It's about freakin' time

This past week, John and Marlena were married in a lovely outdoor ceremony in Italy. It was a treat to see this supercouple finally make it official again.

Hello fellow Days fans! Well this week it seems like we got a lot of what we wanted, even if some of it is exceedingly long overdue.

John and Marlena were married again (FINALLY) in a lovely outdoor ceremony in Italy. After enduring Marlena's endless kidnappings and the whole super dumb Alex North debacle, it was a treat to see this supercouple finally make it official, again. Now with that said, it was a little too long coming which made it a little anti-climatic. I was happy, I just wasn't all that excited. John and Marlena are like peanut butter and jelly. You can have one without the other, but they are so much better together.

Speaking of better together, it looks like Steve actually remembers his and Kayla's past instead of pretending. I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED Friday's show when he woke up from his nap freaking out about something Victor had done to them years ago, but in his mind it was the present. So this appears to be the start of Kayla and Steve revisiting their relationship, which is fantastic for them. Not so great for Billie, but great for them.

They really need to give Billie a love interest that is a) not a crazy lunatic (Patrick) or b) part of a supercouple (everyone else she's been involved with). Either they need to bring back Mike Horton or someone else close to Billie's age range that is not married or involved, or hook her up with that super-hot doctor that Nick is trying to pass off as himself to Chelsea (more on that later). All I'm saying is please give this lady a love interest that isn't someone else's! She is a beautiful, supposedly smart woman, stop having her gloam onto married guys and closet nutjobs.

On the same nutjob list is E.J. E.J. is smoking crack. He has to be. Otherwise, why would actually part his lips to say aloud that his big goal is have Ms. Samantha Gene Brady bear his demon spawn (I'm paraphrasing). I am a big spoiler reader so I knew it was coming, but unlike the days of Reilly, reading it does not do justice to seeing it on screen. It was a total record scratch moment, where you have to rewind it and watch it again, just to make sure that, yes, he actually did say that. Maybe it was more of who he said it to, since he decided to unburden his soul to Kate who he happens to be currently sleeping with. Kate made a complete beeline to Lucas and Sami's apartment and told Lucas what E.J.'s plan for Sami was, in response to which Lucas laughed in her face. But poor dear Lucas doesn't realize that E.J. is not only serious, he is determined. And that is dangerous. Almost as dangerous as licking your hand and wiping your slobber on E.J.'s lips. My mouth actually dropped open before I started laughing hysterically. I ask you dear readers, would Reilly do THAT? Now Chelsea has started a video blog at the suggestion of dear ol' Grandma Kate and has found her "soul mate," a sweet, sensitive guy who refers to himself as Lonely Splicer. Little does she know that her dream guy is the same one she constantly belittles, Nick Fallon. His plan is to make her fall madly in love with him on the computer, and then reveal himself when he is sure that she is too far gone to reject him. Good in theory, but the execution may not be quite as easy as he thinks, especially since he sent her a picture of his hot doctor boss. Since Salem does not seem to be all that large of a town and if I'm not mistaken Chelsea still has some community service to work out at the SAME HOSPITAL THE DOCTOR WORKS AT, I foresee Chelsea stalking that poor doctor because she believes he knows who she is. But my hope is that it works out for Nick, just because I like him. He's a breath of fresh air and actually seems to have a brain pretty much every day. Maybe Chelsea isn't exactly the best choice for him, but you know what they say about opposites.

Victor's plan, that I still don't quite get all the way, was in full swing this week. He had a redheaded ex-con kidnap Claire only to bring her back an hour later, which was basically long enough to really freak Shawn and Belle out and to make it seem that Belle is incompetent as far as keeping an eye on her daughter is concerned (my opinion: I don't know if everyone is like this, but if there is a child under ten in the room, my eyes are on the kid, family or not [I have no children of my own as of yet]. I can't help it, I'm always worried they're going to fall, break something or choke. I would never be on the phone with my back completely turned). So of course Prince Shawn comes in an immediately starts laying into Belle about how she could let this happen and so forth, which was really supportive and helpful. Sami blasted him and ushered Belle away. You know it's a really bad day when your black sheep cousin calls you a jerk and she is completely right.

Okay, to get off track a little bit, I have a theory that I have shared with my fellow columnist, Pam (hey, girlfriend!), who suggested that I put it you guys, and feel free to tell me what you think. I was thinking the other day about who John Black really is and why Stefano hates the Brady's so much, so here's what I came up with: We all know that Daphne DiMera is John's mother, as well as Tony's mother and Stefano's late wife. Nobody knows for sure who John's father is, as his mother gave him to her sister, Philomena Alamain and her husband Leopold, which is why he was named Forest Alamain. So here is my theory. John Black is Shawn Brady's (Grandpa Shawn for you newbies) son. Think about it. It would explain why Stefano hates the Bradys so much, if Shawn had had an affair with his wife that left her pregnant. Or in the same view, Grandpa Shawn did have a brother who is now deceased. So one of these brothers had an affair with Mrs. DiMera and John was the result, who Daphne was forced to give away. If I am correct, I would prefer that it be Grandpa Shawn because then TPTB would have to give Frank Parker and Peggy McKay some scenes that are about them and not one of their kids or grandkids. Think of all the story it could create. And even better, since Bo is Victor's son, he and John would not actually be related so there would be no hindrance as far as Shawn and Belle are concerned. And Claire wouldn't be her own cousin.

A couple of random thoughts:

I really want to slap Hope sometimes. She constantly wants Bo to prove himself and not lie to her, but why is it always about her? She should have to prove to Bo that she actually has his back instead of demanding his loyalty every freaking second.

Why does Patrick hiss every time he says the words "My baby,"?

When the hell did Stephanie and Chelsea become friends?

So scoopers, what will happen next in our fair town? Will E.J.'s seed spreading mission succeed? Will Lucas put on a ski mask and show E.J. who's really boss? Will it involve paint or limburger? Only time will tell! See you back here on Christmas Day with my Best and Worst of 2006 column (I have a lot to say!).

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