyatt's wingman! Twist. You know, it's better than a lot of options. I didn't want to see Claire thrown under the bus for a possible Theo/Ciara reunion, or Chase coming back with either a redemption notion in mind, or revenge. With Theo, it's coming from a good place. It really was, but there's still some problems like...

Ciara was raped by her stepbrother on the family's heirloom sofa. She doesn't need more reasons to be wary of guys she trusts. Not only could this set Ciara's recovery back (which, let's be honest, we never really got to witness properly anyway), but I'm afraid this will ruin her relationship with her best friend and a seemingly nice, albeit a little brosef-like, guy who's legit into her. Plus, I don't want to see Bo and Hope's daughter leave Salem as a defeated shell.

So, yes, Theo should certainly stop Cyrano-ing for Wyatt, and they should tell Ciara the truth. Maybe she'll see that Theo was trying to do a nice thing and everyone will just get along, but she deserves the truth nonetheless. In the meantime, Uncles Patch Man and Roman should look into this guy some more, just in case.

Even when they're disagreeing, Gabi and Abigail are pretty damn civil. It's refreshing. And they both made great points. I don't disagree with Abigail about wanting to have her husband's full heart. That should be a given. She gets a "You go, girl!" for valuing herself. I also don't disagree with Gabi that Abigail does often make life-altering decisions for others. Lately, I've become more interested in their friendship than either of their relationships with Chad.

I've also become invested in Gabi and Eli. They're refreshingly honest with each other, too. He does seem to be going into things with his eyes open, though it's his heart on his sleeve he may want to shield just a little bit longer. Sure, he has swagger and some swoon worthy charm, but even with an abundance of honesty, things can still get ugly.

Oh, and stop worrying about Chad turning into his father. Antiquity thievery is the DiMera equivalent of regular folks munching on a few grapes before they check out at the grocery store. He'll be fine. I mean, what could go wrong with Kate acting as his Jiminy Cricket?

Speaking of things that will definitely not end badly, Jade, am I right? Yeah. She's moving in with Tripp. That might expedite the truth coming out, and I'd be okay with that. It's not that this storyline doesn't have juicy drama, it's just that said juicy drama is written on the wall. I'll be fifty shades of shocked if the "Joey fatally fluffing Ava's pillow" storyline doesn't go boom because Jade opens her mouth. Yep, I do want it to explode, and then we can move on. However...

Jade's about as stable as plate of Jell-O in a bouncy house. She told Steve, "We'll be family someday. Someday soon," and later said of Joey, "Someday you'll love me as much as I love you." Right, Jan Spears, Jr. Her commitment to craziness and Joey actually makes me believe she might keep her word to the Johnsons. I mean, she can't be Mrs. Joey McBrain-Trust if he's in the slammer. Then again, I could totally see Jade being a hybristophiliac. Either way, girl is whack, and I see a "Love Cage" in Joey's future. Good luck getting your rental deposit back, Tripp.

Oh! Tripp called Steve "Pops." That's a start, right? Well, maybe not. While he sees that Steve might be a cool dude, Tripp can't get past that his dad murdered his mom. Tripp, really. Are we still on that? It's been weeks. Move on, bud. I kid, I kid. His feelings are legit. And thanks to Jade, Tripp's beginning to wonder if Steve's covering up more than a wonky eye. That is, he's starting to suspect Steve didn't kill Ava. This is getting interesting, and I hope it keeps a quick pace. Oh, and I wonder who Tripp will pin as the suspected culprit. Hmm!?

Snap! Maggie almost killed Roman. Well, not really. He has a nut allergy. Who knew? But Kayla saved him. Tripp helped. It was impressive. And a real bonding moment for the three. So, yay for Roman nearly dying. All's well that ends well. Let's just not celebrate with anything nutty. I guess that rules out Jade being there.

Hold the phone. I thought Kate bought the Martin House? I mean, I know she moved into DiMera mansion again, but when did she sell? I'm curious as to who owns it! Would it be too much to ask for it to be Carrie and Austin, or Belle and Shawn's new side gig!? But with my luck, Scooter and Skeeter probably moved to Salem and are setting up shop. Grrr-ate. Anyways...

Paul is moving out of his dad's penthouse and into the Martin place, and so is Abigail! That sounds like there will be some pretty fun pajama parties. I'm kind of jealous. Though, I wonder who else will end up there and how long the Martin House will take to turn into Melrose Place? Maybe J.J. will move out of his -- never mind. I can't finish that thought without bursting into laughter. I think he and Jen will be roommates for life. Have fun, Bates family.

Speaking of J-Pat, J.J. is all shades of concerned for Lani as she's going undercover as a prostitute to take down a guy named Snake. No, really. That's happening. I guess "Snake" is a more menacing name than "Scooter." We'll go with that.

On a positive note, I hope Lani kicks a lot of hourglass in this storyline. Lani the Detective is much more "Girl Power!" than the former incarnations of her character. She's tough. I like that. Though I really wish she'd phone a friend for backup. I've heard that doesn't hurt to have while investigating a psycho who could possibly be the mastermind of the disappearance of six women.

More so, I just don't want this to turn into another round of Lani -- a trained detective -- being victimized just so a big strong man can rescue her. I admire J.J.'s concern, but Lani is a detective, too. I hope the show remembers to treat her like one.

I'm also glad that Lani wasn't sexually assaulted. DAYS has done enough degrading of women the past few weeks with the Scooter storyline and its ongoing general misogynistic undertones. Both of which need to stop. Like, stop for good.

Though if the writers taught us anything lately, it's that all a bad guy needs to do to turn his life around is to make his wife dress up like the object of his unhealthy obsession, and everyone gets a happy ending. Mrs. Snake, congrats! You're about to get some spiffy new clothes from the Spencer's pleather and faux-fur line.

HOT The deliciously devilish and all-around talented Paul Telfer is back on DAYS and Nicole brought up Pookie!? Um, yes, please! He's an amazing actor, and Nicole is one more martini away from being, you know, closer to Nicole. I repeat, "Yes, please!"

NOT Thank you, writers! I was so worried about Scooter and Hillary. I'm so glad for the several updates on their well-being throughout the week. Now maybe Mr. Child Porn Lovin' McSkeezy Pants and Mrs. Clueless Cray-Cray McNosey can move to L.A., meet Summer the Bummer, and we can just group all these horrible storylines together into a spinoff entitled Nobody Cares. Oh! And thank you, too, for that one throwaway line explaining Caroline's glaring absence. She's only been around since 1983. Who cares about Ma Brady when we have Scoots and the Hills to worry about. Yep. Solid storytelling.

LINE OF THE WEEK Victor (to Deimos): "Oh, a plan. I hope it's better than the last one. Or the one before that."

TRUE 'DAT LINE(S) OF THE WEEK Gabi (to Abigail): "You are very difficult to figure out." Eli (to Gabi): "I'm starting to realize my new family is pretty complicated."

EXCHANGE OF THE WEEK Lucas: "You're brutal. You're terrible at making people feel better." Anne: "My therapist said I gotta watch my filter."

RANDOM THOUGHTS Tripp said that Steve can't bring Ava back from the dead. No, Steve can't, but it's Salem, Tripp. Just hang in there for a few, and Ava may resurrect. Just ask, well, almost anyone in town how often that happens.

If Maggie is delivering muffins, I can text her my address. Just saying.

I kind of loved all the random character interactions this week! Steve and J.J., J.J. and Roman, Gabi and Abe, Gabi and Val, Hope and Abigail, Abigail and Maggie, onward and so on. Fun times. More, please.

Um, shouldn't Thomas and/or Tater Tot be talking more by this point?

The apocalypse might be coming! Detective Commissioner Raines actually smiled. Holy moly. And he even seemed a little smitten with Abigail. Interesting.

I still want Chad to go on an Eat, Pray, Love journey to sort out his mixed emotions and come back healthier, happier, and with Kristen and E.J.

Dario to Myron: "Don't call me buddy." Hilarious. Just hilarious.

I know Gabi is pretty polite, but maybe she could lock Deimos and Julie in that meat locker and let them do away with each other. Problem solved. You're welcome, Gabs.

Though in the above scenario, I'd almost (but not really) feel bad for Deimos, as Julie would eat him alive. #orignalbadass

Lucas likes well-done French fries. Me, too! Fist bump, my man.

Claire and Ciara's reconciliation/"I love you" moment made me happy. They're kind of Jen and Hope 2.0. They need to be on good terms.

I still think it's a fail that Rafe and Eli don't know each other from the FBI. Rafe has always had a "phone a friend" contact. One should be Eli.

Remember when Chez Rouge was the "it" place to take a date? Yeah. Whatever happened to that?

Maybe Caroline is having lunch with Rex and Cassie at Chez Rouge, and we just can't see them.

On the topic of places in Salem I miss, which is a long list, I'll narrow it down to the Cheatin' Heart. Aww. I adored that dive. Good times, good times.

Related, I think I discovered the source of my secret animosity toward Sonny -- he changed the Heart to that coffee shop and that coffee shop into that club with bad lighting. Dr. Marlena is going to be proud of my progress, and Sami will be proud of me for not letting go of years-old grudges.

Yep. We definitely needed an Abigail/Chad/Gabi split-screen to point out they're in a love triangle. I don't think I would have picked up on that any other way.

Opinion: Eli's smooth talking to Gabi such as "Is he a good kisser?" and "If you're nursing a broken heart, I have the antidote." Are those dated player lines, or is he just a confident cornball? I can't decide.

I hope to see a "Tripp meets Stephanie" scene someday. In the meantime, Tripp needs to meet Aunt Adrienne, like, last week.

Brady asked, "What are cage-free eggs?" Um. Let's break this down word for word, Bradyster. He better let Nicole do the learnin' with the kids.

No, seriously, Holly needs to be checked for asthma. I'm not sure that snorty baby sound is normal. Then again, I send my babies to boarding school, and they return as teens within a few months. #soaplife

Hmm. What's this "Halo" drug? And who's behind it!? It causes erratic behavior and amnesia. Back in my college days, we just called it Jgermeister and the weekends.

PARTING THOUGHTS So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's Two Scoops for the week of May 1! Laurisa will be back next week with a Post-EMMYs Two Scoops celebration, but be sure to cheer on Team #DAYS this Sunday night! And, "That's a fact!"

As always, thanks for reading! Tony

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