Bill and Liam: You have the right to shut up and stop snitching on yourselves!

Liam and Bill have the right to remain silent but insist on exercising their right to remain stupid. As the only person in the world to seek punishment for an accident, Liam's need for martyrdom and Hope's family treason might cost the Spencers their patriarch and turn Spencer Publications into a rudderless ship in an ocean of hostile takeovers. Get the two scoops on why confession is good for the soul but hell on the flesh this week on The Bold and the Beautiful.

Last week, it was all about the tattletales, the telltale hearts, and the rattled tails in the Spencer family when, against Bill's advice, Hope and Liam wiggled on the floor in their blankets instead of using their time to develop a strategy to mitigate legal and criminal disaster for their entire family. It looks like when it's Hope and her kids versus Katie and her kid, Hope will commit family treason and throw her aunt and cousin under the bus to get Liam out of jail!

What Hope did by snitching on Bill was nothing short of family treason, and she did it for nothing. Bill beat her at the snitching game by snitching on himself first; plus, her tattling didn't help Liam, anyway, according to the police chief. Maybe before Hope puts herself and kids before Katie and Will, Hope should consult a lawyer to make sure it's even worth it to make the call. How will Liam feel to know Hope snitched on his dad to save him when Liam's intent was to save Bill?

Bill in cuffs wasn't a sight I thought I'd see again after his breakup with Quinn. But there he was, a shackled spectacle like King Kong, and we all know what happened to that predator. He went down for the love of a dame. Bill ain't that stupid, but he is going down for the love of his son and his son's family.

Bill and Hope each thought blaming Bill would get Liam out of jail, but Baker schooled the Spencer gang about the law. The law doesn't care about feelings. It doesn't care about family. It doesn't care about guilt or tears. It cares about convictions. So, instead of playing the blame game, the Spencers better start cooperating with each other, communicating, and forming a Spencer Voltron to fight these charges. That means calling in Wyatt and Justin.

It's about time Justin's name was finally mentioned on Friday -- after the blabbermouths had all snitched themselves into jail cells. Hopefully, Justin will enter and remind them of their rights -- you know, the ones Baker didn't bother to read to them until he cuffed them.

Baker is probably merely allowing the Spencer men their right to be idiots, but we'll get two scoops deep into the Spencers' actual rights, especially their right to shut up. We'll talk about Brooke's worst party idea ever and ponder for the millionth time why Ridge can't stop questioning Thomas about his feelings for Hope this week on The Bold and the Beautiful.

As misguided as Bill was in perpetrating a cover-up (and apparently, it was a damn good cover-up, since Deputy Chief Hot Dog and Detective Relish can't find any clues), Bill did it to protect his family. Bill did it to protect Liam's children and Liam's marriage. When Liam decided to try to take the blame for the cover-up himself, as pitiful as his attempt was, he was also doing it for the family -- the whole family, which includes Katie and Will.

Liam was wrong to state that Katie and Bill are still married; however, Liam wasn't wrong to want to protect Will. That's why I don't know what possessed Hope to hop up, call Baker, and snitch on Will's father just so Liam could go home from the county jail. Hope, that is not the Spencer way to do things. You bail out, not rat out.

I'm trying to think if I ever saw a Spencer turn a Spencer in to the police -- or even a Forrester. Y'all remind me, because I'm drawing a blank. In the meantime, you don't rat out family. That is insane, especially not family that was trying to help you. I'm downright ashamed that Hope was selfish enough to do that. I can't believe she was so dumb to do it without first asking a lawyer if doing so would free Liam. Impetuous and dumb. Not good, Hope. Not good.

If Bill hadn't already beaten Hope to the confession punch, she would have cost Will his father while his brother is also in jail. Hope is terrified of being alone and of Liam being in prison, so what does she do? She spreads the terror to Katie's household without even warning Katie about it first. I love Hope, but that was lowdown in my opinion, lowdown and dumb.

I don't know why Hope is acting so brain-deficient. Does she get that a Bill off shackles is a Bill that can move mountains, charges, and even judges? A free Bill can command armies to find Thomas and Brooke on a tiny island, so getting Liam out of jail would be child's play if Hope shuts up and trusts him. In fact, Bill already had Liam out of jail until they opened their mouths.

The time to confess was within 24 hours of the accident, not weeks after the crime. This far into the cover-up, it's too late to do anything but maintain the cover-up. Confessing now is like setting a course to fly to China but jumping out of the plane over Egypt. It's dumb, and it's costly. It's China or bust at this point. But no, Hope and Liam are hanging out of the plane over the pyramids, thinking something will save them, and Hope tries to drag Bill, the pilot, from the cockpit.

Hope should have at least called Liam a lawyer and consulted that lawyer before shooting her mouth off to the police. This isn't childhood, Hope, like when you and R.J. weren't punished at all for trying to burn down the house. It's not childhood, Liam, like when you felt guilty and confessed to eating the last vegan cookie. Prison is not like being grounded in your room, either.

If it hadn't been an accident, and if it were real life, I'd feel differently. It's a soap, so I have no shame in saying that the real crime I see right now is that Bill orchestrated the cover-up to keep Hope's husband from becoming another man's bitch in prison, but Hope repaid Bill by attempting to throw his sexy butt to the wolves, as well!

Before anyone says they're proud of Hope and Liam for doing the right thing, let me define what the right thing to do in this situation is -- it's exercising every legal right to the fullest extent of the law. That's what being innocent until proven guilty is all about, and our rights are there to protect us all during prosecution. Anyone who doesn't take advantage of them is a freaking idiot, whether guilty or innocent.

Hope, Bill, and Liam learned the hard way that the law doesn't care about your guilt or innocence. It doesn't care about why you didn't obey the law. All that matters is you didn't. It also doesn't care about helping you exercise your rights, as evident in the fact that Baker didn't run to retrieve Liam a phone when Liam said no more questions without his lawyer.

In fact, Baker continued to ask questions at a different time because Liam didn't precisely ask to call a lawyer. While I think this violates Liam's rights, Liam has no idea that it does or not because he didn't bother consulting Justin or Carter before making the biggest decision of his life -- to turn himself in on a hit-and-run with possible murder charges.

So, let's be clear about Liam and Bill's rights, specifically the ones they should be invoking but seem to have forgotten all about:

You have the right to shut up. At no time are you required to confess or incriminate yourself. Even without a lawyer, you have the right to sit there in silence, no matter what the police say or how close they get in your face. You aren't even required to turn yourself in unless there is a warrant for your arrest. So, Liam, Hope, and Bill have been quite helpful, indeed, to the police who had no evidence or case against them at all before everyone opened their mouths.

Speaking of opening your mouth, the police must also inform you of your rights before you talk. Baker didn't inform Liam of his rights until he was booked, and I haven't seen Bill get read his rights yet. Also, always assume the room you are in is somehow wired for recordings. Never have those little conversations in there that Liam, Hope, and Bill had.

You have the right to force them to make their case. Do not hand the D.A. his case. It's the State's job to prove you are guilty. Liam feels guilty for killing someone by accident. If the law doesn't find that he murdered Vinny, the guilt for taking a life doesn't go away. Likewise, Liam will feel guilty in prison if they do find that he murdered Vinny. So, unburdening oneself to the cops is not the way to relieve one's conscience. Get a therapist. Take up yoga. Find God. Reach Nirvana. Don't confess.

Liam had a duty to report the accident, but he doesn't have to reveal that he knew he hit a human. Unless there's a warrant, Liam is not required by law to produce the car, the phone, or the wallet. In fact, Baker was only fishing when asking Liam about the phone and wallet. The police have no way in hell of knowing whether Vinny had those items on him at all that night, let alone whether Liam took them! Someone could have robbed Vinny's dead body, for all the police know. So, don't do anything to help the police make their case.

For example, if the police can't prove what car Liam was driving, how can they prove a hit-and-run? Don't be the dummy who tells the police what car it was and where it is if they don't already know. Did you hear Hope? She was making up stories to Brooke about where the car was when Brooke asked her. Hope said it was probably somewhere in parts. Don't do that when talking to police. Don't guess. Don't make up things to be helpful because they will be used against you in court. Geez, the more I think about it, the more I think Hope might turn out to be Liam and Bill's freaking worst enemy rather than a help on this case.

You have the right to call Justin, Carter, or both! Any other time, Bill won't take two steps into legal manure without Justin. But now, Bill has stepped in it twice with no Justin in sight. Justin, who's used to cleaning up stuff like this, should have been brought in from day one. Liam's gonna have to call Carter because Bill has dibs on Justin, but I gotta warn them, Carter isn't going to operate the same way Justin does. I advise Bill to keep his case separate from Liam's because Bill can't trust that blabbermouth Hope, who tried to get him arrested.

Liam should have walked into the station with Carter, who would have spoken for Liam, gotten Liam processed, and probably gotten Liam out on bond that same day. Justin and Carter also have the power to shape the charges the D.A. will file through negotiations with the State. I heard the best time to get an attorney is before one is charged, for this very reason.

A good lawyer can keep you from getting charged at all or can get you charged for less than what the police want to charge you for. A lawyer can also work plea deals that might get you off with probation, time served, or a minimal sentence. In other words, talk to a lawyer, not the police. And here's one last tip -- the defense attorney will not ask you if you did it. So, don't volunteer that information to him, either.

I'm not telling anybody not to talk to the police. In fact, none of this is legal advice. The only thing I consulted was Google for these tips. Just know that the police are not your advocates. They are there to catch you, and the D.A. is there to convict you. Excuses will not set you free, and I'm so glad Chief Baker finally told those entitled brats that. Anybody could have told Hope, Liam, and Bill that Liam is not some innocent victim of Bill's in a weeks-long cover-up.

Now we'll just wait to see how bad the fallout will be for the entire Spencer clan and their dynasty. I wonder if Karen Spencer will want to take control. Does Katie still have the one percent stock that she can vote either with Karen or Bill? The last time Spencer was in jeopardy, I think Justin and Wyatt vied for control of it. So, things are about to get interesting around there.

Brooke has been on a party tear, looking to celebrate Liam and Hope's re-consummation of their marriage. Just when we thought things couldn't get more "eww" than a happy copulation party, Ridge announces that Steffy and Finn are having a boy, and Brooke suggests that they combine celebrations to mark the occasions. Yes, Brooke, just what your daughter wants -- her husband's one-night mistress at her marital reconciliation party!

Let's get this straight. Brooke wants to combine a celebration of Hope forgiving Liam's infidelity with a celebration of the sex of the child who luckily wasn't a product of that infidelity. Yeah, no. Don't. What would Brooke even use as a theme? Baby booties, strips of reminder condoms hung with care, shredded separation papers as confetti, and a cake for Finn that says, "the doggone boy is mine?" Yes, and play Michael Jackson's "The Girl Is Mine" just for emphasis that Finn won that round. The only worse party Brooke could throw is a conjugal visit celebration down at the jail.

I like Brooke's other idea much better. I say spa tickets all around. Liam will need it after sleeping on rock mattresses in jail. I'll certainly need it to get rid of all the stress knots Liam and Bill have driven up my back lately with their storyline. And when I arrive at that spa, I better not see Brooke and Ridge running around there naked, as Ridge fantasized about doing.

Ridge will probably change his mind about the nudity once he realizes Bill will be in attendance. Did anyone else sense that Ridge is a little jelly about Brooke talking to Bill lately? Brooke had better pick up on it quickly before she winds up with another divorce on her hands. Ridge leaves her often when he's jealous of her communicating with an ex, like her texting with Deacon.

Oh, let's not forget to invite Thomas to the spa. He needs to relax and get away from his grief about Vinny and from the incessant questions about his feelings for Hope.

Or so he says. And even if Thomas isn't over Hope, asking him about it every five seconds won't change his answer, Ridge. Thomas will always say he wants what Hope wants. What he won't say, though, is that he's waiting for the day that what Hope wants is him. That theory might be put to the test when Thomas learns that Liam turned himself in for the hit-and-run.

Will Thomas wait for Hope to turn to him, or will he decide that, in death, Vinny succeeded in giving Thomas the chance with Hope that Vinny thought the paternity-test tampering would deliver? Think of it, Thomas. Your buddy's death won't be in vain if you get to be with Hope while Liam is in the slammer.

Thomas could pursue Hope while Liam is in jail, or Thomas could refrain, thereby proving definitively that he is genuine in his feelings of friendship toward Hope. We'll soon see.

Thomas might claim he's over Hope, but what he isn't over is Vinny. Thomas talks about Vinny as if Thomas is a lovelorn boyfriend. He even had a reminder of their once-a-month "Dudes Night Out" chime on his phone. Thomas keeps getting little prompts like that and seeing pictures on social media that remind him of Vinny. If Thomas felt that way about it, I want to know why he blocked Vinny on his phone. Was his monthly reminder of Dude Night just Thomas' way of hanging on, or what?

Thomas keeps saying he's going to find the person who killed Vinny and exact justice. Well, Thomas, that answer is now just a phone call away, even if justice might not be. The best way Thomas might help that along isn't by going after Liam, but probably by taking another jog up that hill Douglas called a mountain. You know, that one Thomas said he and Douglas hiked at the Mulholland turnout, a place that might be where Bill dumped the wallet and phone.

My curiosity piqued when Thomas and Douglas brought up that little trip, but we'll have to stay tuned to see just where that tidbit leads. Thomas might possibly be the one to find a clue to save Liam, and if Thomas chooses to act on it, it would certainly remove any doubt that he does want Hope to have what she wants -- even if it's that idiot Liam.

There was one more peculiar thing about Ridge and Thomas' repetitive conversation that is worth mentioning. Thomas told his father that Liam could start up the waffle game with Hope and Steffy again. In response, Ridge said, "When he does, you'll be there for Hope, right?"

Ridge spoke as if it were a foregone conclusion that Liam would do it. It amazed me that, for a man who wants people to believe his son has changed, Ridge won't give the benefit of the doubt to Liam. What's even more fascinating to me is that Ridge didn't say it would never happen because Steffy, in love with Finn, would shut Liam down. No, Ridge didn't say that at all. Because Ridge probably knows what we all do -- Steffy would cheat on Finn again in a Los Angeles nanosecond if Liam did waffle again.

Upcoming spoilers and promos indicate that Carter's unbearable guilt will rear its head when he's working with Eric. Paris is shocked to overhear Shauna and Quinn talking about Quinn's night with Carter. This sounds like another story of the telltale heart, and Paris better telltale tell it to Zoe immediately.

Liam's confession gets Thomas' wheels turning. Hope asks Justin to help Liam - because, of course, she's not thinking about helping Bill or his kid, but only herself and hers. In fact, is Hope even thinking of Kelly? Cause someone needs to tell Steffy that Kelly's daddy and granddaddy are about to be convicts.

Someone should alert Wyatt of that, too. He's been puzzled about this and his bathtub for a while now. And we know Wyatt won't check the news. Bill is Wyatt's source for Vinny news. Wyatt's hair will shoot straight up in horror and never come down once he learns that Bill and Liam are in jail.

By the way, Darin Brooks (Wyatt), don't think I didn't notice how handsome you looked in that black suit this week. I noticed. I think we all noticed. Congrats on your Emmy nomination, too! [EDITOR'S NOTE: You can read Soap Central's interview with Darin about his Daytime Emmy nomination here.]

Thanks for getting two scoops deep with me this week. Please put all your comments in the comments section below. We'd love to know what you thought about these bungling, lawyerless confessions. Until we scoop again, just remember, your right to remain silent is bold and beautiful, baby!Chanel

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