What are you thinking?! The strange fantasies of The Bold and the Beautiful characters

Friendships be damned because when it comes to bad boys, the bad girls are hot to trot! To heck with Cartie, Katie kissed Bill. Braylor might be on the rise, but is the lingerie-clad Brooke about to cross that Bridge with Ridge again? Plus, if a woman is guilty for what goes on in her mind, should we give Hope the electric chair for all her future crimes? Let's scoop!

I got excited the other day when Steffy told her parents that it wasn't like Sheila was exactly in prison yet. I thought that meant there had to be more to the story. Maybe Deacon would visit her in the hospital. Perhaps she and Finn would have a meaningful conversation. Maybe Li would return to inject some antifreeze into Sheila's I.V. Instead, the next day, during #TeamTaylor's cheerleading meeting, they made it clear that Sheila actually is in jail.

After my theories went awry on this storyline in the last Two Scoops, I'm swearing off predicting where a storyline will go (yeah, right...), but it certainly seems like we've come to the end of Sheila's story -- for now. As much as I love Sheila, I say good riddance to a rubbish storyline. They botched the love affair with Deacon and sent Sheila to prison for a "B" character's murder, and we didn't get to know if the heart attack was from her fall or not. Heck, we didn't even get to see her led off in handcuffs. If it was so important to get her into jail, couldn't we at least get a scene of her in the paddy wagon, "refusing to harm a fly" or something? Anything?

I could barely keep my lunch down while watching the meeting of the "Attempted Murderers" Society the other day as they sat around hating on the overachiever Sheila because she got the murder-one job done. I know that not everyone in the room celebrating Sheila's demise is an attempted killer, but most are. Think about it. Eric tried to run Deacon over with his car. Taylor shot Bill in the back. Bill played Dunk Tank with Ridge over an ocean, and Ridge kindly returned the favor by giving Bill a lopsided helicopter tour of the bay. Ridge also helped Bill over a balcony. Then there's Brooke, who shoved Thomas to his near death. She didn't mean it, but Sheila didn't mean for Dr. Garvin to go over the balcony, either, right?

Plus, are we really supposed to join these violent people in celebrating capturing a murderer while Li stands in the hospital, urging her son to basically kill his mother? Finn jumping in to save Sheila's life highlighted just what's wrong with the rest of the slugs in L.A. who selectively value life. I can't remember ever seeing so-called protagonists acting downright offended that a doctor performed his oath to save a life -- even if it was Sheila's. Heck, Taylor wouldn't even let Sheila kill herself, but now everyone's disenchanted because Finn saved his birth mother.

What do you think? Have we seen the last of Sheila, or can we expect to see Sheila's Reprisal Part MMMCMXCIX on the horizon this summer?

What's going on with the Logan women? Maybe I missed the memo that it's Logan mating season in L.A., but I certainly didn't miss the mating rituals. For example, Donna hugged Bill about three or four times during the celebration at Eric's. What was up with that? They're civil now? Katie laid a passionate kiss on Bill, despite Carter being just out on the balcony. Brooke dropped her robe in front of Ridge, and Hope is having hot flashes over Thomas!

I suspected Brooke was coming down with Bad Boy Fever when she couldn't stop talking in front of her daughter about being with the wrong men. Bad Boy Fever is contagious, and she must have passed it right on to Hope. Despite the script, Brooke hasn't been with that many bad boys. Just Ridge, Deacon, and Bill -- unless some count Nick. Good old copper Dave was as boring as granny panties for Brooke, and I wouldn't exactly put Eric on the Bad Boy list, either.

I think Brooke recently contracted the fever from Katie, who got turned on by Bill's game of Batman versus Catwoman with Sheila. Katie claimed that acts like that were what made her love Bill, but they were also what had made her leave him -- well, except she left Bill because of his reckless desire for Brooke, not his reckless desire to protect his family. Either way, she swept Bill into a passionate kiss. Will that kiss be swept under the rug or cause problems for her "bromance" with Carter? I pray to the soap gods that Carter saw the kiss!

Taylor and Brooke have become so serious about each other that they've coined themselves "Braylor." Ridge, who grew out his beard and hair to honor his inner Neanderthal, seems supportive of their friendship and ready to slather himself between them like Oreo filling. If you ask me, maybe Ridge should overcome the childish, stereotypical male titillation we always hear about at the thought of two lesbian or bisexual women. I'm sure the writers wouldn't have Brooke or Taylor excited about spooning with bisexual Bill and Ridge, would they?

I ask that the writers show some respect to that community instead of letting our male characters act like pigs at the thought of romantically involved women. Maybe Ridge could, for once, act like a real man and refuse to get between Brooke and Taylor's friendship or romance, whatever the case might be. But something tells me that, the moment he saw Brooke in the lingerie, he was thinking about making a Braylor sandwich with a slice of Ridge.

Sadly, here we go again with another "misunderstanding." Taylor will hear about how Ridge and Brooke wound up going from family night to date night, followed by a late-night peep show. Are we over the teases and misunderstandings yet? I don't watch a soap opera for affairs in the mind or to be shocked by what could happen. I want to see the betrayal in HD.

Sadly, that seems to be all we are stuck with. Taylor is sitting around thinking about Brooke, who is thinking about how much she misses having a man in her bed. Hey, I don't fault Brooke. It's been a year, maybe two. Someone put that in the Book of World Records under Brooke Logan. But is it going to be hoes before bros? Or will Brooke keep her libido in check for Taylor's sake?

Back to Hope, who was minding her own business until Brooke foisted Bad Boy Fever onto her. It was strange that Brooke said Hope didn't like Bad Boys. What is Wyatt, if not a bad boy? A silver-bullet surfer dreaming of mini-vans?

The thought of bad boy Thomas caught fire in Hope like a match on a funeral pyre -- the funeral pyre of her marriage, if she keeps fantasizing about Thomas while boinking Liam! Poor Liam. He was probably thinking about his favorite tofu and had no idea that his wife was seducing him and thinking about Thomas. If Liam finds out, what should he say to Thomas? "Thank you for the hot sex I had with my wife?" Maybe? "I hate you because you're all that's ever on my wife's mind?" Maybe?

What do you think? Could there be "Thope for the Future?" Or will this affair only exist in Hope's mind? If it's only in Hope's mind, is that cheating? Now that we know what's in Hope's mind, is Liam justified in not wanting her to work with Thomas?

Yes, Hope was right that she has had to put a lot of trust in Liam after his rounds with Steffy, but does that mean Liam has to allow his wife to have a pseudo-affair with his enemy? Lastly, is Hope justified in jumping down Liam's throat about his feelings about Thomas when Liam is essentially right about the untoward situation?

Drag out the tequila and limes and lay plastic on the couch because it's time for another heart-to-heart between Steffy and Liam about Hope. According to Scott Clifton in Soap Opera Digest, "Steffy alleviates his worries, and he trusts her." How can Steffy alleviate his worries when she was suspiciously eyeballing Thomas and Hope her-damn-self?

Also, next week, there's more fallout for Thomas, Hope, and Liam, but no Sheila in sight, not in the spoilers, anyways. Coming up, The Bold and the Beautiful will have its 9,000th episode. To celebrate, the soap will pay homage to Steffy Forrester, business mogul and self-proclaimed crotch rocket. Click here for a tribute we did for the character for Jacqueline MacInnes Wood's twelve-year anniversary with the show.

Thanks for reading my Two Scoops on The Bold and the Beautiful. Visit our Comments section below, and let us know what you think about Braylor, Thope for the Future, and Katie's kiss with Bill. You can also share your thoughts on other topics and this week's column -- your comments might appear in a future column. If you want to check out past columns, you can check those out here. Until we scoop again, stay bold and beautiful, baby!

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