New Year's revolutions

Like the actual universe, infinite numbers of things can happen in the soap universe. Unless you're B&B, which seems to be stuck in a causality loop with Thomas continually providing the Big Bang. Get 2020 vision with Two Scoops' Mike!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you turn down a date to stare at a picture? Did you decide to grow a mustache so you could twirl it? Did you take "lather, rinse, repeat" too seriously? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer-Buckingham clan this week!

Ah, a new year has arrived, Scoopers! A chance for fresh starts! New horizons! For changing up the flow, for -- what's that you say? We're kicking off the 2020s by relaunching Leffy/Lope and rolling Thomas' bad behavior over into this year? Looks like the gravity that holds these worlds in place is pretty intense, and we may need a few well-placed photon torpedoes to break it. Let's Scoop about it!

LOOSE LIPS SINK SHIPS

Whatever apparent joviality happened over the off-screen holidays, Thomas had barely taken advantage of the 30% off calendar sales before he reverted to 2019 form, telling Liam he was looking into the eyes of his executioner and that Thomas would take Hope and Steffy to Liam's graveside! What the hell! That statement might be bold, but Thomas' never-ending reign of terror is far from beautiful.

And seriously -- how dumb do you have to be to threaten the life of your adversary when you're pretending you're working on yourself and you know the first thing said adversary will do is tell the tales of your taunting? Sheila lost her cool a few times with Stephanie in the '90s and slipped into menacing, but you rarely saw her say or do anything that would tip her well-manicured hand.

Just as even Thomas predicted, Liam ran straight to Hope and exposed the Tom-Tom. "Thomas swore he was working on himself!" Hope wailed. Wow, is any of this for real? How many times does Thomas have to pull crap on Hope before she gets it through her highlighted head that the guy isn't changing and, at this point, may be incapable of change?

Hope decided she needed to confront Thomas, which is always a good idea (not!). To give Hope some credit, she did put her foot down with Douglas' other co-parent as he tried to dish out some more of that steaming pile of horse manure that comes out of his mouth. "You're still trying to manipulate me," Hope declared. But that stance didn't last long, since Operation Manipulate was a full success!

Going back to my earlier point, why was Hope asking Thomas for the truth? The truth is as foreign to this Thomas as flip-flops are to a Forrester original. Did Hope really think she was going to get an honest answer from this dude? Worse, Thomas "confessed" he overreacted, saying he wanted Liam dead, but he wasn't going to take it back. Thomas was worried about the newly installed mother of his child!

This is the part where Hope should have walked out and asked Eric if he could design some straitjackets for Forrester's next line. Thomas said flat-out that the best thing for Douglas "is us"; this on top of Liam just having reported that Thomas admitted not being over Hope. What does Thomas have to do for Hope to get the message? Attempt kidnapping her in a helicopter? Oh, wait, he already did that.

For his part, Liam, who doesn't seem to have his own office at Spencer, relayed Thomas' death wish to Steffy, but didn't get as far as he hoped. "Am I the only one who sees what he's doing?" Liam wanted to know. Amen, brother. Though at least Steffy got it enough to rat Thomas out in front of Ridge after Douglas and Thomas came over for some Kelly time.

Despite lapping up Thomas' treacle enough to tell Hope her brother was a changed man, Steffy called Thomas on the carpet for threatening Liam, which even Ridge conceded "may not be the best way to show us" he had changed. Only one problem: why didn't Steffy get into specifics? If Ridge had heard about his son basically vowing to off Liam, the Dressmaker might finally have realized Thomas was mental.

Nope. Thomas was selling bulls**t, and Hope, Steffy, and Ridge were buying. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me 54 times, shame on me? Another person trading shares in Thomas Forrester's BS Company was Zoe, and that I truly don't understand. This girl knows from crazy. Whatever she did to Xander in London was so heavy, he ran to L.A. and changed his identity to get away from her!

In a sense, Zoe might be the perfect girl for Thomas -- after all, she stalked Hope herself, digitally anyway, in an effort to spook Emma and set Sally up to take the fall for it. But here's the issue: Zoe became Thomas' victim last year when he menacingly demanded she stay quiet about Beth being alive. Is that supposed to be a turn-on? Now, she can't get enough of the guy who wanted her to take a dirt nap.

I'm sorry, but if a guy did me like that, I would run, not walk, to the nearest exit. Zoe must be into masochism -- maybe she can borrow some S&M gear from Quinn? (I wonder if Quinn uses that stuff on Eric? And now I can't unsee that image.) Zoe having anything to do with Thomas, let alone kissing on him and hoping for a future, requires more suspension of disbelief than Passions used to.

TINKER, TAYLOR

I don't want to do Matthew Atkinson out of a job, it's just that I need Thomas gone. I'm even past the point of caring that he's a legacy character and that Ridge and Taylor have already lost one child and shouldn't lose another. Hmm. Taylor. I have not liked the once-dependable shrink for the better part of this millennium (thank the soap gods for '90s and early oughts Taylor on YouTube), but Taylor needs to be here now.

I know, Taylor beat Thomas to the crazy train when she came back acknowledging she had shot Bill, thinking he had violated Steffy. And yeah, Taylor's still in the credits, despite not making an appearance since last March or April, when she should have been front and center during the Phoebeth reveal to help Steffy pick up the pieces and feel mortified over her part in what turned out to be an illegal adoption.

But Taylor's long absence could work in our favor now. Because it's enough time for her to come back actually having gotten some real help -- not completely healed, maybe, but enough for more than a semblance of her old self to shine through again. Unlike Ridge of present, Taylor of olde would not miss the signs that her son isn't playing with a full deck. And she'd get him the help he really needs.

So, can we do that? I can't take any more of Thomas' shenanigans or Ridge's head in the sand. Let Taylor come back, be mentally healthy again, and catch Thomas in the act of something so she can take him away to the institution of your choice that's not on my screen. Or, perhaps, we can watch Thomas delving into his issues in the hospital! I still need to know why he cracked, and losing Caroline is a flimsy rationale.

MARRY ME A LITTLE

We've seen kind of an interesting reversal on the show the past six months or so. Normally, couples get together at lightning speed and say their "I do's" about as fast. Now, we get couplings and engagements without the slightest mention of a wedding date. First Katie and Bill. Then Wyatt and Sally. The most egregious example, of course, is Liam and Hope.

You'd have thought they'd hit Vegas as soon as Beth was home and Hope's annulment from Thomas was official. Not that I'm against lovebirds actually taking their time on our soap, but Liam not popping the question all these months became so glaring, even Thomas couldn't help but yank Liam's chain about it. Actually, Ridge commented on it this week, too. Which could only mean...

You got it! Liam busted out his IKEA-sized collection of ubiquitous candles and set the scene for Hope, who had just come home from tussling with Thomas. But they weren't going to talk about Thomas. Liam went all Barry White telling Hope how wonderful she was, then whipped out his...ring! What did you think I was talking about, Scoopers? But before Hope could accept, Liam rained on her parade big time.

Essentially, he was like, you get the ring when you boot Thomas off the Hope for the Future reboot and ditch the co-parenting thing you guys have with Douglas. That's harsh, I admit. Yet, I can see it. The first part, at least. It's not like Thomas is the only designer in the world. Hell, Amber's gotta be 40 now, but betcha she's still got a youthful enough spirit to give HFTF what it needs. If Hope can get past that whole Amber-getting-her-tainted-antianxiety-meds thing, of course.

The second part, undoing Hope's adoption of Douglas, I dunno. I'm not sure I see what Liam's idea of the entire family seeing to Douglas' welfare is supposed to look like. True, it's not like Hope is with the boy 24/7; he lives with Thomas. So maybe Liam's onto something. The one thing I do understand is Liam's motivation. "Please see Thomas for who he is," Liam begged. He was afraid Thomas' schemes were working.

You know it, brutha! Hope actually told Liam, regarding Thomas, "if you didn't go out of your way to provoke him...!" No wonder Liam pulled an ultimatum. The nuptial negotiations were interrupted, of course, by Thomas, who'd brought Douglas over to see Beth. As soon as Hope ushered "her" son into the nursery, Thomas went into his sucky villain schtick, baiting Liam into an argument.

Did he really think Hope couldn't hear him bare his fangs? That cabin isn't very big! And surely the walls aren't soundproof. Thomas rightly teased Liam about recycling wedding rings, then figured out that he was what was standing between Lope and their remarriage. Hope returned and blew off Thomas' desire to talk, claiming Douglas was tired (go Hope!). Alone again, Hope told Liam what she thought about his conditions.

"We wouldn't even have our family without Douglas," Hope insisted. "Don't ask me to choose between you and him!" Ooh, odds ain't lookin' too good, Liam. "What you're saying," Liam replied, "is that Thomas can violate boundaries with impunity" since "losing you is the one consequence you're not willing to enforce because he has Douglas." What can I tell ya? When Liam's right, he's right.

Announcing he couldn't be married to Hope and Thomas (what an interesting thought), Liam did his best Bobby Brown and said, "We out!" The next morning, Hope cried to Brooke, who deemed Thomas "a virus in the family" and got Hope to admit Thomas was manipulating her. If Hope knew that, why did she let Liam bail? She could have kept trying to work something out about Douglas instead of pushing Liam away.

PLAYING BRIDGE

Carter thanked Ridge for having him over to the nonexistent Forrester Christmas, and the two joked about Carter's nonexistent raise. Too bad they can't acknowledge Carter's nonexistent storyline! But I have to say, the friendship between Ridge and Carter is awesome. It's years long, rare for this soap, and I need to see more of it. After stopping in on Steffy to ship Thomas, Ridge paid a visit to his Logan.

They did a little dance, first with Brooke hipping Ridge to Liam proposing to Hope and insisting Thomas was keeping Lope apart. Step to the left: Brooke says she doesn't want to talk about anything. Step to the right: Ridge agrees he wants to be home. Step forward: Bridge agrees their kids shouldn't come between them. Step back: Brooke vents that Thomas was the only reason she and Ridge weren't together.

That's the thing -- Thomas has two couples by the balls, still, and it's really tiresome. Brooke, who I understand not wanting to forgive Thomas, might have been smarter to stick with Ridge, not only for the sake of her marriage but to keep Thomas from getting what he wanted and keep a closer eye on him in the bargain. I'm not saying Brooke was wrong; Ridge is being a dupe. She's just helping Thomas to win.

Brooke wasn't buying the Thomas/Zoe romance, either, among other things, and pointed out to Ridge she wasn't the only one who had Thomas' number. "So, now you and Liam agree on things," Ridge scoffed. It's true -- Brooke and Liam are the only ones not getting pulled into Thomas' vortex of villainy. Why aren't they working together to expose Thomas? Just record Tom saying ish, and you're done!

Or -- and this is diabolical -- what if a romantic spark went off between Brooke and Liam while they teamed up against Thomas? I know that's so Brooke ten years ago (has it been that long since the mask-boink?), but Brooke's daughter isn't married to Liam, and Brooke is separated herself. I'm not for it, per se, but I'm damn close for the sake of shaking things up on this show. We've gone around in circles long enough.

Case in point: Brooke told Ridge, "Maybe the day you see Thomas the way I do is the day you'll come back to me." Which is great, except she already said that when they signed their divorce papers. What was that Thomas was saying about recycling? Ridge wanted Brooke to give Thomas credit where credit was due. After all, "my son keeps proving himself."

What example is Ridge using to substantiate that claim? Ridge never believed Bill, or Sheila, or Quinn (at first) when they said they were bettering themselves. I get that parents are blind when it comes to their kids, but come on. Thomas was doing well because his family was there for him! Really? Steffy is barely tolerating her bro, and this again begs the question: Where. Is. Taylor? Off-screen phone calls don't count.

Ridge swore he wouldn't let Thomas run around if he was dangerous in any way. Brooke wanted to be able to forgive and accept her former berry buddy. But the one thing Bridge agreed on was that they didn't want to be away from each other anymore, and they got all kissy/snuggly. I don't know if that heralds a reunion, as that's where the week left things, but Bridge needs to get it together. They've come through worse than this!

EVERYTHING OLD IS NEW AGAIN

In the midst of planning this fashion showdown between HFTF and whatever Steffy's line is supposed to be called (what happened to Intimates?), the sexy CEO got asked out by Colin, apparently the son of a Forrester buyer. Okay, Colin was no Leo, the impossibly hot dude who asked Steffy out last year. But Colin was cute enough. What did Steffy say? "I'm flattered, but I'm focusing on my line."

Aw, again? What's the point of showing Steffy getting offers from attractive, available fashionistos if she's just going to turn them all down? Focused on her line, my butt. Focused on that giant blow-up of her and Liam on her wall, more like, which even Ridge used to motivate Steffy to go after Mr. Cha Cha Cha. Aside from being tired of Thomas, I'm even more tired of this Leffy/Lope nonsense. Can we just move on?

To be fair, we've only flirted with it the last year or so, with Steffy not acting on her lingering feelings and Liam staying devoted to Hope through the whole Phoebeth debacle. But barely a week into 2020, we're rollin' like it's 2011 again. And I don't think anybody's here for it. At least, I'm not. How I long to see some new stories on B&B! There are other characters besides Hope, Steffy, Liam, Thomas, Ridge, and Brooke. Let's use 'em.

Maybe Steffy was right to turn Colin down -- this dude was in awe that a Spectra was working for Forrester. Didn't he know the O.S. (Original Sally) manned the phones outside that very office in '06? Anyway, Steffy let the walked-out Liam crash on her couch, looking quite yummy in his T-shirt and muscles. But wait -- didn't Liam have his own room when he was living with Steffy and Kelly as a family last summer?

Details. At any rate, Steffy listened to Liam's tale of woe about him and Hope until Liam caught himself. "Wow, I'm a jerk," he realized. "I'm taking advantage of your diplomacy." I didn't see much of Steffy bristling at any news about Lope before, but apparently that's now a thing. Steffy suggested Liam get some fresh air so the show would have an excuse to film outside -- er, so Liam could get his bearings.

As Liam scanned the shores of Malibu, Steffy got a call from her bro, who had overheard Hope telling Brooke she was on her way to Steffy's and was in hot pursuit. "You're following her?" Steffy asked, aghast. "You're not over her!" Give the girl a gold star. I guess Hope should be lucky she didn't end up running off the road and dying like Emma, the last girl Thomas tailgated.

Thomas didn't want to hear it. He flat-out asked Steffy if she still wanted Liam. If so, Lope was almost over, and Steffy was to listen for Thomas' phone signal, which would indicate Hope's arrival. "You know what to do," Thomas hissed. Sad thing is, Steffy did know what to do. She went outside, waxed nostalgic to Liam, and, on cue, planted a big wet one on Liam, knowing Hope had a ringside seat!

Aha, shades of Cabo San Lucas! Who could forget how the Forrester brother-sister team worked to keep Lope apart in Mexico. Or Bridge, by sending their dad fake breakup text messages from Brooke. It doesn't seem Thomas has learned anything since that 2009 trick, but Steffy ought to have. She's actually evolved some. To be fair, Steffy did hesitate before busting a move on Liam, like she regretted doing it.

Indeed, when Hope got up in Liam's face with a WTF, Steffy said it was her fault, as she'd been the one who started the kissing. Hope was woke. But she was also hella presumptuous. "I did not expect you to go running back to Steffy!" Hope howled. "You spent the night here!" Despite Steam's explanations, Hope was convinced Liam had ditched her for Steffy in about twelve hours.

On the other hand, maybe Hope had a point. I mean, Leffy/Lope's first marry-go-round started with Hope taking off her engagement ring and Liam slipping it on Steffy's finger while it was still warm. Interestingly, it was such behavior that had Hope going off. "What you put the both of us through isn't fair," Hope seethed. "You brought back every fear and insecurity I had about our relationship!"

Yeah, Liam's got Ridge beat in the waffle department, and that's saying something. But then Hope hit Liam with, "That is why I went to Italy -- because of this." No, signora, non è vero! You went to Milan because you had just lost Wyatt's baby thanks to Quinn's smother-grandmothering. Steffy wasn't even on the show then!

Hope demanded to know (again) if Liam was still in love with Steffy (undoubtedly because Thomas had planted that seed in her head earlier in the week). Liam said he did love Steffy -- as the mother of his child. He heard Hope about Douglas, but felt she wasn't hearing him about Thomas. Thomas, who Hope proclaimed was working on himself!

Now Hope's just being a space cadet. If she really believes Thomas is working on himself after only the day before asking Thomas if he was manipulating her, then maybe Hope deserves what she gets. Thomas thought so, because he felt she deserved him. He stared from the chain-link fence, grinning. Thomas gets what he wants again!

Thomas behind that fence gave me a wonderful vision of him behind bars. What do you think, Scoopers? Is enough enough with Thomas? Should Bridge pull together already? Would Taylor coming back to help Thomas be helpful? And is there potential with Brooke and Liam? Go to warp speed in the Comments section below or on the Soap Central message boards, or simply click here to submit feedback. Your comments could wind up in a future column! Like these!

"Thomas is coming close to making Laura marry her rapist on GH seem tame and appropriate...drama is good and I want escapism not nausea inducing creepiness...I can't stomach anyone but Liam, yes LIAM, on this show anymore." -- Denise

"I totally agree with your column about the best and worst. Thomas has gone too far and it infuriates me to no end that he will probably not pay. And I am furious that the one person other than Douglas who had the guts to...do the right thing, Emma, got killed off. What a message to send, tell the truth and get run off the road, lie and all is forgiven." -- Gio

"Liam...is too stupid to realize that if he goes back to Steffy, Thomas will always be in his life as he is Kelly's uncle, Steffy's brother and Douglas is Liam's cousin once removed through Caroline. That wasn't mentioned while he kept saying to Hope, Thomas will always be in their lives, because of Douglas and working at Forrester. Either way, Liam is screwed unless Thomas dies or goes to jail. He knows Hope is so easily manipulated and truly is weak. Liam likes his cake and eat it too, but so does Hope in her own way. I'm sick of psycho Thomas too. If Shauna was the genuine caring friend to Ridge she claims, she would immediately warned him what Thomas's plans were towards Hope, his marriage to Brooke and taking over Forester Creations from Steffy..." -- "Dorinda's Pajamas"

That's all I got for you for now. Hope your 2020 is off to a decade-busting start! Keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold. And remember: no matter color, creed, religion, gender identity, orientation, or nationality, we're all beautiful!

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