Prisoners of love

Half the Spencer men are in jail, but most of the week was devoted to Carter further imprisoning himself by proposing to Zoe, and Shauna finding herself behind Paris' bars! Get time off for good behavior with Two Scoops' Mike!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you throw stones, forgetting your glass house was made of mirrors? Did you put a ring on one girl but kept wanting to put something else on another? Did your loose lips threaten to sink a whole fleet of ships? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer-Walton-Buckingham-Fulton clan this week!

Does all seem right in the universe to you, Scoopers? Liam and Bill are both in jail, but whatever fallout there might be from that got smothered by Quarter and their growing legion of secret keepers. Isn't Half-Dollah Will wondering where Papa Dollah is? Who's running Spencer Publications with its CEO coolin' it in the cooler? Guess it doesn't matter, because Paris is about to bust Quarter like she won at a quarter slot machine. Let's Scoop about it!

I often forget, but it seems Forrester Creations is run by a team of town criers. Can't these people get their news from TMZ like everyone else? Brooke told Ridge about Liam's arrest, and then the storylineless Bridge imparted the news to the entering Steffy and Thomas. And wouldn't you know, Thomas built up a head of steam about Liam "murdering" his best friend!

Where's Ivy when you need her? She was the best at declaring "merdah," though Thomas caught up fast. "They just left [Vinny] on the side of the road like he was an animal!" the designer raged. Couldn't they have stayed and called an ambulance? Oh, like you did, Thomas, when you stood by the side of the road to make sure Emma was dead before you drove off? Spare me the righteous indignation, dude.

Honestly, I was not here for Thomas' pearl-clutching. Yes, Bill committed a crime when he left Vinny lying dead on the street, but Thomas is no better, and it's a soap crime to ignore that bit of history. Steffy couldn't understand why Bill would try to bury the accident. Clearly the Taytots are forgetting that they and their parents did the exact same thing when Taylor made roadkill out of Darla.

These stories would resonate so much more if those in the writing room would just touch on these past moments. It's as easy as me touching on them here. Steffy and Thomas being conflicted because they were furious at Bill for doing the same thing their mother did would be great drama. I realize no soap can mine all of its history all the time and still move forward, but let's not pretend past episodes didn't happen.

Meanwhile, Hope came to see Liam in jail, gripping a manila envelope. I half expected Hope to deliver Liam divorce papers in it. But the documents were only drawings from Beth and Douglas, and a family photo. It was nice to see a jail! I'd been assuming for years that no B&B character ever does time for their crimes because the budget didn't allow for a prison set. Good to be proven wrong there.

Suddenly, Justin was there out of nowhere, but at least he addressed the question I had about why Liam wasn't out on bail. I'm really surprised Liam had to spend even one night in jail at all. I guess bail just hadn't been arranged yet. But, as glad as I was to see Justin, who became a contract player in 2018 only to never have a contract story, his presence elicited more head-scratching from me than anything else.

Isn't Justin a corporate lawyer? So, what's he doing playing defense attorney? That was up there with patent attorney Carter handling Will's custody case a few years back. I guess Carter and Justin got their additional law specialties from the same cereal box. Then Justin, hearing the deets of Bill's hit-and-run cover-up for the first time, realized why he had been asked to ship Bill's car halfway around the world.

And boom! Justin just disqualified himself from the case! In my opinion, anyway. As he's now an accessory, I would think that means both Liam and Bill now have to comb the phone book for new representation. Personally, I was disappointed not to see Bill behind bars. I've only been waiting for that since the Dollah tried to kill Amber in 2011 and bribed a warden to get Deacon out of jail in 2012. Give a guy something to work with over here!

Across town, Shauna was back at Forrester, yapping with Quinn about how she'd covered up Quinn's bedhopping with Carter by claiming the honor herself. But Shauna wasn't satisfied by Quinn's claim that Quinn only wanted to enjoy reconnecting with Eric. "All I hear is you're still thinking about Carter," Shauna sniffed. And all I hear is y'all mouthing off about this shizz at the very office you said you needed to stop mouthing off in!

I mean, seriously -- Eric was right across the hall! And even if the walls were thick enough to prevent the sound waves of Quinn and Shauna's open traps from seeping through, Carter was ready to send out sound waves at point-blank range. While Eric passed on the office gossip he said he wasn't into by reporting on Liam and Bill's imprisonment, Carter about put himself in shackles with his obviousness.

"You think you know a person," Carter sulked, adding, "You don't want to think your assumption is wrong." Eric couldn't understand what Carter was bleating on about. Eric implied that he already knew what was bothering Carter, although Eric was never clear about what he apparently already knew. "I don't know who told you..." Carter began to say. But Eric assured Carter there was nothing for Carter to be ashamed of.

Carter was about to tell all when Zoe sauntered in! So, I guess, as the Madonna song goes, Carter will have to die another day. But will Eric really be all that mad when he finds out his beloved wife got a piece of Carter? If Eric could forgive his own son for swapping spit with Quinn, surely Eric won't have a problem with a non-relative doing more with her.

Besides, when you think about it, the problem here isn't Ridge or Carter. It's Quinn. Sure, you could say she acted out of neediness when Eric wouldn't touch her, but there was nothing wrong with Queric's marriage when Quinn smashed lips with Ridge. I think Carter will emerge from this all right. Even if Eric doesn't end up being understanding, Carter can open a law firm with Justin. Barber & Walton, Ltd.!

Back in the design office, there wasn't enough Pepto in the world to stop Quinn and Shauna's diarrhea of the mouth. Is it just me, or are you guys tired of the soap staple that has characters freely discussing secrets in places they can be easily caught...only for them to get caught? I just think there have to be more original ways for secrets to leak out. It rarely happens any other way.

Case in point: Quinn just finished saying no one could ever know about Carter, only to see Eric walking in, wondering what no one could ever know about Carter! See what I mean? Shauna once again jumped in for Quinn, confirming the rumor Eric had heard about Carter having had a fling. Yep, Shauna was the one; Shauna laughed nervously. Not leaving it alone, Eric thought Shauna and Carter had to have had some sort of connection.

Why? It could have just been sex, and Eric is certainly worldly wise enough to realize that. What a silly contention. I also fail to understand why everyone keeps calling Carter's dalliance an affair. To everyone else's knowledge, Carter was single, wasn't cheating on anyone, and slept with someone who was also single. Or am I just associating the word "affair" with "cheating"?

I wish B&B would make this a deeper multigenerational story by factoring Eric's age into Quinn's actions. Not that Eric has to be impotent (even though he was already hitting the Viagra back in 2008 with Donna), but maybe Quinn keeps stepping out because she's uncomfortable being with someone so much older. Delving into Eric being elderly would be a great kind of full circle for a character we've watched since Day One.

Well, somehow, Paris and Flo got into a room together, and Paris decided she wanted to see Shauna. Flo was even more confused than her multi-patterned dress (which, even for me, who is more appreciative of the show's change in fashion than most of you, was a bit of an eyesore), wondering why Paris would want anything to do with her mother. But Paris kept at it, dropping leading comments Flo didn't catch.

Actually, I found it strangely novel that Flo had no idea what Paris was going on about. Finally, when Paris came right out and referenced Shauna's mattress squeaking with Carter, Flo couldn't believe it. The whole thing didn't make any sense to Flo, because her mom told her everything. It's true. The Fulton ladies have about as many boundaries as you can see between countries from space.

Paris must have picked up some detective skills during her now-absent time as a social worker, because she was on that scent like picking up someone's cheap cologne on a crowded subway car. Paris later told sister Zoe that it seemed odd Flo had such a hard time believing Shauna would have slept with Carter. Zoe just kept walking that tightrope between being blissed out over Carter and being bothered that Carter had dipped his, er, toe into someone else's pool.

But more about that later. As it happened, Shauna wandered into the backstage area, presumably to find Flo, and immediately got an earful from Flo about "how could you sleep with Carter and why didn't you tell me?" I dunno, but I never wanted to hear about my mom's sleeping habits, nor have I ever told her much about mine. With Paris shooting laser beams out of her eyes from across the room, Shauna confirmed to Flo that she had seen more than the lawyer's briefs.

Now, get this. And stay with me as I work through my befuddlement. After making her excuses to ditch Flo and Paris, Shauna ran straight to Quinn and fumed, "I lied to my daughter for you!" This after Shauna had previously told her bestie, "You know how I feel about lying." I'm sorry, but did Shauna have any problem with keeping Beth's existence a secret and/or demanding Flo do the same?

Again, layering would help here. Maybe Shauna actually learned from that incident and decided to tell lies nevermore. But that would indicate growth, and our soap's characters rarely ever experience that. Which is why Shauna's assertion made her sound hypocritical AF. "The one thing I said I would never do again!" Shauna wailed. Well, I don't remember that, but maybe I need to add back a point for the former Vegas resident.

Even more baffling, Quinn and Shauna proceeded to discourse about Quinn's romps with Carter at full volume, despite Eric having walked in on them just an hour or two before. And not only that, the BFFs went into every detail of the assignation as if they didn't already know them. That's called exposition, Scoopers, and there are only a few ways that can be written so it doesn't sound obvious. This scene wasn't one of them.

Not unexpectedly, Paris made her way to the CEO office (where you rarely see the co-CEOs anymore) and came upon the whole dirty mess. Shauna, despite having gotten "a great jacket out of it" (funny line, truthfully), had taken responsibility for Quinn, who had actually been the one to sleep with Carter! The news seemed to make Paris' hair even blonder as she took off with this vital piece of information.

It was Couples' Night on B&B, as Eric relaxed with Quinn over martinis (does anybody else get offended that Eric is sharing the ritual he had with Stephanie with anyone else?), and Carter prepared a special dinner for Zoe. Eric assured Quinn that he'd never stopped loving her and gave the jewelry maven a necklace that even she could appreciate.

But Quinn's necklace couldn't compare to the rock Carter put on Zoe's finger. Their engagement was back on! "Oh, YES!" Zoe exclaimed in agreement to Carter's proposal. Then, turning on a dime, Zoe followed up with, "But are you sure this is what you want?" Somehow, Zoe could not get over how Carter had ended up in bed with Shauna so fast.

Damn, girl, grow up! Even you keep saying Carter was single when it happened, and as for fast, y'all were broken up for months before Carter even attempted to move on without you. Zoe flipped the script again and deemed that the past had made her and Carter stronger. "We got through it," Zoe realized. So shut up about it already! Zoe is so mopey and dopey about Carter, it's really exasperating.

Carter had an interesting moment when he told Zoe they had been nave earlier on, I assume in regard to Carter rushing their relationship, and Zoe's infatuation with Zende. But Carter was also very insistent, telling Zoe he needed their reunion to work. Yeah, that's where Carter kind of ruined it, although this proposal was a step up from his first attempt with a smoke alarm blaring.

I don't believe Carter loves Zoe. I think he did but also that her interest in Zende killed it. Now, don't think that means I'm of a mind that Carter loves Quinn. Yeah, he keeps thinking about Eric's wife, but it ain't love. What Carter's intentions toward Zoe are is called desperation. He's only rebooting things with Zoe to muddy the waters about Quinn. He looks about as happy as if he'd stubbed his toe.

For that matter, I don't believe Zoe loves Carter, either. Maybe, just maybe, I could believe Carter's fast moves scared Zoe to the point that thirsting over Zende was easier. But Zoe only started wanting Carter when she thought she was going to lose him. And all her professions of love after that seemed more of a fear of abandonment to me than anything else. I guess we're not supposed to root for Zarter, and that's just as well. There are absolutely zero sparks between them now.

Shauna oddly stuck around Forrester, leaving a message on Flo's voicemail. Shauna couldn't have done that from her car? Even stranger, Shauna stuck to her story about Carter in her message instead of clearing things up. "If I thought it was going to go anywhere, I would have," Shauna stated, in terms of not having told Flo about her "thing" with Carter. Which was rather a sensible excuse.

Again, you'd think Shauna would have reassured her daughter; that she didn't was strange. I think I would have liked Paris walking in on Shauna leaving Flo a truthful message instead of Shauna and Quinn flapping their jaws for Paris to overhear. And Paris had a few choice words for Shauna. At least it seemed she did, although Paris detoured around it like her GPS was stuck recalculating her route.

It took Shauna nearly walking out the door for Paris to finally snark that she knew Shauna hadn't been the woman in Carter's bed. It had been Quinn! Shauna initially tried to sidestep the accusation but finally copped to it. And Shauna wanted Paris to keep quiet about it. Shades of Shauna demanding Zoe shut up about Beth? If Paris doesn't, will Shauna tase her like she did with Zoe?

The next day, Shauna and Paris kept their cell phone providers busy, trying to reach Quinn and Zoe, respectively. Both of the latter ladies had put their phones on "do not disturb," because they were too busy getting disturbed by their men. Yes, Quinn was blissed out from having reconnected with Eric in the boudoir, and Zoe likewise was in the throes of afterglow, having consummated her re-engagement to Carter.

Both couples wanted to play hooky from work, but Zoe and Eric, separately, decided someone needed to bring home the bacon. Ironically, Zoe wanted to make wedding plans, but Carter was more coy in a reversal of their first engagement. And Quinn had never felt more hopeful about her marriage, which is Soap for "that ish is about to hit the fan right quick."

My example? Paris, who was rocking a Union Jack skirt. Was that a purposeful reference to the fact that the Buckingham sisters were raised in London? Well, Paris was looking for Zoe like Zoe should have been looking for her missing accent. (Has she really been putting on an American dialect through all her ups and downs?) Paris ran into Ridge, and for some reason determined he was the one she should fink to about Quinn.

And Paris paved the way for that, until Shauna, who supposedly rarely came by the office, showed up because she liked to see how Flo was doing. Shauna, your felonious daughter is not in kindergarten! You don't just pop into your kid's place of work like that. Though I guess Shauna's timing was fortuitous because she got there soon enough to block Paris' truth-telling.

Ridge knew Paris was unhappy about Carter and Shauna hooking up but came to Carter's defense. Carter and Zoe had been on a break, Ridge reminded everyone, and it was time to move on. And Shauna sure moved on Paris once Ridge left, escorting Paris into the design office. Shauna was mad that Paris had almost spilled the Lipton, and Paris scoffed that she didn't have to answer to Shauna. I do like Paris' spunk.

And what do you think happened as these two argued about keeping Quarter's secret? Zoe walked in, of course! Soooo predictable. Zoe sensed the tension but got Paris to back off by flashing her big ol' engagement ring. Shauna was no longer a threat. Paris' expression said otherwise, and she basically told Shauna to get the hell out so she could be alone with her sister. Shauna shot daggers at Paris as she exited.

Still at the Forrester mansion, Quinn had a busy morning in that she called Carter...so she could tell him that she and Eric had gotten busy the previous night? Did that just seem weird to you? It was kind of one thing before when Quarter was commiserating about their loneliness and frustration. Now it was just bizarre. Carter countered that he, too, had gotten sexed up thanks to Zoe. Who has conversations like these?

I do have to say Quinn seemed genuinely happy for Carter when he reported that his wedding to Zoe was back on. And Carter was not displeased that Quinn was working things out with Eric. This is what I mean when I say Carter and Quinn have not fallen in love. It was just sex. And maybe affection. Still, this is totally going to blow up in their faces, and Shauna arrived to let Quinn know that Paris was likely to light the bomb.

While Quinn got the bad news, Eric was giving Ridge and Carter the good news that he and Quinn had boffed. What the actual hell? It might be okay for Eric to tell Ridge that in private, because at least he's family, though, as I said before, I would not be one to tell my relatives about my sex life. But saying it in front of Carter? Weeeeeird! Especially since Eric, Ridge, and Carter seemed to be in the middle of a business meeting!

I know it was just done so Carter could look all guilty and deliver more cryptic comments to Eric, but the company is not Forrester "Free Love" Creations. Even when Salt-n-Pepa sang "Let's Talk About Sex," they didn't mean have that talk at work. It just seemed so inappropriate. These people should set aside a sex talk support group in the sauna after hours if they really need to get X-rated instead of having these chats on the clock.

Finally, Paris had gotten some alone time with her sis. She wanted to be happy for Zoe and her engagement, but she just couldn't be. Zoe, fresh off her sexy time with Carter, did a one-eighty and told Paris it was time to forget about Carter's fling with Shauna. Zoe just wanted to share her contentment with her sister, whom she finally felt close to, "despite all the things I put you through."

Yeah, and Paris doesn't even know that her sib gave her gas to ruin Paris' date with Zende! Ah, family. But Paris couldn't muster up the enthusiasm for her future brother-in-law, knowing he had porked her sister's new bestie, so Paris tried to prepare Zoe. There was something Zoe needed to know! Bill and Liam were still in jail! Just kidding -- but I did have to remind myself that story was still going on.

What do you make of it all, Scoopers? Should Thomas be making noise about Vinny's "murder" when Vinny wasn't murdered, and Thomas did the same thing to Emma that he's accusing Liam and Bill of doing? Is the soap device of having revealing conversations in unsuitable places getting old? Do Carter and Zoe really love each other? And should Eric aim his ire at Quinn when her nights with Carter come to light? Serve time in the Comments section below or the Soap Central message boards, or simply click here to submit feedback. Your comments could wind up in a future column!

At least Eric noted that the arrests of Bill and Liam had made the Los Angeles Times! Speaking of Eric, next week on Y&R, he's going to receive a visit...from Sally? I don't know why Sally would want to see Eric, or vice versa. Surely not for a recommendation after Sally stole from Forrester, and she and Eric had little to do with each other when Sally was on B&B. But, hey! It's a Y&R/B&B crossover, and those can be interesting, though I sure miss the punches those packed when Lauren and Sheila used to invade each other's turf in the '90s!

At any rate, the jig may be up for Quarter with help from Paris, and maybe one day, we'll find out why Vinny's death was touted as a murder mystery when, so far, it's been neither a murder nor a mystery. It just all means we'll have to keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold. And don't forget, protecting yourselves and others from a virus and getting vaccinated for it is always beautiful.Mike

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