No passing "Go" for Felony Flo

Zoe continued trying to get Carter to roll the dice on her again, but the Logans bet it all on a relative when there was only a 52% chance of winning! Make your move with Two Scoops Mike!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you hope a shimmery dress would help your ex's heart catch the light? When it comes to being questioned, did you prove you're great at dodgeball? Did you hit the jackpot with the family you betrayed? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer-Walton-Buckingham-Finnegan clan this week!

Talk about going with the Flo, Scoopers! Huey Lewis sang about making a bad one good and a wrong one right, but B&B is going out of its way to canonize a character that has very few fans. Is no one in the writing room taking the hint? Meanwhile, Thomas is wondering if his BFF is using his post-Pierson Fod playbook, and Zoe is letting it all hang out trying to win Carter back. Y'all ready? Let's Scoop about it!READING RAILROAD

So, Thomas put the screws to Vinny and his sudden beard about whether or not Vinny had tampered with Steffy's paternity test to make it seem like Liam, and not Finn, was the father of her baby. Vinny didn't give a definitive answer one way or the other (a common gimmick on the show these days), but when the subject of Finn came up, Vinny's new bristles stood on edge.

Vinny had a chip on his shoulder the size of a melting ice floe in Antarctica as he whined about how everyone at the hospital drooled over Finn while Vinny was considered lower than yesterday's syringes. Why the 'tude, dude? It just seems weird for Vinny to have so much against Finn when we haven't really even seen them interact. "I ran the damn test," Vinny admitted, though that's as far as he'd go.

Thomas didn't press the matter further; he only said he'd never forgive Vinny if the new lab tech had fudged the test. Gee, Thomas didn't seem to mind when Vinny sold him some kind of horny pill to drug Liam with. At any rate, over at the hospital, Finn was with Steffy, watching her have what I'd guess was her first ultrasound with this new baby. Finn couldn't get enough and couldn't wait to meet the kid.

Steffy was happy, too; she just wished that the baby really was Finn's. Finn decided to take a moment while in his workplace to see if some test results had come in...and ran into Vinny in the lab. This made me wonder what Vinny's problem is even more. Finn was super friendly to Vinny, remembering his name and everything. Yet Vinny still acted like Finn thought he was no better than old gum under his shoe.

I would appreciate it if it turned out Vinny was a red herring in all this. Because if Vinny actually did tamper with Steffy's test, things are already far too on-the-nose about it. Of course, there has been some speculation that Finn changed the results, which doesn't track for me. You'd think Finn would want the test to read that he was the father, not Liam. And I really don't want Finn to turn into another B&B bad boy.

There's also been some murmuring among fans that Vinny and Finn are related somehow. That Vinny and/or Finn have Shauna and/or Bill as parents. I don't see much evidence of any of those scenarios, though you know how soaps can change things up. You know who wouldn't surprise me as a mama of Vinny's? Sheila! After all, she is the master of changing paternity tests.

Not that that would jibe with history; the whole reason Sheila went nuts was because she lost Scott Grainger's baby on Y&R, long before she came to L.A. And as far as I'm concerned, only Mary/Erica is Sheila's legit child. Diana, the baby Sheila dangled in front of Massimo as his, could have been nothing more than a human shield, and I never did believe that Sheila suddenly had two grown kids in Genoa City.

Anyway, Finn was nothing but cordial toward Vinny, but toward the end of their dealings about the lab results Vinny didn't yet have for Finn, Finn pinged. His whole face said, "What's the deal with this guy?" Other than Vinny's piss-poor attitude, I don't know where Finn would get much of any impression at all. But it does seem to indicate that there's more to Vinny and Finn than we've seen so far.

PARK PLACE

After interacting with Zoe and a new Forrester employee I'm going to have to make myself write about, Zende decided Paris needed some R&R. At least, unlike many of the soap's Romeos, Zende actually checked to see that Paris' schedule was clear for the rest of the day. Now that's considerate. And if he ever had any interest in older sister Zoe, you'd never know it. Zende was Team Paris, all day and all night.

Zende had a surprise for Paris, and -- surprise! The Z-man took Paris home to the Forrester mansion. Not exactly the wining and dining throughout L.A. he made things sound like, but hey, COVID, and also limiting sets to save money. And COVID. Paris couldn't get enough of the place. For me, it was nice to see B&B's main set again, even if I only remembered Quinn was still on the show because of her portrait.

Zende went on a little too long about how pretty Paris is for my comfort level, but he did seem to be quite interested in her beyond that. He was having a catered meal brought in for them, and how about this -- Zende actually designed a dress for her. And THAT DRESS, THO! It may have been the most sumptuous blue I've ever seen, and we even got a little fashion show finally as Paris modeled the gown for its creator.

Zende toasted Paris with bubbly and promised her more surprises. I have to admit, now that we don't have this foolery about Zoe between them, I'm beginning to like the idea of Zaris (Pende?). But there's one more surprise Zende still needs to deal with -- Nicole. Are she and Zende actually divorced? What broke them up? I don't know why it's so hard to fill in that simple piece of backstory. Zende can't move forward without it.

WATER WORKS

Ridge decided to check in on Carter and see where he stood about not wearing suits to the office anymore. Just kidding -- Ridge wanted to see where Carter was about Zoe. Carter didn't know. He wasn't sure he trusted Zoe enough to take her back. When Ridge said the ball was in Carter's court, Carter asked how that could be, because "I ended it." I'm glad somebody remembered. The Buckingham sisters sure didn't.

Paris had said Zoe was still "technically" engaged to Carter. Why? Because Carter didn't demand the ring back? It was over, Carter had said. That's not "technically" still engaged. And Zoe bleated on about convincing Carter not to end their engagement. What part of ya burnt didn't you get, Zoe? That's like characters acting as if Bill and Katie are still married when they never had another ceremony.

Well, he's a brick...house, and Carter stood like one as Zoe remained stuck on the same broken record of apologies she was on four weeks ago. Zoe really was sure she wanted Carter now, because she had gotten a taste of what it was like to lose him. What kind of rationale is that? All that sounds like is that Zoe doesn't want to be alone. I don't think I believe her when she says all she wants is a future with Carter.

Undeterred, and fresh off of Paris' suggestion that Zoe show Carter how much he means to Zoe instead of just saying it, Zoe let herself into Carter's loft. Okay, wait -- so Carter didn't take back the ring or the key? Either those are two big oversights, or Carter isn't as firm about breakups as I thought he was. Carter came home to find not only candles lit, but Zoe's dress.

I know some of y'all complain about the wardrobe on the show lately, but it does take place in the fashion industry, and Zoe was a slave to fashion in her gleaming green dress, which showed Carter at least two reasons he should get back together with her. I mean, J Lo would have been jealous of that cut. But as gorgeous as Zoe looked, it brings up another question. How is that supposed to show Carter her intentions?

I mean, besides the obvious, and I honestly don't think that's what Zoe was going for here. Instead of seduction, Zoe wanted a chance at reconnection. She insisted that she never would have agreed to the engagement if she hadn't loved Carter. Then Zoe kind of rehashed all the same stuff about feeling rushed and having been gun-shy after the flops with the other men in her life.

I mean, I'm glad Zoe mentioned how she'd been messed up by Reese. A little bit of revisionist history regarding Xander, though -- Xander didn't just leave; he left because Zoe insisted on continuing to keep Beth's existence a secret, even after Emma died because of that secret. And yes, Thomas' switch-a-bride at Zoe's wedding to him would be enough to make anyone run for the hills. It's just too bad it wasn't the first time we were hearing this.

The better history lesson was Carter revealing how he had convinced himself that marriage wasn't for him in recent years, that "the one time I was engaged," it had taken him a while to recover. And Brooke, talking to Ridge, reminded us that that fiance had been Maya! Considering that was seven years ago, that was a good mention. (Hey, Maya, we still don't know why you and Rick got divorced...)

Rebuffing the idea that Zoe had merely been wanting to trade up Carter for Zende, Zoe kept begging for forgiveness to the point Carter looked like he was going to break. Should he? I don't know how I feel about it. Zoe's words still seem hollow to me. Am I just being overprotective of Carter, maybe? Hey, Donna's still available, you know. And they did put Carter and Flo in the same room suddenly. Speaking of whom...

CHANCE CARD

Oops, gotta back up a little first. Dollar Bill walked into a conclave between the Logan sisters, interrupting to plead his case to Katie. Again. Oh, come on. I'm sorry, I don't care how extra yummy Bill seemed to look this week. I, and therefore Katie, have heard these apologies about seven million times. Sure, Bill is sorry. Because he got caught. Again. Are you seeing why I'm not about this?

Brooke had proclaimed that Bill was the love of Katie's life, and Donna had said that Katie already knew the answer as to whether or not Katie could trust Bill again, because Katie hadn't moved on from him. Has Donna ever thought that's because there's no one left on the canvas for Katie to move on with? I still think Katie should have dated that hunky therapist she had, played by Chris McKenna. I would have!

Bill proposed that maybe he, Katie, and Will could all go out to dinner together. Has Will not spent time with both his parents in all these months? Katie then admitted that she loved Bill. But I hope it stops there. You can still love someone and not be fool enough to reunite with them again. Personally, seeing Bill and Shauna together so much this week was giving me ideas. They've boffed before! (Where has Shauna been for months? Vegas? Does she just fly in to talk to Flo?)

GET OUT OF JAIL FREE

For some reason, Wyatt suddenly decided that Flo needed to connect with her father's relatives, the Logans. Wyatt managed to convince Katie of it, and suddenly, it was like we were back in 2019. Flo had donated a kidney to Katie out of the goodness of her angelic heart; were Brooke, Donna, Hope, and the rest ever going to forgive Flo for her part in the illegal adoption of Beth?

Look, I'm just gonna say it. If you're a Flo fan, raise your hand. It's okay; no judgments here. What's that I'm hearing? Crickets? I thought so. And that exemplifies the whole thing. There are few, if any of us, who like Flo. Usually when a character gets up to shady dealings like accepting money to fake an adoption and keeping quiet about it for months, they get written off after they get snagged.

Not Felony Flo. It's nothing against portrayer Katrina Bowden, whom I like, but Flo could donate every organ she has to Katie, and it still wouldn't make me like her. Yes, Flo has apologized seven ways to Sunday, done jail time (for five minutes), given away a kidney, and even gotten kidnapped as a way to try to even the score. I'm just not feeling it. I don't think many viewers are.

Katie invited Flo over to Forrester for more mea culpas with Brooke and Donna. La Logan seemed to be the lone holdout (was I sensing Stephanie in her hard-line stance?), but eventually, she agreed to at least try to accept Flo into the Logan family. After all, it's what Storm would have wanted. That just goes back to the beginning of the whole problem I have with that development!

I hope you like coin tosses, because ultimately, those are the chances of Flo actually being Storm's daughter. That's right, when Wyatt and Flo were sniffing around to find her progenitor, they went on some ancestry web site where you send them a swab of DNA...and it revealed there was a 52% chance that Storm was Flo's father. FIFTY. TWO. PERCENT! Those are basically half-and-half odds!

Flo herself wouldn't have encouraged odds like that when she was a croupier in Vegas! Yet Brooke and her sisters are all acting like this one site was as accurate...as Steffy's paternity test. If they really wanted to embrace Flo, the first thing they should have done is insist Flo have a legit DNA test done. Make sure Storm really was Flo's father before hailing Flo a Logan in Storm's name.

And let's not forget, it turns out Storm was no angel, either: toward the end of his life, he went nuts and shot Stephanie, only to frame his own father for it. Then he stalked crush Ashley Abbott and brought a gun to the party, accidentally shooting Katie in the chest when she tried to take it away from him. Hmm. I'm beginning to see some similarities...maybe Flo is Storm's girl, after all.

Now, there's been some ruminating, even here on Soap Central, that Storm might still be alive somewhere, somehow. Please, soap gods, do not listen to these kinds of suppositions. I admit, it wouldn't be impossible to undo Storm's death, but let's just leave Stormy where he is, okay?

If Storm's not dead, then whose heart is beating in Katie's no-surgery-scar chest? Or did Katie really get Storm's, which would mean Storm would have had to get a new heart, too? Surely siblings are taught to share their toys, not their anti-rejection medication. And Storm's death was one of the most gut-wrenching scenes on the show. How much it would cheapen things to suddenly undo it.

Flo reported the acceptance from her dad's sisters to Wyatt and admitted her face was hurting from smiling so much. Question: would Wyatt be busting his butt this much to make Flo happy if he knew Flo hadn't wasted a second in spilling Sally's secrets to Y&R's Summer Newman? I bet Wyatt doesn't have the first idea Flo did that.

I'm a little torn, because as much as I want to say Flo doesn't deserve to be this happy, I'm struck by the idea that people are entitled to second chances. I've been given a few. So, why don't I want Flo to have any? Is it because she still hasn't paid for her role in Beth's adoption? Why should that matter? No one ever pays for their crimes on this soap. Just ask Bill! Thomas! Taylor! Quinn! I mean, the list goes on. And on.

But Katie decided an olive branch wasn't a big enough gesture. There needed to be a paycheck, too. That's right, Katie managed to get Flo hired on at Forrester, helping both Katie and Paris out with PR. No one seemed to care how Hope (or Steffy) was going to feel about it, because Hope had learned how to work with both Thomas and Zoe. How funny was that when Flo and Zoe re-encountered each other? Stun gun, anyone?

I guess it will be interesting to see Flo crossing into Paris' orbit and seeing what happens with that. But Flo's hiring does make one wonder...how has she been getting by all this time? All she does is hang out in Bill's office, fawning over Wyatt. Is it possible Flo made the $50,000 she earned from Reese for pretending to be Beth's birth mother stretch this long, even in Los Angeles?

You wanna really redeem Flo in our eyes, B&B? Stop telling us how sorry she is. Stop forcing her on us and telling us we need to forgive her. Let's see it. Have her admit she took that money and maybe write a scene where Flo donates the first 50 grand she earns from Forrester to an organization that reunites parents with children. Or better yet: put it in a trust fund or college fund for Beth!

How about you, Scoopers? Is there anything Flo could possibly do to redeem herself to you? Do you think there really is some sort of connection between Finn and Vinny? Would you want to see Storm come back from the dead? Should Paris demand to know details of Zende's romantic past before she plunges into a relationship with him? And would Carter be better off forgetting Zoe and looking elsewhere for love? Reveal your properties in the Comments section below or the Soap Central message boards, or simply click here to submit feedback. Your comments could wind up in a future column! Like these!

"I am surprised how much I am enjoying the Carter/Zoe/Zende/Paris dust-up. My favorite was Zoe LITERALLY chasing Zende around Eric's coffee table. I don't think I've seen that since a Doris Day movie. I am enjoying Carter much more NOW that he is not playing the sap for Zoe." -- "evave2"

"Yes, yes, Liam is a low life scum bag and as stupid as a rock (just like Hope). But Hope has no right to be mad at him for giving up on their marriage. After all, she was the one who insisted on divorcing him when she thought Beth was dead. That was a terrible horrible thing to do to Liam. No one seems to remember that." -- Rob

Well, that's what I got for ya this week. Keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold. Plus, don't forget, protecting yourselves and others from a virus and getting vaccinated for it is always beautiful.

Mike(#missingshadow)

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