What I am thankful for

Stephanie is about as hot as a paperweight. Eric is still a jellyfish, but at least with Jackie, he is a manly jellyfish.

It's that time of year again, folks, where I sit in the glow of the laptop and ponder the annual question of "This Thanksgiving season, what I am thankful for...when it comes to B&B?" Pilgrims, turkey, warring family members, and football mark a truly wonderful time of year but in LA., you never know what is around the corner during this time of year.

...I am thankful that this crazy trial is almost over for Taylor. I laugh every time I see her having the heart-to-heart with the random prison guard. Maybe it's meant to be endearing but it's so unrealistic that I just can't stand it. Shouldn't Taylor be in the 'general population' of the county jail and not in a cushy private cell? And can I say that orange is NOT her color. She should be thankful that she won't have to look like a highway construction barrier much longer.

...I am very thankful that we have not had any Brooke/Ridge/Nick nonsense this week. I know it's coming but it was good to have a break from the inevitable train wreck that is due next week. I see in the spoilers that wishy-washy Brooke throws down the gauntlet regarding Nick's threat about Forrester. I think the whole story direction makes it seem as though the writers are intentionally trying to make Nick look as bad as Ridge. Nick, of course, is unrecognizable and well, Brooke is reverting back to form. I tried, I really tried. She deserves Ridge and vice versa. No turkey for them, just crow.

...Phoebe should be thankful that Hector has bad aim even while acting as a terrible blind person! I almost fell of the sofa watching that scene! I'm sorry, but has anyone else noticed how well Hector moves around for a blind guy? There is NO way he has learned his environment that well without using a dog or a cane all the time. HAHA!! He doesn't bump into anything! One thing is for sure...he'll have no trouble seeing himself to the door when he's canned from the show. We all know it's coming...Taylor gets out, Thorne forgives her, they hook up, and Hector is out on an island. See ya!

...I am thankful that Ridge decided to actually act like a father and make a token appearance at the trial to support his ex and his daughter. I'm surprised he pulled himself out of Brooke's behind long enough to do the right thing. And just to show that I am not completely unreasonable when it comes to Rigid, I thought his little speech to Thorne expressing his happiness about his forgiveness of Taylor was very nice. Too bad he'll go back to being a weenie next week.

...I am thankful that Shane and Harry are providing such quality laughs fighting over 'Crazy Eyes' Phoebe. And doesn't she have crazy eyes? Am I wrong here? Her eyes always cut back and forth like she just got picked out of a police line-up or something. She looks guilty as Hell of something, I swear. They dart, they bug out, they shift all the time...crazy eyes! And when did she become such a prize that is worthy of all this macho nonsense? Shane has stopped just short of raping her and I can't figure out why Harry hasn't told her he actually 'likes' her so she will understand why he keeps popping up to save her. Come on, guys...wait a few months and see if Steffy comes to town. Maybe she'll be more appealing.

...I am thankful that Thorne has come around and seen that Darla would not have wanted him to be consumed with hate for Taylor. Her character was always written to be a forgiving soul. Taylor is not an unredeemable person and I think that they have a chance of being a good couple now that the truth is out. I think that is what made their pairing hard to swallow for many...the secret overshadowed the chemistry the writers were trying to build between them. Besides, I understand they are due to hit it next week and we have had too long of a 'dry spell' in the sex department on this show. It's time for someone, anyone, to hit the sheets. ...I am thankful that Eric is suspicious of Stephanie in light of the 'incident' with Jackie. I have always imagined her with Eric and thought they made for a more engaging couple...certainly hotter, that's for sure. Stephanie is about as hot as a paperweight. Eric is still a jellyfish in my book but at least with Jackie, he is a manly jellyfish. After all, Eric only went back with Stephanie because of her selfless act efforts with Felicia. Ok, Felicia is fine now...why stick around the mausoleum any longer? Pop a Viagra and get your buns over to the hospital and help Jackie 'recover' (wink-wink).

...this may sounds rough, but I am thankful that Bridget will not be a Mommy. She's not ready. Too immature, too codependent, and still too obsessed with Nick to think about another life. I do feel bad for Dante, however. He seemed truly sad that he would not have another child. What they did not show last week, though, was Felicia off camera dancing a jig! No worries for her! And while I am on this subject, did anyone else out there think it was a little 'out of the blue' that she lost the baby? Good Lord, when did they make that decision? It's like it was an afterthought or like the writers did it as filler or something. Is it April 1st and no one told us? ...As my last Thanksgiving declaration, I will say that I am thankful to have the chance to write this column each week and analyze the sick and twisted goings-on at B&B. I'm hanging in there each week with the promise of better days and better stories and it's so nice to hear from so many of you that my column has become the window into whether or not it's safe to 'come back into the water'.

Last week's question dealt with the recent comparisons of Shane to Deacon and whether or not that even holds water, as they say. I had a unanimous response that they do not compare at all. Deacon did not enter the show with the intention of making trouble...Rick found him to help with his custody efforts with Little Eric and it was after that when the 'bad boy' angle took over with Bridget, Amber, Brooke, etc. Shane is there solely for the purpose of getting it on with Phoebe and getting whatever he can out of Taylor in exchange for his testimony. All of you also remarked that Deacon was far more entertaining to watch (and much easier on the eyes) than Shane. I agree. The scenes between him and Brooke were some of the hottest this show has ever had.

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Ok, this week's question...if you could have one B&B character to your home for Thanksgiving dinner, who would it be and why? I will start...I would have Ridge come over so I could have the pleasure of throwing him out! Just kidding (or am I?)...seriously, I would have Thorne over. He just is the most likeable guy on the show. Yeah, 'likeable' may equate to 'boring' for some but compared to the other guys on the show, he's a breath of fresh air. And cute, too! He can pass me the gravy anytime!

SOAPBOX Beth writes:'I don't think Nick is entitled to Forrester Creations at all. Secondly, it's illegal to convict someone of something they haven't done (in Steph's case, deliberately trying to hurt Jackie) because they've been a big meanie in the past. Thirdly, Nick has committed his own crimes now, too. He broke into Stephanie's house, after being refused admission to her home- then he proceeded to physically attack her, holding her backwards over the stair railing in order to get a confession from her under physical threat and duress. What happened to Jackie was a terrible accident, but what Nick did was psychotic and deliberate. I believe that Nick acquires Forrester Creations from the Forrester family via extortion. All of Stephanie's relatives will sell their shares of the company, and Nick will put that together with his 2% he acquired from Taylor under Marone Industries and that will put him in the majority stockholder position. Nevermind he had given the other stock to Brooke, somehow he will have retained ownership of the 2%. I don't care how anyone feels about Stephanie, this isn't right. Stephanie's family is in no way responsible for what happened, even if Stephanie had picked Jackie up and threw her over the railing. Stephanie will rise again, though. It would be awfully boring if she didn't- I don't really want to watch a show where I don't have Stephanie doing things that make me alternately want to cheer her on or strangle her to death.' Tai says: 'I have been watching B&B since the beginning. I really don't like the comparison between Deacon and Shane. Shane is mental and basically trying to rape Phoebe. I find this very unsettling and kinda twisted.' Julie says: 'Just a quick note to say that what I thought I saw with that railing scene between Stephanie and Jackie was that Jackie was all over Stephanie, pushing, clawing, pulling at her, after chasing her up the stairs, etc... Stephanie was just trying to get Jackie off of her -- not really pushing her hurt her. So, in my opinion, Jackie was the aggressor, and the push Stephanie gave her certainly wouldn't have had enough force to throw her over the railing. What a farce that was! It would have been believable if Jackie did fall down the stairs. Come on writers, we are beyond Aesop's Fables... give us something realistic here for once!'

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