Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Forrester

Hope thinks Steffy pressed Ridge for the line funding as retribution for Hope getting Liam. Ridge wants Bill to suffer in the custody battle because of what Bill did to Steffy. On B&B, all is fair in love and payback, but will Ridge lose both if he keeps crossing his wife?

Vengeance should be the Lord's, according to the good book. This week, however, Steffy and Ridge expect the Lord's share when it comes to the Holier-than-Mary Hope Logan Spencer and the dastardly Dollar Bill. Steffy ain't too proud to beg, Ridge ain't too proud to interfere, and Thorne ain't too proud to propose for a custody case.

Just when we can't take an ounce more tea, here comes Zoe, who ain't too proud to pinch-hit for Emma in Xander's bed. Plus, guess who's fantasizing about Brooke again! Let's get two scoops deep into how a little thing like vengeance just might spur love for some and cost others their lovers this week on The Bold and the Beautiful.

In case you missed it

Emma is still hiding behind clothes racks, as if anyone is looking for her boring highness. She was lurking and judging Zoe's hip twitches during runway rehearsals harder than a tennis ref. Xander struggled to keep the orgasmic snark off his face as he filmed the models doing practice runs using an eight-inch tablet, a tool my nieces told me was not cool for public photography. No wonder Ridge gave the Intimates line the money boost. It can't even afford real photographers and equipment.

I don't know how much interns make, but it has to be more than a living wage if Xander can afford to rent a romantic cabana at Bikini Bar and fill it with delicacies for her highness. On the catwalk, Zoe used what she's got to get what she wants, and in the cabana, Xander tried to get out of Emma what Zoe was making him want. Emma took his food and personal massage, but she left him with a terrible case of blue balls, which turned out to be Zoe's speciality.

Emma loved Xander's romantic effort, but the inexperienced beauty needs to take things slow. Like all the crotch rockets before her -- Sasha, Caroline Junior, Steffy, Donna, Brooke, and Stephanie -- Zoe was ready to go from zero to climax in fifteen minutes or less if Xander couldn't handle her. From his boyish, drooling glares, I'm thinking it'll be in a minute flat.

And yes, folks, I did include Stephanie in the list of supposed bad girls. She slept with Eric at a yacht party while he was dating the innocent Beth. Stephanie was dating Massimo at the time, but like a little red Corvette, she was screwing much too fast to know who her baby daddy was. Brooke thinks she might have given Steffy some bad habits, but just like Granny, Steffy didn't know who her baby's pappy was without a paternity test. Just saying.

Somehow, Xander got out of the hut with his pants still on, but Zoe warned him that she could wait until he figures out that little Miss Emma can't give him what a man needs.

Over in Bill's camp, what a man needs is an ex-wife and ex-sister-in-law to once again run interference between him and Katie. An irate Brooke met secretly with Bill, at a public restaurant Ridge frequents, to talk about her willingness to help Bill keep custody of his son. Way to be covert. Maybe Brooke thinks "undercover" really means "under covers."

Katie figured Brooke out in two seconds flat and asked if Brooke talked to Bill. Of course, Brooke did. Every time Katie does something Bill doesn't like, he tattles it to Brooke.

Justin can't believe Brooke would side with Bill against her sister, and Thorne asked if Katie was surprised that Brooke and Bill shared an opinion about custody. Surprised? No, Thorne. No one is surprised, and if you had really gotten to know Katie over the years instead of chasing her sisters, you'd know that it would be surprising if Brooke did not agree with Bill.

Any and every time there is a Katie-versus-Bill match, Brooke is in Katie's corner, trying to convince Katie to see things Bill's way. Any and every time Brooke advocates for Bill, he falls right back in love with Brooke. Bill fell for Brooke when she helped him after Katie left him alone with an infant. Bill fell for Brooke when she tried to convince Katie to lay off Bill about the drinking. He fell for Brooke when she went to work at Spencer, and he's falling for Brooke now that she's the only person in the city who's willing to give Bill another chance.

Brooke had better mind her loyalties. If Brooke keeps this up, she'll be crying and blowing her nose with divorce papers. She can't have forgotten what happened the last time she kept secrets for an ex. Ridge mutinied on their prior marriage because Deacon was secretly texting her about their daughter during their honeymoon.

Parenting is so important to Ridge, but he doesn't want any man whom he dislikes to have relationships with their children. Ridge knows best for Will. Ridge knows best for Kelly. Ridge knows best for Hope and for Douglas.

Steffy suspects that Ridge just wants revenge for what Ridge thinks Bill did to her, and she is absolutely right. Ridge thinks Bill deserves to lose his son because Bill "took advantage" of Steffy. Ridge should turn some of that wrong-headedness in Liam's direction on behalf of Steffy and Hope before he winds up losing his marriage over doling out punishments and rewards to their daughters, Liam, and Bill.

It's uncanny how unconcerned Ridge was when Will's brother was sleeping with Will's mother. Ridge had no problem with himself, Bill's biggest enemy, being Will's stepfather or Will's aunt being his stepmother. Yet, the moment Ridge can't control what Steffy does in bed, he consoles himself by making Bill into a rapist who doesn't deserve his child.

Who else did Ridge think that about? His own son. How concerned was Ridge about his grandson after hearing about Caroline's dying scam and Thomas ping-ponging between Sally and Caroline? Not concerned at all. Yet Brooke's nephew is totally Ridge's business.

p>Let Ridge tell it, his creepy brother is better for Will than Will's own father. Make no mistake; Thorne is creepy. He's creepier than Norman Bates stroking taxidermied birds while staring at plunging necklines. Thorne has this lurking presence and an unnerving whisper speak. You know, the soft, placating tone that conveys that he wouldn't even hurt a fly -- unless that fly is buzzing in and around the perfect life he thinks he can have with Katie. Even the breathy way he says "Katie" makes me cringe.

Let me just confess. I binge-watched the Bates Motel, and I'm chasing it with a shot of the original Psycho as I write this piece. I can totally imagine Thorne, who has serious mother issues, roaming around Katie's house in the black and white movie while Stephanie stares down at him from the house on the hill. Katie is crazy her damned self, so maybe she and Thorne are a match made in the murder shower.

Thorne has a couple things going for him. He was born to hand-jive with Will, and he did better than putting a string on it when he proposed to Katie. It's a lovely ring. Katie's second one this year, but who cares enough to count besides me? Maybe a custody judge?

It took Thorne long enough to pop the question, didn't it? The proposal was longer than the time they've been dating! You'd think he'd never asked five women before Katie.

The proposal took so long, I went to the bathroom. I got back, and he was still talking about Reading Rainbow, Picture Pages, or some crap he wants to do with Will. I fixed a snack. When I came back, Thorne was talking about loving Katie and Will. Katie was staring at him, nodding, and grunting, "Mmhmm. Mmhmm," after his every other sentence. I checked the mail, cleaned the toilets, walked the huskies, and came back to Thorne babbling about all the domestic bliss he'd found in the hills. Mmhmm, mmhmm. I'm listening.

Right before I flipped on the vacuum, Thorne said he and Katie could win the court case with "this." Thorne cracked open a ring box, light shot out of it, and angels sang in the heavens. Maybe all that was all in my head, but the ring is pretty. The week ended with Katie crying and gazing at him. Will Katie accept or ask him to repeat it because she really wasn't listening.

Steffy thinks Katie is a strong, independent working mother, just like herself, but when Steffy couldn't sell Ridge on giving the bonus money to her line by merit, she bought it from him with Daddy's-little-girl tears. Hope believes that Steffy swooped in and convinced her daddy to give Steffy's line the money because Steffy was jealous that Hope was leading the life Steffy claimed belonged to her. Steffy denied it.

Well, Steffy, you can deny the horse drank the water, but you can't stop him from peeing on the floor. Don't think overthink it; just go with it.

Steffy told Ridge that it was exactly why she needed the line boost. Steffy feels like Hope has everything; therefore, Steffy deserved the money. Steffy acts like she sacrificed her marriage and her happiness just so Hope and her baby can have a future. Is anyone going to remind the Elvira, Mistress of Lingerie, that Liam had Hope up against a wall, on a table with her leg hiked?

And Hope wasn't wearing a stick of Intimates lingerie, proving what Brooke said -- you can get drawers anywhere. Heck, Rihanna even has a lingerie line, folks. She just had a showing the other week, and some designs kind of look like something Sally Spectra moonlighted on.

Seriously, props to Ri-Ri for doing the damn thing and doing it well. But it still proves Brooke and Hope's point. You can get lingerie anywhere, but where can you get a social message? Well, actually, from Ri-Ri, who has an anti-body shaming campaign. Oh, wait. Steffy did say something about moms reclaiming their bods. Anyway, you get the point -- or not.

On a side note, anybody know what happened to the Men's Line? Just asking, since Ridge said they can only have Couture, a support line, and jewelry. I bet Hope never thought her jewelry line idea would eclipse HFTF. Wait. I just had an idea. Hope needs get Wyatt back on HFTF.

Liam claims he can do social media, but Wyatt is the rock star maker. Liam can concentrate on reviving and incorporating into HFTF the foundation he had when Wyatt was married to Steffy. Put Wyatt on the marketing, and voila! Steffy is jealous and feeling inadequate in her panties all over again because Hope proved once more that she is just all around better.

I mean, seriously. HFTF was bigger than Couture last go-round. Hell, HFTF was couture in Amsterdam, but Steffy couldn't even keep Intimates going off the past Brooke's Bedroom hype. I feel very little joy in seeing Steffy down and out, but Steffy deserves to eat a little retribution if Hope can pull a success out of the line Steffy's talked Ridge into hobbling.

I'm not in love with Hope as I was pre-Paris. She needs to get back to being the kickass queen she was before her miscarriage. I don't like Hope getting all "Taylor" on Steffy. Hope watched Taylor constantly put Brooke down, and I'm not buying Hope taking on Taylor's superiority trait.

The week ended with Xander hugging Emma but thinking of sex with Zoe, Katie responding to Thorne's marriage proposal with crickets, Ridge reveling in Bill's demise as a father, Bill kissing Brooke, and Brooke staring at Bill as if he just popped his last brain cell. Will Xander use Zoe until Emma is ready for sex? Will Katie marry Thorne for show? Will Ridge's resentment of Bill cost Ridge his marriage? And did Bill actually pop his last brain cell to kiss Brooke like that?

Tug-O-Will

Thorne thinks "we" will look better in court if "we" are married. "We?" Katie repeated. "What's all this 'we' stuff?" That's what "we" all want to know, Katie. That's what we all want to know.

Thorne started dating Katie about two months back, and he's already planning her life. Thorne shoved Wyatt right out of the way, and now Thorne is trying to push Bill out of Will's life. While Katie is still settling into the new relationship, Thorne has already decided who will have sole custody of her and Will -- Thorne.

By marrying Katie, Thorne can get his name in the custody agreement if Bill is stripped of his parental rights, and what says to whom Katie belongs better than Sting's "Every Breath You Take"? A marriage certificate, of course!

I blame it on Ridge, who cannot stay out of Thorne's ear, hyping Thorne up to be the man for Katie and Will. Ridge did the same thing with Taylor about Bill and Steffy, which is what got Bill shot. Steffy should tell Ridge what Taylor did, so he can be satisfied that Bill already got what he "deserved" for hooking up with Steffy. Wouldn't Bill be interested to know that not only did Ridge bad-mouthing Bill get Bill shot, but it also set this custody battle into motion.

Maybe Thorne can be a good father figure for Will. However, unless the birth father is abusive, I don't think Thorne or any other man can be a good father figure if he starts out by squeezing the child's birth father out of the picture. While I understand what Katie is going through, I still say she hasn't given Bill a real chance. Brooke agrees. Brooke's opinion and mine, plus six bucks, can get you a five-dollar footlong.

Were you surprised when Katie said Bill has been acting this way for a year? It means it began when Brooke left him. Within that year, Bill brought a building down on his son, lost his wife to his worst enemy, got shot by his son's mother-in-law, and lost two executives at his company. That's a lot of hardship in one year, even if he brought it all upon himself -- except the shooting.

I still believe, now that Katie has let Bill know the issue, she needs to give him a chance before filing for sole custody or full custody. I don't know which she wants because she uses the terms interchangeably. Brooke told Katie basically what I think about it, which is that it makes no sense to take Bill away from Will to solve Will being hurt if Bill doesn't show up.

There is no way for Katie to control Bill showing up unless she says he can never show up again. Even then, this is Bill we're talking about here. She probably still won't be able to control it. I guess that's where Thorne comes in. He has crowned himself Bill's watchdog.

Katie and Thorne claim they just want to provide stability for the boy, but in my view, Thorne just wants to take over. No one can convince me that a man who had to end his engagement to a woman because his daughter cut up her wedding dress, but then tried to force the daughter to accept the relationship later, can stand in judgment of Bill's parenting skills. Thorne knew Aly was "special." He should have followed her back to Los Angeles to keep an eye on her.

As for Ridge, I wonder how his misplaced vengeance against Bill will feel if it costs Ridge his marriage to Brooke. Whether you agree with Brooke or not, you gotta admit that she is at least looking out for what is best for Will, Katie, and Bill. Ridge just wants Katie to win to spite Bill. Thorne only looks out for what's best for his future. Katie is letting herself be misled due to her need for a man in her life, and Bill? Well, I have a hashtag for him to strive for: #BeBest.

Maybe Brooke ought to let Will live with her until the others figure out what they are doing. It's not like it's that hard to mother him. Just give him a video game and a book and be there to open the door when his friends' mothers pick him up and drop him off. Boom. Done. It's so easy, even Bill Spencer can do it -- if Katie would let him.

In a look ahead: Engaged and Enraged

Next week's preview hints that Katie and Thorne are engaged, and Bill is enraged. Bill tells Ridge that Bill will fight for his son. Monday's episode preview shows Katie saying that Thorne doesn't have to marry her just because it will look good in court. Brooke tells Bill that she's a married woman and intends to stay that way.

I predict that Katie will take the ring. It's too exquisite not to. It's also too much for Katie to pass up the idea that she can actually provide Will with a functional family -- which she can't because I believe Thorne secretly has a mummified Stephanie somewhere in the Forrester basement.

I also believe Bill might back off of Brooke and apologize for kissing her. He probably just got carried away that someone finally was agreeing with him and helping him instead of yelling at him or shooting him. I also think that all this talk of wedding bells and marriage just might remind Bill of a certain set of notarized stock paperwork.

Something tells me that Ridge will go too far in rubbing things in with Bill about Will, Steffy, and the Forrester stock. Bill will decide to match Thorne and Katie's engagement by holding Steffy to their marriage/stock agreement.

Let us know what you think. Should Katie marry Thorne for the sake of the custody, or are those two actually in love and marriage-ready after just a couple of months of dating? Would Bill pull the stock card on Steffy to make him look good at the custody hearing? Should Hope feel slighted by Ridge's decision to back Intimates over HFTF, or should she enlist Wyatt on her team to help her prove she didn't need Ridge's stinking money anyway?

Until we scoop again, if your ex-wife plans to marry as a ploy to gain sole custody of your child, your next move had better be as cutthroat as it is bold and beautiful, baby!

Let us know what you think in the Comment section below or on our message boards. Until we scoop again, may your Labor Day be bold and beautiful, baby!

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