Steppin' up to the Mike

Brooke stepped up to the mic to announce that she was banning Deacon from her house, while Carter announced a return to Paris, which prompted Grace to announce sexual harassment. But there was no announcement when long-time Sheila cohort Mike Guthrie paid a very-much-surprise visit! It's all Mike for Two Scoops' Mike!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you feel like the only place you could ever see your daughter was at her house? Did you go from being a mama lion to a mama barracuda? Did you make a surprise entrance befitting the woman you've always worshipped? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer-Walton-Buckingham-Finnegan clan this week!

Holy missing security guards, Scoopers! With Steffy out of town, and the back-to-back-to-back shocks of Finn's "death," Steffy's memory loss, and Li's son saving, B&B had fallen back into a predictable, not particularly exciting pattern of the lives of the lovelorn, with Brooke booting Deacon, Eric dissing Donna, and Grace...being Grace. But one quick scene with the returning Mike Guthrie opened this columnist's eyes! Let's Scoop about it!

With Steffy suddenly out of town, Thomas took up his sister's slack in working to push their parents together. And Taylor was more on board with this than she used to be, no matter how many times Ridge refers to Brooke as "my wife." Seriously, Taylor, that made more sense back when you were hopped up on psychedelic berries. Why is Taylor always written to only be able to love Ridge?

Meanwhile, across town, Deacon was not happy that Ridge wanted to spend time with Taylor so Ridge could be sure which woman he wanted to be with. I share Freaky Deaky's displeasure, though perhaps not for the same reason. Ridge was doing this "who should I choose" stuff with Brooke and Taylor over 30 years ago already. Thirty years. I mean, in real time. That's like 170 in soap time!

You can put new faces on Ridge and Taylor, but using that as an excuse to rehash B&B's most infamous triangle is not enough to put us through this again. Love her or hate her, I think we pretty much know at this point that Brooke is the woman Ridge wants to be with. Taylor had a couple of good runs, and maybe it's true that "dying" twice put a crimp in her style. But Tridge hasn't even been together since 2006.

And I wonder, do any of you truly care at this point who Ridge ends up with? Especially when this woman-go-round was caused by something as silly as Brooke drunkenly kissing Deacon? I mean, she didn't run off and marry Deacon while inebriated like Ridge did with Shauna. This might work if Ridge had any room to talk, and he comes off as hypocritical as Taylor does pathetic for holding out.

Brooke really isn't much better here, either. After months of hearing her whine how she didn't know why she drank while doing nothing to investigate it, Brooke now further casts herself in the wrong by agreeing with Ridge's demand that Brooke bar Deacon from the Logan property. Many of you are railing against Brooke being a '50s anything-you-say wife, and, in turn, doesn't Brooke have the right, if we're going to play that way, to insist that Ridge stop hanging out with Taylor?

The one thing Deacon was right about was that pulling the welcome mat out from under him will not automatically fix Bridge's problems. Amen, ya hunky monkey. But Deacon wanted some sort of compromise that would let him keep coming over to Casa Logan. Why? Do y'all know how big Los Angeles is? Deacon can spend time with Hope anywhere. It doesn't just have to be at that little cabin!

I know soap budgets are tight, but surely there's a mothballed set somewhere that could function as an apartment for Deacon, or hell -- a new pad for Lope. I don't even think they have a bed, because every time they get frisky, it's on their living room floor. Oddly, Liam and Hope went at it quite suddenly after talking about Deacon's banishment. I mean, I know Deacon's a walking aphrodisiac, but come on!

Speaking of new sets, at this "club" Eric belongs to (I didn't know these clubs came with apartment rentals?), Eric was busy breaking things off with Donna...by shagging her first. Eric joked that he wasn't very good at breaking up, and you know that's right. Donna always seems to get the, er, raw end from Eric, poor girl. She wanted Eric to leave Quinn for her, while Eric seemed ready to give Quinn another go.

I did like the rather "new" revelation that Eric had initially pursued Quinn because she's a fellow artist. Now, that makes sense -- outside of a brief flirtation with Jackie, Eric had never really been with a woman who shared his creative interests. But I'm really torn about who Eric should be with, if anybody. At this point, he really should leave Quinn, if all he's going to do is cheat on her, but Donna should be wary of that propensity herself.

At least Donna wouldn't have to battle Stephanie anymore in light of a Deric retcon. But would Eric last that long? At some point during his "honey of an ohhhhhh" with Donna, Eric's heart rate spiked enough that Quinn's smartphone app that was hooked up to the heart rate ring Quinn gave him went off! Was Pickleball that much of an exertion? Quinn quickly called Eric, who, of course, deflected while erected.

I guess that was buzzkill enough that Eric got serious about not getting serious with Donna, leaving the middle Logan sister once again licking only her wounds. This is why I can't really ship Deric, either. Hey, Donna -- maybe your high school hunk, Mark Mallory, is still in town. It's been 35 years -- he might have grown out of being a d**k. Of course, in that time, he could also be bald and fat. Is Rocco still around? Jake? Pam?

Carter was with Quinn when Eric's smart ring made Quinn's phone light up, but Carter himself was anything but lit up. Indeed, this dude is still moping about how he wants Quinn but can't have her. Dude, seriously. Have you been taking lessons from Taylor? Come to think of it, a Carter/Taylor pairing could be interesting. Carter wanted to break out of the rut he was in, and he declared he had come up with a way to do it.

And that way was...getting with Paris! Even Quinn knew that was a triple-A number one bad idea. She could tell that Carter viewed a Paris reunion as some kind of sacrifice. Oh, Carter, how could you have dropped so many IQ points so fast? He used to be a pretty intelligent character -- either that, or we didn't see him often enough to tell that he's only got enough brain power to run a pen light.

Carter felt that he and Paris had something. Well, you've certainly got something, Carter -- twice her age. And for as enterprising as the girl seems to be in philanthropic ventures, her bulb isn't much brighter than Carter's. Paris only questioned it for a millisecond when Carter swooped in and planted a sudden kiss on her after he'd played keep-away for weeks.

Maybe they're perfect for each other. Neither has much of a clue about relationships. Carter had just proclaimed that he was letting Quinn go, when he hadn't held on to her in any way, shape, or form for eight months. And Paris was happy that Carter wanted her "back" when they were only together about five seconds! Seven seconds tops. But Paris had her man, and the kissy-pooing got underway.

Naturally, Grace walked in just as Carter and Paris's lips were refreshing their memories. Grace was not happy! Well, of course she wasn't. As I said in my last column, this woman has only one purpose in life: stanning Pende. Grace is a doctor -- does she ever go anywhere near a hospital? Where does she even live? Cassandra Creech could rock this character -- if this character were ever given anything else to do.

How cool would it have been to find out Grace helped Li smuggle the comatose Finn out of the hospital? It would be like using Reese's superpower, only for good. As it is, I think either Grace and Reese were soul mates or that she at least picked up quite a few tricks from him. Grace is downright stalker-y when it comes to Paris and Zende. Note how Grace suddenly appeared when Z-boy was swiping Paris pics on his phone.

Grace wasted no time in grabbing Zende's phone and making yet another case for Zende and Paris' togetherness. Even Zende had to remind Mrs. Buckingham that Paris simply wasn't interested. Grace raged at the idea of Carter sucking Paris in the way he did Zoe. Yo, Gracey, you weren't around then, so let me hip you -- it was Zoe who did Carter over...with Zende! Carter wasn't the one who victimized Zoe. That was Thomas. Grace's beef should be with him.

Just wanna say, too, that Zende and Carter were supposedly covering for the grieving, traveling Steffy. Um...no! Steffy is only the co-CEO of the joint. You could add up five Carters and seven Zendes and still not equal one Steffy in that regard. But I guess that's all Forrester has left, with the other co-CEO too busy sniffing around Taylor, and company founder Eric restarting his pickle.

Okay. I'm all right now. No, I'm not. Despite having heard from both Zende and Paris that Paris does not want to be with Zende, and despite Paris telling her mom that her meddling was downright embarrassing, Grace went full-on gangsta and ran to Ridge, complaining that Carter was sexually harassing Paris! Grace had seen them kissing! HAHAHAHAHA Grace! That kind of "harassment" is what Forrester Creations is all about! You think anyone over there is gonna care?

Certainly not Ridge, who "Oh Logan"ed Brooke after she "accidentally" slept with Hope's then-boyfriend Oliver (the kind of slack you'd think Ridge would be giving Brooke now for a much less major infraction). Yeah, if I had a last nerve, Grace is on it. What does she think she's going to accomplish? Why doesn't she just get honest and admit that she wants Zende for herself? Because I think that's what her laser focus on the guy is all about, and it would be a lot more interesting.

Before I get to what really got my soap juices flowing this week, call David Attenborough, because in the wilds of Los Angeles, there was a rare Katie sighting! Yes, the species katus heartrecipientus ventured into this part of the world, apparently having been exiled to Forrester International, where all we-don't-know-what-to-do-with-these characters go.

Wow. Katie had been spending time in the Paris office to be near boarding school prisoner Will (hey, that means Katie's house is empty! Why doesn't Donna shag Eric there? Or maybe Auntie Katie can let Hope visit big bad Deacon over there!), but dropped in to...and you'll never believe this...tell us about how Bill was still trying to woo her. Really? When? In between pleading Brooke's case to anyone who will listen?

Hope told Katie that there had been no indication that Bill wanted Brooke anymore, but I've seen no indication that Bill wants Katie, either. If anything, Bill is trying to get Ridge to take Brooke back, as evidenced by Bill's visit to Ridge, during which the Dollah berated Ridge for "living at daddy's house, sucking your thumb like you're the injured party." One thing I've always said -- when Bill's right, he's right.

As for Bill and Katie, they're so dead, they couldn't even score an audition for The Walking Dead. So, why is the show still leaving a door open for them? They haven't even been married since 2016, despite them telling us that they were. That's up there with Finn and Steffy never signing their marriage papers. Let Bill move on with some woman who isn't a Logan, or just have him go three-for-three with Donna already. And Katie...she deserves someone new. Is Rocco still around? Jake? Pam?

Enough of all that! Now to the truly intriguing stuff. It could have been just another day at the prison, with Deputy Chief Baker sassing Sheila (and he should; he only first let Sheila slip through his fingers in 1998), and Sheila being paid a visit by...Li? That was out of nowhere! Would anything Li said to Sheila when Steffy was comatose at the hospital lead you to believe that Li wanted anything more to do with her husband's concubine?

Well, for what it's worth, Naomi Matsuda is playing the hell out of Dark Li, who wanted Sheila to know that she was going to testify and make sure Sheila spent the rest of her life in that hellhole of a prison! Li was sure that Sheila wished Steffy was dead, as well, so Hayes would have no parents. But does any baby go parentless where Sheila is concerned?

No! True to form, Sheila piped up that she would have raised Hayes. Actually, I say "true to form," but that did surprise me a bit. Hate to think how that would have turned out, though, given Sheila's track record raising kids (and I still say Mary is her only legit one. I don't believe human shield baby Diana was hers, nor Y&R's Daisy and Ryder, and I still want to see a DNA test run on Sheila and Finn, to be honest).

But I'm gonna guess that Li is a noob in terms of committing crimes, because more than once, she slipped and referred to Finn in the present tense. And Sheila, whose experience committing crimes spans soaps, cities, countries, decades, and millenniums, had her radar shoot right up. If anyone is going to figure out Finn is alive, it's mama Sheila.

And personally, I was all about her standoff with Li, who more than held her own. Li seemed strong but silent from the get-go, but we are now seeing a side of her that really isn't scared of Sheila at all. Not even when Sheila slammed her shackled hand down on the table and growled, "YOU are starting to get on my nerves!" I'm makin' a GIF out of that. I am so making a GIF.

So, Li left the prison, and all that was left was for there to be a fade-out on Sheila. But half a mo'! The attending guard called for Sheila...who turned and brightened up like the fire she was assumed to have died in back in Genoa City. "Mike!" she said as she smiled. And there he was, that...that...well, that guy that I've discovered a bunch of you don't know. And if you started watching after 2010, I can't say I blame you.

Therefore, I am going to be the one to tell you how epic this appearance was! Of course, to do that, I have to give you the backstory. In 1992, when Sheila and Eric were growing closer, Eric's then-wife, Brooke, got pregnant (ultimately with Bridget, who we still haven't seen interact with Deacon) but didn't know if Eric or Ridge was the father. Ya know, 'cause that's kind of what Brooke does.

To clear her path to Eric, Sheila attempted to tamper with Brooke's paternity test but was caught by Mike Guthrie, the hospital security guard. Sheila threatened to castrate him, but Mike, undeterred, spun the carousel holding Eric and Ridge's blood samples, rendering the results of the test truly random. A year later, Mike blackmailed a job at Forrester security out of Sheila.

On Mike's first day, Sheila sicced a hungry Doberman on Mike, confident she'd finished him off...but surprise! Mike had once trained Dobermans, and even Sheila had to be impressed. Mike soon became Sheila's confidant and cohort; he was the one Sheila called when she thought she'd drowned Lauren Fenmore and when Sheila needed help kidnapping James Warwick. For starters.

Mike fell in love with Sheila, but, while she occasionally admitted to a kinship with him, she never returned Mike's feelings in any romantic way. Mike last saw Sheila in 1998, when she made ready to retrieve baby Mary from Stephanie, shooting Stephanie and going on the run. That was the last time we saw Mike, too...until 2010, when he randomly showed up to sell Stephen Logan a gun!

Stephen wanted to get an off-her-meds Pam to shoot Stephanie, but La Forrester shot Stephen with the very gun he bought from Mike. Good one, Stevie! Mike's appearance was sudden, short, and sweet...but notable because he suggested that Sheila was still alive. And this was when she was considered to be dead, having gotten surgery to look like Y&R's Phyllis Summers and having been shot by Lauren for her troubles.

So, Mike showing up now -- out of completely nowhere! -- is a huge and pleasant surprise. And how B&B kept this one a secret, I'll never know. I was floored! I would never have expected Mike's return in a million years! And on June 9, the exact fifth anniversary of Sheila-with-her-own-face's return! I guess maybe I'm this excited because I have a soft spot for Mike, having met his portrayer, Ken Hanes, at a soap event in 1998.

But, as someone who rarely watches soaps for the relationships, I'm especially jazzed about Mike silently showing up. What will this mean for Sheila? Is he going to break her out of jail (again)? How did he end up being a guard at that particular facility? What has he been doing since 2010? Maybe we'll find out, although Lauren still has to find out Sheila is alive after five years! And we still don't know why Zende and Nicole got divorced. So, the odds may be against any real Mike Guthrie backstory.

Not that it really matters, because Mike Guthrie is here! And welcomed! How do you think he'll figure into Sheila's story? Might they finally get together? Should Taylor keep wasting her time on Ridge? Is Brooke diminishing herself by giving in to Ridge's demands about Deacon? And is Grace as crazy as ex-husband Reese and daughter Zoe turned out to be? Grab the mic in the Comments section below or the Soap Central message boards, or simply click here to submit feedback. Your comments could be in a future column! Like these!

"So the doctors that were in attendance over Fin (and it wasn't his mother) didn't notice that he died! Also as he is comatose he has to be fed via IV. Nothing was hooked up to him except a tiny oxygen tube." -- Rob

"Finn is alive was one of the worst kept secrets in B and B history. The only reason I even care is to prevent Steam from ever rearing it's head again. I love Jennifer Gareis, but I don't enjoy Donna, and Donna and Eric make me want to upchuck. Quarter wasn't shiny the first go around and losing the Avants for Paris and crew was a hideous mistake." -- Sharon

"I am quite uncomfortable with all the shootings that have gone on over the years on B&B. It's not normal for people to be carrying guns around, especially in their handbags. At least not where I live. Storylines with guns are not necessary for dramatic tension. Having said that, now we know Sheila is not a murderer (this time at any rate), so this should affect her potential jail sentence. And now she is no worse than Taylor. When's Taylor going to have to answer for what she did to Bill? Is no one going to hold her accountable? If either of them has the excuse of reduced mental capacity, this needs to be addressed on the show." -- Eva

"Grace has worn out her welcome already. Bye bye, and take superfake Taylor with you. I love the sixtangle. It has lots of possibilities; number 1 being a wedding between Eric and Donna. Ridge go back to your wife, now! And buy your own mansion. You are too rich & old to be couch hopping between relatives and wives, and kids, for your whole life. B & B can surely afford a new set for Ridge's house? Brooke can give her old pad to Hope and Liam. The cabin is too small at this point." -- Mary

For the love of Mike -- Mike Guthrie is back! So, keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold. And, no matter where you are in the world, democracy and freedom are always beautiful.AMJ

What are your thoughts on ? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- so drop your comments in the Comments section below, tweet about it on Twitter, share it on Facebook, or chat about it on our Message Boards.