Love you forever

A tragic event brings new life to Salem, lets this Scooper officially make up with a Hernandez, and gives us one of the most il-Lumi-nating moments in DAYS history. You don't want to be lame and miss it, so race over to read this week's Two Scoops.

I used to work with a gal that did not understand the concept of completing her job. For example, when we'd ask her to tell us how many people had purchased a certain product she'd respond with, "I sent an email to Ken to look that up." She really thought that action was sufficient to cross her task off her to-do list. (I had this theory that she'd go home each night and set out all of the ingredients for lasagna on the counter and then announce to her family that dinner was done!)

I think that she may have transferred to my company from the Salem Police Department.

Last week, a murderer, so effing bonkers that Mr. "I lie to a priest everyday" Vargas claimed the guy should be in a cage, was released on a technicality. (I guess "life without parole" means something totally different in Salem.) Then, when they realized their error, they snail-mailed a letter to Hope Brady to let her know. So that should totally be enough on their part. I mean, we all watched Jack Bauer hang out around a mailbox to get his critical information.

But in this case, I'm actually willing to cut the Salem PD a break. Thomas Jensen (yup, paused my DVD three times to read the first name on Hope's paper!) is my new hero. For without him, we would not have gotten another week without Rafe such an absolutely splendid week in Salem!

Let's start with this: Gabi had her baby, y'all! Welcome to the party, Arianna Grace (hopefully) Horton! You're insanely adorable, possibly only upstaged by your all-shades-of fabulous great grandmas, Kate and Marlena, fawning all over you. And your entry into this mad world was a true miracle, for you, tiny lady, made me like your mother!

Yup, bring it in for a group hug, Gabi fans! All it took was a little childbirth for her to admit that she'd hate her sorry self, too, for what she did to Chad and Melanie! See, Gabs? We're not so different, you and I! I still feel like everyone should know what you did, since Chad was so publicly ridiculed for speaking out at your wedding. But this is a start!

All joking aside, I can't overstate enough how much I loved Gabi and Sonny in those delivery scenes. Camila Banus and Freddie Smith were positively charming together! I started texting back and forth with @Tony_S_Days, brainstorming ideas for how Freddie could be recast as another character (Alex Kiriakis?) so that he could play opposite Camilla more.

And it wasn't just the acting. The writing was sublime. In addition to the aforementioned butthead confession, there were phenomenal subtle touches like Sonny using his flashlight app to see if the baby was crowning. LOL! Kids these days!

It was like Camilla and Freddie knew that they needed to up the comic relief because across the island, we were watching Blake Berris and Chandler Massey positively slay it in the drama department. (A righteous hat-tip to Derek Magyar as Jensen. You, sir, are officially not invited to any of my nightmares, ever.) Jensen delivered a chilling monologue about his time with Nick in prison. And without making any eye contact, Nick and Will realized that in light of the unfortunate few fundamentally evil people in this world, if we're one of the lucky ones to have an actual choice to forgive and love, of course, we should always opt for love.

And then it happened. Will literally threw himself between Nick and a gun.

Will was shot for his efforts. But it was a small price to pay for the bounty of amazing scenes that we got from the DAYS cast -- if I may be so selfish as to say so myself. From Sami confronting Nick to Sonny's emotional plea at Will's bedside, the show was spectacular. We've watched this legacy kid grow into a full-blown hero, and he deserved all of the emotional visits TPTB (The Powers That Be) could throw at him.

The only one who didn't visit Will, or even stay at the hospital, was Nick. It should be noted that once he was free, Nick didn't run out after his pregnant wife. Nick stayed behind in the cabin, at Will's side, urging Will to live. Sometimes getting a stiff whiff of your own jackassery will change a person. I'm hoping that's what happened with Nick.

At the very least, it changed Vargas. I haven't been his biggest fan, but when Vargas saw Nick's face completely void of everything but raw pain and bewildered defeat, I started to realize two things. One, it's ridiculous that Blake Berris doesn't have an Emmy. Two, perhaps Vargas wasn't the vile thing I thought he was. Perhaps he's just a little on the dumb side (most criminals are) and masks his lack of intelligence with aggression. And maybe that's why, with a few clumsily formed sentences, Vargas got a lot more interesting.

Of course, those words were, "Hey, listen. Jensen's gone now. He's not gonna be able to touch you anymore. What he did to you before -- well, that's in the past, okay? You should just leave it there. Look, it doesn't make you any less of a man." He was trying to comfort Nick. I give Vargas credit for that. However, good gravy, this storyline direction makes me nervous.

They haven't come right out and said the words "Nick was raped in prison," but we've been dancing around this for weeks. If the show is going to try to explain Nick's homophobia with the revelation that Nick was raped in prison, I must caution -- please tread lightly, dear DAYS. That could easily turn colossally irresponsible.

Give Nick intimacy problems? Absolutely. Have Nick hate rapists? You bet! But to make the correlation that he hates gay men because another man raped him is ludicrous. Not all gay men are rapists. And not all rape victims are straight men. Most importantly, rape isn't at all about sex. (Neither is being gay, but that's a different rant for a different time.) Rape is about power and abuse. And unlike other rapists in the show's past, DAYS established that Jensen was a power-hungry monster who committed the crime because he was just plain ol' wicked.

On the bright side for DAYS, whatever salvation they decide to give to Nick will be played out by Blake Berris and Chandler Massey, which is kind of the equivalent of having Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant join your pick-up basketball game. So, with my warning out there, I'll step back and let whole Jensen thing play out. For now.

Besides, without Jensen, we also never would have gotten that Ejami scene. I don't mean the love scene. I mean the scene where neither of them backed down, and they just screamed it out because both Sami and E.J. were right. The phone call "evidence" against E.J. meant absolutely nothing. But, as Sami rightly pointed out, that didn't matter to Hope.

Either way, they ended up in a fight-turned-kiss, which was tremendous because that is one of the things that this couple does best. I know, that sounds weird on the surface. I don't recommend that tactic for many couples. But there are a precious few that can pull it off. OLTL Todd and Ta fans know what I'm talking about. Rock on, kids.

LOOSE ENDS Hope has every right to personally hate Stefano. But when she's in a professional capacity, she needs to be objective. Otherwise, she looks unintelligent, which is a shame because Hope is a strong, smart female character. That humble pie E.J. threw in her fancy face was kinda deserved. Sorry, Hope!

In semi-related news, I liked Vargas working as Hope's informant. I also couldn't help but notice that Vargas went out of his way to make sure that Hope wasn't blaming herself. Hmmm.... (Hey, I don't write this stuff, I just comment on it.)

I adore E.J. and Justin working together more so for the fact that Justin now has inside info on E.J. That can be good or bad. But either way, the two months until the next DiMera board meeting will be fun!

Maybe it's all of the recent footage of first responders "doing their jobs" in Oklahoma and Boston, but J.J.'s comment about Daniel not being a hero because he was just "doing his job" really rubbed me the wrong way. Also rubbing me the wrong way -- J.J. breaking Parker's train set. I get that J.J. is hurting. But to break a two-year-old's toy was low. I hope Abigail's awesome spills over onto him soon.

If this is how Kristen and John treat someone they love, they can feel free to hate me forever. I just hope that Kristen doesn't "love" Brady as much as she thinks she does. I wish she'd ditch her plot and marry him. I know this was all supposed to play out as Kristen being the villain, but John and Marlena are in a situation completely of their own making right now, and I find myself not cheering for John to win. I knew it was coming, but I got little joy out of seeing Marlena discover the picture. Good cliffhanger, though!

However, if Brady is about to end up single, he may have the inside track on someone down on her luck in the love department. As Nicole can now attest, the only thing worse than being in a love triangle with your father is being in a love triangle with your Father.

As if I needed more proof as to why Chad and Abigail should make another go of it, he presented her with a customized motorcycle helmet and tickets to an amusement park. Cameron gave her a fun police scolding about the dangers of riding a motorcycle. Let's see, who would be more fun to date? Side note -- the fact that I still want Abigail with Chad despite his absurd new hairstyle should count for something. A lot, actually.

HOT I completely acknowledge that the scene was made possible by an abundance of Wilson cuteness. But for me, watching Lucas and Sami at the door, hearing how crazy loved their son is, brought tears to my eyes. For all of their sins, Lucas and Sami have always loved Will to pieces. And I've always loved that about Lumi. Following that moment up with the confession that Will is so much better than either of his parents was Lumi at their most charming and self-deprecating best. It was utter perfection and a treat for long-time Lucas and Sami fans.

NOT This Kate/Rafe ridiculatta has got to end. He gave her back her soul? Srsly? The fabulous Kate Roberts has rarely needed any man to give her anything, much less validation on the spiritual level. We get it, writers. Rafe can walk on water and heal the sick. He's probably even able to deliver presents to all of the boys and girls of the world in one night. And Lauren Koslow was her standard gold-star self in that scene. But by Kate's own admission, they never really talked that much. So, how exactly did he save her soul? Never mind. I don't want to know.

LINE OF THE WEEK Kristen: "I want to celebrate with my friend. Ha! I want to celebrate that I have a friend."

RANDOM THOUGHTS: Of course the DiMeras have Phoenix stationery.

I refuse to believe that Kristen didn't want a bachelorette party.

Jennifer was very nice to her kid that just got expelled for selling drugs. If I was in his shoes, there'd be no, "Hi honey, how was your run?" from my mom.

I loved Sami's curly hair.

It turns out that brownies are the secret to Abigial's rockin' arms. Finally! A diet plan I can get behind!

Not that I was ever that worried, but as soon as Dr. Dan was on Will's case, I knew Will would be just fine. Hate his bedroom antics all you want, but Daniel's patients have an amazing survival rate for Salem. "That sweet, sweet man." Et tu, Maxine?

I dug seeing E.J. stick up for Kristen. But there was a brief second when I hoped that E.J. had to talk to John about joining in the DiMera board antics to oust Stefano.

Ciara is a terrible liar. But 'ems the breaks when you keep a kid from her Panda!

Justin might just be my favorite dad in Salem right now. He also might be my favorite person for properly telling Kate that Detective Hernandez just might have some other criminals that would wish him dead.

Dear coffee girl who offered to step up and ride roller coasters with Chad, I'm not mad at you one bit. Get it, sister. Love, Laurisa And now I'm off to, well, frankly, get out of Tony's way for next week's Kristen extravaganza. If he can intercept Marlena in time, my money's totally on him.

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