Brooke Logan: The Valley girl you love to hate

Once upon a time, a college student from Sherman Oaks married (and married, and married) into the rich Forrester fashion dynasty, and the rest is steamy, scandalous history. Explore it all with Two Scoops' Mike as B&B revisits some of Brooke Logan's classic moments!

Will your week be bold and beautiful? Will you try a few weddings on for size? Will you discover your "destiny" has a new face? Will you roll around in bed with your sometime mother-in-law? These and more situations will once again face Brooke Logan this week!

Oh, yes, Scoopers! We know how you feel about one Brooke Logan Forrester Chambers Forrester Forrester Jones Forrester Marone Forrester Spencer Forrester! (And those are just her valid marriages.) B&B's original Valley girl either inspires intense devotion or hatred the likes of which most soaps can't even begin to generate. Not bad for a college girl turned chemistry whiz turned CEO!

And scandals? Oh, Brooke is the queen of them. Mostly because her tendency to "follow her heart" has often landed her in hot water and more than a few beds to match. But if hardhearted Gangsta Granny Stephanie herself could warm up to La Logan, she couldn't be all bad. Even with Brooke's latest oops-I-kissed-him-again violation on pause, is it too late for our Slut from the Valley to un-slut?

Whatever your feelings about Brooke, they're going to have new light shone on them as B&B's latest theme week covers five of Logan's iconic moments, dating all the way back to 1991. So, this seems the perfect time to hit the Wayback Machine and refresh ourselves on one of soaps' most polarizing characters. Favorites, foibles, and fallacies, Brooke Logan is beyond BeLieF! Ready? Let's Scoop about her!

Love her or hate her, Brooke Logan is B&B. And that's because Katherine Kelly Lang has walked in her shoes since the premiere episode in 1987! (By that yardstick, Eric Forrester/John McCook is B&B as well, for a similar reason.) Hard to believe that, 33 years ago, we first saw Brooke as a college student who was assaulted and nearly kidnapped by two "jerks!"

I know -- many, if not most, of you, can only think of Brooke as...well, a "HOgan," as some of you put it. Not that Brooke doesn't deserve a good chunk of such judgment. It's just that her SFTV (Slut from the Valley) ways only barely started when she married Eric. (I remind you, Eric had already had a relationship with Brooke's mom, Beth, and had filed for divorce from Stephanie before he moved on with Brooke. Brooke didn't really "steal" him.)

I suppose the real seduction got turned on after Ridge married Taylor the first time. Sauna sojourns, office picnics, coming up with the Men's Line just to be near Ridge? Yeah, that happened. Brooke's biggest attempt to lead Ridge into temptation came with the saucy Brooke's Bedroom lingerie line, the launch of which we will revisit on Tuesday. B&B doesn't get much more classic than that!

However, once Brooke orgasmically crossed the line with her daughter's husband Deacon, she seemed free to gallivant with apples not far from the family tree. Ridge's brothers? Check. Masked man? Check. Sister's spouse? Double check. Ain't enough White-Out in the world to fix Brooke's "mistakes." Really not her best look. And it's rather a shame she's been written into this particular corner so many times.

But Brooke's impact on the show does go beyond the carnal. She used her mad chemist skillz to create the revolutionary BeLieF formula, the patent fight for which put her in Forrester Creations' CEO seat. She could have tanked the company, given she had no business experience, but she started the Men's Line and Forrester International. Even Stephanie eventually admitted Brooke had a positive influence on the fashion house.

Brooke can be fiercely loyal to her family, except when she's not (usually having something to do with a relative's man). And though it's uncertain what she even does at Forrester these days, she's at least reduced the frequency of her disgraces, save her most recent kissing of Bill. Though I maintain, with how often Ridge was playing tonsil hockey with Shauna, this time, he had no room to balk!

Brooke often gets written off as a simpering, giggling, one-tear-on-cue anti-heroine, but, being front and center for over three decades, she sure has had some memorable moments. She really started to come into her own when she learned that Ridge and his family were trying to bilk her out of the BeLieF formula patent; who could forget when she turned the tables by taking over as CEO and getting into a slap-fest with Stephanie?

Soap characters rarely have visible friendships, so Brooke's camaraderie with Sheila was surprising, and surprisingly genuine. At least until Sheila went wacko and held everyone at gunpoint -- too bad Stephanie soon forgot Brooke was willing to take a bullet for her! Then there's Brooke's amnesiac foray into "brief reactive psychosis," which led her to Barbados with dolls she thought were her kids.

I loved that story! Anything that gives Brooke something new to do, I find myself enjoying. More recently, her replacing the company-restoring papers Bill tricked Katie into signing with leaves was unexpectedly poignant, as was Brooke heading off to Milan to "find herself" after dizzying dalliances with Bill and Deacon. It's a shame she didn't retain some of that perspective after she came back.

Of course, there was Brooke's decades-long battle with Taylor. Watching them fight over Ridge was fun at first, until they got stuck in broken-record mode. And the less said about them arguing over their children's relationships, the better. But there was always the feeling these women could have been friends had they not fallen for the same man, which the show did flirt with from time to time.

But no B&B feud can touch the war between Brooke and Stephanie. In the beginning, Brooke would lie down like a lamb over Stephanie's taunts and threats, but once Brooke came roaring back to stand up for herself, their skirmishes were golden. When words weren't enough, they brought smacks, bullets, and choking into the picture. My fave Brephanie bit was when Brooke pulled the plug on heart attack faker Steph and dared her to die! (See our Meddling Mothers Mother's Day column for more!)

So, when they laid their weapons aside, such as on Wednesday's rebroadcast of B&B's 5000th episode, or when Stephanie was first diagnosed with cancer, it made those times extra special. Debate still rages over whether Brooke should have been the one at Stephanie's side as she died, but, with their acrid history, it really was inevitable and allowed the discordant duo to make a peace that was absolutely necessary.

It's raining men! Hallelujah? Yes, Brooke Logan is as famous for her male companions as her native California is for (non-indigenous) palm trees. But she really started out rather tame. Her first months saw her engaged to police detective Dave Reed. She only set him free after she realized she was in love with Ridge. From then on, it was Ridge, Ridge, Ridge. And more Ridge.

Most of her side trips through other relationships were substitutes for Ridge, usually when he wasn't available. Eric was the first. I wasn't watching as intently during Beric, but the impression that I've gotten from such scenes was that the couple might have been just a little bit too May-December. Plus, it was apparent even then that Brooke had not fallen out of love with Ridge, to Eric's continuing chagrin.

However, 30 years later, I feel highly sentimental toward Beric. Again, because Lang and McCook are the only two original cast members we have left. If it were more practical, I would declare Beric endgame, but at this stage of their lives, that doesn't seem likely. Thankfully, Brooke and Eric have remained the best of friends, and I'd really like to see more scenes with them going forward while McCook is still in the credits.

The next major player was Thorne, but that cemented Brooke's place as a family-hopper, and Throoke never seemed to serve any purpose except for pissing Ridge and his parents off. Besides, Brooke was so easily tricked into admitting her heart would always be with Ridge that it invalidated any rooting value Throoke might have had. Thorne should be glad she brushed off his 2017 advances.

Deacon. Oh, Deacon. He and Brooke were so wrong, but Deacon was so hot, it was difficult (at least for me) to not feel jealous of her. From assistant Megan changing their sheets to their censor-bending moans, Brooke and Deacon were the definition of down and dirty. It would never have lasted, anyway, but, it was because of Breacon that Brooke officially earned her Slut from the Valley stripes.

Next, we have Popeye. With Nick, we saw mother-daughter team Brooke and Bridget sharing a second man. (We will see Brooke get her turn at matrimony with the sailor on Thursday.) Brick really attracted some hardcore shippers. Brooke actually deemed Nicky the love of her life! But I never bought that. They just seemed a weird fit to me. Even when Brooke fought Taylor for him, I always felt that she'd rather be with Ridge.

The last major contender is Bill. Brill was shady from the beginning, and therefore never warranted my interest. Katie might have pushed them together, but that didn't mean they had to "together." Plus, it was baffling that Brooke would get with a man whose main mission in life was to torment her daughter, Hope. I don't care how much of a "Stallion" he is. You don't do your family like that!

Brooke got around, but she rarely got with reprobates. Until Bill, that is. He nearly killed Ridge, dumping him out of a helicopter, and built a sex room in his office so he could cheat on Katie with Brooke; by the time he nearly crushed Liam and Sally under the rubble of Spectra Fashions, Brooke had had enough. So why she kissed him again in January, I don't know. Brill can't work.

Not to be forgotten are Brooke's asides: James; the temporary fiancé. Grant, whom she only married because she thought Ridge didn't take the bait and stop their wedding; Connor, the besotted lawyer who never stood a chance with her; Whip, whom she married to give Deacon's baby a name; Mask-boinkee Oliver, whom Brooke couldn't (ahem) "tell" wasn't Ridge; and Thomas, depending on whether you think they did the deed while hopped up on psychedelic berries.

I always like to know why characters are the way they are. Does Brooke's bed-hopping come from being abandoned by father Stephen as a child? Did her introductory near-rape push her into being a sexual object as a way of taking her power back? Alas, we may never know. I just hope Brooke works things out with Ridge and limits her steamy sexcapades to him. I mean, have you seen Thorsten Kaye? Inspiration for days!

B&B remains frozen in time right now because of the pandemic. But, in 33 years (save the brief recasts by Catherine Hickland and Sandra Ferguson, in 1987 and 1997, respectively), has Brooke Logan really done it all? I don't think so. In fact, there are lots of new directions we can go with her, and this break is the perfect time for the show to invent some.

If you've read my columns for any length of time, you know that I tend to go off on a rant about our soap. They should do this, they shouldn't do that. But it's never because I don't love B&B. It's because I do that I find it imperative to mention when it can do better. They have an outstanding cast to work with. That should fire up the imagination of any writer. Let's give our characters something different to play out!

Katherine Kelly Lang herself has said in interviews that she'd love to see Brooke again don her chemist's lab coat again. So would I! We're so used to seeing Brooke think with her heart (and other parts) that we forget she's actually pretty brainy, enough to innovate wrinkle-free formulas. How about a follow-up to BeLieF? Instead of men, she could devote her passion to a compound that would make all of Forrester's output truly stain-resistant.

I said this in 2013 when Brooke flirted with menopause, but how about fully going there and letting the highly sexual Logan come to terms with her changing body? Imagine the history that could be mined by her looking over her past behavior, and the peek into the future by her acknowledging that age is catching up with her? It doesn't mean she can't remain physically vital. But why not bring it around full circle?

And let's face it -- the real reason Quinn hates Brooke is because she knows Brooke is the real matriarch of the Forrester family, and Brooke doesn't have to be married to Eric to hold that title. So, let's see it. Instead of making "mistakes," what about Brooke gains wisdom and uses it to guide her extended flock of whirling dervishes. It's what Stephanie wanted. And it's the ultimate endgame for the character!

Can't remember all of Brooke's brassy broadmindedness? Go back to her first day with her comprehensive character profile. And, of course, revisit some of her classic scenes in this upcoming week's quintet of Brookecentric episodes. What Brooke moments had you getting all the feels, and which ones had you flinging your remote with rage? What other B&B denizens would you like to see a week devoted to? Purvey your picks in the Comments section below or the Soap Central message boards, or simply click here to submit feedback. Your comments could wind up in a future column! Like these!

"I think they should do 'best of' weeks, each featuring a different character for the week. Best of Stephanie, of course. Also, best of Sally 1.0, a best of Sheila. Best of Taylor. I am glad they are digging back into the vault for at least some of these classics, because I think most people agree that they'd rather see older shows as opposed to episode that are only three years old." -- Christine [AUTHOR'S NOTE: You predicted that one, Christine!]

"My idea for a theme week: biggest scandals. My five would be Adam/Eve (Liam/Quinn) and their making love, Brooke/Oliver mask boink, Pam terrorizing Donna escalating in the live bear & honey scene, Brooke/Thomas [on] Berry Island, and Liam's first let down of Hope -- the Amber pregnancy & ensuing baby birth paternity reveal (Marcus)." -- Darlene

"I would like to watch a theme week of Stephanie and Sally...like the episode when Sally gave Stephanie a haircut, this was hilarious! Or the one when Stephanie pushed Sally into the water or when Eric proposed to Sally...there was so much fun interaction between these two great ladies!" -- "Susannah_14_54"

Going back to our current theme, thanks, KKL, for all your years of boldness! While we're on legacy characters, and while production is still halted because of the coronavirus, I would like to see an Eric week. Yes, proposing to Sally to romance her out of presenting his stolen designs. Going full-on bearded badass with a crossbow in Greenland to subdue Rush. Running Deacon over with his car to avenge Bridget!

We're here for ya, Scoopin' about these classic episodes we get to see, so keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold. And remember: protecting your health (and the health of loved ones and strangers) by wearing a mask and physical distancing is always beautiful!

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