Brooke/Trout: The catch-and-release dating policies of The Bold and the Beautiful

Last week, Bill went "trick-or-threatening" at Deacon's house. The thought of Brooke being available bristled Sheila's fur, and we'll scoop on why Bill's gesture to protect Brooke might have put her in jeopardy. Quinn usually skips town when running from the law, not from a man. Here's the scoop on what our writer thinks actually happened to Quinn and the real reason Katie wants Carter.

What's scarier at Halloween time? A nine-toed killer for a lover or Dollar Bill "trick-or-treating" at your front door? Bill's trick was tossing dollar bills with his face on them, and his treat was the satisfaction he received from staking his claim to Brooke Logan.

In case anyone forgot, Bill haughtily reminded us that he checks every box. Yes, he certainly does. In fact, I don't know why the drab-suited dressmaker is the romantic lead on this show or why women like the simpleton Katie flock to the likes of the two-second-romance man, Carter. I take that back. I do know. It's all about his south pole, but we'll get to that next.

Did Bill prove Katie right by marking his Brooke territory? I think he proved that if Katie accuses him of it enough or pushes him toward it enough, he'll eventually do it. The first time he grew romantically interested in Brooke, it was because Katie had pushed him into it. The next time he wound up with Brooke, it was after Katie went crazy with the notion that he was doing it behind her back, anyway. He was finally like, "Screw it, I might as well do it."

This time, it's the same. Bill has been trying to get Katie to see that he's wanted her since before 2020. If she's still going to accuse him of wanting Brooke, then he might as well excel in it, employing all his yachts, jets, and homes. I am all for a Bill and Deacon rivalry for Brooke's affections with a jealous Ridge on the sidelines, interfering, while Taylor boils red with jealousy.

Sadly, this plot is unattainable as long as Brooke is all, "Get out of Ridge's house, Bill! You know how he feels about you and Deacon." Brooke needs to stop. Ridge slept with Taylor. This is Brooke's free pass to go buck wild. She should put on her red dress and do her best Madonna "Material Girl" impression as Bill takes her all over the world. See if Ridge's boat tank can keep up with that!

Brooke might not survive long enough to have an affair with Bill or Deacon now that Bill ran his mouth about her freedom from Ridge in front of Sheila. Sheila's nose is so wide open for Deacon that she's tip-toeing around there, stealing steaks and trying to buy him motorcycles instead of sneaking to see Finn or Hayes. If there's the slightest chance Brooke could disturb Sheila's make-believe world with Deacon, Sheila will strike, and that could mean serious injury or threat of death for Brooke. And, as is par for the course this year, Brooke will have no idea why it happened to her.

I am overjoyed to see Dollar Bill Spencer return to himself. I wasn't buying Buddha Bill, anyway, and with Sean Kanan (Deacon Sharpe) reupping with B&B for another two years, I suspect that means the rich man versus poor man war is on. Who do you root for? Bill or Deacon?

You guys know by now that I have an extremely active imagination. It was firing on all cylinders when the writers came up with this lame reason why Quinn disappeared from Los Angeles after finally getting the man whom she's claimed to love so deeply.

The breakup was unavoidable. After Carter got snotty-nosed in front of Quinn, sobbing about how he wanted to be a husband in the worst way, I assumed she'd walk away. Carter, however, really believed she'd buy it if he said he doesn't need those things, after all. I would almost believe that she left him so he could have those things with someone else -- except there's no way that happened because Quinn is selfish. If she left, it was for her own preservation.

Shauna showed up, dressed as a red Fruit Roll-Up, with absolutely no light to shed on the situation -- well, except what a bitch Quinn can be when she's ready to end something. But Deacon could have told us that. Just look at how fast Quinn turned on him. As far as Quinn's MO being to cut and run, though, that only happens when she's running from her crimes.

So, my question is -- what did Quinn do now? Has she gotten involved in some illegal jewel heist or fraud? Has the investigation into Ricardo Montemayor's death finally caught up with her? And where is Wyatt? Did he have to leave Flo and go on the run with Quinn again?

Katie seemed to salivate at the news of Quinn's departure. Katie wants her some Carter, and Carter had the nerve to reciprocate the interest, even though he's mourning his relationship with Quinn. How can any woman take him seriously at this point? Look at him. He's in a meeting with his jilted bride, announcing how the woman he left her at the altar for left him. And mind you, his jilted bride is the sister of his yesteryear fiance! Now he's infatuated with Katie?

Let's not even look at the elephant in the room -- okay, let's do. Katie has medical problems out the wazoo and almost died in childbirth. She's pretty much raised Will. At this point in her life, does she really want the same things as Carter? Or is Carter making another lightning-speed mistake in dating? Katie knows he wants to be a husband and a father, so why is she jumping into a situation with this vulnerable man who obviously has feelings for Quinn as deep as Bill's are for Brooke?

I do not believe for one minute that Katie thinks she's suddenly found love with a man who is still crying on his legal briefs over Quinn. If Katie can't accept that Bill will always love her sister, how is she okay with Carter being in love with Quinn, who could come back? Unless, of course, Katie is the reason Quinn disappeared, but I digress.

I don't think Katie is looking for love and a happy-ever-after. I think she's looking for an affair, and she's all about finding out what Carter has in his pants that turned Quinn on. Katie wasn't even coy about it. She kept calling him sexy, and she straight up asked him what had made Quinn risk everything for him. "You're intrigued?" he asked. Don't be surprised if Carter winds up as another one of Katie's boy toys.

I don't feel sorry for Carter. He asked Katie why this kept happening to him. She said he was looking for love in all the wrong places. If you ask me, looking for it with Katie, who's tied to Dollar Bill, is about the next wrongest place Carter can look besides Quinn. Carter might be the next man to receive a "trick-or-threat" visit from Bill.

Steffy just keeps going and going and going. She will not shut up about her parents' love life. I suspect, though, that if we removed her batteries, her eyes would glow red, and in a doll voice, she'd say, "My parents are reunited, and Brooke's gone. Ha...ha...ha..."

When Steffy and Thomas called a business meeting at work, I thought it was to deal with the important news that Quinn had up and disappeared on the jewelry line just weeks before the showing. Since Paris was there, I thought they'd ask her to be the lead model in the next fashion show. Then I thought maybe Thomas would ask if anyone had seen his ex-girlfriend, the mannequin. You know, to help him combat these Hope fantasies.

Nope. Steffy called the meeting to gloat about her parents hooking up. I guess it was inevitable that in a place where everyone is constantly hooking up, they'd finally start having relationship status meetings, but Steffy did not give a damn about Carter's romantic woes. It didn't faze her, either, that -- via text -- the creative force behind the jewelry line had resigned.

When Steffy heard about Quinn texting her resignation to Eric with absolutely no notice, Steffy coldly said that Quinn made great jewelry, and for that, she'd be missed -- but back to Ridge and Taylor. Other characters' reactions ranged from confusion to sympathy for Brooke and Ridge's relationship. Katie echoed everyone else who warned against counting Brooke and Ridge out.

The best line Steffy had last week was when she said, "This may sound childish, but..." Yes, she's right. She sounds downright infantile at this point, and the more she blathers on, the more ignorant she looks. Steffy is headed for a fall, and I can't wait to stand over her, laughing.

Thomas is back to fantasizing about Hope. That cliffhanger kiss didn't fool me. The only way he'll ever get Hope is in his dreams. I suggest he dig that mannequin out of storage and put that voice app to better use. But speaking of the mannequin, is anyone besides me pissed that, after that whole brain injury plot Thomas had last year, he's crazier than ever?

You know who I blame for this? Taylor, a world-renowned psychiatrist. She is the one who brags about counseling him long-distance. She couldn't figure out that Sheila was still batty. She can't figure out that Ridge is using her again. Taylor is worthless, I say. Worthless!

I was impressed by the moment Scott Clifton (Liam) and Katherine Kelly Lang (Brooke) created around the vodka bottle and Brooke's urge to drink. Brooke really wanted the drink, and I do not blame her after the year she has had, but Liam yanked her back on the wagon and refused to let her fall. The only question I have is why Brooke keeps liquor in her house.

To quote Steffy, this might sound childish, but -- did you see how Thomas wanted to know all about his parents in Aspen before a commercial break, and after the commercial break, he said to Steffy, "Such a great feeling. Mom finally ending up on top." I mean, did they have cameras in that bedroom Steffy set up for Ridge and Taylor? How did they know who was on top?

Paris was surprised to hear that Quinn walked out on Carter after he jilted Paris at the altar. Carter apologized, saying he shouldn't have treated Paris that way, knowing how he felt for Quinn. At that moment, I was thinking, "But you did it to Paris' sister, Zoe, and you're about to do the same thing to Katie." Can Carter please just take up knitting instead of dating?

I'd like to know why Taylor acts like she and Ridge just got back from their honeymoon. Does she realize that marriage requires a legal dissolution before she can be with Ridge? I could ask the same question of Bill. He told Deacon that Taylor and Ridge might be married by now; however, I don't know how that could be unless Ridge has a residence in Colorado, or he flew within a day down to that place where Eric went to divorce Stephanie before marrying Brooke.

Taylor gives Ridge a gift -- Wyatt's beach house. It appears that Bill is selling all of his real estate these days. And that is Bill's house. He took pleasure in telling Wyatt that numerous times. With Quinn and Flo off canvas and now his house up for sale, what does this mean for the character of Wyatt Spencer?

In other spoiler news, Liam broaches the subject of returning home with Douglas, and Liam overhears a revealing conversation between Hope, Thomas, and Douglas. When Brooke and Steffy spar, Brooke gives Steffy something to think about regarding her brother's obsession with Hope. Someone's about to pop the question. Paris tells Thomas a secret about Hope, and something from Hope's past appears in her present.

That's it. I'm all scooped out. Thank you for joining me in breaking down the B&B shenanigans. Tell us what you think about the week in the comments section below. Until we scoop again, stay bold and beautiful, baby!Chanel

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