All I want for 2005

Let's hope that this year will be packed with fresh and exciting stories that we have never seen before, instead of cheap, rehashed stories that are used as ratings stunts.

As we all savor the passage of one year to the next as part of the New Years holiday, it is time for me to dust off the crystal ball and try to foresee what may lay ahead for the loyal B&B viewers in 2005. I know I probably won't get ANYTHING that I am looking for, but what the hell...I'll throw it out there anyway. Quite frankly, if last weeks shows were any indication of things to come, we may ALL be in big trouble!

Well, Little Bell has gone and done it again! The fans get another strong but hard to take dose of Bridget and her Ridge 'jones'. I was hoping this year would be jam packed with fresh and exciting stories we have never seen before but instead the powers that be must think the message boards are too quiet...time to stir up some incestuous controversy in the hopes of jacking the ratings a little. Cheap stunt, writers, very cheap. I'm dead serious...give me a shot writing that show and there would be a lot less rehashing and more intrigue, sex, and hot couplings than you could shake a stick at! Why have a writing staff? Just hit 'Start' on the Xerox machine and set up the whole year right now.

I want this Ridge-Bridget thing to go away quickly in 2005. It's old and just doesn't even make any sense now. Spoilers are reporting there may be a discovery that she is indeed his daughter with Brooke. If that is true, the writers just dredged all this up to shake the ratings for the slower holiday period with no intention of having them actually 'do' anything. Creativity. Inventiveness. Variety. Great descriptives...someone should look them up before any more viewers are lost.

I want the Sheila/Baby Diana story to come back and find a little resolution. Maybe I'm reaching here but what this show needs is a true villain that can easily tamper with everyone's lives and this show hasn't had that in a long time. We were led to believe that Mojo has a daughter now yet no mention since. A man like him would want to know for sure so that if the worse case were true, he could scoop her out of wicked Sheila's grasp and raise her himself. She could be rapidly aged to 15 or 16 and throw some spice into the teen storylines. Maybe she could hook up with part-time Jimmy Ramirez or lure Deacon into bed only to be caught for statutory rape, allowing Mass to get his revenge once and for all. See the possibilities?

Some readers have emailed saying that Thorne and Darla need some 'real world' problems to test their seemingly perfect marriage. Ok, then I would love to have the impossible happen and find out that little Hope is Thorne's child. How's Darla going to deal with that? Not so chummy with Brooke now, are we? Thorne will walk the 'two kids by two Mommies' tightrope and Ridge will have to play nicer in the sandbox since Hope would be his niece. Hmmm...imagine the possibilities! Stephanie will have three grandchildren and two by Brooke, which would frost her to no end and Deacon would no longer have any viable tie to Brooke (a good thing I believe as he's never around for either child as it is!). Can their marriage handle it? Probably since they have their own child but I would look forward to the tension between everybody, especially the Forrester Boys.

I'd like to add something else to 'wish list'...an end to the Deacon-Jackie romance, if you can call it that. I am holding out some hope that since Massimo already has him craving a flight with Wild Turkey, that maybe the writers see this relationship is going nowhere fast. Think about this-in a few short months of the Brooke-Nick pseudo-romance there was a very active 'Bricky' message board overflowing with fans of this couple and often going to war with the opposing 'Bridge' board. It got ugly sometimes but showed that the fans were looking for this paring so bad they were willing to dedicate web space to it. I have yet to see anything close to that with Deacon and Jackie. I rarely get any emails speaking well of it and think it needs to be shelved quick. I'd like to see Amber come in and pick up the tequila-soaked pieces of Deacon's life after Horny Toad Thomas has cast her to the curb. Besides, if Deacon continues to sniff around Mass's old lady and her checkbook, he will be a constant target for revenge and he has to wonder if Jackie is really worth all that.

Wish #5 is a simple one. Let Thomas and Caitlin get together and stay together. I may not like either one of them very much but I like Thomas much less with Scamber. That's just all I can say about it while I reach for a Tums.

I also have the chicken bones and voodoo working overtime for Sally to stop trying to stir the pot and screw up Thorne's chance at legitimate success. This font-tampering nonsense is just plain sad. Can't we just let the poor man have a good solid victory? Sally needs to just enjoy the run and collect her loot already. Maybe work on being able to WALK during her scenes a little. Didn't she break her leg a LONG time ago? Seems like it's taking longer than it should for Mustang Sally to be benched.

I also hope that 2005 brings an end to the marriage of Mr. And Mrs. Ridge Forrester Marone. 'Nuff said.

Many heartfelt wishes for my favorite sailor-turned-corporate executive Nick Marone to finally find a hot and legitimate romance. With whom, you ask? See above.

I am still hanging on the faint and fading hope that Oscar, CJ, Sheila, Morgan, any Logan, and Kristen might return to give this tired roster a much needed shot in the arm. Ratings would surge and there may be more reasons for us to 'enthusiastically' tune in each day. I watch, yeah, but my remote control trigger finger is getting a little itchy as of late. Ok, if they won't dust off some older characters, at least bring some new ones on. Paige and Heather should stay. Let's see more of Doctor Mark OUTSIDE of the ER. Have him make a move on Bridget again. DO SOMETHING!!!

Don't get me wrong...if I did not like the show, I would not watch and I certainly would not sit down each weekend and craft such a delightfully witty and warped column about its happenings. While I know there are limitations due to the show only having 30 minutes to work with, I have to believe we could have a better variety of storylines than we have had in the last few years. When I first started watching in he 80's, there seemed to be many different directions and characters coming in and out of the show. You had the Forrester and Spectras, but also the Spencers and Logans to round things out nicely. The latest attempts at adding families a la Marone and Ramirez just don't seem to be taking as well. Don't know why, just not very exciting. The Marone's can't keep anyone around long and the Ramirez family has all the chemistry of a piece of toast. Wake me when they are gone.

As I leave you this week, I wish all of my reader's best wishes for a happy and safe New Year. For those of you following the developments in Southeast Asia, please keep the many thousands victims in your thoughts this year as they have much to rebuild and many to mourn. Makes my little column and all this soap opera stuff pretty insignificant compared to their tragedy. Have a great week...

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Who's on the Soapbox? Emily in Australia writes...i> 'I would love to see Bridget steal Ridge from Brooke because you KNOW she is her mother's daughter!'Dannay writes... '...I agree with you that (Darla & Thorne) are a really good, healthy, loving and supportive couple...yeah, she can be a little sappy at times but I believe that's how HAPPY people act with each other.'

Keep the emails coming...I'd love to put you on the soapbox!

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