Alex North Memorial Awards: Worst of DAYS 2014

Sometimes the dog bites. Sometimes the bee stings. Sometimes your favorite soap simply sucks your soul. So join us two Two Scoopers as we bitch and complain, and find out what made us so mad... this year... on DAYS... as we present the Eighth Annual Alex North Memorial Awards!

You know, watching a soap is a lot like a romantic relationship. When it begins, it's all fun and games. You can't stop talking about it. In fact, you gush when anyone is within earshot, whether they want to hear about it or not. You look forward to seeing it every day and can't wait until the next get-together as soon as you part ways. You're obsessed. A bit love drunk. Yes, the beginning is all about merriment and wonder.

And like all relationships, things change. That gleeful gushing becomes grim griping. Your friends begin to miss the days when you went on and on about dreamy dates or little love notes left in your pocket. Now all you talk about is your rapidly growing not-so-significant other's inability to be spontaneous, or how that cute little chuckle they make when nervous has become a cackle that makes you want to scream, "Grow a pair!" You continue dating out of habit or reluctance to break up. You moan, "Ugh," when you're planning to see them instead of counting down the hours. Yep, the honeymoon is over, pal.

So, you can look at it this way -- last week's Golden Donut Awards were like the dreamy dates and swooning. This week we're bitching to our friends over lattes and/or booze. The relationship's gone a bit sour, and we need this couples counseling from our mates in order to remember why we fell in love in the first place. Venting makes us realize that, yes, DAYS, we still love you, but here are the things we can do without. So, come on, join us as we celebrate commiserate the Eighth Annual Alex North Memorial Awards: The Worst of DAYS 2014!

WORST NEW CHARACTER

Laurisa: Clyde Weston True, I do love me a good stereotype! Remember when E.J. went around town, eating fish-n-chips, saying "Gov-nah," and cleaning people's chimneys? Or how about how Caroline is always drunk and guarding her pot o' gold? Ha ha. Those things are such a hoot! In fact, I don't know what about Clyde I love most -- the deep-fried hillbilly talk of moonshine and pickups, the fact that he completely got away with E.J.'s death, or that DAYS had to set up a whole new cast of players (Ben, Jordan, Jeremiah, and Miguel) just to support the Clyde show. Trick question. The thing I loved best was that Kate got played like a total, incompetent chump. Good times.

Tony: Marybeth If I had a "Burn Book" I'd totally write down that Marybeth "made out with a hot dog" or is a "little byotch." You know, if I had one. I know it's a bit mean girl of me to pick on a high school student, but this walking, talking Public Service Announcement took my last nerve and Irish step-danced all over it. It's like she wasn't a real character -- just a one tricky pony spouting clichs about what people shouldn't do. Don't drink. Don't smoke. Don't laugh. Don't bat your lashes. Don't run in the halls. We get it, Marybitch. You don't like fun. The worst part is, the actress was talented, and the writers could have crafted several more interesting storylines for her -- pairing her up with Rory, or having her go full-blown obsessed with Paige (you know, more so than she already was). Alas, we just had another condescending Judgmental Judy on our hands.

WORST SPECIAL GUEST STAR/ RECURRING CHARACTER

Laurisa: Ciara Brady I realize that kids act out. Especially when their fathers drop off the face of Salem. But just because that's realistic doesn't mean I want to see it. In fact, I watch soaps for the exact opposite reason -- escape from reality. And when in that suspended reality, I like my bad girls to at times be given a taste of their own medicine. So watching Ciara constantly act a fool with no one calling her on it was never fun for me.

Tony: Miguel Ultimately, this idiot killed our E.J. That kind of gives him a special place in soap hell on this list in and of itself. But also, he was a terrible henchman. He couldn't even pick a side and panicked under pressure. Not so good when dealing with such sensitive illegal issues. I guess Clyde did one thing right this year. He had this terrible turncoat "taken care of" and buried in a field outside of Poplar Bluff. Um, thanks, Clyde. Now go home. Get on outta here!

WORST RETURN

Laurisa: John Black I'm still not quite sure if he's back or not. He returned for about two scenes, then went in a coma for months, then had a brief promise of a storyline when he woke up, and finally he got sent back on a European time-out. With the frequency that he'd been on our screen over the past few decades and the number of storylines he'd amassed over those years, you would have thought he'd return to Salem with a bit more fireworks. Or, you know, at least a storyline.

Tony: Kimberly Brady Look up "Tony's Top Favorite DAYS Characters Ever!" list, and you'll find Kimberly in a nice comfy, cozy spot. I love her and her troubled self! So imagine my disappointment when Kimberly showed up on-screen and she was used as a prop in the enchanting J.J. and Paige saga. Oh, no, no, no, dear writers. Oh, no, no, no. That was a misuse of a beloved veteran character who could have had words with her troubled daughter, Theresa, who could have returned to Salem with Shane to give Hope an update on Bo (because I know Super Sleuth Shane could find out something), or who could have returned to Salem to lighten Marlena's workload, since she's a therapist, but, nope. She returned to prop the Paige storyline. #NotFair

WORST VETERAN CHARACTER

Laurisa: Jennifer Horton I kept hoping that the Jennifer Rose from days gone by would once again appear. But alas, there was no sight of her in 2014. In her place was the judgmental shrew who just couldn't fathom why Daniel would dare break up with her when all she did was make unilateral decisions about his life and the lives of his friends. She was clueless that showing up at an ex's door and asking to see his child was not the best way to a guy's heart. And she was legitimately shocked that a second Brady sister could dare be mad at poor, innocent Abigail. Ugh. Sad to say, my favorite Jennifer storyline this year was when she went to take care of Laura. I'd like to revisit that one.

Tony: Julie Williams When setting up my DAYS Dream House, there are only three versions of the Julie Doll I'd choose to play with. One is the humbled Post-Yoga Cruise Zen Fun Julie. Two is the delightful Reformed Sinner and Knows It Fun Julie. And the other is Book Club Stoner Fun Julie. The other Julie Dolls simply missed the Dream Boat. They include, but are not limited to, Screeching Nag Julie; Sanctimonious Shrill Julie; I Should Have Shut My Mouth Ten Minutes Ago, But I'm Still Talking Julie; I'll Pretend You're Not My Relative, Too, Because It Makes My Favoritism Seem Less Awkward Julie; and my least favorite, I'm The Only One Who Loved Nick Julie (which clutches her chest when you pull a cord). Thank all that is holy in Soap Land that any of the above mentioned Julie Dolls comes along with a Dreamy Doug Doll, who typically keeps us from running his wife over with our pink convertible Dream Car.

THICK AS A BRICK AWARD A typically smart character acting kinda stupid!

Laurisa: Stefano DiMera This is no knock on Kate or Sami, but how in the world did they pull that over on Stefano? E.J., I get. His love for Sami is his weakness. But last time I checked, there was no shortage of cigars or Limoncello. So Steffie doesn't have a weakness. Having two people steal his company right out from under his nose is pretty out of character for the big fella.

Tony: Kate Roberts I love Kate. She's an unapologetic badass with sass and spunk to spare. But in the case of Clyde, Kate became her own worst enemy. She didn't listen to anyone who warned her that Clyde's a creep. The guy's a drug lord who molested his stepdaughter, yet Kate decided to bury her head in the sand for a few rolls in the hay with him. Kate's mission to take down Jordan blinded her to the fact, or perhaps she was too proud to admit she was wrong. In any event, you'd think Kate's history of men like Curtis Reed, whom she ran from to protect herself and her family, would have given her some insight into Jordan's choices or set off some blips on her Skeevy Radar. Not so much, as it turns out.

WORST STYLE

Laurisa: Paige Larson Why they insist on dressing her like Jenny from the drug years on Forrest Gump is beyond me.

Tony: Will Horton Someday his epitaph will read: "He never met a cardigan or vest he didn't like."

MOST LIKELY SCAPEGOAT The character who got blamed for...well...everything

Laurisa: Sami Brady We started out the year with Nick and Gabi getting a chance to revisit Gabi's dehydration being Sami's fault. Then, we stepped it up a notch when Nick blamed Sami for "tricking" Gabi into hurting him. The pinnacle came when Sami got the majority of the blame when Abigail's name appeared in the article that Will wrote about the affair that Abigail had. To put a button on the whole thing, right toward the end of her run, we got another mention of Safe's breakup being Sami's fault too. True to form, if Sami's going to do something, she goes all out!

Tony: E.J. DiMera Remember the Occupy movement with the slogan "We are the 99%!"? Yep, pretty much 99 percent of Salem camped out in town square and bought into the "E.J. Occupied Abigail by Manipulation" movement. He was blamed for snatching Salem's junior sweetheart by her fluffy, white downy wings that she used to gently ascend from the heavens with and devouring her like a drunk does greasy food at four a.m. Um, yeah, about that, dear 99. Abigail kind of devoured E.J., too. It was mutual. She admitted that. She admitted that more than once. Like, a bunch of times. I applauded her for that. Too bad everyone else was too busy blaming E.J. to listen to Abigail. Nice try, though, Abs.

SWING-AND-A-MISS CHARACTER The writers kept trying but kept striking out!

Laurisa: Jordan Ridgeway Chrishell Stause is great. I really did like Jordan and Rafe. And I loved the broken, furious gal who confronted Clyde with the gun. But Jordan's storyline took way too long to develop. (See: over a full year to even learn her real name!) I never believed that Kate's supposed "in-depth" investigation into Jordan never once revealed that Jordan was raised by a crime lord. And worst of all, the secret she was carrying affected absolutely no one in Salem. It's not that they didn't try with Jordan. It's that all of the attempts never added up to a whole, cohesive storyline.

Tony: Ben Rogers It's not that Ben is a terrible character, per se. It's just, well, I'm not sure what he is other than a bit yawn-inducing. I know he's willing to do anything to protect his loved ones. There's that. He's a bit sentimental and appreciates the little things in life. And he wants to go to college. Good on him. But that's about it. His relationship with Abigail is great on paper, and they look pretty together, but it's bland. And they also remind me of the first twenty minutes of an abused woman Lifetime movie. His "Ben Smash" hair-trigger temper and the fact that he's easily provoked and manipulated doesn't bode well for this... let's be nice here and call it him a non-mental giant. Ben changed faces once in 2014 but kept the same "meh" personality. Here's hoping the writers decide to knock it out of the park next time they take a swing at sprucing him up.

BROKEN RECORD AWARD In case you didn't hear it the first five thousand times...

Laurisa: Nicole Walker Sorry, my gal spent too much time apologizing this year. First it was to Eric. Then it was to Daniel for hurting Eric. Then it was to the bishop for hurting Daniel and Eric. Then it was to Daniel for hurting Daniel. Ugh. Just Ugh. No doubt, she should have turned over that evidence. But the second the bishop gave Eric the option to return to the priesthood and he turned it down, all accusations that Nicole was the reason for Eric's forced retirement needed to S.T.O.P. But they did not. And that was a shame.

Tony: Eve's Moany Theme Music We get it, DAYS. Eve is a saucy minx. She's hot. She's seductive. So, let's tone down the tune. It's not even appropriate for every Eve scene, yet it's still played. Eve fights with Jennifer -- insert moany theme. Eve flirts with a guy -- insert moany theme. Eve is sad because someone died -- insert moany theme. Eve gets a hangnail - you better insert that moany theme. Dear lord. That wannabe soulful, but falling a bit short, theme is the lyrical equivalent to the front of paperback romance novel. Guess what? Fabio dressed up like a swashbuckler with an open white shirt to reveal his glistening pecs while a scantily clad, yet defenseless maiden sits at his feet, admiring him isn't sexy anymore either. It's over. Let it go-oh-oh-ohhh-ah-ohhh-waaahhh-mmmm'hmmm-whoa-ah-whoaaa-yeah'ah.

MOST REGRESSED CHARACTER

Laurisa: Will Horton This one was easy. Will hit such a high with his coming out storyline and then continued when he became a father. But after the wedding, Will went a little -- okay a lot -- wrong. First he saw no need for a formal custody agreement, since his brain-trust baby mama clearly wouldn't be manipulated by Nick again. Then he not only cashed in on his family problems but literally complained when no one properly congratulated him. (Turns out, there's not a "Congratulations! You're a Jerkface" card. That's your bad, Hallmark.) Finally, he dropped out of college and left his husband behind to travel halfway across the country for a too-good-to-be-true opportunity without much of a second thought. When it got to the point where Marlena was scolding her former "my dear boy," you knew it was bad. Oh well, at least he learned something about putting his career ahead of his respect for his husband. Oops! Never mind.

Tony: Nicole Walker I love me some Nicole, but Arianne Zucker's endless talents were sorely misused and abused in 2014. Nicole spent a few months happy-ish, a few months as a guilt-ridden liar (which was a huge regression based on her 2013 I'm Working To Be a Better Me Tour), and the rest of the year apologizing to nearly everyone and anyone. She's sorry, Eric. She's sorry, Dr. Dan. She's sorry, paper shredder. She's sorry. We get it. But seeing Nicole "Survivor" Walker, who used to go head-to-head with Victor, Sami, and/or Kate, reduced to an apologetic wimp with rinse-and-repeat dialogue was a disservice to an epic character fans love (or love to hate)!

MOST UNDERUTILIZED CHARACTER

Laurisa: Lucas Horton Last time I checked, Lucas has been single-handedly running one of Titan's subsidiaries for months. Additionally, he's a wealthy, eligible bachelor who isn't above getting his hands dirty when necessary -- which, since he lives on a soap, is pretty much always. Here's hoping Serena has to do some research at Mad World soon. She should probably start with the CEO.

Tony: Abe Carver Sadly, Abe was DAYS veteran show pony this year. They trotted him out to remind us he's still in Salem. Oh, and he got to play Santa. There's that, right? Ugh. I guess the writers attempted to give Abe a storyline for a minute by pairing him with Maxine. Now, I adore Abe. I love Maxine. But Abe and Maxine didn't really work. It was forced. It was convenient for the writers, I'm sure. But those aspects do not a soapy storyline make. At least, unlike Dannifer, the show realized the lacklusterness of it all and moved on. Still, Abe is such a beloved character with rich history that I'm dumbfounded they couldn't craft an amazing storyline for a widower (whose wife was a DiMera) that has close relationships to nearly every family in Salem. Let's hope that 2015 treats Abe more kindly.

MOST OVER-UTILIZED CHARACTER

Laurisa: Daniel Jonas Want me to watch Danny and Sandra Dee break up 1,000 times? Ugh, okay fine. Deep into a cocaine and booze relapse, Brady was able to take a break from it all to lead the hospital board's investigation into who drugged Daniel? Meh, I'm not crazy about that, but sure. But turn the tables on Kristen ever-lovin' DiMera and single-handedly drag her back to Salem by her arm? Um, no. Nope, sorry. There are a ton of other cop-related professionals who could have done that. There was no need to bestow that crown upon Daniel.

Tony: Jack "The Devil" Deveraux I joked at one point in a Two Scoops that Jack's photo got more screen-time than Matt Ashford did during his last run as Jack. Spoiler Alert: I wasn't kidding. Last year, I picked Jack for this award, too. This year, he proudly defended his title by being bastardized by a storyline that was a total time-suck. Rory was right. Paige had no right to know about Jack's past. Instead, we had a hack job plot that dragged Jack back through the mud, rarely focusing on his redemption (thank God Kayla was there to point that out from time to time) and basically wasted the talents of several great actors whose characters were forced to walk down a road it didn't even make sense for them to be on. This storyline was also a misuse and overuse of Jack which kept the diehard group of Jack fans grumpier than Eric "Pouty Face" Brady. Jack fans can't even hear words that end in an "ack" sound without flying into a rage. So, why, oh why piss off an entire fan base for the sake of a boring, soulless teenage romance? Let it go, writers. Let Jack rest in peace in 20-15!

WORST SHOCKING "WHAT THE &%$#?" MOMENT

Laurisa: Marlena offers to counsel Abigail True, Marlena and Sami haven't always had the best relationship. But I didn't ever expect Marlena to actually seek out and offer help to the woman who purposely interfered with Sami's family. At the very least, Abigail was complicit in hurting Johnny and Sydney, and I know Marlena cares about them! We don't see Marlena and Jennifer together, so it couldn't be out of some undying loyalty to her best friend. But there Marlena was, going out of the way to put her professional reputation on the line to help the randy nanny. To top it all off, it was completely unnecessary. Abigail had enough people in her corner. She didn't need Sami's mother too. Marlena should have just stayed out of it.

Tony: The Emmy Red Carpet Preshow Skanks Ladies From no network wanting to host the festivities to ceremonies that seemed to have little to do with daytime TV, haven't the Daytime Emmys suffered enough the past few years? Nope. Not at all. The 2014 shindig started out with an hourlong ode to poor taste thanks to the ever so classy red carpet preshow hostesses. It's like the four of them were competing for an Olympic medal in Classlessness and Ho. From rape to racial "jokes," these gals didn't hold back, and, luckily neither did nearly all of the daytime community and its supporters who collective gave these *insert derogatory word of your liking* a "D" grade. "D" for disgusting, that is.

WORST SEND-OFF They either died or departed, but their farewells were less than stellar.

Laurisa: Liam Frasier Sure, it's a little weak that Liam -- a man who handles controlled substances as part of his professional capacity -- is so mentally unstable that he's obsessed with Jen after two dates. But as we've discussed, revealing that Liam is really Peter Blake would have sewn everything up perfectly. Except it didn't happen that way. Talk about a tree branch to the gut. Tony: E.J. DiMera I get the entire "Live by the sword, die by the sword" type poetic justice DAYS was perhaps trying to achieve with E.J.'s death, but, lemmejusttellyou, it didn't work. And I get that random things happen in life that no one could ever predict (not even Celeste, sorry). People die. It sucks, but this is Soap World. People bounce back from the dead as quickly as they bounce from bed to bed. So instead of a last hurrah for E.J. (since he had that injection full of magic that would revive him, perhaps), some random, dimwitted turncoat plugged him, and that was that. He's gone. Clyde took care of Miguel. And E.J.'s family is in L.A. The poor guy doesn't even have a storyline waiting for him to resurrect to. Welcome to Soap Hell, Eej. We saved you a seat. Sorry how you got here!

WORST LOVE LIFE

Laurisa: Roman Brady Much as I would like to see Roman and Marlena again, eventually it gets to be a little pathetic that Roman still follows her around. And this year was especially tragic. He passed on the wealthy socialite who truly thought he was the bee's knees for a chance with Mar. Alas, instead of picking the cowboy steak, she literally went for the vegetable. Tough break, Ro.

Tony: Lucas Horton The poor schmuck guy finally gets lucky with a leggy brunette named Sheryl, who genuinely adored him. He was her first choice (and that's perhaps a first for Lucas). But surprise, surprise, mama bear blew his bliss out of the water. That would be less sad if it was the first time Lucas' love life was ruined by Kate. Alas, she's managed to screw up most of his relationships via interference and manipulation. Good work, Kate, but rent Psycho and take notes. You may rethink smothering Lucas after that.

WORST COUPLE

Laurisa: Daniel Jonas and Jennifer Horton Remember all that gloating I did about Hope and Aiden having a poised, classy courtship? Well, Dannifer is the anti-Haiden. Danifer literally broke up because Jennifer went and tattled on Daniel's friend. In her defense, Jennifer was probably too busy making sure her ponytail was straight to garner a working knowledge of the bros-before-hoes philosophy. It happens.

Tony: J.J. Deveraux and Paige Larson You know what happens when you put a bright, festive crackling sparkler into a bucket of stale, room temperature water? It kills the poor little firework. I'm not saying that Paige is a bucket of stale, room temperature water, but I'm not saying her presence didn't kill J.J.'s sparkle, either, thus creating a non-sparkly teen romance that an even a MTV show wouldn't touch.

I DIDN'T GET IT AWARD Umm, right. What just happened here, and where did it come from!?

Laurisa: Sami goes to Hollywood Alison Sweeney gave DAYS ample notice for them to craft a good exit for Sami. And, to their credit, they managed to give her a masterpiece of a storyline, not to mention the heart-ripping scenes when E.J. died. So, for the life of me, I just did not get why approximately 72 hours after crying over E.J.'s corpse, she was literally jumping for joy in the DiMera living room at the prospect of having a movie made about her life. Not only was it too soon, but Sami never wanted that kind of celebrity attention. Be it getting her parents back together or landing the man that she wanted, Sami spent two decades in Salem -- by hook or by crook -- trying to put together the family she wanted. So, going through this Hollywood ruse to secretly reunite with E.J. in witness protection? That I'd buy. Dropping everything to go halfway across the country and be a single parent in one of the harshest cities in the world? That one was a little head-scratching. Tony: Theresa's Poor Girl Routine Um, okay. I get that the Brady family are, in general, supposed to represent the middle class, hard-working townsfolk in Salem. But Theresa is only part Brady. The other half is Donovan. And once upon a time ,Theresa's dad had a little ol' house called Donovan Manor. Not Donovan Shanty or Donovan Hovel. No, it was Donovan Manor. Oh, and let's point out the fact that Kimberly's ex-fiance, Phillip, who had a hand in raising Jeannie-Theresa was a successful film producer who moved Kimberly and tykes to California. I don't think she grew up poor, so I'm a bit confused to why she'd played the poor girl "I never got nice things" routine. More like, poor little rich girl, if you ask me. Well, Jeannie-T, even Kelly Taylor knew enough to grow up. Try that.

WORST STORYLINE RESOLUTION

Laurisa: Eve agrees to settle the lawsuit Jennifer vs. Eve was actually one of the rare times when I didn't mind Jennifer in 2014, mainly because Melissa Reeves and Kassie DePaiva are great together. So, I was bummed when the lawsuit over Jack's money was settled out of court, and nearly off camera. Think of the possibilities! Aiden and Justin could have been involved. We could have had special appearances by some of those great characters who knew Jack back in the day. The trial would have been a good chance to give Abigail and J.J. at least one other piece of information about their dad's past. Plus, imagine how much more soapy it would be if Eve pursued J.J. out of revenge after losing the case! But, nope. That didn't happen.

Tony: Bo "The Abandoner" Brady We can all agree on one thing. DAYS had to address Bo's ongoing absence with something definitive to allow Hope to move on with her life. But let's take a look at some Salem players here and see if maybe, just maybe, something a little more exciting could have happened. Hope is a detective and the love of Bo's life. Roman is a celebrated cop, Bo's brother, and Hope's good friend. Abe is another cop and practically family. John is a super CIA Agent and one of Bope's best friends. Shane Donovan is another super spy and another Bope bestie. And they have Victor Freakin' Kiriakis as a go-to resource. So, instead of Hope, Roman, Abe John, Shane, and/or Victor teaming up to explore what happened to Bo as he investigated a crime family worse than the Dimeras!, Hope soul-searched, decided to move on, and sent Bo a letter and some divorce papers to his last known address. Did the writers even YouTube clips of Kristian Alfonso playing Hope when she learned that Zack had died? That performance was heartbreakingly epic, and Kristian could have crushed it again had Bo been "killed off" in the soap sense, of course. Ugh. The writers monumentally missed the mark here, but I guess a little resolution is better than none at all. I guess.

WORST WASTE OF A STORYLINE

Laurisa: Nick and Theresa never became a couple They had one meeting that was full of promise. She even managed to use the word "poodle" as an insult. But then, nothing. Let's be honest, Nick's plan for revenge would have been even juicer if he had a fellow schemer by his side. (Not to mention we could have avoided Gabi's umpteenth turn into Ditzville.) And seriously, the Horton Bad Seed meets the Brady Black Sheep? Come on, there's good stuff there!

Tony: A Not So EJami Exit Seriously, writers? James Scott and Alison Sweeney leave around the same time, and that's the exit strategy you came up with!? That's like all four members of ABBA deciding to go on tour at the same time, but instead of the band reuniting to play together, they go in different directions when they could have just circled the globe together. So, now we have a "dead" E.J. Sami left for Hollywood. And a bunch of EJami fans are left wondering why there wasn't just one last scene of Eej in the back of that limo that took Sami and the kids to Tinsel Town or wishing that E.J. and Sami staged his death so they could run away together and live happily(-ish for them) ever after. Boo. Just boo.

WORST STORYLINE

Laurisa: Paige and J.J.'s Scooby-Doo Romance I am not at all advocating that the only way for kids to have fun is to drink. But I am saying that those who choose not to drink absolutely do not spend all of their time chastising others who do. Alas, Paige was the one-note fun police all stinking year. I have a hard time believing Paige would have any friends in real life, much less a boyfriend like J.J. who immediately got rid of all his real friends because Paige made the stank face at them.

And once the dynamic duo got together, they embarked on the fascinating storyline involving tracking down the cell phone picture taker -- (Move over, Salem Strangler! There's a new baddie in town!) -- a storyline so silly that even the characters decided to drop it and just forget about it. I don't know if the Eve/J.J. thing has legs, but right now, it's my only hope for saving the ber talented Casey Moss and breaking this vicious cycle of suck. So, let's go Jeve! Or anything else! At all! Something else! Please!

Tony: Dannifer: Parts 10,039 to Infinity (It Seems) Okay, even Travis knew when to take Old Yeller out back and pull the trigger. The writers? Not so much. Instead, this year the Dannifer Saga continued, making The NeverEnding Story look like a pamphlet.

For good measure, Dannifer got together and broke up more times than you can shake a stick at. They broke up for asinine reasons, reunited for even sillier ones, and then broke up again for reasons that would send Brady Black doing backflips back off the wagon to escape the absurdity of it all. Hell, sometimes they even gave each other breakup speeches when they weren't even together! But don't worry. Dannifer talked about their breakup. A lot. They hope to become friends again, someday. Oh, goodie.

In real life, we know how much fun it is to be around that type of couple, so I'm sure glad I could watch them on my favorite soap each and almost every day in lieu of other characters getting storylines and screentime. Good call, DAYS! Ultimately, if you like your veteran heroine acting like a self-righteous wishy-washy school girl and your leading(-ish) man looking confused, you probably enjoyed this storyline. So, congrats!

PARTING THOUGHTS Thanks for joining us as we celebrated the Eight Annual Alex North Memorial Awards! Please pick up your swag bags on the way out. They come complete with a cracked personalized Christmas ornament, chicory coffee, a CD of Eve's theme music, and a unisex version of Nicole's black and white zebra-ish print yet somehow feathery coat catastrophe, good for those cold winter days of roaming city parks. L'chaim, DAYS fans!

Happy New Year! Laurisa and Tony

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