The mamas and the papa

Caroline's in the slammer, which is giving Peggy McCay a chance to really shine as an actress.

If there's such a thing as an anti-Mother's Day, it hit Days last week! All of Salem's matriarchs, and soon to be matriarchs, were not fairing too well it seemed. Caroline's in the slammer, Kate's life once again hangs in the balance, and Sami and Nicole are expecting bouncing baby DiMeras! Yep, it was a rough one for the mamas last week, but the childless gals didn't fair much better. Mel got dumped on and Chloe and Morgan both dumped Philip! Only Kayla and Lexie seemed to get through things unscathed, kinda, yet, one thing is for sure, it doesn't seem like things are going to get any better anytime soon for the ladies of Salem! Let's discuss!

Murdering Mama? (Caroline & the Brady Bunch)

Trent is dead and the big questions last week wasn't exactly, "Whodunit," it was, "Does anyone actually believe Caroline did!?" I mean, really, the woman's in jail facing murder charges and, while explaining the threats she made to Trent, she actually began a sentence by saying, "I wasn't rude or anything ..." How freaking cute was that!? Nope, she really doesn't sound like a hardened criminal to me therefore I concur with the lovely Laurisa - Caroline SO didn't do it!

That leaves us back at square one, "Who did?" My better Scooping half made an excellent list of the suspects and the suspicious in the last Two Scoops column, but I'll wager my bet now - it was Creepy Claude, in the graveyard with the dagger. That's my official guess. It's a safe out as it doesn't dirty the hands of Salem's main citizens, it will tie up this storyline in a convenient, yet semi-predictable, bow in the end and it will still leave tons of fallout for everyone to deal with. Yep, that's my guess.

Now, whereas it seems fairly obvious that Mama B didn't do it, it's pretty interesting having her in jail facing the charges. To start with, it's giving Peggy McCay a chance to really shine as an actress, I mean, wow, she's been amazing! More of that please! The way she basically put everyone in their places, including Bo and Victor, was priceless. She might not be a murderess, but she can sure strike the fear of God with one of her stern looks! Again, more please!

Second, it's just good drama - Bo had to arrest his own mother then Roman had to lock her up! Ok, I kinda agree with Mayor Slim on one thing ... isn't there a little, tiny bit of a conflict of interest thingy going on here? Sure, but, again, it's entertaining. I will also give Roman props because if I had to lock my own mother up I'd be a blubbering idiot! Actually, I could never do it! So really, Ro, go on with your bad self, but just don't expect too many gifts come the holidays.

Third and finally, it's a nice launching pad for a Caroline and Victor romance, part two. Now that it's been a respectable amount of time since Shawn Sr. has passed, I'd like to see things re-develop between these two. It would create tons of drama, I mean TONS of drama, and, more importantly, thrust these to vets into the limelight. Seeing them more often, more please!

Medical Drama Mama (Kate)

I have to agree with Laurisa yet again - this storyline scares me a little. If Days was a shown known for ultra realistic storylines done respectively I wouldn't worry, but ... John's memories were erased and put on a disk, E.J. is eleven and Chelsea was stillborn ... need I go on? My advice, tread lightly writers!

With that said, I don't mind this storyline for the most part ... yet. The biggest reason for that? It's bringing the Roberts Clan together in a nondestructive way ... Kate's not meddling in her children's lives, her kids aren't disowning her and no one is making ridiculous schemes. It's a potentially powerful storyline that should redefine how this family deals with one another. I hope.

Of course with a little praise comes a little criticism. There are two things I'd like to nitpick about. One, not all of Kate's spawns have been brought into the picture - where the heck are Rex and Cassie and why haven't they at least been mentioned!? For various reasons, including they arrived in a flying saucer, I'm sure the current writers are trying to distance themselves from the "Gemini Twins." Yet, that's only showing me they're already letting things slip through the cracks and that causes my red flag to go up some more!

Second, the Kate/Dr. Dan bonding part of this storyline is irking me. Now, I have to admit ... and I already admitted this to myself after several deep breaths ... I still don't like what happened to "Dansea," but Kate and Dr. D do kinda have a little chemistry. My problem with that - it should have been shown months ago! Had we seen the tender side of their relationship instead of only hearing about their steamy romp and seeing their guilt filled chats afterwards I would have felt a little bad for them when Chelsea found out, but the way it played out simply made Kate and Dr. Dan look slimy and heartless. That plot was certainly not carefully laid out which makes me, yet again, inch the red flag a little higher. Yep, I'm worried.

Papa Bear (E.J.)

One thing is clear - E.J. must have super sperm! The guy has been with three women while he's been in Salem and has impregnated two of them ... one of them twice! I'm surprise Kate doesn't have a bouncing baby Elvis J! Anyway ...

E.J. was pretty much all over the place last week and not always in a good way. Him taking Johnny to the zoo and helping Sami with her resume - cute, very cute! Him making a date with Nicole, keeping her waiting once the said date started then leaving her? Not cute at all. Why she puts up with it is way beyond my comprehension as is why he keeps stringing her along while making strides with Sami, the so called "love of his life." Doesn't make sense.

Also not cute and not making much sense were E.J.'s harsh words about Sami. I understand he was angry and, no doubt about it, she can be frustrating, but when she forgave him for what he did to her he really got the second chance of a lifetime. So, I can't believe after all the apologizing and pining he's done to get her to start opening up he's dating other women and questioning his feelings for her. Again, doesn't make sense and when Stefano is kind of the voice of reason you gotta wonder where this storyline is going.

Mad Mama (Sami)

Well ... at least we know how the show's going to explain Alison Sweeney's pregnancy! And ... umm ... we know who the father is this time. That's good. I think. The rest of this bombshell is a little bit of a mixed blessing, actually, it's just mixed up.

At the beginning of the week I was all, "How cute is E.J. helping Sami with her resume and how awesome is it that Sami is trying to better herself!?" Midweek I was all, "Great the "Ejamicole" ping pong game commences," and by the end of the week I remembered why these three together bother me - they all bring out the worst in each other in a very non-entertaining, monotonous way. I'm tired of E.J. and Sami's dance steps ... tender moment, near kiss, huge fight, she cries, he broods, they share bonding time with the twins, all is temporarily forgiven and repeat. If this were "Dancing With the Stars" I'd vote them both off for their lousy moves.

To again touch on topic of bringing out the worst in each other, I'm not sure how I feel about Lucas and Sami, the original bringing out the worst in each other duo. I was just starting to warm up to his new, more relaxed, less judgmental personality and now that he's orbiting Planet Sami "Chaos" Brady again I'm afraid he's going to revert. On one side of the coin I can see why he would want Sami to tell E.J. the truth about the baby considering what he went through a with Will's paternity. Sorta understandable, but he only seems to be looking at one part of the history book.

The other part, the other side of the coin, has me annoyed. Lucas pretty much hates E.J., that's a fairly safe statement to make. Therefore his eagerness to get on his high horse is a little odd considering all the facts. Those facts - Lucas has first hand experience with all the evil things the DiMeras are capable of, especially when dealing with a precious heir. Fine, he has the rights and the reasons to encourage Sami to tell her baby daddy, but he should also think for a second before speed dialing. Sami's safety and that of her baby's could be in danger so I don't blame her for wanting a little processing time and he was sort of a jerk for taking that away from her. Granted, Sami lied to E.J. in the end and took that time back and, in general, she can be a stubborn mule, but Lucas was the one who looked like an ... a real big mule.

Miracle Mama (Nicole)

One a whole there are obviously parts of this storyline that bother me ... Nicole's lack of self respect, Sami and E.J.'s love/hate tug-of-war, etc. I think those aspects are pretty apparent, but there are things I have to give the writers credit for. Actually, I was a little surprised by how well they're handling some things.

First, they totally explained why Nicole never expected to have kids, but still could via a cool flashback. Cool flashback, that's something you don't hear me say everyday! Vintage Nicole and Victor were fun, but I was excited to see the black sheep Brady cousin, Dr. Colin Murphy - pretty cool indeed! Yes, the writers played their hand well by digging into the vaults for that clip. That was clever and it seemed like they were sticking their tongues out at fans, like me, who were ready to yell "rewrite!" Swift, preemptive move writers.

Second, they're having Nicole go through the DTs. That is definitely a realistic, yet ugly side of alcoholism. Well, I guess all sides of alcoholism are ugly, but I'm glad they're addressing her withdrawals. I just hope the baby doesn't come out asking for a bottle ... a bottle of vodka that is.

Third, I enjoyed that she took the high road and didn't play the baby card with E.J. Granted, Nicole doesn't always take that road with things so serious *cough murder and Chloe's botched surgery* but at least this time she's traveling it and she's not alone, she has RoboJohn. Whereas these two scheming is sure to end in a Kate/Wile E. Coyote type disaster, I love it! If, for no other reason, we're guaranteed a few laughs and at this point in this storyline, I'm fine with that.

Lastly, Nicole's excitement over becoming a mother simply got to me ... she was so cute! Ari Zuker is doing such a good job of conveying the mixed "blessing" she's now faced with. It's a side of Nicole that's been building, the softer side that is, but this will be interesting to watch play out because, sure she's showing that side now, but this hellcat does have fangs and will soon become a "mother bear" so I can only imagine how dangerous she'll be when it comes to protecting her child! Scary!

The Salem Witch Hunt (Mel)

Break out the marshmallows and hot dogs because at the rate things are going there's going to be a big bonfire soon and Mel will be the guest of dishonor! Honestly, was it just me or was everyone on her case last week? Sure, she's far from a saint, but half of Salem was ready to burn her at the stake.

To begin with, I'm not too worried about Mel and Max, they'll kiss and make up for sure ... ok, bad choice of terms when talking about Max and a relative ... right, I'll be nice ... anyway ... I'm more worried about Mel in general. First Julie totally judged a book by its cover then Stephanie and Chelsea came to the conclusion Mel "did it" and, finally, the boys in blue listened to the hearsay and bumped up her name on the suspect list. Ok, she has a motive, but I'll be disappointed in the poepoe use her as a scapegoat to clear Caroline. Not that I want to see Mama B in the slammer, I just don't want to see Mel railroaded as what Trent was punishment enough for her crimes. I already have "Free Caroline!" buttons on my vest and I'll gladly add a "Free Mel!" one too if necessary.

Da Breaks (Philip & Morgan)

The fat lady, er, voluptuous lady didn't even have to sing for Morgan and Philip's relationship to end. The conclusion to this pseudo couple has me a little sad even though it ended on a somewhat up note. But at least there's a chance for her to come back in two years once she's done with her internship in Chicago! Ok, she probably won't return, but if I have to give up on her and Dimples as a couple, I'm at least going to let myself be delusional enough to think she might be back someday! Regardless, I wish Kristen Renton the best and thank her for her entertaining stay in Salem - she will be missed!

Kansas City Dreamin' (Chloe)

Within one (soap) operatic note it seems Lucas and Chloe are no more, Philip and Morgan are no more and, more so, Philip is still in love with Chloe, but she's leaving! I got a little whiplash from all of that and I'm sure Phil did too as he got dumped twice within five minutes! Yet, I'm sure Chloe will be back soon, but I'm not so sure how I feel about a three-peat of "Phloe."

The first time was nice and sweet, sorta Pretty in Pink-ish. The second time both characters were officially adults and, whereas they steamed up the screen with their combined hotness, the entire "friends with benefits" thing never jived with me as neither character seemed like the sex without emotions type. That leads me to pull a Nancy Regan and "Just say no" to a third time. Gee, I guess I do know how I feel about a three-peat!

Carver Can! (Abe)

Vote for Abe! That's what I'm talking about! I can already see him giving a stirring inaugural speech surrounded by the Brady Bunch and Lexie at his side with a Jackie O pillbox hat on! I definitely hope he decides to run for mayor as it would make for a pretty fun storyline if played out right. I can already picture the mudslinging campaign between him and Mayor Slim. Granted, the current mayor wouldn't have to dig too deep to exhume the skeletons in Abe's closet as his life reads like the gossip pages ... adulterous wife, illegitimate son and a father-in-law who does things just a tad illegally. But, if anyone can run Salem it would be Abe! Besides, now that he's not a cop, he needs a powerful job and being in a position to right the wrongs the current mayor has done would be a great start. My vest might be getting a little cluttered, but I'm so going to add a "Vote 4 Abe" button too!

Hot & Not

Hot: Kayla pretty much tore up Salem last week which included tearing Victor a new ... well ... she laid into him pretty hard! Sweetness was more like Stealthness! First she snatched the title of Interim Chief of Staff at University Hospital and then she stood up for her mother (not that feisty Caroline needed the backup). Sure the fight stemmed from her nervousness and Victor only had his ex-flames best interest at heart, but I love seeing the hotheaded Brady side come out in Kayla!

Not: This pains me, but Julie made my not list last week ... more so how the writers are wasting her rich history. She's one of the few remaining "legacy" characters on Days and its sort of sad/frustrating that A, we don't get to see her often and, B, when we do they've reduced her to a judgmental, Betsy Ross costume wearing busy body. If she's going to be on sporadically I'm cool with that, but I'd rather see her short stints count. How about her and Doug reopening the club? Giving more sound advice to Chelsea? More adventures with Bo and Hope? Lemme count to ten ... ok, I'm off the soapbox now. We can proceed with the Line of the Week. Cut to:

Line of the Week:

"First you try to gun me down. Then you try to run me over. Is there something you'd like to tell me Lucas?" E.J. commenting on his adversaries' hostility towards him.

Randomness ...

Am I the only one who thinks they need to put blinds on the windows at the Brady Pub? I mean really, walking past the place turns ordinary Salemites into stalkers. I'd say it's first on the list right before the double doors in the DiMera Mansion - if you're gonna swap secrets make sure the doors are closed. I'm just saying.

I'm a fan of Melanie and Nick, in theory, but she's a little ... umm ... underage so wouldn't their kiss have been illegal? Just wondering.

Oh my gosh - Mark was on again last week and he totally stood beside Chelsea for a minute! I saw sparks! Ok, maybe not, but I'm still pulling for this random card to be laid down as Swamp Baby needs a new guy (read: not Nick or Dr. Dan).

Whereas I'm not in as big of a rush to get "Old John" back as Marlena is, I'd love to see his old hair come back! As my friend commented and I agree, "He's starting to look like the guys from Bell Biv Devoe." a.k.a 90's hairstyles, not good. Moving on ...

Laurisa & Tony's Big Anniversary Celebration, Part One!

It's been a year since you graciously welcomed Laurisa and I into the soapcentral.com family and we couldn't be happier! In fact, we're a little surprised that we haven't been chased out of "Two Scoops Ville" with torches and rotten vegetables yet! For that we're certainly thankful and to try an express a bit of that gratitude we've come up with a little "Anniversary Celebration" to hopefully give you a giggle or two!

Anniversary Fun Facts:

Here're the facts. Just the facts. We've tallied up our hottest "Hots," our nottest "Nots," "Line of the week" recipients and tons of other silly statistics for your reading enjoyment!

Hottest Hot: Anna DiMera! She received our humble honor SEVEN times over the last year! Just imagine how many more she'd win if she was on more often ... translation: give Anna more screen time writers!

Nottest Not: Poor Kate! Yep, as much as we love to hate her, poor Ms. Roberts must not have captured our hearts that much as she received four "Nots" from us the past year. But, if it makes you feel better Bo, Lucas, Stephanie and ALL of the flashback whining we did came in a close second with three complaints each!

Line of the Week Winner: John Black! Actually, I should say "Robo-John" as I have a sinking suspicion "Old John" probably wouldn't have made so many zingers and quips. Regardless, he had six "LOTW" awards - congrats John! Honorable mention should be given to Philip as he is a five time winner!

Now that you know who the Hot, Not and Line of the Week "winners" are, make sure to check out my blog for a detailed list of why the winners won!

Number Crunching:

2, 850 = Average number of words used per article

8, 275 = Number of words Laurisa and I have used during joint articles

68,469 = Number of words Laurisa used throughout the year

72, 302 = Number of words big, ole' blabber mouth me used throughout the year

149,046 = Combined number of words Laurisa and I used in the past year. Yep, we talk a lot!

234 = Number of drinks consumed by your faithful Two Scoopers while writing ... wait ... please hold ... make that 235.

A Word of Thanks From Laurisa ...

Quick thanks to the readers and feedbackers who put up with my crazy ranting about my unhealthy (read = awesomely necessary) obsession with TV to read this column each week. Thanks to my partner in crime, Tony, who keeps me laughing with great lines like: "I couldn't tell if Sami apologized a million times or ten million because after the first hundred thousand I began screaming at the TV too loudly to hear her". Finally, thanks to the fine people over at Sam Adam's Brewery for making enough bottles Sam Adam's Light for me to successfully bribe my husband into looking over my columns. He says that he doesn't enjoy it. Whatever.

Parting Thoughts ...

So friends and Days fans, that's "Two Scoops" for October 6th! Laurisa will be back next week to dish on Days drama and deliver "Part Two" of our little celebration - I hope you had fun so far and, "That's a fact!"

As always, thanks for reading! Tony

Need more Two Scoops? Head over to read blogs by Laurisa or Tony for more ranting, raving and all-out randomness