Frenemy territory

Maya had skirmishes with Bill and Caroline, and Brooke lost after exchanging friendly fire with Eric. But all that paled next to Katie and Steffy calling an unprecedented end to their cold war! Examine the intelligence (or lack thereof) with Mike at Two Scoops Headquarters!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you stand up to someone only to sit right back down again? Did your tango almost get trumped by a horizontal tango? Did you find much-needed support in a very unlikely place? These and more situations faced the Forresters et al this week!

Is it just me, Scoopers, or is this whole Rick/Maya thing twisting in the wind? I loved that Maya went to Bill and swore she wouldn't be intimidated, but, instead of building on that, the story just went in a big circle, with Maya looking plenty intimidated at the Brooke's Bedroom relaunch. And where is Jesse? Isn't he supposed to be the wild card causing all the problems? So far, Ricky Paull Goldin is turning out to be another overhyped cameo like Jon Hensley, A Martinez, Hillary B. Smith...the list goes on.

The only real movement in Mayaland was when Dayzee apologized for having been "a brat" opposing Maya's interest in Rick, and when Caroline showed a strange kind of sympathy for Maya! To Rick's face, anyway. The claws looked ready to come out when Caroline threatened to get Maya fired from Hope for the Future (for which Maya has yet to do any real work), but all the girls did was glare at each other before disappearing the rest of the week. Boring.

Even Bill's threats were surprisingly sedate compared to Dollah's usual strong-arming standards. The story has other problems, too. "You're no longer an item," Caroline gloated. Rick and Maya never were an item, and Caroline looks pathetic, wanting a man who "had [his] little fling." Maya flirting with Carter a day after she "dumped" Rick doesn't do much for her supposed devotion. Then, at the relaunch, Maya told Rick, "I'm here with Carter." Of course you are. You both work at Forrester!

Wake me when there's some real drama, like Jesse coming back and holding everyone at gunpoint. Maybe Bill can redeem himself taking a bullet to save Maya. Another story that needs a B-12 shot ASAP is Brooke cajoling Eric to pose as her babydaddy. For a show that gleefully glosses over details for the sake of its Speedy Gonzales pace, having Brooke work on Eric for the third week in a row is feeling like a broken record. Eric said no, Brooke! Does Brooke's Bedroom need to add a line of hearing aids?

Speaking of which, it was nice to see some business being conducted at Forrester, even if the press event for Brooke's Bedroom seemed rather sudden. Eric was right: Brooke's never been one for subtlety. And she sure made herself conspicuous refusing to wear lingerie and then freaking out in front of the reporters. "I don't think it's businesslike to parade around in my underwear," Brooke protested to Rick. Since when? And did she think her pregnancy would be less noticeable, wearing a little tiny dress?

If Brooke wanted to banish the bump, all she would have had to do is wear some kind of loose, lacy robe, push her boobs out at the audience, and everyone would have been happy. Afterwards, she could cite her menopause as the reason for stepping down as a model. All Brooke managed to accomplish by freezing up on stage was giving the press an opening to badger her about a nonexistent man. No, Brooke Logan has never been one for subtlety!

Amazingly, the usually suspicious Taylor didn't bat an eye when she walked in on Eric hugging Brooke, though later Taylor did try to get Eric to gossip about what caused Brooke's behavior at the press conference. After Eric deftly changed the subject, Taylor thanked him for "leading me back to being the person I want to be...happy...content...and minding my own business!" I was glad to see that Taylor was aware of her tendency to be a buttinski. Even if her reason to butt in is now a lot closer to home!

Brooke recovered from her freak-out, got home, and had her and Eric's honeymoon tent from 23 years ago recreated to the last detail in the time it takes most of us to go to the refrigerator for a cold pop! Ain't nobody got time for that! We first saw Brooke as a caterer in 1987; she's got it in her blood. How else could she keep pulling together instant weddings and other occasions? Brooke, ditch the skivvies and relaunch your mom's catering business instead! You'd outsell Forrester Creations 2-to-1!

I've said it before, and I'm happy to repeat it: anything that keeps John McCook on my screen is all right by me. And even though we got a lot of flashbacks, at least they were appropriate and truly accented the current story, mining the show's rich history. It's just that the current story was annoying the hell out of me. Brooke dialed down her impossible request and asked Eric to simply admit to a one-night stand. Then she seemed to forget it and started in again about Eric raising her baby! Pick one and stick to it, Brooke!

And bad form, playing fast and loose with Brooke and Eric's love story. Brooke lamented that they didn't go back to the desert every year for their anniversary, then Rick told Taylor that his parents were happily married for many years and raised two children together. Whoa! Brooke and Eric weren't married two years, most of which Brooke spent pining for Ridge. And Brooke and Eric divorced before Bridget was even born! Beric's connection is strong enough, B&B. It doesn't need beefing up with inaccuracies.

Wasn't it odd that Brooke kept saying Katie would only be hurt finding out about Brill? I thought the big concern was that Katie could die from hearing such news. Talk about a reduction in stakes. And Eric seemed to send Brooke mixed messages, telling her no but then letting her kiss him. Though, admittedly, Eric has often been a cake-and-eat-it-too kind of guy. Wait until Taylor finds out!

Finally, the merry-go-round stopped, and Eric seemed to get through to Brooke, who apologized for cooking up the scheme and agreed to tell Bill and Katie the truth. But when Brooke interrupted the intensely cloying Batie shenanigans, Brooke froze up again and cemented her place as Captain Obvious. If Katie didn't suspect anything before, surely she does now! (Personally, I think she knows everything and is sitting on it 'til the right time to strike.) Just spill already, Brooke, and let's move the story forward.

What's really moving is the development of "Keffy." Katie wouldn't have tolerated Steffy even as a "frenemy" not that long ago. And Katie got on Steffy's case about her supposedly forced marriage to Liam to the point that Steffy passed out. But Katie more than made up for it by getting Steffy to the hospital and staying by Steffy's side, even as Steffy received her devastating infertility diagnosis. "Family doesn't bail," Katie insisted. I think the newfound Keffy friendship is pure gold!

Now, as a guy, my topography's not the same as you ladies, so I had to do a little research. B&B was super technical about the scarring that caused Steffy's barrenness, but they didn't bother to explain what the D and C procedure actually was. For those that need the primer, D and C stands for "dilation and curettage," which is performed to remove contents from the uterus. And it does sound as if Steffy would have grounds to sue the hospital for a botched D and C. That would be an interesting story.

You know what else would be interesting? Steffy wants a baby. Brooke has a baby she wants to hide. So how about they covertly arrange for Steffy to raise Brooke's baby? Brooke could make a few redemption points, sacrificing herself for Steffy, who might secretly thrill to be a mother to Bill's child. Imagine the conflict if Hope found out! Or, how about Katie blackmails Brooke into handing her baby to new pal Steffy? B&B could use a good old baby switch story. It would really tie things together right now.

Liam grumbled to Bill that his own feelings about Steffy's miscarriage were getting lost under all the attention to Steffy. He does have a point. So leave it to Hope to magically appear at Spencer and completely understand Liam's perspective. Telling Liam his loss would make him cherish being a father all the more, Hope blurted out, "That's how I would feel...if you and I were having this baby together." There are times for triangles and there are times for triangles. But this isn't one of them, Hope.

Steffy wanted to deal with her one-two punch alone at her old condo, but Katie stuck to Steffy like glue. "I know how you feel," Katie tried to sympathize, referencing her postpartum depression. "You had a baby!" Steffy balked. Steffy is right. It's a shame Katie didn't mention her own 2008 miscarriage and how it made her obsess over Nick's son, Jack, because that would have been a lot more relevant to Steffy's situation. But I guess Katie deserves points for making the attempt.

Katie felt that Steffy should tell Liam about the infertility, or at least confide in Taylor, but instead, Steffy implored Katie to keep quiet. Most new friends just ask each other out for coffee! I guess these circumstances required something bigger. If I didn't know Jacqueline MacInnes Wood was switching to recurring, I would be very much looking forward to a deepening connection with Keffy. But I'll take what I can get. And let me just say that "JacquiMac" has really been hitting it out of the park these days!

What's hitting it out of the park for you guys? What's striking out? Step up to the Soap Central message boards or the comments section. Send us an e-mail, or leave some voicemail. Your comments could end up in a future column. Like these!

• "...I have to say, my husband and I watch B&B and have really loved the past week or so with Brooke and Eric. We found so much humor in her trying to reel him in...quite frankly, I am happy to see [Taylor] go. She was never a Forrester. Ridge was a Marone, thus that makes her children biologically Marones." -- Bev

• "I'm a little tired of Hope being considered heartless and crass, and the suggestion that what Steffy had was a miscarriage. She got on a motorcycle...and ended up in an accident. And for what? Because she had to get home for a barbecue? Dr. Meade said the baby was killed on impact. He never once used the word miscarriage. And why does everyone conveniently forget that Steffy interrupted Hope and Liam's wedding with baby news?...Why wouldn't Hope...assume there might be some small chance for she and Liam since the baby is no more?" -- Roberta

• "As a Hope fan, I'd like to thank you...for calling out Hope... Hope's actions [are not] romantic...Hope is the opposite of Brooke. It's very heartless and this is not who my fav is supposed to be...it is time for Hope to move on. I am not a fan of Steffy, but I have been crying for Steffy and now I want her and Liam to work it out...let Hope be with someone new who loves only Hope." -- Mandao "[B&B's writers] should be totally ashamed of themselves. [Their] Brooke story is hideous, now they are having her daughter do the same thing...the show has turned into nothing but a bunch of cheaters succeeding in life; that is not an action that should be rewarded. Also, not one guy on this show has a set of balls...Liam needs to stop following Hope and Steffy around like a lost puppy; decide who you want to be with. Rick, tell Caroline you're done and be done. The men are as sickening as Brooke to watch." -- Kathelyn

• "I have watched B&B from day one. B&B was conceptualized as a soap about an extremely strong domineering matriarch, Stephanie Douglas Forrester, married to a weak but wonderful clothing designer. The torture that Stephanie perpetrated upon Brooke was always a magnificent display of mean. The complete turnabout of Brooke's relationship with Stephanie was marvelous as well...the idea that Brooke would continue a pregnancy that would devastate and compromise her sister's life...is unthinkable. Someone needs to grow a backbone and write some strong decision making on Brooke's part...Steffy might be the only hope of a strong feminine character to carry the show to new heights as in days of old..." -- Lissa

• "Actually, KKL does write for the show. She admitted herself in an interview that she wrote the episode where Stephanie died in Brooke's arms. If I can find the source, I'll come back and share it." -- LM

I know the interview you're talking about, LM. I read it, too, and, to my recollection, Katherine Kelly Lang said she only suggested that Stephanie die in Brooke's arms. Actors suggest stories and scenarios to their higher-ups all the time; it happens on every soap. But suggesting and writing are two different things. And KKL has gone on record as saying she was decidedly unhappy about Brooke sleeping with Bill. Would she say that if she had that much influence over the show? I ask ya.

Would that I had some influence over B&B. If I did, there wouldn't be so many Points to Ponder:

Steffy was supposed to be back at work. Why was she at home instead of handling PR for the Brooke's Bedroom relaunch?... I'm pretty sure there are rules against using cell phones in a hospital. And Steffy told Liam she'd be out late but didn't say where. Steffy's only ever at home or at work; where was Liam supposed to think Steffy was?... Katie was awfully chipper with Bill and Will considering she just helped Steffy absorb the shock of not being able to conceive again...

Wow, Carter was actually doing what he was hired to do at Forrester, talking patents and all. Until he shucked off his shirt to work out again, of course. Is it possible for him to have a conversation with Maya fully dressed?... Double wow, Thomas and Rick were actually in agreement when Brooke's refusal to don lingerie almost sabotaged the press event... How was Maya able to just barge into Bill's office without being stopped by his receptionist, or Alison, or Spencer security?

"Katie will leave Bill," Brooke worried, "and she'll be all alone." Brooke made it sound like her sister would be a spinster the rest of her life, which is highly unlikely... "I was asking for your help in Paris," Brooke told Eric, with no further explanation. Was that a reference to when she was pregnant with Hope and hiding out in Paris?... "You're not worried about Steffy or Brooke?" a puzzled Thomas asked Taylor. "Who are you and what did you do with my mom?" Touch, Thomas. Touch!

"My mother's the most independent woman I know," Rick said to Taylor, defending Brooke. Taylor came back commenting that Brooke always needed a man. You can't really argue that one, Rick... "Everything with you is effortless," Eric gushed to Taylor. Well, it should be; the way your relationship came together overnight with almost zero development could certainly be termed as "effortless!"

Brooke had two panic attacks in one week, for a total of three. What if, after all this, Brooke really isn't pregnant after all? It could still happen... That was a cool shot of Bill, the way he was shown from outside his high-rise... Steffy had a roaring fire going in her condo...in June...in Los Angeles. At this time of year, filling up the fireplace with ice cubes would have been a lot more appropriate!

Well, Scoopers, that wraps up another week. But if I may take a moment, I've recorded a song about the power of positive thinking called "Change My Mind", plus shot a pretty cool sci-fi themed video to go with it. Hey, one cannot live on Forresters and Logans alone, right? I'd love it if you'd check out my video, and thanks in advance for watching/sharing it!

Until next time, I leave you with the following questions. Will Katie get to be the one to keep secrets from Bill thanks to her tentative friendship with Steffy? Will Jesse ever come back to really throw a monkey wrench into the lives of Maya, Rick, Caroline, and Carter? And is Bill about to get an extra special Father's Day present? Keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold!

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