Ay ay, captain!

You would think that an experienced ship's captain like Steffy would have known better than to mess around on a slippery, wet deck and fall overboard.

I never really pictured Steffy as the seafaring ship's captain type. Steffy claimed that she used to drive boats when she was s kid, which seemed to pacify Owen. However the "when I was a kid" phrase doesn't speak of genuine ship captain experience. Instead it conjures up an image of a tiny Steffy dressed in a sailor outfit sitting in Ridge's lap steering the boat with two little fingers while Ridge actually had the controls. Of course, I've never seen Ridge out piloting a ship on the high seas either.

I would also like to point out that Nick is unusually attached to the Shady Marlin 2, and I doubt he'd be happy to discover Steffy kidnapped his step-daddy Owen for a joy ride.The writers don't seem to know what to do with Steffy. First she was with Marcus, then that long twisted ordeal with Rick. When that ended, she went back to toying around with Marcus, but still confessed latent feelings for Rick.

But all that got pushed to the side when out of the blue Steffy became Owen's best friend and is now actively trying to undermine his marriage. Huh? Of course she specifically stated that she wasn't a home wrecker, so it must be true. Steffy would probably tell people she wasn't a thief either, despite the fact that she stole Nick's boat for a joyride and used his personal stash of bathing suits. Sharing bathing suits...ewww. If they would have planned ahead, I am sure Aunt Pam would have crocheted them bathing suits of their very own.

You would think an experienced ship's captain like Steffy would have known better than to mess around on a slippery wet deck and fall overboard. I think we all know this was merely a catalyst to have a semi-naked Owen put his lips on Steffy's lips in what was perhaps the worst fake CPR attempt ever.

B&B viewers often lament the fact that the show is only 30 minutes long and they wish it would be expanded to an hour. Frankly, I don't think the writers even know what to do with half an hour most days.

We've had two weeks of Stephanie denying she had a stroke, and refusing to take her symptoms seriously. Okay, we get it, Stephanie is a stubborn old bird and health problems are on the way. Next?

Steffy finally spilled the beans and told Taylor about Stephanie's condition and as usual the two expressed their undying loyalty to one another. This has the potential to turn into a good storyline, but at present it merely seems like a thinly veiled Public Service Announcement about stroke symptoms.

Taylor needs a man so she doesn't turn into a spinster and Stephanie's nurse. Since Ridge and Nick are both spoken for at present, she could go back to another fling with Rick, or maybe Stephanie could hook her up with Whip.

They Forrester family had to sell their beach house, but then again they sold their plane and Brooke used it the next week to fly to Paris. The explanation was that they were able to buy it back after winning the fashion challenge.

With that in mind, I think someone should warn Katie not to unpack all her clothes, because Rick might move back in next week. Of course, Bill did poach Brooke's keys, so Rick would need to see a locksmith first. You'd think the real estate agent would have retrieved all outstanding keys on a multi million dollar property as part of her service.

From another angle, losing a house is in keeping with the news of the day - how many people do you know that have lost their homes? I live in San Diego and many of my friends have lost homes. Of course, if the home is your spare beach house I don't think it has the same impact as if it's your primary residence and you have nowhere to go. The Forresters are mopey about losing their oceanfront playhouse, but still get to go home to their giant mansion. Thus, I am having difficulty working up any sympathy for the ever whiny characters.

Here is what I do like about B&B right now- the relationship between Bill Spencer and Katie Logan. Don Diamont and Heather Tom have wonderful chemistry together and when they are onscreen together they sizzle. Of course Don Diamont was injured this week and I spent half of Thursday's episode trying to decide if he hit his thumb with a hammer or had flesh eating bacteria.

The afterlife DVD from Bill's dad was a surprise; I didn't see that one coming. Color me stupid, but even after seeing Bill Spencer Sr. ask his son to take down Eric Forrester to avenge Stephanie, I still actually think he loves Katie. Am I a moron or just a sucker for romance?

I asked my Twitter followers this week if they believed Bill had genuine feelings for Katie or if he was using her and the results were a 50/50 split. We, the viewers can't seem to decide, so I anxiously await Katie's response to the same question on Monday. Bill asked her if she believed he was sincere, and she said nothing, in that soap opera way-too-long-pause cliffhanger sort of way. I always yell stuff at my TV like "Spit it out girl!"

Even if Bill is up to no good and only taking over Forrester as one last favor to his deceased dad, I'm okay with that. I think Ridge Forrester is smarmy, wishy-washy and annoying, so anytime someone one ups Ridge, I am happy. When Ridge was blathering on about how no one was going to take away his job, I was cheering Bill on, just to make Ridge eat his words.

On another note, the marvelous Sarah Joy Brown is headed to B&B; another General Hospital castoff to end up in Forrester-Land. While it's wonderful that B&B is willing to hire and employ other soaps castoff stars, I hope they know what to do with Sarah. I was delighted when I heard Rick Hearst was heading to B&B, but since they got him they haven't really known what to do with him. He has become Jackie's shoulder to cry on and Stephanie's cheerleader, and not much else. He's brilliant and deserves a real storyline.

The same goes for Sarah Joy Brown; if you're going to hire an actress of her caliber, use her. Here's hoping they have a plan for her already. The soap world is insane right now; I've been watching daytime drama for 30 years and have never seen the amount of mayhem that has happened in the past six months. Hirings and firings, cancellations, recasts, shows moving cross country- where will it end? The answer scares me some days. When actors with the clout of Eric Braeden are cast aside, no one is safe.

What will happen tomorrow dear readers? Will Nick wonder why his swimsuit is all crusty? Will Stephanie drop her Starbucks and get vanilla latte all over her designer pantsuit? Will Katie's heart surgery scar continue to disappear and reappear? Will anyone ever go looking for baby Jack who seems to have vanished without notice? Will Jarrett rename himself Smithers?