The bitch is back!

Not only did Sami finally make her way back to Salem this past week, but the scheming, vengeful Kate that we all know and love to hate is back in business. Watch out, Salem!

Days was a blast last week! Ok, sorry, I felt a little left out of all the explosion pun fun Laurisa got to have in her last article. But, seriously folks, it was another great week for soap watchers! If what we saw was any indicator of how entertaining "March Sweeps" will be, we're in for an explosively fun time. Ok, honestly, last pun.

Yet, last week's greatness comes with advice for a certain redheaded diva-in-training. Melanie needs to start jotting some notes. Whoops, she doesn't need to jot, she has "photographic memory." Point being, this junior diva is about to learn from the masters if she pays attention. Not only did Sami finally make her way back to town, but the scheming, vengeful Kate Roberts we all know and love to hate is back in business. In other words, watch out Salem!

Oh, and did I mention she's back!? Ok, I'll say it again - Sami's back! Sure, "technically" Alison Sweeney wasn't off our screens that much during her maternity leave, but, all I have to say is, welcome back - we missed you! Seeing Sami walk into the DiMera Mansion was a breath of fresh air. It was great to see Sami interact with the "old gang" again. Heck, even if all those interactions weren't so pleasant, they were still fun to watch kind of like the annual fight between relatives during Thanksgiving Dinner - it's not always nice, but it's tradition (thanks to Laurisa for that analogy). So, now that she's returned, with a new red cap in tow, let's see what Sami's been up to ...

Sami and Nicole ... Sami didn't even make it into the door before these two started going rounds! Sometimes the childish levels they sink to during a fight annoys me, yet Ali and Ari play off each other so well that it's always entertaining in the long run. As comedic sparring partners, they simply have great chemistry! They both possess that unique knack of being able to spew the most hateful comments to each other, yet make them amusing at the same time. Fun, fun!

An aspect that did make their latest rounds refreshing is that Sami and Nicole weren't simply fighting because of jealousy or outdated issues. They both have their own secrets to keep. Yet, there's a twist, Nicole knows Sami's secret! And, much like Kate subtly waved undisclosed info in front of Chloe's face to see if she'd flinch, Nicole did the same to Sami. Nope, Sami has no clue Nicole knows about Grace! My anticipation level is high about all of this - when the truth comes out I have a feeling Sami's volcanic temper is going to erupt like we've never seen it before!

Sami and E.J. ... Say what you will about their characters, but Ali and James also have great chemistry. They're the type of duo who really doesn't have to say anything, yet can convey a boat load of emotions. Their scenes definitely started and ended in the type of awkward uneasiness one gets upon seeing an ex one's still a little hot for. It's exciting, yet you don't exactly know what to do. Hug? Handshake? Friendly nod? It can get confusing.

Yet, I suspect they're a long way from any type of reconciliation. E.J.'s pretty busy beating Nicole with his caveman club and Sami, well, she has a tiny secret to keep covered up (not to mention a hunky FBI agent hot on her heels). We certainly know how Sami feels about his relationship with Nicole, but I wonder how Junior will react to Sami possibly having a new man in her life. Interesting ...

But, aside from residual gooey feelings for each other and aside from the tender reunion E.J. provided between Sami and Johnny, they did their share of fighting. Mostly over, you guessed it, Nicole. In all fairness, it's was mostly over Sami's attitude regarding Nicole, but one can't really blame her for those ill feelings. And one really can't blame E.J. for sticking up for his fianc. Touch. However, it is interesting how E.J. seems a little more forgiving of Sami's shortcomings than he is to Nicole's. Then again, Sami doesn't really let him get away with scolding her like a child like Nicole does. Yet, all in all, he seems more patient and simply "into" Sami despite his professions of love for Nicole. Again, interesting ...

Sami and Lucas ... and Will! ... I'll admit, I've never been a big "Lumi" fan, but I do love Sami and Lucas together as best, but bickering buddies. Actually, they crack me up! They can pretty much be as nasty as they want to each other, but still somehow express a mutual respect. It's odd and I'm not sure I explained that well. Moving on ...

Sami wanted all the dirt on Lucas's condition, but he wanted the dirt on the baby. In a somewhat interesting move, Sami told him the baby was stillborn. A lie by any other name is still a lie, but I'm almost glad she told that one to Lucas. Mostly, it gets him off the hook if anyone finds out and, let's face it, the poor guy doesn't need any more trouble in his life at the moment. But, I doubt Sami's intentions were that noble, I think she was simply covering her own tracks. Well played nonetheless.

Not as good of a play, they argued about his drinking again. The cause of his drinking. Ugh, I'm so sick of "booze blame." I saw red when Sami blamed Chloe then Lucas blamed Sami for HIS disease ... a disease which no one can force on someone else. And, as Laurisa said, "Dude, that crap was sooo 1995. Get over it!." Perfectly put, partner!

Ok, quick confession ... I hate to admit it, but I did chuckle when Sami called Chloe "Ghoul Girl." Yet, I'm more interested to hear what Sami calls her once she finds out about the affair. Between Kate and Sami, something tells me Chloe is going to be begging for mercy. Right, back on track ...

Ironically, while Sami and Lucas argued about water that's long since been under the bridge, Will showed up! Yes, Will! He's a few years older and, hopefully, wiser. Time will tell, but there are a lot of things that need some explaining ... Is he past teenaged angst? Did he leave the chip on his shoulder towards Sami in Europe? Was his trip spur of the moment to see Lucas or was he already headed home? And, how the heck did he get to Salem so quickly? Did he ride on the magical jet that E.J. used to get from Rome to Salem in under twenty-five minutes? Was on her on Rex and Cassie's spaceship? Or, has he been there all along under the radar? Not sure. Baby Steps (Rafe)

You know, the guy is kind of a stammering goofball at times, but I like him. Besides, if there's one thing all of my girlfriends have taught me it's that a handsome guy plus a baby equals off the charts cuteness. Yep, he and Grace were cute. Awe! I thought it was sweet that he went to see her. So, yes, he might be a goofball, but at least he's a kind one.

While playing peek-a-boo, Mr. FBI also had an interesting chat with Sister Theresa and she thinks he's sweet on Sami! The only thing that really surprises me about a Rafe/Sami romance is that it didn't happen sooner. But, I'm glad it didn't. It was too much of a clich at the time.

Most importantly, I really need to see them interact post-safe house before I can make a call on them as a legit couple. Until now I think they've had a bit of a whirlwind "vacation romance" - the kind you have when you're away from your normal life and everything is bright and sunny. Well, I guess things weren't really bright and sunny for them, but they really didn't have much to do besides keep each other company. Yet, now they're back in the real world and they both have a lot to find out about each other. Among other things, it will be interesting to see how Rafe reacts to people such as Lucas and E.J. He hasn't had to share Sami's attention yet, so I'm wondering what effect that will have on him. I also wonder what he'll think of Sami's past which reads like the tabloids. Hmm ...

The Adventures of Captain Caveman & Needy Nicole (E.J. & Nicole)

I need to divide and conquer this section. Part One: acting! James and Ari were amazing all week! Seriously, they're talented. Because, if they weren't so talented, I would've hit the fast forward button as we've seen their characters have similar fights before ... many times before. Yet, somehow, James and Ari manage to keep it fresh. Kudos for that!

Part Two: "Ecole." Simply put, they're both a mess. E.J. is more of a hypocrite than I initially thought. Why you ask? He basically forbid Nicole to be friends with her ex, Brady, yet he doesn't seem to get why she's so upset that Sami's still in his life. Sure, they share a kid, whoops two kids, but, let's be honest, E.J. likes having Sami around whether he wants to admit it or not. A third party like Caroline could always shuttle Johnny back and forth, so I think Nicole does have a semi-legit argument where Sami's presence is concerned.

And, while on E.J.'s case, his crazy possessive/caveman side really, um, shined last week. He told Nicole that his business is his business, stay out of it! Ouch! I thought Nicole was a desperate glutton for punishment before, but now I think she's just a total masochist. Again, these two are a Lifetime movie waiting to happen.

Yet, I have a hard time having too much sympathy for Nicole. Aside from her recent misdeeds, she goes right in for the kill when battling E.J. When tears don't work, she plays the "I'll take the baby and run" card. That's not cool. In fact, that usually backfires as it only enrages E.J. more. She needs some new material. Scratch that - their entire "relationship" needs some new material.

Fuel Duel (Team Titan vs. Team DiMera)

The ball bounced back and forth between the two tycoon teams last week. In the final play of the third quarter, it ended up back in the Kiriakis' hands. Sort of ...

On Monday Philip blackmailed Nicole into convincing E.J. to give up the rights to the fuel project. The rights which E.J. had just gotten from Melanie (kudos to James and Molly for those intense scenes). Philip thinks he knows Nicole's secret ... she's sleeping with Brady. In actuality, the dude's clueless. Yet, Nicole hesitantly agreed to help. Then, for days, she played E.J. like a fiddle by convincing him she was afraid of Victor's wraith. Shocker, he yelled at her to stay out of his business. But, by the end of the week, E.J. ripped up the formula and she promptly delivered the pieces to Philip. Hmm ...

That wasn't exactly what I was hoping for when I dreamt of Nicole getting involved, but it's working for me. Mostly, I like the idea of a "mega storyline." The show seems more interesting lately since it's overlapping so many plots. Wow ... it almost seems like I'm complimenting Higley. I need to sit down.

Ok, I'm better now. In other Corporate Battle news, Victor and Brady both berated Philip on how he's handling, or not handling, the project. Philip stood his ground, yet Team Kiriakis needs to pull it together. Actually, both sides do. There's more internal arguing then battles between the businesses. Ironically, the biggest winner is Melanie. Sure, she might be a little nervous these days, but she's been the only one to profit from the fuel project so far. How do you like those apples, tyrant tycoons!?

Knock, Knock (Stephanie, Philip & Mel)

Like Lucas, Melanie got an explosive slap to the face when Ms. Steph came a knocking! Surprisingly, I actually felt a little bad for Mel and was glad she fought back. I think that slap should've been directed towards Philip and Mel was merely an easy target. Not cool, Steph, but I'll let it slide because at least you're not dating your uncle anymore.

Then again, Mel is far from blameless. She does like to stir the pot a bit ... um ... a lot. But, she did an interesting thing mid-week - she apologized to Stephanie! Say what!? I thought that was cool and added a lot more depth to Mel's character. I actually think her altercation with E.J. shook her up a bit and she was trying to reach out. Not sure if Steph was the right person, per se, but it's a start. However, if you still hate Mel, make sure to check out Laurisa's latest blog, it's a convincing read.

As for Philip and Stephanie the couple ... well, they played a few more rounds of relationship roulette last week. Same fight, different week, yet somehow still interesting. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I like them. More please!

Boom Boom in the Zoom Zoom Room (Lucas, Chloe, Dr. Dan, & Kate)

Lucas go bang-bang! I was surprised he actually got up after that blast, but glad he did. The ironic thing is he stumbled into Dr. Dan's apartment and ended up on the floor. I really hope it's been properly Cloroxed since Dr. Dude and Chloe's last romp. Ewe.

The important thing, Lucas is fine. Yet, there's a snag - he doesn't remember anything after his first Bloody Mary. Usually trauma breeds amnesia in Soapland, but I actually buy it this time. I think many of us have "not remembered" things after a night, or in Lucas's case a morning, of indulgence.

Yet, the awkward part to his memory loss is the entire "Shawn D. Factor" - everyone knows a secret that will destroy him but him. Lucas is the new Shawn D. in this scenario. Maggie knows. Kate knows. Chloe knows. Dr. Dan knows. Soon, I'm sure Sami and Victor will find out and perhaps even Will. That leaves me to wonder, who will be the one to tell him once he's out of his "fragile" state? And, will they tell him before he marches down the isle with his not-so-blushing bootylicious bride-to-be?

One things for sure, my guess is that it won't be Chloe. She's in a little land I like to call denial and has chosen to return to his side now that she has God on speed dial. Her new spiritual kick is still a little puzzling. However, I'm placing a bet now that she starts going door to door to sell religion. After all, it was fate that caused the explosion ... and because of that she knew she had to choose Lucas. Ok, sure. A similar thing happened to me once. I saw an apple tree out the window of a diner once and knew I had to forgo the cherry pie and eat apple. Yep, I know how divine interaction works. Ugh.

Her reasoning is not the best and I suspect it's going to come back to bite her because, let's face it, she's SO not over Dr. Dan. Had they been at his place saying goodbye I'm sure they would've ended up on the above mentioned floor by the end of the conversation. In fact, and this is hard to swallow, but this might be one time I agree with Dr. Dan - he knows she's doing the wrong thing by vowing to stay so faithfully at Lucas's side. Fact check - that didn't work so well the first time around, Chloe. Sure, Dr. Dan seemed to have taken a sip from E.J.'s possessive cocktail and made his own vow, not to let her go, yet one thing makes me happy about all this - Kate knows!

I'll discuss the Kate and Chloe scenes in a second, but for starters can I just say I can't wait to see Kate confront Dr. Dan. THAT should be amusing! He's really only seen her good side (read while he was sleeping with her) and then she got sick. Nope, he hasn't met the "real" Kate Roberts yet and that is one encounter I don't want to miss. Dr. Dan's SO gonna get it! Again, I can't wait!

Reunited And It Feels ... Ok (Bo & Hope)

Although I'm glad Bo and Hope patched things up, I got whiplash from the pace of their reunion! I also felt a little jilted that this storyline didn't get more screen time. Granted, I didn't really want to see Bo and Hope have more awkward fights, but I was hoping that she would at least get some heart to heart time with Doug, Julie, Maggie or even Chelsea. And, I wouldn't have mind seeing Bo chat with Caroline or, perhaps, Victor. That didn't happen. Not so much.

What we did get was a quick turn around thanks to Bo barking back at Hope's decision. I still understand Hope's anger. I still think her choice to walk out was harsh. I still think Bo was a bonehead for not telling her the truth in the first place. Yet, I did think it was awesome that he stuck up for himself and made her open her eyes. All in all, peace has been restored to "Bope Land" ... or was it?

Bo's newest vision is of Hope in bed with someone. Somehow, I'm guessing that someone isn't Bo or else he wouldn't have looked so shocked! Patrick Lockhart is in jail, so I think it's safe to cross his name off the list. As long as Hope doesn't end up in the hospital, I think Dr. Dan's name can be nixed as well. So that still leaves me wondering - who is going to hit the sheets with Fancy Face?

Hot & Not

Hot: Wow, Lauren Koslow was so deliciously vindictive during the Kate/Chloe scenes. I don't think Chloe even knew she was being ripped to shreds! But, fear not, she'll know soon enough as Kate is out for revenge. I haven't seen her that ticked off in quite some time and I loved it! It didn't help that Chloe boldly lied to Kate's face as to why she was at Dr. Dan's apartment. Tisk, tisk, Ms. Lane. Never mess with Mama Roberts. However, the icing on the cake? It looks like Kate might recruit Victor into "Operation: Crush Chloe!" Yes, there are soap gods after all!

Not: A dishonorable mention needs to go to "Booze Blame." That still stinks and is thoroughly annoying. Yet, the "Not" this week has to be ... drum roll please ... Sami's off-screen talk with Marlena! I mean, seriously, we didn't even get a one-sided conversation in which Sami gets an update on John's condition or some advice from her mom? Not even one tearful, "I wish I could've seen you before you left" sob-fest. Nope, nothing. Boo! No, double boo!

Line of the Week:

"Nope. Sami's back. She's here to stay." Sami responding to Nicole's remark that she didn't think she'd return to Salem.

Ironic Statement of the Week :

"I just was going to hold her! I'm not going to steal her Nicole!" Sami's response to Nicole's wacky reaction to her wanting to hold Sydney.

Randomness ...

I'd like to wish a big Two Scoops welcome to Dylan Michael Patton! I'm curious to see his take on Will. Days' last recast, one Mr. Eric Martsolf, has been pretty dang impressive so far, so I have faith in the casting department ... don't let me down guys.

A friendly reminder to the writers just in case they were testing any chemistry waters, please remember Brady and Stephanie are related ... they're related by blood. Same genes - no dating? Got it?

Cranky Victor still gives me the giggles, but he needs to reel in the tough love a bit. He also needs to reel in the "men should have power over women talk." I guess all the men in Salem have drank E.J.'s alpha male cocktail.

Philip lounging with Lucas in the hospital bed was pretty funny. I dig it when the Robert's boys get some quality bonding time. Besides, Lucas is going to need all the support he can get very soon.

Speaking of support, Lucas told Kate to mind her own business. Oh, hindsight is going to be pretty bitter tasting this time, Lucas. You have no idea your mamas actually meddling for the greater good this time.

Umm, question RE: the explosion ... how the heck didn't anyone else hear that!? I guess Specter Steve was at the hospital visiting Phantom Kayla, but aren't there other neighbors around? Just wondering.

Parting Thoughts ...

So friends and Days fans, that's "Two Scoops" for the week of March 2nd! Laurisa will be back next Monday to cover March Sweeps, Week One! She'll also get all the dirt on the new Will ... will he be new and improved or just new? Inquiring minds want to know! In the mean time, make sure to cast your Dankie votes as the polls close Sunday, March 8th ... which is also when Daylight Savings Time begins! So turn your clocks ahead and hand your votes back, "That's a fact."

What are your thoughts on ? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- so drop your comments in the Comments section below, tweet about it on Twitter, share it on Facebook, or chat about it on our Message Boards.