Put your love to the test

Steffy and her baby's prospective fathers waited to see what grade she would get on her paternity test, while Zoe flunked Fiancée 101! Go in for some remote learning and a special tribute with Two Scoops' Mike.

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you have to tear up all your wedding invitations? Did you suddenly appear just when a paternity test was being taken? Did you pregnancy shame an interloper without a hint of irony? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer-Walton-Buckingham clan this week!

'Tis I once again, Scoopers. I can't go on with this column until I mention that my lovely cat Shadow, who was here for every Two Scoops I've ever written (save the three months I attempted to move back to L.A. in 2016), crossed the Rainbow Bridge last week. I know many of you have been through this before, but it's a new one on me. It's a storyline-dictated exit I wasn't prepared for. It's not the same without her.

So, if I'm not my usual snarky self, you'll understand. Not that there isn't a lot to be snarky about on our show. Zoe got snagged fiending for Zende and is blaming Paris for it, while Steffy took the paternity test I thought she couldn't have for weeks yet, with pill-pusher Vinny suddenly lurking in the shadows. (Man, didn't plan that. See how easy it is to use that word?)

I am so hoping that this Leffy/Lope thing is just a little scare to ultimately cement things between Steffy and Finn, because personally, I think eleven years of that triangle is enough. As for Zoe, her threads are stylin' these days, but maybe if she had her British accent back, she'd be behaving more rationally where getting dumped by Carter is concerned. There's more where that came from. Let's Scoop about it.

YOU DON'T NEED DIAMOND RINGS

Carter was all happy, because, the night before, Zoe had gotten over her hesitation about setting a wedding date, and they had celebrated with more than a calendar. Eww! Y'all know Zoe was only horny because she had been grinding up on Zende before Ridge stopped her! I don't doubt Zoe actually has some feelings for Carter, but I don't think it's the love required to enter into a marriage.

Zoe, in her Valentine's Day-y Queen of Hearts ensemble, was more concerned with keeping her own head on than chopping anyone else's off. In a rare moment of truth, Zoe told Carter that she should have been focused on their future instead of on what-ifs. She then confidently declared to Zende, the object of her previous lust, that there was no question her future was with Carter.

Man, I hate to see Carter get played. I still remember when Maya likewise strung Carter along during their engagement because she still had the feels for Rick. Maybe that's why Carter only ever just officiates weddings, because he can't have one of his own. Well, he almost did, until BFF Ridge forced himself to drop the bomb that Zoe had been making moves on Zende and wanted a test drive before leaving the lot.

Much was made of Ridge and Carter being best friends. And you know, even though we don't get to see that a lot, best friends they actually are. This goes back to at least 2015, when Carter tried to keep Ridge from quitting Forrester by spilling that Maya (unscrupulous Rick's unscrupulous mistress) was transgender. So, there's really a bond between these guys.

I don't remember Ridge having a long-term friend when Ronn Moss filled his designer shoes, so that the Dressmaker has a bestie is a joy to see. Carter thought otherwise, though, when he started to realize that Ridge wasn't just setting him up for another joke by reporting what he'd witnessed between Zoe and Zende. For a moment, Carter felt that Ridge was still sore at Zoe for keeping Beth's existence a secret.

But, no, Carter started to see the light. "I scared her," Ridge admitted, "so [Zoe] got there first." Carter realized why Zoe had suddenly become so gung-ho about the wedding, and it gave Lawrence Saint-Victor the rare chance to give Carter some range. It's definitely not every day Carter gets angry or sheds a tear. I can't believe Mr. Walton had to get done like that again after seven years of waiting for a bae.

When Zoe strolled in, all chipper about the upcoming nuptials, Carter rained on that parade real quick. He wanted to know why Zoe wanted to marry him. Zoe laundry listed her reasons, that Carter was kind... "And gullible?" Carter snorted. He announced that he knew about Zoe's interest in Zende and was shattered when Zoe didn't deny that she would have shagged Zende if Zende had wanted to go there.

Zoe insisted she cared about Carter and was proud of all he had accomplished. Carter surmised that Zoe had started showing interest in him after he got promoted to COO because that made him "Forrester adjacent." Carter accused Zoe of wanting to be a Forrester and only settling for him because Zende (a Forrester by adoption) was off the table. Carter also claimed Zoe wanted to marry Thomas for the same reason.

I actually don't know about that. Usually B&B's gold diggers are more obvious about their monetary and status aspirations than that. In Zoe's case, I'm inclined to go with her claim that she freaked out because Carter had moved so fast -- which he did. Before their meals from their first date had even digested, he was giving her the keys to his place. But I never really saw dollar signs in Zoe's eyes. Did you?

Still, if Zoe had wanted to leave her options open, she should have told Carter that from the jump. It doesn't matter that she only got Zende's "wait don't sleep with Carter" text months later. Zoe also would have helped her case more if she had reported to Carter that she had never even kissed Zende, much less anything else. Not that that fact made any of Zoe's behavior right.

Carter dumped Zoe, but somehow, I'm getting the feeling he won't have wounds to lick for too long. You see, Donna's been hanging around a lot lately. It was kind of the same thing when Carter showed up just as Zoe's engagement to Thomas was about to tank. We know these signs. Hey, Donna's been single ever since she and Justin broke up in 2011. Would you like to see a Donna/Carter pairing? Even if Carter is Donna's son's adoptive brother. That doesn't stop this family!

The next day, Zoe barged into the design office and demanded Paris cut off a Forrester Foundation call. Wouldn't the Foundation have its own office? Or its own building? Zoe's inconsiderateness didn't end there: the older Buckingham sister laid the blame for her torched engagement solely at the younger Buckingham sister's feet. Zoe would still be marrying Carter if Paris hadn't blabbed to Ridge about Zende!

Paris explained that wasn't the case, but even after that, Zoe sniffed that Paris had only joined the Foundation to be close to Zende. Isn't that exactly why Zoe didn't want Paris to take that job in the first place? In one breath, Zoe blamed Paris for ruining her life, then took responsibility for hurting Carter, then went back to blaming Paris. In fact, Zoe went one step further. She'd drawn up resignation papers for Paris!

I was really not about Paris crying that all she'd wanted was for her and Zoe to get along, especially in the face of Zoe being such a first-class bitch to her. So, I had to raise a glass when Paris finally smartened up and said she wasn't leaving, now or ever. Paris declared she wasn't going to let Zoe order her around anymore and ripped up the resignation papers, manila folder and all! Go on with your bad self, Paris!

I think Zoe is kind of done. Carter broke up with her, and crush Zende wants to explore things with Paris, not Zoe. So, what is there left for Zoe to do? She's been written very inconsistently all along, anyway. From stalker to secret-keeper to good girl to wandering-eye model...I don't know how you plot for Zoe going forward. Any of you guys have any of your own ideas?

YOU KNOW YOU KNOW YOU'VE GOT TO

Liam walked into Steffy's house, admittedly at her invitation, at least acknowledging that he should have knocked. (Ya think?) Steffy wanted Liam and Finn there to announce that she was taking her paternity test that day. Wait, I'm lost. Didn't Steffy's doctor just tell her that Steffy couldn't take the test for up to eight weeks yet? Now "today" was the earliest possible day she could do it?

Also, despite this being a reboot of My Two Dads, it's strange that Steffy didn't call Hope to the meeting, too, like last time. When Liam hinted that he'd accompany Steffy to her testing, Finn's feathers got ruffled, and Steffy said she wasn't doing any animosity between them. She was having the baby, and she needed a stress-free environment, as the doctor later reiterated.

Is Finn the most understanding boyfriend on earth, or what? Not only has he come to terms with the fact that Liam might have impregnated his girlfriend, but Finn took Steffy to the paternity test and took everything in stride. But I'm wary of one thing. Steffy said "Finn's the father" so much that my soap senses started tingling. It can only mean Finn's not. Or that we'll be led to believe he's not.

Pay attention to another clue. Dr. Campbell noted that "in some cases, there might not be enough fetal DNA in the bloodstream" when the sample is taken. That sounds to me like the paternity test results could come in false, even with its apparent 99% accuracy. The doc said Steffy was far enough along, but with a door open like that, I have to wonder.

BABY READY OR NOT

Can I just say I didn't realize how much I missed Brooke until I saw her this week? I know -- a lot of you probably didn't feel the same way. She was just a welcome, legacy break from the Leffy/Lope and Carter/Z's foolishness. It would be so nice to see Brooke in a new storyline that didn't involve fighting with Ridge or being affected by Bill's affections. We can't give this original character and actress something fresh?

Instead, Brooke fell into the old role of finding out that Hope was once again in a world of hurt because of Liam. Not that Brooke wasn't right that Steffy should have told Liam, "you don't got to go home but you got to get the hell out of here" when he came knocking post-mannequin. But when Brooke learned that Steffy was pregnant, she said that everything that was happening was Steffy's fault!

Is Brooke turning into Stephanie right before our very eyes? I think Liam's penis had more to do with everything that's happening. The guy simply can't keep it in his pants, and Brooke should know from guys with errant penises. This fact backfired on Brooke when she confronted Steffy, who popped off with, "I expected a little understanding coming from the woman who..." Tell it like it is, Steffy! Tell it like it is!

I'm trying to think of a single pregnancy Brooke had where she was absolutely sure of the father from the very beginning. Maybe when she had the miscarriage with Bill. I also didn't like Brooke pulling a 2012 and railing at Steffy for "what you did to my daughter." Steffy did consent to sex with Liam and is equally responsible for her pregnancy, but Brooke should be more sympathetic to Steffy's plight, considering.

Both Hope and Steffy had asked Brooke, separately, not to tell Ridge he was going to be a grandfather again. Steffy wanted to reveal that to Ridge herself, and she kept her word when she interrupted some number-crunching to spill all. Was it just me, or did Ridge get this look on his face like, "OMG I have totally lived this"? There were almost times he seemed amused, and he surely should see his past in Steffy's situation.

This came to the fore again when Ridge told Finn, "this is a tough position you're in." Would have been nice if the script had allowed words to match Ridge's facial expression, but I'll take what I can get. Ridge liked that Finn was sticking around. I wonder how Ridge will feel when he finds out Brooke knew about Steffy's pregnancy before him. I hope they don't end up splitting up over their kids again.

HE'LL BE BACK ON HIS KNEES TO EXPRESS HIMSELF

Liam came by the cabin to update Hope on Steffy taking the paternity test. Brooke later confirmed that Liam and Hope are still living together, which struck me as odd. As torn up as Hope is, she still wants Liam in the same house? They're sleeping in the same bed? Anyway, after continuously checking his phone for progress reports from Steffy, Liam went into his "forgive me" song and dance once again!

AAAHHHH! Enough! How many times do we have to hear that? And then Liam went so far as to say he'd robbed Hope! Nooooo! Not "robbed"! Although usually it's Bill or Steffy robbing Lope, not Liam himself. Much repetition ensued. Boiling it down, Hope said she still wanted a life with Liam, "but if the trust isn't there..." Indeed. Liam and Bill should cut a duet of their badgering Logan women for forgiveness. Such overkill.

Then, out of nowhere, Vinny and his COVID hair showed up at the Logan manse to see Thomas! And he had a pocketful of pills he thought would make Thomas feel better. Thankfully, Thomas rejected the tabs based on Steffy's recent addiction, but the sudden appearance of Vinny can't be good. Especially when Thomas got into the whole thing about Liam and Steffy with his bud.

Vinny said the quiet part out loud, commenting to Thomas, "Hope could finally be yours." And that's the part that worries me. As I've said for years, the fact that Thomas and Hope grew up stepsibs makes any potential pairing between them gross enough. But after everything Thomas did to Hope? Please don't tell me Vinny's here to jack up the paternity test. Besides, I repeat, the "fetal DNA" factor could do that by itself. We don't need Vinny for that.

Thomas and Liam had a conversation, of all things, and it was remarkably civil. "Do you think I'm enjoying this?" Liam was asked by his one-time "executioner." "In the past, I'd have come after you," Thomas calmly acknowledged. I have to admit, Liam was right when he reminded Thomas that the assumption had been Thomas would move back to his place once he'd recovered from his brain surgery.

But then, that wouldn't put Thomas near Hope, would it? Thomas continued cheering for Team Lope, though privately, Liam shared with Hope that he thought Thomas was just supporting them to make himself look good in Hope's eyes. At one point, Hope walked in on Liam's talk with Thomas, which led to the estranged couple discussing very personal things in front of Thomas, even after Thomas offered to leave.

Liam decided he had something to say, especially with Thomas there. Liam had realized there was no speech he could make to Hope to prove they wouldn't just end up in a similar situation all over again. Liam had to prove it with his actions, and he simply asked Hope to give him the chance to prove he was worthy of forgiveness. Too true, and if it keeps Liam from making broken record declarations, I'm down.

Hope wasn't sure she'd be able to move forward with Liam if it turned out Finn wasn't the father of Steffy's child. But Thomas urged forgiveness, relaying to Liam, "I can see how much you regret what you did, and I hope you can, too." Thomas reminded Hope that she was happiest when she was with Liam and the kids, then excused himself. I have to tell you, I'm still a bit dubious about Thomas' Zen attitude myself.

Finally, Steffy reinforced to Finn that she wanted her baby to be his and to have a life with him. Why do I have trouble believing it? I don't think it's anything to do with Liam; I just feel like COVID "robbed" us of truly watching Steffy's relationship with Finn grow. A lot had to happen off-screen, so their coupling doesn't carry the weight it ought to. But I hope it pans out. I don't really want to see Steffy with Liam again!

How about you, Scoopers? Would you rather Steffy's baby be Finn's, or Liam's? What do you think Vinny's presence means for the predicament? Do you think Zoe was really after Zende's Forrester status? Should a romantic door be opened for Carter and Donna? And would you like to see Brooke in a story that doesn't involve pregnancies, affairs, or being a mother hen? Mark down your answers inthe Comments section below or the Soap Central message boards, or simply click here to submit feedback. Your comments could wind up in a future column! Like these!

"I really feel for Carter. He deserves a good woman, one who really wants him. That is NOT Zoe, and I think he should give her the boot once he learns that she's been lusting for Zende. And I don't want her with Zende, either, I'd prefer he fall for Paris instead. I'd also like to know what happened with Zende and Nicole. The show still hasn't told us what happened with Rick and Maya, so i guess i shouldn't hold my breath waiting for this, either. Maybe they should try Carter with Katie...but let's let them be friends for a while. Carter should have learned to not rush into anything, as he did with Zoe." -- Christine

"I think there is no drama if the child is Finn's. I see the child being Liam's, Finn stays with Steffy but never gets 'full control' of 'their' family." -- "evave2"

"Carter should leave L.A. He is way too nice and gullible for that city." -- "Doreen2"

Last column, I announced a new interview with Lawrence Saint-Victor, which allowed the actor to tell us what's been going on in Carter's head. This time, explore what's making Zoe tick in this chat with her portrayer, Kiara Barnes as she tries to make sense out of Zoe's skeevy behavior!

And don't forget, this coming week, the one and only Dollar Bill travels to Genoa City in yet another crossover with Y&R! Wouldn't it be great if someone commented how much Bill looks like Brad Carlton? Let it be Jack. Let it be Jack!

That's all I've got for you for now. Keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold. Remember -- protecting yourselves and others from a virus and getting vaccinated for it is always beautiful. (I miss you, Shadow.)

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