Love actually

Sami, Abigail, and Nicole all got exactly what they deserved in the love department. Marlena went back to the least likely of admirers. And DAYS may have found just the way to make fans fall for Jennifer again. Find out more in this week's Two Scoops.

Ah, love. There are so many different sides to it -- the newness, the reconciling, and then, well.... Have you heard of the book He's Just Not That Into You? The sequel is in development. Working title: He's Not Into You At All, Never Was, and You're A Bit Of An Idiot For Thinking Otherwise. Abigail's writing it.

Look, I certainly get Abigail's motivations. She's a stunner with daddy issues looking to ditch the good-girl image. I've seen that movie.

But I never got it from the E.J. side of things. He's been pretty much the serial monogamist in Salem. His one previous attempt at an affair resulted in him proposing to the chick he had an affair with...during their affair. Nothing about him screams "casual hook-up for the heck of it."

So I have little idea who that dude was at the Horton Cabin or in the shower at the gym. (And gross -- now that I think about that one!) But I recognized the guy on top of that conference table.

One, he admitted that he cheated on the woman he loves more than his own life. (Thanks, Eej. I always knew that, but it felt really nice to hear you say it.) Two, he finally DiMera-ed up and fought Abigail's crazy with a little crazy of his own. Look Abs, if you want E.J. to see you as an equal, this is what it is.

And I enjoyed every bit of their combined lunacy together. I've wanted for weeks to see the Lady Mansi play unhinged Abigail. We're finally stepping toward that ledge. Let's do this.

If they play this right, this secret should rock all three families. Marlena should go after Abigail for messing with yet another one of her girl's fellas. Julie should step in to activate the Horton force field of protection. Lucas should be caught in the middle of his baby mama and his niece. Abigail should be shocked to learn that the "something else" between them was E.J. trying to cover up Nick's "murder." And, of course, Sami should deal with both E.J. and Abigail.

But at the end of the day, Sami and E.J. should make it through this. Not only have they forgiven each other for much worse, but we have yet to see them team up and scheme somebody else. Having the two of them not work their specific blend of terror against a common enemy is kind of like having Frank Sinatra and Billy Joel at your party and not suggesting that they shuffle over to the piano and sing a little something together.

The kicker is that we have that deliciously dastardly enemy right in front of us. Nick Fallon has more advantages than pretty much any villain in soap opera lore. Cerebral dominance? Check. Mental instability? Check! Unlimited resources? Check! Ability to come back from the dead? Check! Connections with the criminal network in Salem? Check! Mutual disrespect for Sami and E.J.? Check!

And as of right now, I don't know if I've ever seen a villain hold so many of the cards. I mean, the dude has pictures of the actual crime. And wouldn't you know? He just happened to hear Ciara tell him that Sami lost her earring down at the river too. Super.

I'm not quite sure what Nick's endgame is. I know he wants Gabi back and is willing to be a huge jerk to T (Grr...not cool, Nicky!) to do so. But I really think he's more hell-bent on revenge than anything else. Gabi is replaceable. His ego is clearly not. And that's where Sami and E.J. can really compete with him. They're just as fond of their respective egos too.

They should be. They learned from the best. Marlena and Stefano take pride to another level. That's why I was shocked when Marlena showed up at Stefano's house to ask for a favor.

And, oh, sweet shiny Christmas, I love the idea of Marlena being in Stefano's debt. For sure, he'll attach all the strings he can to this deal -- which is brilliant for future storylines.

And he'll be able to get pretty much whatever he wants because Marlena is in a bad place. She says that she's "protecting" her son. Excuse me for a second while I search for my BS card. I need to play it right now.

I almost fell off my couch when Marlena said that she wouldn't ask any questions that could incriminate Kristen (the person who drugged and raped her son) or Chyka (the person who supplied Kristen with the drugs). Are you kidding me, Mar?! Nicole is the bad guy is all of this? Really?

Also, what a major missed opportunity to use the show's history! Marlena condemning another woman for falling in love with a priest would be like Daniel criticizing Jordan for falling for a patient or Justin telling another dude to tone down the dimple usage.

But Marlena's desperate now that Eric has made the tour around Salem to tell the family that he was turning in his collar. By far, my favorite reaction was Theresa's slightly unimpressed, "Cool. It's your life. Do what you want."

Most of the rest was a full-on attack of Nicole, which really frosts my cookies. First, I know it came from a place of care, but it infuriated me that Marlena and Sami think that Eric is so simple-minded that Nicole could convince him to do whatever she wanted. Eric ain't Gabi, folks.

Second, while Nicole should have told Eric everything (we'll get there in a minute), Nicole fumbled the ball on the one-yard line! She got approximately zero credit from the Bad News Bradys for besting the entire Salem Police Department, tracking down a DiMera henchmen, drugging him, holding him at gunpoint, and retrieving evidence from him. Nope, it will just matter that she didn't turn over the evidence so that Eric could confirm the decision he'd already made.

That last sentence is a big sticking point for me. Maybe I'm giving Eric too much credit. (What can I say? I'm not immune to the hypnotic magical blue eyes either.) But he sat with that smarmy leprechaun for days and talked this thing out. I mean, really got in there and hashed out whether he wanted to be a priest and whether he wanted to be with Nicole. And call me crazy, but I believed Eric when he said that he was at peace with his decision.

I realize that thinking evidence might be out there and being handed evidence are two different things. But Eric doesn't strike me as one who believes that any human can interfere with God's plan. So, I may be in the minority, but I want Nicole to tell Eric about the evidence because I don't think it will make any difference at all. Well, that is as long as she tells him sooner rather than later. Sure, that's what I'm going with.

LOOSE ENDS Daniel and Jennifer reunited to as much fanfare as one would expect if the world's best restaurant launched a new dish of stale graham crackers. Sigh. It's not like I'm going to stop coming to the restaurant. But the waiter need not bring that sorry-looking dessert over to me. I shan't be ordering it.

However, I will say that I'm glad J.J. was the one who told Jennifer the truth. He's the best thing about this storyline (and has been for months) so I'm glad he got the big number and the end.

Aiden is a smart choice for Hope, mainly because he's the exact opposite of Bo -- right down to the slick hair and suits. But they really need to do something about the Bo situation. The ever-brilliant @Tony_S_Days suggested that the show may have a technical marriage loophole if Bo and Hope never remarried after Alamainia. But that doesn't mean that Hope shouldn't have a conversation with, say, Caroline and Victor before she starts making cookies with another fella.

For the record, telling Maggie to go to hell is step eight in the "10 Steps to Hitting Rock Bottom" plan. Brady's still got professional failure and regrettable relationship decision to go. In related news, Brady and Theresa are hanging out together a lot still. And surprisingly, I find them kind of fun together!

I have no idea why Adrienne brought up how Sonny and Will's marriage would affect Gabi other than the fact that Adrienne is one of those girls who claims that she "can't stand drama," when in reality, she brings the drama everywhere she goes.

Virtual high-five to Marlena for making Will realize that expecting Gabi to live with him for the next 17 years and two months was bananas.

Speaking of Gabi, where does she get off insisting to Will and Sonny that Nick is a part of "their" lives again? Leave Arianna with the boys and go fall on your face on your own time, princess.

Another hottie from Jordan's past showed up in Salem. I don't know why Jordan was so upset to see him. Any guy who can pull off a stonewashed denim jacket is probably a quality chap!

HOT Despite the fact that Nicole is in a very serious storyline right now, I love that the writers find ways to use Arianne Zucker's comedic chops here and there. Nicole's uncomfortable rambling when she walked in on Daniel and Jennifer was so very well done. NOT Does it make me a terrible person that I find nothing entertaining about Ciara? Is it a detriment to my character that I think it's ridiculous for an 8-year-old to be commenting on the financial status of an adult? Might it be inappropriate for me to think that her police officer parents would have taught her that "finders keepers" is indeed not a real thing? Would it be so bad if I were to point out that, considering her best friend is Theo, her whole "I lost my parent" shtick makes her look like an insensitive butthead?

I'm not saying she's abnormal. I just don't want to watch her any more. Either straighten her out or SORAS her so that bratty attitude is part of a fully realized character so that others have a chance dish it back at her.

LINE OF THE WEEK Nicole: "Thank you, God. Please don't smite me now." Who knows? Maybe the big fella is an Ericole fan!

RANDOM THOUGHTS I liked Jennifer's blush colored military jacket. I just wasn't sure why she sewed it to that figure skating costume.

Just what does Brady know about being in prison?

I spent most of the week marveling that they were able to get Arianne Zucker's short hair into that sleek looking up-do.

I like how non-priest Eric upgraded to the trendy black coat. The humble gray one was sooo "Father Eric."

I don't think Rafe knows what the phrase "going commando" actually means.

Can I just tell you that I really, really don't like hearing the words "When you're a mother" being directed at Abigail? Alas, something tells me that Maggie doesn't stock the Horton Cabin with condoms.

Hat tip to Nicole for the Argo reference.

I was surprised that Marlena bought Kate's reason for hiring Nick. Kate is the same woman who spent a decade torturing Sami for what Sami did to Austin and Lucas. Marlena can't have missed all of that.

Hey Abigail, have you met J.J.'s new boss Russ, Jordan's buddy Ben, or the recently-dumped-and-still-ever-adorable T?

Upon further inspection, it appears that Marlena's Blades of Glory meet Star Trek costume actually came with zip-off sleeves. Amazing.

The comparisons between E.J. and Nick need to stop. For starters, E.J. can't cross the street without the police questioning him. Yet Nick gets carried around town by a proud gaggle of Horton ladies who pre-fight his battles for him. Not all bad guys are the same, people.

I loved that Nicole was genuinely happy for both Daniel and Jennifer, and they likewise for her. Clearly the solution to making any character less annoying it so have them befriend Nicole.

That's it for now. Join us back next week for Eric and Nicole's second first date! I also hear it's a fact that a familiar face will be making his way back to Salem.

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