Gone with the Sweeps

Why, fiddledee dee! May Sweeps done ripped through Salem and left a big 'ole mess to clean up. Who was left standing, and what will become of our favorite Salemites? Frankly, you should give a damn, and read this week's Two Scoops to find out, ya'll!

You know, one of these days I'm actually going to be able to show off my formal wear. I spent all this money on a suit for another Salem wedding and, nope, no dice. By that I mean no wedding. Drats! And thank you, Marlena. I'll be forwarding you my credit card bill and expect reimbursement.

But I'm willing to cut just about anyone some slack after last week. DAYS was off the charts amazing! The show packed a month's worth of Sweeptastic showdowns and showstoppers into four little days. Not too shabby, dear writers.

In fact, I feel like this is the part of my column where special guest stars Wayne and Garth should show up to surprise everyone and we'd chant, "We're not worthy!" to the cast and crew of DAYS. I mean everyone did a fantastic job with the material last week. I couldn't be prouder to be a card-carrying member of the DAYS Fan Club.

Of course, no one in Salem really had a fantastic time last week. Well, except J.J. He got his new business venture funded by his unsuspecting mother. I guess Jennifer will realize she's been played when she spots J.J. on the cover of High Times, but I digress.

I'm really not sure who would claim the prize for "Worst Week Ever." Both Kristen and John's plans backfired. Both Marlena and Brady lost the loves of their lives. Nick finally faced being raped in prison. And Gabi was told her marriage was an escape so Nick could avoid his issues. Yep, the competition for sucky weeks was high.

Let's start with Kristen. Girlfriend's life could fall under the category of "too little, too late." This is actually a shame because she did have an Ebenezer Scrooge-sized epiphany and realized she really does love Brady. I even believed it. Unfortunately, Brady didn't.

I think we can all agree that Brady went into his relationship with Kristen with blinders on despite warnings from, well, everyone, but I still feel bad for the guy. He looked so happy while walking around the DiMera living room before Marlena had to ruin everything by showing him the picture of Kristen and Sy. I know, I know. It wasn't technically Marlena's fault. Kristen brought it on herself, yada, yada, yada. Anyway!

Brady was happy, and then he wasn't. This reveal gave Eric Martsolf a lot to work with, and he completely shined. I also enjoyed that Nicole was there for him. I'm not sure if this is foreshadowing for an Eric/Nicole/Brady/Kristen love quad, but right now I'm content with their friendship being remembered. Nicole was a rock star friend, and there's never anything wrong with Arianne Zucker getting more screen time. Ever.

Conversely, a possible love quad between said foursome makes me nervous. Having to pick sides between Kristen and Nicole would be like having to choose between chocolate and Scotch. Why can't I just have both? I don't know. But I'm not going to jump to conclusions just yet.

However, I am going to jump on the Marlena Fan Bus for a second. I was on her side when it came to John. I'm glad she didn't fall for his "sweetheart." I'm sure John and Marlena will eventually find their way back to one another as they always do, but I'm hoping she moves on for the time being. Her loved ones have enough going to keep her busy helping out, and, frankly, Mar Mar deserves better than the man she's been in love with -- to the detriment of other relationships in her life -- treating her like trash without a little, "Psych! My a-holeness was all a plot to bring down Kristen." More on that later.

Ultimately, John's plan backfired, sort of. Yes, Kristen was brought down, but so were John himself, Marlena, Brady, and Jennifer, who never got to wear her bridesmaid dress. Still, I'm not overly worried, especially about Kristen. She has a way of bouncing back stronger, and by "stronger," I mean more delusional and determined than ever. I have faith that she'll be able to win Brady back if she wants to. He's a glutton for punishment, after all. And it will be interesting to watch her crush anyone who stands in the way of her not moving on.

Yet while Kristen has decided not to move on, Nick and Gabi really don't have a choice. I think it would be pretty hard to bounce back from, "Well, I was raped in prison and used you to forget about my trauma. Oopsie."

Truth be told, I did see Nick being raped in prison coming, but, holy cow, did Blake Berris bring it and then some! There's no doubt in my mind someone's already engraving his name on an Emmy for next year. Cue Wayne and Garth because we need another round of "We're not worthy!" just for Blake.

I'm still on the fence about all of the on-screen action, though. The writers were careful to insert the appropriate buzz words to specify that Jensen was not gay -- he was attacking Nick to show his dominance and power. It was violent, and it utterly destroyed Nick. I admit it. I got misty-eyed because of Blake's performance, but I'll need to see Nick's road to recovery before we can officially mend fences. What he went through was horrible, and I'm not negating that he was the victim, but his actions since he's been sprung from the clink were also atrocious. You know what they say: two wrongs don't make a right (but two Wrights do make an airplane).

As for Gabi, well, what can I say? I've been hard on her because of her past misdeeds, but I think she's come close to paying her debt. Being told your love and marriage was a lie is pretty harsh. When she sobbed, "You swore you loved me," I felt for her. I did. And she did ask for the truth before the wedding, but I can also see where Nick wasn't ready to face his demons. Yep, it sucks to be both of them right now.

However, part of me is still annoyed with Gabi. She stated that she suspected Nick was playing dirty to keep Sami away from her, but she once again looked the other way. Before that, she said that Will and Sonny never did anything to hurt Nick. She's right, but she was talking out of both sides of her mouth. She basically green-lighted Nick to hurt them by not demanding answers from him. This head-buried-in-the- sand approach doesn't work, dear, Gabs. Let's pick up the pieces and make a fresh start, okay? You and Nick putting Will down as Arianna Grace's father is a great start!

So, all in all, the Sweeps boom was lowered last week! There were amazing juicy reveals and huge confrontations. Things are being set up for summer rather nicely. What will happen? I don't know, but I'm eager to find out, which is a real testament that DAYS did something extremely right during Sweeps. Go Team Days!

LOOSE ENDS: I seriously need to add a section to Two Scoops called "Things That Make You Go Ohh and Aww!" In it would be Sonny and all of his adorable cuteness; Lucas and Will scenes; as well as ones between Will, Sonny, and Baby Arianna, and Sami and Lucas. Oh, oh! And E.J. and Chad! They're hot and handy to have around in a crisis. Love them. Love them all!

Thumbs-up to Caroline's scenes with Sami! I've been on the receiving end of people hiding things to "protect me." It's not cool. At all. So kudos to Caroline for stating she can handle anything and expects to be kept in the loop.

I'll also give a thumbs-up to Marlena and Hope. Why not? I'm in a good mood. Thanks, Scotch. I like that they are watching out for one another. I'm also proud of Mar Mar for taking time out of her own tragedy to ask Hope how she felt about shooting Jensen. Way to be classy, Doc.

I know that Hope was trying to make Ciara feel better, but their conversation has me concerned. The little diva messed up royally. Yet it seemed that Hope was taking on too much of the blame herself and placating Ciara. Sure, I'm glad Ciara feels better, but it's not going to be so cute when she thinks she can get away with something like faking a stalker, going along with getting her bestie kidnapped, and blowing up the town square because daddy wasn't there and mommy had to work. Just saying.

Yep, Johnny is a rock star. I want to walk him around Salem so he can solve everyone's problems. He'll point at Roman and say, "Lonely." He'll give the hospital staff advice on how to heal Rafe. And he'll probably just look at J.J. and state, "Drug dealer."

And Johnny also pointed out that Nicole has feelings for Eric. This, combined with Nicole's reaction to Eric asking her about said feelings, had Eric's head spinning. Ah, what's a hunky priest to do?

I'm disappointed in J.J. He really should have tried to milk Jen for a cargo van, too. You know, because he'll need something to drive back and forth to school in with all of his books. By that, you can read, "ship his pot and make deliveries." In any event, Jen is being a little dense, and J.J. is, too. Doesn't the boy know it's risky to start a business in this economy?

HOT Scha-wing! I need Wayne and Garth yet again to chant, "We're not worthy!" If DAYS were to do a spinoff of just Kristen and Marlena fighting each other, every day I'd watch. Heck, I'd paint the show's logo on the side of my car and ride around town to promote it. Eileen Davidson and Deidre Hall simply rock together. More, please!

NOT Seriously, John. No, I mean, seriously!? You thought you could flash a grin, call Marlena "sweetheart," and all would be forgiven? Right. And Rafe's my favorite character ever. I'm totally on Team Marlena right now. She has every right to kick his douchey butt to the curb. John's heart might have been in the right place, but nothing else was. Like Kristen, John made his own bed, so now he has to lie in it -- alone. I advise him to extend Roman an olive branch. He may need tips on what it's like to be single and miserable for a while.

LINE OF THE WEEK Chad (to E.J., regarding Kristen's canceled nuptials): "Well, at least I won't get blamed for ruining this wedding, too."

RANDOM THOUGHTS Wow! Victor called Nicole the lesser of two evils. Uh, congratulations, Nikki?

Since when does one have to pay for books to attend public school? I'm out of the high school loop, so is this a real thing? Or perhaps he's attending private school. I dunno.

I'm glad to see Hope got to clean up and change before interrogating Kristen!

Sami, girl, save your breath. Big Red thinks Nick walks on water - kidnapping, murder, and blackmail be dammed!

I have a theory about J.J.'s friend Rory. I'll share it soon.

Did Kristen and Brady really need to set up a dozen chairs for the wedding? Maybe she was expecting the Banks quadruplets.

Hey, Eileen Davidson and Blake Berris -- please prepare Emmy victory speeches for next year. Yep, I'm that confident.

I'm crossing my fingers that Jennifer won't turn her back on Kristen once she learns the truth. I enjoy their friendship. And after all, Jennifer is unknowingly funding Salem's newest drug dealer. That's illegal. So, see, they will continue to have something more to bond over.

Sami reported Rafe is stable. There's a first time for everything, I guess.

The photo icons on characters' cell phones continue to crack me up! I want to text all my friends a glamour shot of me to use when I call.

Why I love Kristen Example 5,650: In the middle of an emotional and mental meltdown, after losing the love of her life, fighting with two of her biggest foes, and finding herself on the floor again, she still managed to ask Hope -- who came to arrest her -- "So, I don't suppose you'd be willing to call Brady for me..." Genius!

PARTING THOUGHTS So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's your random Two Scoops for the week of June 3! I'm off to invoice Marlena, but Laurisa will be back next week to cover the continuing fallout of May Sweeps. And "That's a fact!"

As always, thanks for reading! Tony

Need more Two Scoops? Head over to read blogs by Laurisa or Tony for more ranting, raving, and all-out randomness

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